“Adults make mistakes all the time, and I made a huge one, Clay. But I promise you, I swear, I will never do anything like that ever again.”
He watches me, his emotions streaming down his face in the same way mine are as I open my arms back up, begging him with my eyes to let me hold him.
His muscles twitch before his eyes close and he takes two steps toward me, flinging himself at my chest and sobbing uncontrollably.
I hold him tighter than I’ve ever held anyone in my entire life, clinging on like he’s the only raft in the open sea that’ll get me to shore safely.
I promise him over and over again that I’ll never do it again: I’ll never leave him.
Pulling him up, I settle him on my lap even though he’s too big for that now, but I don’t care because right now I need to be close to him; I need him to know I’ll never let him go again—not even if my life depended on it.
After what feels like an hour, and most probably is, he lifts his head, his tears dried up as he sniffs. “I missed you.”
“I missed you, too,” I tell him, cupping his face in my hands. “I love you.”
“I love you, too,” he replies, taking a deep breath that stutters around us. “I got you a birthday gift.”
Raising my brow, I give him a small grin. “I told everyone no presents.”
He shrugs before lifting off my lap, picking up his book and handing me something from inside it. My throat dries when I see the picture of me, him, and Izzie in the backyard at Tris’s house, smiles on our faces.
“I thought you could stick it to the side of your chair so we’re always here with you.”
My hand flutters to the base of my throat, rubbing against the lump. “Clay,” I whisper, my voice barely audible. “This is perfect.”
Looking back at him, he smiles wide before asking, “Can I come over more now we’re friends again?”
“Of course you can,” I tell him, looking up as a shadow appears from the doorway of the kitchen.
Nate gives me his secret smile, his gaze moving to Clay as he says, “Head on out back, bud. Food is ready.”
Clay nods, giving me one last hug before spinning around and heading through the kitchen, leaving me, Nate, and my new favorite picture.
“You okay?” he asks, moving toward me and crouching down.
I consider the question, wondering if I am okay. And when peace washes through me mixed in with the laughter from outside and Frankie’s cries, I nod because I know I am; in fact, I’m more than okay—I’m finally home.
I hear the distinct strumming of a guitar as I wheel down the hallway, followed by Maya’s raspy voice as she sings a line in the song she’s been working on. She told me just last week something has unlocked within her recently and she’s been flooded with lyrics she just has to write down. I pause at the start of the living room, watching as her eyes close before she strums one last time and puts the guitar down next to her on the sofa. She writes something in her notebook she’s always carrying around with her before picking up her cell and I clap my hands to announce myself, causing her to jump out of her skin.
“Oh my God!” Her hand flies to her chest as she jumps up off the sofa, her cell flying over the floor and coming to a stop in front of me. “You shouldn’t sneak up on people like that!”
Raising my brow at her, I say, “We’re Nate free.”
“We are?” she asks, her lips quirking up on one side.
Since I moved in with Nate he’s been at home almost all of the time, only going into the city when it’s absolutely necessary.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s nice to have him here all of the time, but sometimes I need a break from him. Maya comes to visit more than anyone else, and we’ve developed a friendship that has her talking openly with me—boys being the main topic of conversation.
So today when Nate had to go into the office for the first time in weeks, I practically fist bumped the air knowing Maya was coming over.
I nod my head in confirmation, waving at myself and the clothes I’m wrapped up in.
“What’s the plan?” she asks, her eyes lighting up with mischief.
“I thought we could head over to the lake, maybe even dip our toes in the water.” I barely contain my smile as she widens her eyes.
“But… you… I…”
“Chill out, Maya. I’m joking.”
“I swear, you’re out to get me.” Shaking her head, she walks toward me and picks up her cell. “Let’s get going.”
Wheeling toward the kitchen, I halt when I look down at my feet. Even though I can’t physically walk through the woods, I still want to have the feeling like I am.
“Can you do me a favor?” I ask her. “Could you grab my walking boots from the bedroom?”
Shrugging, she spins around and heads back up the hallway while I lean down and take the Converse off my feet one at a time.
“Are these them?” Maya asks a couple of minutes later, holding up the walking boots Nate bought me all that time ago. I’d refused to wear them because they hadn’t been worn in, but right now it doesn’t matter, so I say, “Yeah.”
Taking them from her, I place them on my lap, sorting the laces out before bending down and trying to get them on my feet. The hardness of the new boots makes it almost impossible to do it myself, and when sweat starts to bead on my forehead, I throw my hands up in the air. “Can you help me?” I ask Maya, hating that those words have come out of my mouth but wanting to go to the lake for an hour to see the view and watch the water as I remember what it felt like against my skin.
“Sure.” Her eyes meet mine, a softness and understanding shining in their depths before she kneels down, taking one of the boots and pushing my left foot inside it, tying the laces before moving to the right foot.
“Wait!” I shout when she’s about to push my foot in, my eyes wide. “Do that again.”
Her brows form a frown as she tilts her head back up to me. “Do what?”
“Touch my foot there again.”
She moves her fingers slightly and a loud gasp leaves my mouth as the sensation rolls through me. My stomach dips, my hands landing on my chest as my breaths come faster and harsher. I shake my head, not quite believing it.
“Did you… did you feel that?” Maya asks, her voice full of wonderment.
I lift my gaze from my foot, still able to feel her fingers on the top of it in one spot. I don’t understand, my brain wants to deny it but my heart is soaring at what this could possibly mean. It may only be a small spot on the bridge of my foot, but it’s more than I’ve been able to feel for more than six months.
“I… I think I did.”
“Oh my God, Amelia!” Maya makes quick work of pushing my boot on, tying it up before she jumps into a standing position, pulling her cell out of her back pocket. “We have to call Nate.”
“No!” I grab her phone, pulling it out of her grasp. “Not yet. I don’t....” Clearing my throat, I try to make sense of everything. Does this mean all of the feeling will come back? Or will it only be that area? “I don’t want to get his hopes up, let’s erm… let’s keep this between us for now.”
“What? No! You have to tell him: this is major!”
Flicking my gaze back up to Maya’s, I try to convey as much as I can through my eyes. “Not yet, Maya. It’s a small spot: it could mean anything. Let me call Doctor Bale first… just… let me process it all.”
“I really think you should tell Nate. He’d want to know about this.”
I grit my teeth, knowing she’s right but not wanting to admit it because I have no idea what this means.
“I can’t, Maya. Not yet. Please just…” I sigh. “Please, keep this between us.”
“I don’t like this. I never keep secrets from my brother.” Guilt washes over me, but I don’t back down. I don’t want him to know yet: not until I know for sure what’s going on.
“I hate that I’m asking you to keep a secret,” I tell her. “But I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t
important. I don’t know what is going on myself yet.”
Biting her bottom lip, Maya studies me for several beats and I watch as she decides what she should do before she nods her head slowly. “Okay.” Nodding her head again, she repeats. “Okay, but I still think you should tell him.”
We stare at each other in silence for a minute that feels like an hour, hope blossoming throughout me at this new revelation.
“Let’s go to the lake and put this to the back of our minds until I know more.” I say the words but I don’t mean them because just the feeling of feeling my boot on the top of my foot has me grinning like a fool—there’s no way I could put this to the back of my mind.
“Right, yeah, the lake.” Maya grins before her cell goes off in my hand, and when I move my gaze toward it and see Jake’s name pop up with a message, I quirk my lips at the corner.
“I think your boyfriend is texting you.”
Her hand whips out, grabbing the cell as her eyes greedily take in the message. “Shut up,” she says, her voice light and joking. She walks through the kitchen doors, heading out the back as she shouts, “Jake said hi!”
I grin, loving seeing her like this. It only took one week after New Year’s Eve for him to finally ask her out and make it official. I was the first person she called when he did—in the middle of her AP English class. I could hear her teacher shouting at her to put the cell away, but she didn’t, instead she told me the whole story leading up to him making a big production in front of the whole school asking her to be his girlfriend.
“Tell him hi back,” I reply, wheeling through the kitchen and down the ramp leading out to the patio area.
When I get there, Maya puts her cell away, smiling wide at me. “You sure your chair will be okay through the woods? I could get the cart.”
“Yeah, we’ll be fine,” I tell her, trying to remember the route Nate took us to the lake all that time ago. We made it without a problem back then, but when I look down at the grass, I take note of the wetness—it must have rained last night. I don’t mention this though, instead I continue to wheel along the path, Maya’s cell pinging constantly.
She ignores it, looking around at the trees, but I can see the expression on her face. “Answer it,” I tell her, relishing in her grin as soon as she pulls it out.
Do I have the same expression on my face when Nate looks at me or when I’m thinking about him?
I close my eyes briefly, halting and relishing in the sounds of singing birds and the leaves as they sway with the slight wind. The oranges and browns are starting to give way to new buds and green leaves, ready for the new season.
Pushing down on the wheels, I move forward as I open my eyes, seeing Maya about twenty feet in front of me, stuck in her own little world.
“Shit.”
I push harder on the wheels, willing them to move as I look down, watching them sink further into the mud on the side of the path. Maybe we should have taken the cart.
“Maya?” She doesn’t hear me as she wanders off down the path. My movements become jerky, needing to get this chair out of where it’s stuck in the mud.
“Maya!”
“Amelia?” her soft voice calls, and when she spins around, her eyes go wide.
“Help?”
She jogs back to me, assessing the damage as I continue to try and relieve myself from the spot I’m in.
“Stop!” She places her hands on the handles. “You’re sinking in deeper.”
She stands behind me, groaning as she pulls on the handles but not getting us anywhere.
“Maybe try from the front?” I suggest.
She rounds the front, her Converse covered entirely in wet mud. “I told you we should have taken the cart.”
“Yeah, yeah.” I wave her away as she places her hands on the sides. “Just help me get out of here.”
She pushes at the same time I pull back on the wheels, managing to move an inch before I sink back down again. We do the same thing for what feels like hours, not getting any traction before Maya lets out a battle cry, so loud my ears start to ring. For whatever reason, it must make all the difference because suddenly I’m shoved backward.
“Yes!” I shout, feeling like we just achieved something, but then Maya’s feet slip from under her.
Her gaze meets mine, her eyes wide and shocked as we both realize she’s going down and there’s nothing we can do about it.
“You guys really didn’t need me here today, come on! You’ve been working here for nearly a year now.” I scrub a hand through my hair in frustration. I could’ve been at home doing something with Maya and Amelia.
I look down at my watch seeing it’s still before twelve and stand up. “I’m going to go home now and see my girl because it looks like you’ve got this all under control, Jamie.”
He nods sheepishly and turns toward Henry. “I did tell him.”
I start to say something but stop myself, they’ll learn to work better together eventually. “I’ll see you on Monday.”
They say their goodbyes and I walk out of the conference room and over to the elevators, taking it down to the lot.
The drive back to the house takes longer than I want it to but when I arrive, my muscles immediately relax as I park in the garage and walk through the house—the very silent house.
“Maya, Amelia?”
When I get no answer, I walk into the kitchen, opening the patio door a little and peering out. Not seeing them out there, I decide to check the pool until I hear a growl ending in a scream coming from the direction of the woods.
I throw myself out of the gap I’ve made in the doors, bashing my shoulder and stumbling before righting myself and running as fast as I can, cursing myself for wearing these stupid brogues for going into the office on a Saturday.
“Amelia! Maya!” I shout between harsh breaths as I near the woods.
As I break through the clearing, I see Amelia in her chair facing away from me but Maya is lying down in the mud I’m having trouble running through.
“Maya!”
Amelia’s head snaps my way but instead of panic on her face like I’m expecting, she’s crying with laughter and so is Maya.
“What… why…” I put up a finger to catch my breath, feeling like my heart is about to explode out of my chest.
“Erm…” Amelia gasps, trying to get herself under control but she fails as she blurts out, “I got stuck.”
I brace my hands on my knees, pulling in a final deep breath before holding my hand out for Maya to take hold of. “You what?”
“I… we were going to the lake,” Amelia explains, trying to move her chair around as Maya stands up, her arms out wide as she tries to balance but falls over again, her hands coming out to brace herself but sliding in the mud. “Oh, God, Maya!” Amelia shouts, but it ends with her chuckles.
I laugh and pull Maya up into a standing position. “What are you two doing out here in the woods all by yourselves? It’s thick mud.”
“I told her we should take the cart!” Maya shouts, trying to wipe her mud-caked face off.
Turning my face toward Amelia, I raise a brow, ready to admonish her but she cuts me off. “I wanted to pretend I was hiking, sue me—wait, no, you could actually do that.”
Considering Maya has her face caked in mud, she’s still smiling. I watch as she and Amelia look at each other and burst out laughing all over again. “You should see your face!” Amelia exclaims, pointing at her. “We could totally be YouTube sensations if I would have recorded that.”
Seeing them interact like they’re the best of friends has me grinning from ear to ear and I lean down to wipe a stray piece of mud off of Amelia’s cheek. She turns toward me, her eyes shining with happiness. “God, you’re beautiful.” She closes her eyes briefly and when she opens them and our gazes clash, I find myself blurting out, “Marry me.”
I hear Maya squeal a little but I don’t move my focus away from Amelia, afraid I’ve scared her off.
“What?” A
melia gasps, her hand fluttering to her chest and resting over her heart.
“I’ve been waiting for the right time to ask but I’ve just realized: there’s is no ‘right time’ with us. Only now.” I pause, my eyes flitting between hers. “I want there to be a million nows with you by my side.”
“Oh my God,” she whispers, a tear escaping from her eye, her lips lifting into the most blinding smile I’ve ever seen. “Yes.” One word that means more to me than any other word has ever meant. “A million times, yes.”
“She said yes!” Maya squeals.
“Yeah, she did,” I say softly before kissing my fiancée; a kiss that means so much more knowing she’s going to be mine forever.
The kiss is over before I know it and when I move closer to continue, she pulls back, her gaze moving behind me and I realize Maya’s still here.
“I’ll erm…” Her wide eyes watch me for a beat before she says, “You know, I think I’ll go take a shower and then meet… a friend; I’m suddenly craving a burger.”
Standing up straight, I frown at the way she says friend. “Friend? What friend?”
“You do that, Maya,” Amelia interrupts, waving her hand at her to bend down, and when Maya does, she whispers something in her ear I can’t hear.
“Laters, sis,” Maya says when she pulls back. “I’m so happy for you guys!”
The grin on Amelia’s face gets even wider at her words, and I’m about to ask who she’s meeting again, but Amelia’s hand takes hold of mine, distracting me as Maya walks back toward the house.
“Curfew is eleven!” I shout, being rewarded with a wave before she disappears from view.
“So… fiancé.” I turn my face down to Amelia, loving the way the word sounds coming out of her mouth. “Normally you have a ring when you propose.”
“I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: when have I ever done things the same as everyone else?”
Fighting Our Way (Broken Tracks Series Book 2) Page 42