I think about you and Todd and Shawn and Erik a lot. I regret how my time in Newport went, especially since it was so short. I know I said some cruel things to you on the beach that one day, about Shawn. All I can say is that I don’t know why people die, and I don’t know how to deal with it. I wish I could find some peace to ease to all the pain in my life. My grandmother is sending me to a psychiatrist three days a week to work through some of these things, and she forbids me to go anywhere by myself.
Well, I didn’t intend for this to be a sad story about my horrid life. I wanted to let you know I appreciated your support, and I’d like to keep in touch with you. I wish my life were like yours—innocent and free, with a real family on a Wisconsin farm. Sounds pretend.
Well, please say hi to Todd for me. You are so lucky to have him.
Yours,
Alissa
Christy cried over the letter more than once. Being so far away from Alissa, all she could do was write her back. But she ended up throwing away every letter she started. She wanted to encourage Alissa somehow, to give her some hope. But she couldn’t find the right words. Everything sounded so phony.
Then there was the part about being so lucky to have Todd. That was a laugh! Christy didn’t have Todd. Nobody had Todd. Things with him were as up and down as ever. They saw each other all the time at the beach, but when things started looking up, Tracy would appear and Christy would take the backseat again. Plus, Todd had all his surfer friends, with whom Christy never managed to quite fit in. Some of them were pretty weird. A few too many conks on the head by a surfboard or something.
That very morning one of the guys had said, “Totally wasted!” when he came up from the water. He shook his head full of blond, curly hair so that the spray fell all over Christy. “Thrashin’, man! I was, like, totally eating blue chunks.” Then he stuck his board under his arm, mumbled, “Trash this,” and walked away.
Christy had turned to Tracy. “Was I having a conversation with him? I think I need an interpreter.”
“The waves aren’t any good. He’s going home,” Tracy said.
“Oh. I’m glad Todd doesn’t talk like that.” Christy looked out at the water, watching Todd skim the waves on his familiar orange surfboard.
“Todd kind of talks everybody’s language. He has his surfer friends, but then he hangs out with all the straight kids, too.”
“You know him pretty well, don’t you?” Christy ventured.
“I guess.”
It seemed strange to Christy that Tracy was always friendly. Christy had to work hard at maintaining her coolness toward Tracy because she was such a free spirit and so likable. Why didn’t Tracy fight harder for Todd’s attention?
Finally, Christy came right out and asked her, “Tracy, do you like Todd?”
“Todd? I love Todd.”
“Then why don’t you get jealous when he does things with other girls?” For good measure, Christy threw in, “Like tomorrow, for instance, he’s taking me to Disneyland for my birthday.”
“Oh, really?” Tracy remarked without a hint of envy. “I hope you have fun! Happy birthday, too, if I don’t see you tomorrow.”
“Thanks,” muttered Christy, not content to let her question go unanswered. “Doesn’t that bother you or anything?”
“No, not a bit. Todd and I have been friends since last summer. The same guy led us both to the Lord here on the beach.”
“What do you mean he ‘led’ you to the Lord?”
“I mean, he told us how to become Christians.”
“You mean how you’re supposed to ask forgiveness for your sins and ask Christ to come into your heart?” Christy asked.
“Exactly. Have you done that too?”
“No, I haven’t done that exactly, but I’m still a Christian,” Christy said.
“Well, I know this could sound harsh,” Tracy said, “but nobody can become a Christian by just being good. That’s why Christ died on—”
“I know all that!” Christy cut her off. “I don’t know why everyone has to talk about sin so much.”
“Because that’s what separates us from God. As long as we’re separated from Him, we’ll never be able to become the people He wants us to be.”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“Haven’t you ever felt guilty for stuff and wished you could unload it all and start fresh?”
Christy flashed back over the past week and all the guilt she felt over her behavior toward her aunt. “Yes. Of course.” Then she thought of Alissa’s letter.
“You don’t have to live with that. You can be free from all that junk if you ask forgiveness from God and ask Jesus to come into your life and be your Lord.”
Christy felt uncomfortable. She envied Tracy’s openness and the way she talked about God as though He were a close friend, not a distant, almighty power ready to strike whenever someone did something He didn’t like.
“You make it sound as though you and God are friends,” Christy said, beginning to let down her guard.
“We are. Best friends.”
“I don’t know. I always thought God was way up there, and I was way down here, and it was up to me to be a good person.”
While they talked, Todd came in from surfing. Playfully shaking himself like a wet dog, he sprayed water all over the girls, who squealed and laughed.
“Watch it! You’re dripping on my legs!” Christy protested. “It’ll leave those salt dots.”
“Salt dots, huh? There’s only one way to get rid of salt dots.” Todd got a mischievous gleam in his eye.
Christy shot a glance at Tracy, who nodded a quick yes to Todd. Before Christy realized what was happening, Todd grabbed her by both wrists, pulled her up, and started dragging her toward the water.
“No, no! I’ll go in by myself.”
As soon as Todd let go of her wrists, she ran in the other direction, laughing and looking behind to see if Todd was chasing her. Doug saw all the action and blocked Christy’s escape, grabbing her arm.
“Hold her!” Todd yelled.
Christy squealed, “No, no! Let me go!”
“Ready for a dip?” Todd asked, taking hold of her ankles.
“No! Stop, you guys!” Christy struggled, but with Doug holding her wrists and Todd holding her ankles, she couldn’t wiggle free. They lifted her and trotted down to the water’s edge.
“On three,” Todd commanded as they swung her over the foamy waves. “One, two, three!”
They let go, and Christy landed in about four feet of water with a mighty splash. Completely drenched, she rose to her feet and shouted, “I’m going to get you guys back! Just wait!”
Doug had jogged up to the dry sand. Todd remained at the shoreline.
“What’s that?” Todd said. “You want to go bodysurfing?” He high-stepped through the water to where Christy stood with her hands on her hips.
“Come on,” he shouted. “Dive under.”
Together they plunged beneath the oncoming wave. They swam out to where the waves were building, and for more than an hour they rode the surging water together.
Don’t let this day ever end, Christy thought as another wave lifted her, carried her, and exhilarated her. Please don’t let this feeling go away. Ever!
As Christy lay on her bed later, with Alissa’s letter still in her hand and the light fading in the room, she could feel the churning force of the ocean once more. And the exhilaration of not only riding the waves, but also of being with Todd. That was today. Who knew what tomorrow would be like with on-again-off-again Todd? Tomorrow. A day at Disneyland. With Todd. Would it be awful, like the concert, or wonderful, like the bodysurfing? Her thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door.
“Christy?” came Uncle Bob’s voice. “Telephone, hon. It’s your mom and dad.”
“Thanks, Uncle Bob,” she said as he handed her the cordless phone. It was a typical conversation with her parents. Her mom tried to slowly bring the topic around to the point she wanted to
make, but her dad cut in and jabbed the sharp words at Christy; “You need to come home Sunday.”
“Sunday!” she squawked. “You mean this Sunday?”
“Yes, this Sunday.”
“That’s only three days away! I’m supposed to stay here till the end of August.”
“Don’t make this any harder than it already is,” he barked gruffly. “Your vacation is over. Now. Don’t miss your plane.”
“But, Dad—” she began, but then she heard the click on the other end, indicating that he had hung up.
Her mom was still on the line, though. “I gave Bob all the flight information, honey. He said you’ve been having a wonderful time.”
“Mom, why do I have to come home?” Christy fought the tears with all her might.
“You just do, Christy. We’ll explain everything when you get here Sunday.”
Christy hung up the phone and slid under the covers on her bed, feeling cold all of a sudden. She wanted to cry, but the tears didn’t come. Everything seemed so pointless. She had to go home in three days, and she didn’t know why. Was it her dad’s farm? Were things going worse for them financially? Or was she the problem? Were her parents punishing her for something? What had she done? She had kept her promise; she hadn’t done anything she regretted. At least not yet. But she still had three more days, starting with her birthday tomorrow with Todd.
Her birthday. Neither of her parents had even said, “Happy birthday.” With that sharp realization came the tears. Bitter, salty, angry tears.
Todd showed up right at nine o’clock the next morning. Christy fumbled for her sandals.
“I can’t believe he’s on time!” she said in a panic to her aunt.
“I’ll go chat with him,” Marti offered. “Hurry along.”
Christy took one last look in the closet mirror. She loved this outfit. The denim shorts and peach-colored T-shirt were some of the new clothes from Aunt Marti, but she’d tried them on together only two days ago and decided they were the most comfortable of all her new clothes. If she was going to be shipwrecked on a tropical island, this is the outfit she’d want to be wearing.
Disneyland may not exactly be the same as a tropical adventure, but Christy felt as if she were going into parts unknown. She would never again have this kind of freedom. When she returned to Wisconsin her parents would clamp down on everything—makeup, dating, clothes, curfews. She had better enjoy it all now, while she had the chance.
She took the stairs lightly and greeted Todd with a confident “Hi!” Todd looked like his usual casual self in his shorts and white T-shirt.
“You two have a marvelous time!” Aunt Marti grinned approvingly.
“When do you think you’ll be home?” Bob asked.
“When do you want Christy back, sir?” Todd asked.
“Make a day of it, kids.” Bob waved his hand in the air. “We won’t be worried unless it’s midnight and we haven’t heard from you.”
“Bye,” they both called out and walked toward Gus. Christy thought she was going to burst with excitement and anticipation. Then Todd opened the front door of the van, and there sat Tracy, like a rock.
“Hi!” Tracy greeted her. “Happy birthday!”
Christy lost it right then and there. “Is this your idea of a surprise present?” she snarled at Todd. “I didn’t think anybody else was going to Disneyland with us.”
“I’m just dropping her off at work,” Todd said calmly.
“Oh. I’m sorry,” Christy whispered, completely ashamed.
“That’s okay,” Tracy said reluctantly, then handed her a box. “Here. This is for you. Happy birthday.”
Todd drove to Hanson’s Parlor in silence.
Christy felt awful. Why did I have to go and ruin the whole day like that?
“You can open it whenever you want,” Tracy said, jumping out of the van. “I’m sorry I upset you. I wasn’t trying to.”
“I know, Tracy,” Christy said, moving up to the front passenger seat. “I was just being a jerk. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t worry about it.” Tracy’s bounce returned. “I hope you guys have a really fun time! Think of me as I slave over gallons of ice cream all day.”
They drove in silence for a few miles before Christy looked over at Todd. His teeth were clenched, which made his jaw look even more solid and manly.
“You okay?” she asked quietly.
“Not really.”
“Is it because of how I acted with Tracy?”
“No, that’s something between the two of you. Tracy doesn’t have a problem with me spending the day with you. I’m not sure why you have a problem with me taking her to work.”
“I don’t. I guess I’m jealous of her in some ways.”
“There’s no reason to be. She’s about the most loving, caring person you’ll ever meet.”
She looked at Tracy’s gift, which she still held in her lap. “I wonder if I should open this now.”
“Sure. Go ahead. I already know what it is. I hope you like it.”
Christy read the card written in Tracy’s handwriting:
For Christy,
We hope this will help you understand everything we’ve been saying about the Lord. Happy Birthday!
Love,
Tracy and Todd
“This is from you, too?” Christy asked Todd, tearing off the paper.
“Yeah. I picked it out, but Tracy made the cover and wrapped it and everything.”
Christy pulled back the paper and lifted up a Bible. The cover was made from pink quilted fabric with tiny white flowers around the edges. Two white satin ribbons were attached as book markers.
“This is really nice, Todd. Thanks!” She secretly wished it had been something more personal. A Bible was something she imagined her Sunday school teacher giving her.
“Glad you like it,” he said, his smile returning. He stuck a Debbie Stevens tape in the tape deck, rolled down the window, and cranked up the volume.
Christy rolled her window down too, welcoming the breeze. She wanted to start this day all over and concentrate on the time she had with Todd. She wasn’t going to let today slip through her fingers the way their bike ride to Balboa Island had.
“Did I tell you I went surfing this morning?” Todd asked.
“This morning? You’re kidding! When?”
“About six-thirty. My dad woke me up when he left for work.”
“Were the waves any good?”
“Naw. Just ankle slappers. I hung out on my board for a while, but this whole thing with Shawn is really tearing me up. We used to get up early and go surfing.”
“Really? I never would have guessed. You guys are so different. Or, I mean were so different. Or whatever you’re supposed to say.”
“It’s okay; I know what you mean.”
They chatted easily, and within a short time, Todd pulled Gus into the Disneyland parking lot entrance and handed the parking lot attendant a fifty-dollar bill for the parking.
“Do you have anything smaller?” the attendant asked.
“Let me check.”
Christy watched as Todd peeled through a huge wad of bills until he came to a bunch of twenties.
Where did he get all the money? Maybe Disneyland is more expensive than I realized.
“Well, you ready for the Magic Kingdom?” Todd asked, locking up Gus.
Christy smiled.
“Good.” He stuffed his keys into his pocket. “I think it’s ready for you.”
Todd paid for their all-day passes at the front gate, and as they entered, Christy pointed to the flower garden that formed a picture of Mickey Mouse. “When I was little, I saw that on TV, and I tried to get my mom to plant our flowers to look like that!”
Todd laughed. “Did she?”
“No. I tried to do it myself with rocks and dirt clods, though. Didn’t turn out very well. I wish I had a camera with me. I’d take a picture of it.”
“I don’t think so, Christy,” Todd said, shaking
his head and grinning. “You don’t take a camera to Disneyland. Makes you look like those people over there—tourists.”
Todd pointed to a family on Main Street. The large mother and three pudgy kids were standing in front of a barber shop quartet, which was riding a bicycle built for four. The family members nearly hid the quartet. The father was bending backward in a hilarious position, apparently trying to get it all in his viewfinder. Todd and Christy looked at each other and muffled their laughter.
“Must be from the Midwest,” Todd teased.
“Hey!” Christy socked him in the arm. “Watch it. I’m from the Midwest.”
Todd shot her a sideways glance, his dimples showing as he suppressed a laugh. “I know.”
Then he held out his hand for Christy to take. “Come on. Let’s get on some rides.”
Christy slid her hand into his and felt a warm rush spread through her fingers, up her arm, and through her whole body. Don’t let go! Don’t ever, ever let go!
They waited in line for half an hour to go on the bobsleds. Todd said this was his favorite ride and they had to go on this one first. They talked and laughed and even struck up a conversation with the people in line behind them.
Todd stepped into the shiny, red bobsled first and slid all the way back, his legs pressed against the sides.
“Step in, please,” the ride attendant directed. He was dressed in green knickers and kneesocks. He looked like a goatherd.
“Where do I sit?” Christy asked.
“Here.” Todd patted the slice of seat right in front of him.
For a moment Christy thought she would never fit there. Then the attendant took her elbow and hurried her. She stepped in cautiously and wedged her body in.
“Am I squishing you?” she asked.
Suddenly the bobsled lurched forward and began its steep climb to the top of the Matterhorn.
“Relax,” Todd said. “It’s okay. You look like you’re about to jump out.”
“I’m thinking about it,” Christy admitted, cautiously leaning against Todd’s chest. He felt solid and warm and, oh, how she wished he would wrap his arms around her!
Christy Miller Collection, Vol 1 Page 12