by Asrai Devin
Friends.
"And now you're buying her kid a toy. Then you'll get her flowers." Well, yeah, he couldn't send them to her work since he didn't know which school she taught at.
"That means nothing, Mags."
"You haven't been in a serious relationship ever. Well, since Mandy."
He didn't want to talk about this in the middle of Wal-mart on a Thursday morning, while he was sober. It was more like a drunken Saturday conversation, when he felt lonely and vulnerable. "Mags, I have to get going. I don't want to stay in this store much longer than I have to. I was up at 4 AM and I need to get some sleep."
"Sneaking out of her house?"
"No, getting her coffee and doughnuts to surprise her since she thought I'd left town."
"Nice. Good luck with dinner tonight."
"Don't tell Mom."
"I'll think about it." Before he could beg, the call ended.
"Son of a bitch," He stomped off to find the Lego aisle. He grabbed a box of it and went to the front to pay. He grabbed an early lunch at the food court before he returned to his hotel room to have a nap.
Now he stood on her front porch, trying to juggle the flowers, a bunch of yellow tulips, her favorite if he remembered correctly, the Lego box, a boxed cake, and a bottle of wine. The door flew open before he could knock and he faced with a small boy. "He's here," Colton yelled.
"Colton, say hi and let him in. It's cold out," Mandy directed from the kitchen.
"Hello, Mr. Turner. Come in." The line sounded rehearsed.
"Thanks Colton. You can call me Kip."
"He said I could call him Kip," Colton said, already leaving the entryway, leaving Kip alone.
"I heard," Mandy said. She popped her head around the corner, wiping her hands on a towel. She smiled when she noticed he was standing helplessly, his arms full of things. "Sorry, let me help you. And hi."
"Evening," he said. She reached out and took the things from him. She stopped in mid movement when she realized what he held. "Thank you."
"And I'd be thankful if you took some things from me, so I can shut the door," he said, with laughter in his voice.
She took the flowers, the box and the bag containing the wine. She put the bag to the side and stuck her nose in the flowers. "Thank you," she said again.
He stepped closer to her and kissed her cheek. "Thank you for having me," he said in a low voice. "I thought after my impertinence this morning you'd kick me out."
"If you recall, I participated whole heartedly in that." She didn't make any attempt to move away.
"Yes you were. Still." He looked over her shoulder toward the kitchen.
"That was awkward. And I had to answer some questions. We'll talk about that all later tonight, okay? Let's enjoy dinner." She held the box so she could look at it. "Kip you really didn't have to do this."
"I know. But I wanted to. I thought." He busied himself taking off his shoes while he searched for the right word. "It would be a nice introduction for him and I."
"He'll be impressed," she said, still looking at the box.
"I had to call Maggie for advice."
"Did you tell her about me?" He nodded. "Is she going to tell your Mom?"
"I begged her, nearly literally, she hung up before I got on my knees, not to tell."
Mandy let out a sigh. "If she tells your Mom, she'll tell mine. The last thing I need is my mom to find out."
"I know. We grew up in the same town right? We have the same mothers."
"Nearly. Except," Mandy shook her head. She shoved the box back at him.
He stopped her with a hand on her shoulder and leaned in to whisper. "I didn't mean to bring up those memories."
"It's not your fault. I should be over stupid shit, er, stuff, like that."
He kissed her ear softly then let her go. Not the first time in recent memory he'd stuck his foot in his mouth.
She had willing kissed him back? What should he read into that? Would more kissing follow? Or would she tell him it could never happen again? Once upon a time he could read her mind. He wished that he knew her that well again. Of course that Mandy didn't have the confidence that this new Mandy did, and to go back would be a crying shame, he thought as he followed her into the house.
* * * *
Mandy sat on the sofa while she watched Colton and Kip playing with the Lego set Kip had brought. She smiled as she leaned on her elbow. This felt real, like a family. Occasionally, one of them would look at her and smile. Then they would go back to building.
She was thankful that Kip was interested, or at least feigned interest in the set. It was only a general set and the boys had set about to make a police station and some police cars, as illustrated in the accompanying papers. She was not very good at making her imagined creations turn into something real, and Colton had stopped asking her play Lego some time ago.
While she enjoyed watching them work together, she found herself impatient for Colton's bedtime. She wanted to talk to Kip about everything. He'd asked her point blank in the restaurant if she had any regrets; she would ask him point blank if this was turning into something. If it were a fling, then she couldn't go on. She couldn't subject her son to it. What if it became something more?
She didn't know. Did she want something with Kip again? He still played hockey for a living. Would he get traded and move again? Would he ask her to go again? Would she turn him down if he asked her? Would he even ask her to go this time?
Slow the fuck down. Yesterday they shared their first kiss in eleven years. That was a long way from moving to a different city. And she had no idea what his career plans were. They had much ground to cover between tonight and well, who knows. Maybe he'd tell her that it was only a kiss, it hadn't meant anything, he would return to his life in Calgary, and he'd talk to her on Facebook from time to time.
She blinked, realizing that Kip was staring at her. He raised his eyebrows in question. She shook her head in reply. She glanced at the clock then back at him, hoping he'd get the picture. He smiled and turned to answer Colton's question.
Sooner than she hoped, Colton did go to bed. Her courage to be direct waned by the minute. She kissed Colton's forehead, gaining the usual "Mo-om." She realized she had to be strong for him. She couldn't bring another man into his life only to have him leave again. It was enough that his father was a loser. She wouldn't be too.
She squared her shoulders on return to the living room. Kip had refilled her wineglass and it sat on the coffee table, near her spot. He sat at the other end of the sofa. "Thank you for playing with him all evening. And for the Lego. He loves it and I am terrible with it."
"I had fun." He smiled genuinely. He'd really enjoyed intricately putting the pieces together while he hung out with Colton. Good sign of things to come. At least she could hope. "And I know you are terrible. He told me about some of your creations when you were doing the dishes." They paused to sip their wine. "Thank you for making supper and doing the dishes."
"It wasn't much. I don't do much."
"No it was great. I don't get many home cooked meals. Not home enough to manage to keep food in my fridge."
They lapsed into silence, drinking and looking at her coffee table. The furniture was unremarkable.
"So ..." they spoke at the same time. Nervous laughter. Did they share the same question?
"The kiss?" she offered.
"The kiss." It fell between them, the memory of it, the implications.
Mandy quirked her mouth to the side. "Here it is. What do you want? To be friends. Do you want more? I don't want to fuck around here. Colton really likes you, but it's hard." She sighed.
"I know. He explained about his dad being gone. I didn't ask, I promise. I don't want to screw around with him either. Or you." Kip too his turn to sigh. "Look, Mandy. I didn't come here with the intention to kiss you. I thought we'd have supper, catch up and see that we had made the best decisions for us."
"That was my plan. Well. I wasn't sure if I regrett
ed what we did."
"I know. We aren't the same people we left behind. But it's obvious there are still, we are still compatible. Kissing you was like, nothing had changed. It feels like that with you."
Mandy's body twitched, anticipating a move closer to him. "It was amazing. Let's leave it at that. Do we want to find out where this goes Kip? Can we have a relationship? You're on the road a lot. And I have my life here."
"Any relationship has it's struggles. Let's not set anything in stone tonight. Let's be friends for a few weeks, months. I can wait. We've been waiting this long."
She nodded. "Yeah."
He opened his arms to her. "Come here, cuddle with me. Mandy I've spent eleven lonely years apart from you. More than I missed the physical stuff, I missed my best friend."
Mandy hesitated, but he looked solid and comforting that she moved easily into him. She laid her head on his chest, her body tuned into his breathing. His heart beat steadily into her ear. He felt rock solid, as always. "I missed you, too."
They sat in silence for a long time, enjoying a moment of being together. "I never told you this. I knew you lied about doing badly in math."
He laughed and kissed the top of her head. "If you knew why didn't you say something to me back then?"
She looked at him. "Because, I was stupidly shy and you were, like, the most popular boy in school. What was I going to do? Call you a liar? You?" She shook her head against his chest. "I was so scared that day you came to me and asked for my notes."
"Now that part was true. I had missed class and a quiz was coming up and if I failed I wouldn't be able to play ball. But I was right behind you in scores, I checked."
"You did not. I was totally geeky and shy. I hardly had any friends."
"You were beautiful. And brilliant, I'd heard from other friends who were in your English and social classes. I had to meet you. I was so cocky, I knew I had to have you."
"I used to daydream that you'd come and talk to me. I spent a lot of time in boring classes and spares thinking about you. I'd go to hockey or basketball games only to watch you."
"Do you watch my games now?"
"I always check the stats. Sometimes I watch. Sometimes it was too hard."
They fell quiet again for a while. Kip shifted under her. "I have to go soon. I have practice tomorrow. Games, travel. I'm always so busy."
"I know. I'll watch. We'll watch now," she said. "You have Colton interested. And his new best friend Mark is a big fan. Oilers."
Kip laughed. "He's a good kid. It will be strange being out there, knowing you are watching. If you see me wave, that's for you."
Mandy smiled. "Will you call?"
"Make you a deal. I'll send you my phone number. It's always ten times the cost to call from a hotel. I'll pay for your phone bill when I get home."
She looked at him. "Sure. I will call when you are on the road."
"I can't anymore. I have to kiss you." He bent his head, giving her a chance to deny him. She didn't, she arched for him. She savoured the moment of utter sweetness when their lips touched. But it turned to undeniable passion.
Mouths opened, accepting. Tongues swirled. Again she turned to liquid heat in his arms. Again she wanted to beg for more. She twisted her body into his lap, pressing to be closer. Her hands ran through his hair, over his shoulders to his chest.
God he was all muscle. She had to touch him. She let her fingers in under the bottom of his shirt to touch his warm skin, stretched over his muscles.
He kept one hand firmly on her shoulder, while the other massaged her scalp. It was a testament to his will when he kept his word to move slowly. She was relieved, because first, she obviously had little self-control and secondly, if he touched her bare skin she would go up in flames and he would be going home much later than planned.
He broke off the kiss, moving his lips to her neck and ear. His breath was hot and damp on her skin. When he licked behind her earlobe she shivered and giggled. "Stop," she whispered. "That tickles."
"I know," he said, doing it again. Then he nibbled his way to that spot on her neck that always made her melt.
"It's so strange. To have someone who knows all the spots that make me react."
He laughed against her skin. "I have to stop though. I can't continue to do this without breaking the slow rule."
She lifted herself from his lap. "I know. I realized that I have no self-control."
He held her in his lap. He brushed his lips across hers once more. "Going slow will be very difficult."
"I know. But you have a job and I have to be a mom."
"And a teacher."
"That too." She leaned forward and kissed him softly again. "We will figure out a routine. I'll figure out a way to, you know, be alone too. Colton does sleep away at friends sometimes."
"It's okay," he said.
"You can't be too understanding or I won't believe you are real." They shared a few more kisses before Kip moved her off his lap.
"You have my cell number," he said. "Call and leave a message anytime. And with numbers and stuff and we'll do this." They stood at the doorway.
"Thanks," she said. He bent and kissed her again. "Thank you for the car, too. I appreciate it."
"Let me know what's going on with your car too. Don't worry about it if you have to keep it longer."
"I won't. Promise. Good night Kip." He kissed her once more. Then went out the door. Mandy waited until his truck was out of the driveway, before she closed and locked the door. She brushed her teeth slowly, shut off all the lights. When she lay in her very empty, very cold bed, she let herself cry for a very long time.
Chapter 8
Mandy parked in the driveway as Kip instructed. She checked the address again. It was the one he'd given her. She took a deep breath then turned and looked at Colton in the back seat. "We're here Cole." He was busy playing his video game. He did hear her, because he opened his door and got out, without even pausing the game.
Shaking her head, Mandy exited the car. Her heart beat double time. Instead of focusing on her nerves, she turned her attention to the house. Fuck it was huge. The garage alone looked like it was the size of her house, square footage wise. Mandy sucked in a breath of cool air. Colton was already up the front steps, so she followed him. She was only on the second step when the door opened.
Kip stood on the other side of the door. He looked like an excited schoolboy. Mandy's heart did a backflip in her chest. He hustled them in the house, giving her a one-armed hug. "Hi guys. How are you?"
"Hi Kip. Good, the drive was good." When Colton stood there pushing buttons frantically, Mandy felt her annoyance rise. "Colton, pause, say hi and take off your boots before you step off this mat."
Colton glared at her. Then he looked at Kip with a big smile. "Hi Kip. I brought my Lego."
Kip, to his credit, didn't blink. He rubbed Colton's hair. "Sounds good buddy. Make yourselves at home."
Colton looked at Mandy as he took off his boots. "Can I play now?"
Mandy nodded. "Yeah. Go find a place to sit."
"I'll show him where," Kip said. Colton followed Kip, which left Mandy alone in the entryway. All she could see was neutral painted walls, as if they had been painted yesterday. A light hardwood floor covered the three steps and went around a corner. To her right was a closet. Mandy took off her boots and opened the closet. Coats. She put her and Colton's shoes inside then worked on hanging her jacket.
Kip returned holding Colton's coat. "Thanks," Mandy reached for it. The weariness of travel and a workweek hit her as she stood there.
He held it out of her reach. "I'll do it. You are my guest." He pulled her against him. "Colton told me I could kiss you, as long as he can't see." He kissed her cheek.
Mandy snorted. "It's been a long week."
Kip let her go and hung the jacket. "Relax, please. I've only been living in this house for a few months. And I'm hardly ever home. That's why it looks perfect still. I wish someone would make it look lived
in."
"I'll try. God, it's so gorgeous." She touched the smooth wall tentatively.
"Did you eat?"
"We grabbed some fast food. I hope you didn't wait for us."
He shook his head. "I snack a lot." They stood there in the entry way, gazing at each other. "Come here. I've missed you." He pulled her into his arms.
Mandy nuzzled his shoulder. "I missed you too. It's not quite the same. The calls." It had been nearly two weeks since that kiss. Meanwhile, they talked on the phone nearly every night.
"Yeah it kind of sucks."
"We should get up there. He might come looking for us."
Kip laughed and let her go, except her hand. "I got some movies and stuff. And oh, popcorn. And other junk food."
He was so cute. So sweet. How could she not love him? He stopped to pull her up the stairs. "We should bring your bags in first. Scratch that, I should bring in your bags." He let go of her hand. "Give me your keys. I'll show you around after I get your stuff in."
Mandy thought about arguing but it wasn't worth it. "Kiss me first," she told him. He gave her a swift brush of his lips over hers. She handed over her keys and he went out the door, while she climbed the stairs.
The same hardwood covered the house. A large rug covered the hardwood floor in the centre of the living room, where Colton hunkered down, still tapping buttons. He sat on a large dark leather sofa. The matching love seat was perpendicular to it. And a lazy boy was nearest the television. And holy shit, that was the biggest TV she'd ever seen outside a store. "Isn't it cool Mom?" Colton asked. "He's got a Wii and an X-box and he said if he didn't have any games you'd let me play we could go get some."
Mandy forced herself to smile. Colton would get spoiled. "It's very cool, Colton. Please be careful with things. Kip is a very generous host."
Colton wrinkled his nose. "Mark is very jealous that I get to go to a game. He's never been to a game. Sometime can he come with us, please?"