"Don't get me started or we will never leave this bed," I whispered, kissing her shoulder.
She wiggled against me again and giggled. "Maybe just once more?" she whimpered.
I turned her head a bit and kissed her, my tongue brushing through her mouth. As much as I wished we could, we would be late if we didn't get up now, and I was pretty sure Addie had mentioned that there were more guests coming today. "Perhaps the shower?" I murmured, kissing her ear.
I walked into the bedroom behind her and wrapped my arms around her towel cladded body. She pulled out of my arms and crossed the room holding the towel against herself. There was something weighing on my mind that I wanted to clear before we made our way home. She glanced over her shoulder at me and smiled. "What's on your mind?"
"Nothing?" I lied.
"Austin, I have known you for years. What’s on your mind?"
She was right. There was no hiding anything from her. She probably knew every expression I had. I sat down and cleared my throat. "Before we do anything else, I wanted to talk to you about something."
She nodded. "There is something I wanted to talk to you about as well."
"You go first," I urged, watching as she reached for her T-shirt and quickly threw it over her head, covering her body from me.
She turned around, and I noticed she was almost afraid to look at me. Something serious was weighing on her mind, and I swallowed hard, waiting to hear what she had to say.
"Austin, as much fun as I've had, and as amazing as these last couple days were, you know this can't go on past this weekend, right? I mean, your sister..."
"Kristy, whoa, wait a minute."
"She's my best friend, Austin. What am I supposed to tell her? That, oh, by the way, your brother showed up and we spent the weekend fucking each other’s brains out." I could see the panic building in her.
"Kristy, slow down." I stood up and ran my hand through my hair, grabbing my jeans off the chair in the corner and stepping into them. "I really don't think you or I have to tell her anything. It's none of her business anyways."
"Do I need to remind you who your sister is? This is Addie we are talking about, right? A girl who the second you try to keep a secret from will pry deeper than anyone I know to get the answer."
Kristy was right. Addie never really knew her place. Hell, I already knew that Kristy would never have been here without Addie's permission, so she would already be skeptical that something had gone on between us. I knew the second I got home I would be grilled about the entire weekend, and if she didn't get a satisfactory answer from me, she would be all over Kristy. Throwing my shirt over my head, I ran my fingers through my hair again, thinking of what we should do.
"So we don't tell her. Either of us. We keep it on the quiet side. We keep it just between us."
"How will we do that? What are you going to do, lie to her every time you leave the house? She will be all over you. Hell, she will be all over the pair of us when we get home thinking that something happened between us."
"How about you let me worry about that. I've dealt with Addie my entire life. If I tell her to drop something, she normally does."
"I don't know, Austin." Kristy straightened the covers on the bed and gave me a worried look.
I didn't want to be angry or hurt, but that was exactly how I was beginning to feel in the moment. I didn't want to have this entire weekend wiped away in thirty seconds. I was ready for more. I was ready to move on with my life. I'd spent the last year and half feeling completely dead inside, first at the fact my wife was gone, and then at the fact that my wife had been in bed with some other guy moments before I was called to her accident scene. I was done with that part of my life. There was so much more waiting for me, and I knew it started with this weekend, with Kristy.
I glanced over at her. She was rooting through her bag looking for something. I couldn't let her worry like she was. I walked up behind her and wrapped my arms around her. "Was it not good for you?" I whispered in her ear. Did I sound insecure? Yes. Did I care? No.
She rested her head back against my chest. "My God, Austin, are you serious? It was amazing, mind blowing. In case you didn't notice, I did come three, no, four times just this morning alone."
"Oh, I noticed." I turned her around and held her in my arms. She still wouldn't look at me. Placing my finger under her chin, I lifted her head until she met my eyes. "Then be with me. Just us, no one else," I pleaded quietly. "Let's just see where we can take this. Give us a little time to explore the possibility of there even being an us." I could tell the thoughts were swirling around her in mind as she looked deep into my eyes. "Just between us."
She smiled. "So, I'd be like your little secret?"
I nodded, my hands gripping her waist. "My secret. If we don't work then we agree to go our separate ways. No hard feelings."
"What will we tell Addie?"
"Leave it with me. I will figure out something. I promise it will stay between us for a while."
I swore she was torturing me with all these questions, and then she leaned in and pressed her lips against mine, sending a wave through my body. "Okay," she whispered against my lips.
"Okay?" I looked down into her eyes, a playful stare looking back at me.
"Okay." She smiled up at me.
11
Kristy
The second I'd said yes, Austin picked me up. I wrapped my legs around his waist and we'd had a quick round against the wall, until I was screaming out his name once again. Exhausted and breathless, he placed me on the floor and waited to let go of me until he was sure I had regained my composure.
We took our time packing up and loading our things into our respective vehicles. Then we took a quick walk down to the lake before we made our way home. Despite my worries about Addie and hiding things from her, I was surprised at how everything felt so right with him. I was even more afraid that things may not continue down this path once we returned to our normal lives. Regardless, we walked hand in hand back from the lake. Austin opened my car door for me, waiting for me to climb in.
"Have you got everything?"
I nodded, smiling up at him. "I might have even snagged all the goodies from the basket in the bedroom." I could feel my cheeks heat at what I had just revealed to him.
"I'll follow you home." He chuckled, leaning in and brushing my lips with his. "That might make for some fun times later," he said, raising his eyebrows in jest.
I watched through the rear-view mirror as he climbed into his truck.
I flipped the radio on and found a station that was just starting to play some Christmas music. As I drove, I found that I was soon belting out tunes, but the closer we got to home and to my apartment, the more an uneasy feeling crept into me. My stomach was in knots. I already knew why. It was the same reason as always. It didn't matter how badly I wanted things to work between us, these things never worked for me. Just look at Tom and me, or Jim, or Gabe, or Mack. Seriously, the list could go on, but they had all ended the same way: with me getting extremely hurt and taking months—even years—to recover and trust again. Would Austin do the same? Would Austin become a huge mistake and our friendship be ruined because of this? That thought alone sickened me.
I turned the radio up to try and drown out my thoughts as I went through the movie reel of all my ex-boyfriends and why those relationships never worked. Maybe I shouldn't have said yes. Maybe I shouldn't have built his hopes up, because if I got hurt, he would probably be crushed, and I wasn't sure I could handle having that possibility on my conscience. Plus, Addie would hate me for good, especially if I broke his heart.
It felt like the longest drive back to the city, and I was never so happy to see my apartment building on the corner. I pulled into the parking lot, cut the engine, and climbed out of the car. I figured Austin would just follow me here and head home, but the second I turned around to head to the trunk, I saw his truck pulled in behind me. My stomach was still turning.
Leaving his truck id
ling, he jumped out and walked over to me. I wondered if I should tell him now that I was having second thoughts or if I should just wait and see if they subsided.
"You're home." He smiled.
"I am. Thank you for following me here. You didn't have to. You’re on the other side of town, and I'm sure you are tired."
"I am, but it's all right. You're right off the highway, no big deal. The roads weren't the greatest either, and I wanted to make sure you didn't have any trouble." He smiled as he brushed a strand of hair from my face.
I smiled, looking down at the ground. "I should probably get inside, get my laundry going. Six comes early."
"All right. I'll call you later?"
"Sounds good." I swallowed. Everything felt so awkward between us now, or perhaps it was just me. I didn't know if I should hug him good-bye or kiss him or what. We were going to be a secret. What exactly did that even mean? I didn't know how to handle this, and it was starting to bother me. Perhaps it was the good-byes that were making me feel this way, or maybe it was me overreacting. I just stood there, not knowing what to do, praying he would take the lead.
"Do I get a good-bye hug?" he questioned, holding his arms open.
I stepped into him, and he wrapped his arms tightly around me. The sick feeling I'd been holding onto was gone instantly but returned the second he let me go. I already missed him, and I watched as he climbed up into his truck, waved, and then pulled away, leaving me standing in the parking lot.
I'd had a good cry once I had gotten inside, the sick feeling finally subsiding while I put the first load of laundry into the machine. I quickly jumped into the shower, and once I was all cozy in my sweats, I went to the fridge to find something to eat. A quick rummage through proved pointless, so I placed an order for Thai food from the little restaurant on the corner, Thai Bay. I wrote a quick list of groceries and decided that would be the first thing I did after work tomorrow.
After I ate and had put the leftovers in the fridge, I sat in the living room with a mug of tea debating on whether I should call Addie or not. I wanted to thank her for the cottage but, I was also afraid of the grilling questions I was sure I would receive. Once I decided I wouldn't call, a feeling of guilt crept up. My conscience getting the better part of me, I decided I would call, thank her, and be done with it. I grabbed the phone and was just about to dial when it let out a loud ring.
"Hello," I answered.
"Hey, Kristy! Finally, you’re home. How was your weekend?" Addie asked.
"It was good." I couldn't help but fear she would hear everything I was hiding in my voice.
"How did you enjoy the weekend?"
I let out a laugh. "You were right, it was exactly what I needed." I giggled, and Addie laughed, then we both got quiet.
"Did you meet anyone?"
Alarm bells rang in my head at her question. I wasn't a very good liar, and Addie had known me my entire life. She'd come to know when I was telling the truth and when I wasn't.
"Listen, Addie, I have to go. I have to get laundry started and I still need to eat. It's almost eight," I lied. "Plus, the super needs into my apartment to fix a leaking faucet I've been complaining about." I needed to get off the phone with her.
"I thought he was there last week to fix that?"
Shit, she was right. She had been here when he had come in. "Uh, you’re right, he was, but now the bathroom sink is leaking as well. I was sure I told you." I bit my bottom lip. She was going to know I was trying to get rid of her. She was going to know I was lying.
"Nope, you didn't. You still didn't answer my question though."
"What question?"
"What is wrong with you? Did you happen to meet anyone?"
"Oh," I laughed into the phone, "nope. I just stayed in the cabin the entire weekend."
"What?"
"You heard me. Listen, Addie, I really must get going. He's going to be here any minute, and I am wrapped in a towel."
"Okay, call me tomorrow!"
The second we said good-bye, I hung up the phone as fast as I could. The guilt started to creep over me. It was almost as if I were afraid she would be able to hear the thoughts in my head over the phone.
It was almost eleven thirty by the time I had folded and put away my last load of laundry and sank into my bed. I flipped the TV on in my bedroom and picked up my book off the nightstand. I needed to relax and calm my mind before I went to sleep. I had just gotten into a chapter when the phone rang.
I debated not answering it, fearing it may be Addie again. I don’t want to go through her inquisition, I thought to myself. She was probably calling to see if she could pry some more. Find out if the landlord did in fact arrive to fix the faucet. The phone continued ringing and, finally, I gave in and picked up after the fifth one.
"Hello."
"Hey," Austin's deep voice came over the phone. The instant I heard it, a warm feeling settled over me.
"Hey. I wasn't expecting to hear from you tonight."
"Well, I wasn't going to call, but then I'm pretty sure Addie already called you, and I wanted to make sure you were okay."
"I'm good," I said. I didn't want him to know that I was struggling with this.
"Good, I'm glad. I wanted to see if you'd like to go to dinner with me tomorrow night. It's my last night off before I start back to work."
I fiddled with the tattered bookmark that sat in my lap. It was too soon, and that would be way too public. I swallowed hard, my stomach starting to turn again at the thought of disappointing him.
"That would be nice, but that would be way too public." I felt awful at having to say that, but it was true. We couldn't keep us secret if we were seen out in town together on a date. Word would certainly get back to Addie.
"All right then, what about a movie?"
I looked around my bedroom, wondering what it would be like to have him here. As the idea settled in my mind, the truth became apparent: I was missing him more now than I thought I would. If this were last night, we would be cuddled up together in bed right now. Instead I was here alone.
"I think that would work."
"Okay, so I will see you tomorrow then. I will pick you up about eight?"
"Sounds good."
We said our good-byes and I stuck my nose back in my book. I couldn't concentrate, and soon I found myself lying in bed thinking about the weekend. About Austin. It was going to be a long day tomorrow, and the longer the thought settled into my brain, the more the anticipation built. I couldn't wait to see him.
12
Austin
* * *
It was the first time in months that the first thought on my mind when I woke up wasn't how my wife had been dicking around with some other guy the night she'd gotten killed. I was excited for tonight, at the thought of seeing Kristy. I had all day to plan our date tonight, and I was eager to get started.
I walked into the kitchen bright and early and poured myself a cup of coffee. I had just put the pot back down on the warming plate when I heard Addie clear her throat behind me.
* * *
"Well, well. How was your weekend?" When I had gotten home, both her and Phil were gone, so I threw my laundry in the machine, and then went down to the station and hung out with a couple of the guys. When I had gotten home, Addie was in bed and the house was in darkness, so I had slipped into bed and called Kristy.
* * *
"Good. It was nice to have time to myself."
* * *
Addie frowned. "What did you do?"
* * *
"I had a couple of drinks and some food in one of the pubs when I arrived. Then I spent Saturday hiking, then sat down by the lake for the afternoon," I said, sipping on my coffee and watching Addie's expression as she packed her lunch for work.
* * *
"I see. Did you run into anyone you know?" she questioned.
* * *
I smirked when she looked away and ran my hand over my face. I had to keep my composure and hide the
smile that was there at the thought of Kristy. "Nope, it was just me, all alone, in the woods." I shrugged.
* * *
"Oh, that's odd," she mumbled to herself.
* * *
"What's odd?" I asked, pretending I didn't know what she was talking about.
* * *
"Nothing, it's nothing. Okay, I've got to run or I will be late. You’ll be home when I get here?" She zipped up her lunch bag and threw that over her shoulder along with her purse.
* * *
"Nope, going out with some of the guys from work. I probably won't see you for a week or so. I start back tomorrow. I think I may even take my things and stay at the station tonight instead of coming back here."
* * *
"That's odd. You don't normally do that."
* * *
"I know, but we are going out tonight, so it may just be better to crash there instead, especially if we get drinking."
* * *
"Where are you going?"
* * *
"Greg wants to head to the next town over to a bar there, so we're going to make it a guys’ night."
* * *
I could see a skeptical look on Addie's face as she reached for her keys. I never participated in these nights and she knew it.
* * *
"Okay, well, be careful!" she yelled behind her as she walked out the back door.
* * *
All I Want for Christmas: A Contemporary Romance Holiday Collection Page 37