He presses his hand to the small of my back and walks me to his truck, opening the door for me. It’s such a boyfriend move, and it pisses me off. He’s not helping to resolve the confusion between my brain and my heart.
“I’m sorry, Ness,” he says once we’re on the main road. “I should have told you what happened with Alexis. I thought I could ignore it, that it wouldn’t affect us, but I was wrong. I don’t want to hide anything from you.” He glances at me, and damn my heart, it beats faster.
My brain is firing all sorts of lovey-dovey messages at the sincere look in his eyes. Which means I’m in trouble. Brain and heart can’t be on the same page if I’m to put an end to what can only be a painful, one-sided relationship.
“There’s nothing you can say that will make me change my mind, Zach. Even if it was just a kiss, you told me it was over with that woman, and it clearly isn’t.” I don’t care how much I want to be with him, I won’t put up with that crap.
“You don’t know the whole story. I pushed her away as soon as we were in her hotel room. I told her—again—that it was over.”
He lets out a deep sigh. “When I started seeing Alexis, I was young and vulnerable. I take responsibility for getting involved in something I knew wasn’t right. That relationship dragged on way too long, but I’m not feeding you a line when I say it’s over. For me, it is.”
He pulls into a driveway and turns off the engine, and I realize we’re in front of his house.
“Nessa—Alexis and anyone else I’ve been with are a part of my past. I want you to be my future. I don’t deserve you, but I want you. What you saw tonight was Alexis not taking no for an answer. I’ve convinced her she needs to. And if she doesn’t, I’ll go to the police because I’m tired of her shit.”
“What are you talking about?”
“The only reason I went to Alexis’s room earlier was to get answers about my mom’s accident. I’d just learned that she’d been there when my mom fell. But Alexis did what she always does and took advantage of the situation. I’ve known her most of my life, and I never want to see her again. That’s the truth.”
He pushes out a sigh. “From the moment you and I kissed, Ness, I considered you mine. I’ve always considered you mine. Almost planted a facer on that Sal guy for trying to date you.”
“That’s not what Sal—”
“Yes, it was. Trust me, I know how guys think. And if any man has even a fraction of the feelings I do for you, he’d be trying to lock it in. I know that doesn’t make sense, considering I never did anything about my feelings, but no matter what, you’ve had my heart. I was just too afraid of fucking things up to do anything about it. I wasted a lot of time, but I love you, Nessa. I’ve been in love with you for a long time. You’re the most beautiful person in my life. Please—Christ”—he tilts his head back in anguish—“please give us another chance.”
I’m not happy he waited so long. Not happy about this Alexis woman trying to cling to him. But for once, my head and heart are in perfect agreement.
I reach for him, and he grabs my waist and pulls me close, hugging me as tight as he can despite the armrest between us.
He kisses my face, the lids of my eyes. “I’m sorry, I should have told you sooner what happened tonight. Should have told you everything. Just didn’t want to lose you.”
I pull back. “You keep saying you don’t deserve me, but you deserve happiness, Zach, even if it’s with someone else. But I’m happy you chose me.” I smile, and he kisses me deep and handsy, just the way I like it with him.
“I’ll always choose you,” he murmurs between kisses.
“I love you too, but crappers, you made me wait a long time to be together.”
I feel his face break into a smile against my neck. “You can punish me, beginning now. Just as long as we’re together.”
He raises his head and kisses me until I can’t breathe. I don’t even want to. Who needs oxygen for your brain when your heart has known all along what was right? Should never have doubted my heart.
My heart is a genius.
Chapter Ten
Deborah, the marketing manager at Blue Casino, along with Hayden, Mira’s boss, and Adam Cade, some executive from hospitality, sit behind a long table interviewing me for the marketing internship. I’d be nervous as hell too, if this interview wasn’t so entertaining.
“So, Nessa,” Hayden says. “You indicate in your résumé that you were in charge of social media for the university during your last year of college. Is that correct?” I nod, and she turns her back to Adam, her body angled toward Deborah. “Deborah and I have spoken about finding someone to help with the social media accounts. It’s a large job. That alone could take up the internship.”
“I’m used to social media. I had a system for keeping up with it for the university. I think I could handle it and still have time for other projects.”
Adam sits forward and leans his forearms on the table, nudging Hayden in the side and forcing her to scoot over. “Hospitality will be working closely with the marketing department this year. Efficiency with social media is key if the intern is to attend meetings and help facilitate communication between the two departments.”
Hayden’s mouth compresses. “Adam, this intern will not be answering to hospitality. Even if he or she did, they wouldn’t answer to you.”
Adam’s lips twitch. “Of course, Hayden. You’re the boss.”
Hayden’s eyes narrow on him.
Deborah glances at the two of them, then gives a subtle eye roll. “Adam makes a good point. At the pace our business runs, an intern who could help bridge the communication gap between departments would be an asset.”
Hayden squares her shoulders, bumping into Adam’s arm. But instead of moving and giving her space, he leans into her, his leg brushing against hers under the table.
Hayden’s face turns red.
The executives are so much more entertaining than the floor employees. This is like watching my smut television.
“Well, I think we have the information we need,” Deborah says, cutting into their nonverbal battle.
Hayden asks if I have any other questions, then wraps up the interview.
“How did it go?” Mira says when I walk into her office a few minutes later.
“I think it went well.” I raise my eyebrows, my face pulling into a wide grin.
“That’s an awfully cheerful look on your face. Was it that good?”
Now that Zach and I have been officially dating for the last couple of weeks, and there’s no more tension or uncertainty between us, it’s easy to laugh and find the humor in life.
I silently close the door and sit in the chair across from her desk. “The interview went really well, but—what’s the deal with Hayden and Adam?”
“Oh God, were they fighting?”
“Something like that. I’m not complaining, though, because watching them kept me from being nervous.”
Mira shakes her head. “They need to bone down already, but it’s taboo because she’s his boss and he’s got this stick up his ass, which leaves them—” She holds her fingers up in fake claws and makes a growling sound.
“Wow.”
Mira shrugs. “Exactly. They’re killing me. I’m trying to stay out of the line of fire.”
A light rap sounds at the door, and Hayden walks in a second later.
“Oh, hello, Nessa. I came to see Mira, but I’m glad you’re still here. Do you have a minute?”
“Of course.” I stand, wondering if I should offer her my seat. It’s the only other chair besides Mira’s. I settle for standing nervously.
“Well,” she says with a smile, “I spoke with my colleagues and—you got the internship. It was unanimous. We’re very excited to have you on board. In fact, Adam and Deborah are rather anxious for you to start. We’re backlogged up here and could use someone with your abilities.”
“Oh my gosh, thank you. And yes, lay it on me. I can start as soon you want.”
“Yes, no problem.”
Adam walks past the doorway, and I swear Hayden’s back straightens. As if she senses him, she glances over her shoulder, then smiles stiffly at us. “Wonderful. I’ll be in touch.” She walks off in the opposite direction.
Mira heads to the door and closes it behind her boss. “Oh my God, oh my God!”
“I got it,” I squeal, my cheeks cramping, I’m smiling so hard.
Zach
I don’t know why I’m nervous. I wasn’t the one with the job interview. But that’s my girl at Blue, sitting across from the bigwigs. I don’t want her to get hurt.
See—this is why I was afraid to take a risk with Nessa. I want to protect the hell out of her. And love her. Love her in my bed too, because damn, that’s fun. My mind drifts to last night and the position we pulled off in the hot tub. Gotta do that one again. Soon. The hot tub has become my new favorite place to spend time with Nessa.
I shake my head. All I do is think of my girl.
My girl. I like the ring of that. She’s mine and I’m hers and that’s all there is. I grin as I prepare the chicken for tacos tonight. Everyone’s coming over for our weekly dinner. No more sick girlfriends holding the boys back, and no work obligations. I have it on good authority that there are no Blue events tonight, so Mira has no reason to flake. Even Tyler wrapped up his book edits and will be here.
The whole gang is back together. It’ll be the first time we’ve hung out since Nessa and I became a couple.
Some of the guys have asked me what’s going on. They suspect things, especially after I picked up Nessa from Mira and Tyler’s place and never returned her. Never heard the end of that one from Mira. And while I don’t care who knows that Nessa and I are together, I don’t feel the need to go into details about how it came to be. Nessa’s the most important person to me. That’s all they need to know.
The door creaks open and I spin around. Nessa plops her purse on one of the living room chairs and walks over, giving me a big hug. “Mmm, you feel good,” she says.
She knows I’m dying to know what happened. She’s totally leaving me hanging, sassy little thing. I grab her ass. “Well? How’d it go?”
She reaches around and steals shredded cheese from the counter, stuffing it in her mouth. I watch as she chews, a wet, pink tongue swiping a small piece off her plump bottom lip.
I haul her closer. “You had better give me the abbreviated version, because watching you eat—it’s giving me ideas. We’ve got business to take care of before our friends arrive.” I waggle my eyebrows.
She reaches down and palms my erection. “I got it.”
My mind draws a blank. “Got it?” My erection. Yes, yes she does. I lean down and kiss the smooth skin of her neck. “What, babe? Me? Yup, but you already know that.”
She starts unfastening the row of buttons at the top of her white blouse, which is tucked into a narrow brown skirt that accentuates her beautiful curves. I pull out the hem of her top and work on her lower buttons.
“The internship,” she says.
I slide the shirt down her arms and toss it aside. “You got it?” She grins, and I squeeze her in a bear hug, careful not to hold her too tightly. My cutie is petite and I don’t want to hurt her. “Congratulations. Not that I doubted it. Of course you got the job. Who wouldn’t want you?”
She grins and leans toward my ear. “Now, where were we?” she whispers, and I feel her pulling my shirt up my back.
I jerk it over my head and quickly kick off my pants. I remove some belt thing she has cinched around her waist that’s probably the height of fashion, but looks like a samurai sash to me, and shove up her skirt, then lift her in my arms.
“Our friends will be here in half an hour, but you deserve lots of pleasuring for doing such a good job today, so we better hurry.”
She giggles and wraps her sexy legs around my waist as I run with her down the hallway to my bedroom. I leap and twist in midair, landing backward on the bed, Nessa on top.
“Ahhh!” she cries above me, her body bouncing—all the good parts, anyway.
I drag her mouth down and kiss her while my hand slides up her leg to the sweet spot I’ve been thinking about all afternoon. Damn, my girl is hot.
Nessa sits up and shimmies out of her panties, her skirt hiked around her waist. She tugs at my boxers. I lift my hips with her on top so she can get them down far enough. Cool air hits my erection, and then her soft, warm body covers me.
I groan. The perfection of her body against mine is something I will never get over. We fit together—we always have. In every possible way. I was just too afraid to reach for it.
As I consider the ways in which I love and want to love Nessa, my heart rate kicks up and pressure builds in my groin. As turned on as she makes me, this could be over in two minutes if I’m not careful—okay, one, if I’m being honest—but that’s not gonna happen.
I flip her over and inch down her body, unfastening the pretty lavender bra she hid, the bad girl, underneath her business top. I kiss one breast, then the other, my palms following the path of my mouth. I unbutton her skirt, consider taking it off, then decide it’s too much work and I’ve got places to be.
My eyes linger on her pretty legs and the part of her I consider my personal heaven. Holding the backs of her thighs, I push her legs up and lick her center.
She moans. I do it again and again, enjoying the little sounds she’s making, but it’s not enough. I want her out of her mind.
I insert a finger and find the spot I discovered the other day that she really likes.
Her breath hitches. “Zach,” she says, her voice breathy and sexy as hell.
I don’t stop. My mouth, my hands, are all over her, pleasuring and loving her until she cries out, her body convulsing, hands clamping a pillow over her face.
She tosses the pillow aside and blows a lock of hair out of her mouth. “Agaah… Can’t talk.”
I kiss the inside of her leg and inch back up her body. “No need. Just let me do the work.”
A wicked glint shines in her eye and she sits up, straddling my lap. Before I can figure out what position she’s going for, I’m inside her and she’s falling on me, my legs pinned beneath us. This might end in a hell of a leg cramp, but I’d rather lose a limb than stop.
I grab her ass and kiss the beautiful breasts that are bobbing in front of my face—the sexiest sight imaginable. As predicted, my release comes hard and fast, and if I’m not mistaken, she comes too, because I feel her milking me for everything I’m worth. And you know what? She can have it all. I want to give her everything and more.
Our breaths are uneven as I straighten my legs beneath us, Nessa still straddling me and nestled in my lap.
I roll to the side and take her with me.
She turns over and I spoon her from behind. I could easily pass out.
Nessa reaches back and slaps my ass. “No sleeping. They’ll be here soon.” She climbs out of bed, her cute little butt swishing on her way to the bathroom.
“Where are you going?” I croak.
“To shower, Zach. For real, you can’t fall asleep. You’re the one who feeds us.”
True; none of my friends can cook for shit. Gotta fix that. Putting a crimp in the alone time with my girl.
I may want to pass out, may not feel like getting up and feeding my friends, but you know what? It’s a good problem to have.
Nessa is my blue streak in the sky—that flash of lightning that knocked me off my feet when I first met her. I never thought I deserved her, but I do. I’ve finally grabbed on to her bright light, and there’s nothing better than sharing my life with her. Because I’m the guy who’s going to care for her and love her more than any man has ever loved a w
oman. I may piss her off from time to time, but I’m never going to give her a reason to doubt my devotion.
She has it—all of me.
Epilogue
Zach
I pull up to the small, brown, run-down dwelling near Nessa’s old apartment. Two front doors face the street, a pitched carport in the center separating the two units. “Well? What do you think?”
“It’s—” Nessa cocks her head, taking it in from another angle.
“A piece of shit,” I say for her. “But I’m going to fix it up. Don’t you think it has potential? With new paint and a little landscaping?”
So far, Alexis hasn’t tried to reach out to me since she kissed me in her hotel room, and I haven’t seen her at the casino. I think she’s finally taking me seriously, thank God. I don’t want to go to the police, but I will if she tries anything again. Now that I have Nessa, I just want to continue to build what we have together. Nothing’s ever felt more right.
Nessa smiles at me. “It’s awesome. And I’ll help. We’ll make remodeling it a project. In fact, I bet the gang will help too.”
Now, there’s an idea. About time my food-freeloading friends lifted a hand. They’ve been using my kitchen as their own for years. “I’ll call them this afternoon. Escrow closes in two weeks, and if we plan it right, we can get in and make the upgrades quickly. The faster I get the work done, the sooner I can get renters in.”
I have dreams of owning a few duplexes and making a living off the rent. That’s a little ways away, but this is a start. Owning land gives me the stability I crave, and working at Blue with Nessa while I build my empire means more time with her.
Blue is about to hire Nessa as a full-time employee in the marketing department. She’s only been there a few months, but she’s kicking ass so hard, they’ve already moved her from an intern to a part-time employee.
“Lewis has all that extra gravel lying around in his yard, now that his landscaping is finished,” Nessa says. “I wonder if he’d let you have the rest? Oh my gosh, and you could get Jaeger to make cute wooden shutters with pine trees cut into them. It’s going to be so adorable! We could even have a painting party.”
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