We giggle a little and it lightens the mood before she continues. “How are you two in the bedroom? Is everything back on track? Or is it too soon to ask?”
If anyone else had asked I’d have told them to mind their own fucking business but not Abby, she had hit the nail on the head within five minutes of conversation. It was non-existent. “Not good.”
“Ok - well it will take time to get back to swinging from the chandeliers again but a little missionary for a while never hurt anyone.” Her cheeky wink is met with my tightly rolled lips. “Oh! Not even missionary?”
I shake my head.
“And how’s Seb with that? I mean sex isn’t everything at all, it’s important that mentally you are ready as well as physically, hun - both of you - but you two are all about the passion.”
“I know and I miss him so much. I can’t seem to get us back to where we were. He hasn’t even been sleeping in my bed.”
“No fucking wonder - love! You’re never going to get any action if you are in separate beds.”
“I agree.” I shake my head on a smile and refill my wine glass, topping up Abs at the same time. “I am ready. I want him badly.”
“Well then, you need to do something about it. You’ve basically been a ‘poorly person’ for the past weeks, and he will have been wandering around with a monstrous stonk-on, scared to come near you in case you thought he was pressuring you to have sex. The fact that you haven’t talked hasn’t helped much - its not like you two though is it.”
“We have talked - we’ve talked about the psycho who did this to us. We talked about the baby and what could have been and how its loss was fate - we both believe in fate and the fact that it was neither his, nor my fault and that we didn’t blame one other.”
“Well that’s something, cause its nobody’s fault but that bastard, Lu. Not yours or Seb’s.”
“Thanks, hun. But since those conversations all we’ve spoken about are hospital appointments, medications, side-effects, Finn, family, work schedules and what to have for tea, completely skirting around the massive elephant in the room, that is ‘sex’ - seeing as my foo-foo has had an ‘closed for business’ sign hanging over it!”
“So you think the issues between you are all about sex.”
“Yes.”
"“Are you honestly ready to have sex again? Hot dirty, lose yourself sex in the moment and be ravished sex?”
“Oh. My. God, yes please! I’ve had one of those hormone coils inserted too so it could be spontaneous. Ah just the thought of Sebastian naked is turning me on.”
“Oh, hunny you’ve got it bad. You are ready and I’m so happy for you. I was worried that you’d have that washed out empty look for a while.”
“I know, Abs, I’ve found it hard but I’m getting there and Finn has helped. Kids keep you going, you know? But seriously, it’s embarrassing I’m such a bloody horny bitch.”
“Not at all - I’ve said it before, these Silver brothers, are irresistible - magnetic.”
“They are. I sent him a saucy text today, to you know ‘break the seal’ - get back to how we were before the miscarriage.”
“And?”
“He sent one back.” I smile coyly.
“Oh - it was that good yeah?” she raises she raises her brows cheekily and I nod, tightlipped.
I stare into space, considering my next words carefully - its time. “Abs? I’ve wanted to tell you something, been desperate to tell you in fact since it happened but well, life kind of got in the way the past few weeks. Please don’t be mad with me that I didn’t tell you this past month.”
“What? For goodness sake, Lulu what’s the problem? Are you Ok?”
“I’m fine. The night of the accident Sebastian came to see me, and told me about the miscarriage…” I feel Abs grab my hand tightly in support and I squeeze it back. “…Anyway that night he proposed!”
“WTF? And you didn’t tell me - OMG, Lu, this is fantastic news! What did you say? You said yes of course, yes? Durr, silly me, course you did! How did he do it? Was it romantic?” her beaming face is contagious and I grin back at her verbal diarrhoea.
“Yes, I accepted and it was all very romantic, considering I was wearing a head bandage, hospital gown, cast on my arm and looked like a I’d done ten rounds with Mike Tyson. He was amazing really!”
“So?”
“Now I’m having second thoughts.”
“What! Seriously that head injury has given you worryingly bad judgement - what is there to be confused about? He is drop-dead gorgeous, rich, successful, your best-friend and an amazing role-model to Finn and lets not forget he fucking loves you!”
“You’re totally right. They are not the reason for my concerns - I’m worried that he proposed because he felt he ought to? Like it was expected?
“Since when has Seb done anything he didn’t want to. He is the ultimate control freak - no one could force him to do something he wasn’t 100% into. I get that you might think he’s stepping up and being responsible but that would only work if you were actually still pregnant - sorry to be blunt, babe but it would - not when you’re not.”
She’s right, I’d never considered that point of view and it made a lot of sense. “But what if I can’t have kids anymore - its a definite possibility now and I love him - I only want the best for him and I want him to have kids.”
“You are the best for him, Lu and you have a kid. He’s already decided that with his proposal, you daft thing - Sebastian Silver would never propose to a woman lightly. It’s soon for talks of marriage I get it, but you’ve been friends for a decade - you know one another, take that leap, together. That’s just my advice, but you’d be a fool not to march him down to City Hall asap and make it legal.” She drains the remnants of her glass and wiggles it in my face. “Whoa, this counselling lark is thirsty work!”
“Nah ah, only coffee for you now. You’ve got work tomorrow and you’ll kill me in the morning if I let you drink anymore. It’s a school night.”
“Party-pooper, but you’re right.”
“Thanks, Abs. We haven’t spoken about the proposal, other than for me to ask him not to tell anyone about it, so you’re the first to know - don’t mention it to anyone yet will you?”
“Of course I won’t but seriously, babe you really need to step it up with Seb - if you want this. I know you’ve been grieving and will continue to forever and a day, it will take time for the rawness to subside but if you love this man and you want to marry him, you have to show him - show you’re fully committed and that means, stop hiding and trust in his feelings and yours. You have to make him feel like he is your everything.”
I nod, relieved that finally the weight had lifted from my shoulders. Telling Abby was the best decision and all she had done was mirror my own feelings on the situation. “It’s hard with him away in Paris right now.”
“Ditto. I miss Nathan so bad, but I need to get a rein on my desire to be with him 24/7 - its doing us good to have some breathing space.”
“I’ve not seen you this hooked, Abs? Do you think this is it for you too?”
“I think it could be on my part but he can be very hard to read sometimes. I’m not even sure if he’s here to stay? Whether he’ll go back to Oz or settle here? We don’t have the ten years of foundations you and Seb have.”
“That can work against you too - sometimes it works better to be coming into this without history, no second guessing, relying on friendship and getting comfortable...”
“Hmmm. Well… I don’t know what’s going to happen between us but that’s for another night, getting back to you two, I know what you’re doing this weekend; grab that laptop and I’ll make us a cuppa.”
“What do you have up that Zara sleeve of yours?”
“‘Paris’ and there will be nothing gay about it, lovely, it’ll be an explosive and intoxicating heterosexual ride that neither of you will forget, full of sex, sex and more sex and movie-style ro
mance that will blow the cobwebs from your nunny, once and for all. Then and I mean then… you’re going to propose to him!”
I watch her animated face, brown eyes glittering with mirth and hands gesticulating, as her mind works in overdrive. “Great minds think alike. I think you’ve hit the nail on the head. Tell me more about your plans for how I make up for lost time with my man.”
*******
I awake Tuesday morning rejuvenated and ready to put all my plans into action. First things first - I need a visit to the gym. I need to burn off some off last night’s calories, blast away my anger, stress and reinvigorate my body. I’ve missed exercising, not just for the benefits of maintaining my weight - it balanced my mind. I needed to stimulate the serotonin in my brain and flick my iPod to maximum volume. It takes ten minutes to make the journey from Finn’s Creche to my gym and en route I mentally make notes about who and what I’m going to organise when I reach the office. Once parked, I quickly text my mum and ask her to have Finn for the weekend, briefly explaining my plans to ensure that she has plenty of notice; her response flies through instantaneously with a barrage of thumbs up emoticons. She was definitely on board then, bless her. I’m already feeling better by the time I step inside the doors of Canons. This was going to be brutal but it had to be done.
A quick change and I head straight for the treadmill, music on, and with Redlight’s ‘Lost in your Love’, blasting in my ears, I’m off and within ten minutes I feel better and have moved from a steady pace to a fast walk. I’m mindful that I need to take it steady and not push my body too fast - I’ve had the all clear but I can’t go all out… yet. I’ll have to build my fitness levels over the next month, or so but the adrenaline rushing through my veins is exhilarating and despite the odd tug in my abdomen and stiffness in my joints and muscles I feel empowered.
I watch the TV screen in front of me, focusing on the news as my body aches in all the right places and I smile inwardly, pleased that it’s reacting to the work-out - that my body and not just my mind, is beginning to feel again. In a few days I’d be with Sebastian, as a couple, away from the stress and worries of home-life and enjoying a spur of the moment long dirty-weekend for two, where my body will be feeling things I hadn’t felt for weeks; I couldn’t wait. It was good to be sensing those tell-tale curls of sexual flutterings again and not just reviewing sex as a reminder of a pregnancy that was no more. I needed to do this for us but more importantly for me and the longer I left it, the harder it would be, pardon the pun.
Sweat trickles over my body as I blast the stress away, sipping regularly from my water bottle and resisting the urge to overdue it now that I’m buzzing with energy - I know tomorrow I’ll feel the burn. I’m about to think about heading off for a shower when I notice someone waving in my peripheral vision and slipping out an earphone I turn and try not to show my disappointment at the figure standing casually to the right of my treadmill.
“You were miles away… how’s things, Lucia?”
“Not bad thanks, Leo. First time back at the gym in a while so I’m having to concentrate a little more than the norm.”
“Cool! Good for you. You, fully recovered then? I have tried to come round but Sebastian is a force to be reckoned with.” He laughs nervously, his blue eyes flickering over my body.
He is that and thank heavens. “I’m getting there, thanks. I’ve seen Meg a few times and I received your flowers, they were lovely.”
“Oh, they were nothing. You’ve had an awful time, Lucia. I honestly felt so bad for you.”
I flick the button that stops the treadmill and allow my body a moment to maintain equilibrium. It’s times like these that I berate myself for being so hard on Leo in the past, he meant well. Stepping off the machine I wobble slightly and immediately Leo’s arms fly out to balance me, enveloping me and crushing me to his side.
“Whoa, steady there.” His laugh is contagious and I smile, feeling slightly more comfortable in his company.
“I never judge the dismount, cheers. Right, well, I better be off, got to shower and get ready for work.” I grab my hand towel and pat at my face gently. “You just starting?”
“No. I’m done. I’m on my way to the showers now.”
I frown, taking in his immaculate appearance, not a hair out of place. Maybe he’d not given it his all today? “Well, I’ll catch up with you later, then.”
“Of course. I may see you later, I have some paperwork for you to sign for Elysium but I don’t want to pressure you and it can wait. I can be as much help as you need, Lu, seriously - whatever you require.” I feel his friendly shoulder rub and again castigate myself for my continued negative thoughts towards this gentle, if occasionally intense man. He meant well and seemed really happy with my neighbour Meg.
“Thanks, Leo, I really appreciate it.”
“I’ll get Meg to cook one night this week and you and Finn must come round.”
“That would be lovely, thanks.
“Would be our pleasure. Meg does a mean Lasagne.”
I smile openly and turn to head in the direction of the changing rooms.“Great, tell her I’ll give her a call. See you soon.”
“You will.”
*****
My first stop is The Gilded Fox to meet with one of Seb’s newly appointed Site Foremen, Andre. He had already proven himself with his ultra organisational skills, working to my diva demands, from home the past few weeks. He’d been accommodating and understanding of our tight deadlines and unfortunate circumstances and we’d formed a mutual respect for one another at our first meeting. Mine in my dressing gown, plaster cast in place, bruised and battered but he was one of the few people who hadn’t pandered to that. He’d simply ignored it and treated me like a client. It probably helped that I was a stranger to him but I liked him immediately - loved the fact that he hadn’t come with a cloak of pity wrapped about him for my circumstances. He was probably empathetic but didn’t know me well enough to feel it deeply.
Our collaborations had taken place by email and phone, or Facetime link on the iPad on site from then on, often with Colin in tow and surprisingly we were still on track for the bathrooms tiling to begin today.
“Andre - great to see you. How’s it all looking?”
“Looking good, Lucia. We’ve started in Room 1 as it’s the biggest bathroom and Room 3, as it’s the second largest.”
“Great thinking Batman.”
He smiles shyly and I grin. I like him. I could see him for one of our friends - maybe Jess?
“Well, here’s the board you asked for - it’ll just give you and the guys a better idea of how things will look. I know you’ve seen the plans and have the materials now but sometimes it’s hard for some to visualise the end result.”
“This is just what we needed, thank you. The lads are great with their hands and their workmanship is second to none but they’d be the first to admit that design isn’t their forte. Stick a picture in front of them and we’ll get this job the way you want it.”
I nod, understanding completely. “So where are we at?”
“Well, the plumbing is in for all the rooms, all the suites, and lighting, that was completed last week, based upon our previous meetings and Seb helped coordinate. The walls were re-plastered, because when we removed the old tiles, as you know, they did some real damage. So the rooms are all ready to for tiling and the we’ll lay the wood floors last.”
“Superb.”
“Room 1 has already begun - do you want to see?”
“Oh. My. God. Does it look amazing? Lead the way.” I follow his carefully trodden path, across planks of placed wood and stretched pieces of cloth, up the stairs to the bedrooms above. The Inn would be closed for business for the next fortnight, so that we could complete these works and I am determined to finish on time - we had no choice, Carolyn Walters was losing business being closed for that amount of time. We really needed to make this design makeover bloody amazing and worth all this loss
of potential revenue. No pressure then.
I step over a trestle table where tools and pots, precariously balance, and head into the guest-room I’d originally viewed on my first visit to The Gilded Fox. Everything had gone, leaving a huge airy blank space, with a tremendous potential. I could see the finished image in front of me now, not physically of course but in my mind’s eye. The bed, wall coverings and following the fashion trend of the moment, the tub in the bedroom. That focal point is actually now in place, as promised and as stunning as I’d envisaged, its copper outer glistening like bronzed water, a huge oval egg in front of the hole in the wall where the recessed fire will be. Be…u…ti…ful.
“So, what do you think?” Andre enquires from behind me.
“Perfection. Seriously. Has it been a bastard?”
He laughs. “We’ve had a few glitches - namely with the weight of the thing - it weighs a ton, but nah, we got there in the end. Chris, has been pretty good, he likes you - has been all over this job like a rash. Kept asking when you would be on site.”
I’m not sure how I feel about this. I hadn’t seen Chris much since the accident and he’d moved out of Seb’s place now and into his own. No matter how much more serious Seb & I became as a couple, Chris seemed to linger. Instead I choose to refrain from voicing my negative thoughts. “Chris is a good wingman to Sebastian. I appreciate his assistance on this job. He did some great work on The Ashton Hotel.”
“Well, I better get back to it? Do you need to see anything else?”
I consider the room. “Nope. The bathroom’s need to be completed by next week, that includes paintwork. All of them, so if you don’t have enough people on the job, get them. Decorating starts a week tomorrow in the rooms. Flooring goes down a week on Friday, leaving three days for furniture and accessories and 60 minute makeover etc. The launch is a week on Friday.”
The One Adored (The One Trilogy Book 3) Page 5