by Alison Jack
‘I'm sure that table's not level. Look, that one's fractionally turned at an angle; this one isn't…’
‘It all looks fine to me,’ said Dex, trying and failing to see what Alan was on about.
‘No, Dexter, look! It doesn't look straight to me.’
‘Nothing looks straight to you,’ replied Dex, starting to laugh and sitting himself down on the top table.
‘DON'T LEAN ON THAT!’ shrieked Alan, pushing Dex out of the way and smoothing an imaginary crease in the tablecloth. ‘If you're not going to help, Dex, then shoo! Scoot! Oh hello, Matty darling; is that the centrepiece for the top table?’ Taking the display from his daughter, Alan started arranging it this way then that way.
‘This could take a while,’ Matilda whispered to Dex, looking at her father. Alan was standing, hands on hips, regarding the top table with a frown. ‘I bet he's giving you a hard time, isn't he, Dexy babes? He's just sooo stressssed!’
‘I can deal with your dad's mood swings, don't you worry,’ replied Dex, grinning at Matilda.
‘And I can hear you two whispering about me,’ called Alan, still rearranging the centrepiece.
‘All nice things, Daddy dear,’ said Matilda. ‘Don't forget the wedding rehearsal's at four! Oh, and Dory's arrived.’ Not waiting for a reply, Matilda sprinted over to the pub. The wedding decorations forgotten for a moment, Alan and Dex rushed out on to the main street hoping for a glimpse of Theo. They were too late for that, Lord William already having ushered his family into the guesthouse, but Alan was rewarded with the sight of Theo's guitar being unloaded with the rest of the luggage.
‘There it is, Dex,’ he said reverently, patting Dex on the stomach and pointing. ‘The Les Paul…’
At four o'clock sharp, the wedding party filed into the church for the rehearsal. As the day was so warm no one was appropriately dressed for church. The bridesmaids in particular were more dressed for a summer's day than a solemn ceremony rehearsal: Abi had her very short shorts on, Matilda was sporting one of the micro miniskirts that Alan insisted were really belts, and Jenny was still in bikini and flip flops. Even the bride turned up in cut-off denim shorts and an AC/DC T-shirt, but the rehearsal went without a hitch nonetheless. Happy that everyone knew their duties for the following day, the vicar of Applethwaite released them all back into the sunshine with a smile. Alan immediately tried to make for the marquee, but was headed off by Georgie.
‘Enough tinkering, Alan,’ she said sternly. ‘I know you; you'll be changing things round all night if someone doesn't stop you.’
‘But Georgie…’
‘But nothing, Al! I'm the bride, and what I say goes. You are not to enter that tent again until the flowers arrive in the morning, or I will kick your shins. OK?’
‘OK,’ said Alan reluctantly.
‘Good man,’ said Georgie, giving Alan a hug. ‘Right, who's up for a game of rounders? Oh look, the Lorimers are here!’
Running over to greet Philip and Simone as they emerged from the inn, Georgie asked how their journey had been.
‘Busy,’ replied Philip. ‘Unfortunately we weren't able to take advantage of His Lordshit's police escort, and we got stuck in traffic God knows how many times. So nice to get here and freshen up.’
‘It's good to see you again,’ said Georgie honestly. ‘Jess saw you to your rooms OK, did she? Sorry not to be there to greet you personally; wedding rehearsal and all that jazz…’
‘Not a problem at all, Georgie; and yes, Dr Donatelli was there to show us to our rooms,’ replied Philip. ‘Is this a rounders match I see starting up? I love a spot of rounders…’
Looking out of his open window in the Applethwaite Guesthouse, Theo heard the shouts and laughter as the good-natured rounders match got underway on The White Lion's meadow. Totally overwhelmed by being back in Applethwaite, Theo found he actually wasn't sure what to do next. Much as he wanted to go over to The Lion and join in the fun, he wasn't sure His Lordship would let him just walk out the door. Catherine had kept him pleasantly occupied for the afternoon, but he could tell she was getting anxious to go over to The Lion and greet her parents. In a most uncharacteristic fit of indecisiveness, Theo looked helplessly from the window to the door and back to the window.
‘Theo, my love,’ said Catherine, emerging from the shower. ‘I really should go and see if my parents have arrived.’
Theo just nodded. Recognising that her usually confident boyfriend was unsure of how to deal with such an unfamiliar situation, Catherine took his hand and led him downstairs.
‘Theodore! Catherine!’ boomed Lord William from the bar. ‘Won't you join us for drinks?’
‘Cathie wants to go and meet her parents, Your Lordship,’ replied Theo, crossing his fingers behind Catherine's back.
‘Oh,’ said Lord William, his expression unreadable, ‘and I suppose you want to go with her?’
‘Yes, Your Lordship.’
‘I wouldn't mind a little walk round the village too,’ said Adam unexpectedly. ‘How about you, Rose?’
‘No, I bloody well don't want a little walk. I want a little drink, and then I want another one. It's the only way I'm going to survive this bloody weekend. You're getting so boring, Adam!’
‘I'd like to go too, Father,’ said Marina. ‘Please…’
‘That bloody inn's Unsponsored. I can't have you…’
‘We'll have to go in there for the wedding reception tomorrow, Your Lordship,’ interrupted Theo. ‘And also I thought we were supposed to be demonstrating to the Unsponsored that their rumours are a load of tosh.’
‘Oh very well,’ said Lord William, still in a remarkably good mood, ‘but you're not going without security. I shall stay here and keep Rosanna company; Fellows, Lomax, would you escort Lord Theodore and Lady Marina to that Unsponsored inn, please?’
‘I could escort them…’ began Stephen Dyer, suddenly appearing very close behind Theo and causing the young man to shudder with revulsion.
‘No, Stephen, I think you'd be better off here. No point upsetting the Farrells unnecessarily; you know how sensitive they are.’
Content with the idea that his mere presence could upset the Farrell family, Dyer shrank back into the shadows, sniggering.
‘Now then, Theodore, off you go! Lomax and Fellows will look after you; nothing to worry about. Don't be late now!’
Not giving Lord William any opportunity to change his mind, the supposedly agoraphobic Theo was out of the door like a shot; Adam, Catherine and Marina right behind him. None of them cared about Lomax and Fellows stomping along with them, particularly not Theo. Very shortly he'd be reunited with Louis, Abi, Cameron and all the people who'd been supporting him while he languished in his luxury prison. Wanting to savour the anticipation for a bit longer, Theo found himself hanging back when he arrived at the meadow.
‘Go on!’ he said to Catherine. ‘Go and see your parents! I'll be along shortly.’
Seeing Catherine approaching over the meadow, Dory's Avengers were disappointed to notice she was alone. Everyone was so looking forward to seeing Theo, but suspected it was unlikely that His Lordship would allow that to happen before the wedding. Standing unnoticed at the edge of the meadow, Theo, Marina and Adam watched the rounders match, where Louis was attempting to hit the ball without success. Eventually, Louis gave up and handed the bat to a young woman who was wearing the shortest skirt Theo had ever seen.
‘Wow!’ said Theo without thinking, staring open-mouthed at the stunning young woman going into bat.
‘Good job Catherine's not here, Theo old mate,’ said Adam, admiring the view as well and earning himself and Theo a dirty look from Marina.
‘Good job Rose isn't too,’ replied Theo, tearing his eyes away from the goddess for a second to laugh at Adam. ‘Being as you're doing a passable impression of King LEER yourself!’
Laughing, both the young men turned their attention back to the goddess who had just smashed the ball into the heavens and sprinted off, bat still in hand, t
o score a rounder. As she re-joined her cheering friends, arms held aloft, Lysander took the bat from her hands. Lysander, looking healthier and more relaxed than Theo had ever seen him look in London.
‘That's the Applethwaite effect,’ Theo murmured to himself as Lysander joked with the goddess, their words clearly audible as the breeze carried them over to Theo and company.
‘Nice one, Matty, but you're supposed to drop the bat.’
‘Chill, Lysander, chill. I got it all the way round and back to you didn't I? Come on, let's see what you're made of!’
Matilda handed the bat over to Lysander, who made clean contact with the ball but was caught out by Philip. Meanwhile, Theo's mind was churning.
‘Matty?’ he said to himself. ‘Lysander called the goddess Matty. Oh no, tell me that's not…’
‘Have you milked the anticipation enough yet, Theo?’ asked Marina, suddenly impatient. ‘Shall we go over and say hello?’
Smiling at his sister, Theo nodded. Baseball cap pulled low on his head and dark glasses on, Theo was determined to stay incognito for as long as possible. No one was paying much attention to the trio approaching as Abi went in to bat, hitting the ball well and scoring a rounder with ease. Gideon and the goddess were having a laugh together at Louis's expense.
‘I thought you'd be good at rounders, Louis…’ the goddess began.
‘I'm sure he would be,’ said Gideon, crying with laughter, ‘if he could see the bloody ball.’
‘Oh leave him alone, Gideon, you big bully!’ said Abi with a grin, running straight into Louis's arms. ‘Who's batting next anyway?’
‘May I?’ said a young man in a baseball cap and dark glasses, his accent that of someone who'd grown up at the higher end of the social scale. Not waiting for an answer, he loped over to the bat, picked it up and stood waiting for Cameron to bowl the ball his way.
‘Er, excuse me,’ said Cameron. ‘You're welcome to play, but…who are you?’
‘Goodness me,’ said Lysander, looking round at the baffled faces and starting to laugh. ‘I'd recognise that walk anywhere.’
Crossing over to the mystery batsman, Lysander removed his baseball cap and threw it, Frisbee style, at Cameron. ‘Honestly, Cam, don't you recognise your own cousin?’
Laughing loudly, Theo took off his dark glasses and just had time to wink at Cameron before Louis engulfed him in a bear hug.
‘I thought I knew that voice! HEY, EVERYBODY – THEO'S HOME!’
The rounders match disintegrated into pandemonium as everyone crowded forward to finally welcome Theo into their midst. Cameron dropped the ball he'd been about to bowl and collided with Abi as they tried to be the first to hug their cousin. Lysander picked Jenny up so she wouldn't be trampled in the mêlée, and carried her over to greet Theo. Chris ran over and hugged his nephew tightly, whispering, ‘Welcome home, Theo,’ in the young man's ear.
‘It's good to be home, Uncle Chris,’ said Theo, returning Chris's hug. ‘And congratulations for tomorrow.’
‘This is my fiancée, Georgia,’ Chris continued, pulling Georgie to his side.
‘Delighted to meet you,’ said Theo, turning his warm smile on Georgie. ‘I'm so glad to be here for your wedding.’
‘So are we, Theo,’ replied Georgie, returning his smile and hugging him briefly. ‘We won't keep you, there's a whole load more people waiting to greet you.’ Turning to Jess, Theo grabbed her in a warm embrace.
‘Good to see you, Jess. Beautiful as ever. I'd…er I mean…well, Marina and I would like to put some flowers on Uncle Elliot's grave if that's OK with you…?’
‘That's more than OK; that's a wonderful idea, Theo darling. I'm so happy to see you, all grown up! I always knew you'd grow up handsome. Oh my goodness, you're Isabelle's daughter without a doubt,’ Jess added, seeing Marina approaching with a big smile. Putting an arm round his little sister, Theo apologised to her.
‘Sorry, Mari, I've been rather hogging the limelight, haven't I? I don't get out much, you see…’
‘It's OK, Theo, I know, I know,’ replied Marina, laughing at her brother and cuffing him affectionately.
‘I hope Adam's been looking after you. Where is he anyway?’
‘Chatting up your goddess,’ said Marina tartly, giving her brother a little shove then turning to Jess with a huge smile. Leaving the normally shy Marina chatting easily with Jess, Theo looked over to where Adam was indeed in conversation with the goddess.
‘Hmm,’ said Theo to himself, striding over and holding out his hand.
‘Hello,’ he said, ‘I'm Theodore Farrell; oh I suppose I should say St Benedict. No actually, not St Benedict! I do mean Farrell…’ The goddess threw back her head and laughed.
‘I do like a man who doesn't even know his own name,’ she said, taking Theo's hand, her touch sending shock waves through his body. ‘I'm Matilda Santiago.’
‘Delighted to meet you, Matilda,’ said Theo, lifting her hand to his lips and causing her to go a little breathless.
‘Er, hello, Theo,’ said Adam. ‘I was talking to Matilda actually…’
‘You've got a girlfriend,’ said Theo, not taking his eyes from Matilda's.
‘So have you,’ replied Adam crossly. ‘And she's looking this way right now…’
Adam gave up, realising that neither Theo nor Matilda was listening to a word he said. Catherine was indeed looking over, feeling rather distressed at the interaction between her boyfriend and Matilda of the micro miniskirt. Matilda of the explicit messages. As he walked away, Adam encountered Louis and Gideon heading over to join Theo.
‘Mind you don't get burnt up over there,’ he said. ‘There's some impressive chemistry going on between those two. I'm afraid the sweet Catherine's days as Theo's girlfriend could be numbered.’
Approaching Theo and Matilda, Louis realised exactly what Adam meant. They couldn't tear their eyes away from each other, and the air was almost crackling with the sexual tension between them. As Louis and Gideon drew near, Matilda was called into the pub by her father to help serve.
‘Catch you later, Theo,’ she whispered, reluctantly letting go of his hand.
Patting Gideon's bald head on her way past, Matilda sprinted into the pub, Theo's eyes following her until she'd disappeared from view.
‘Only Miss Santiago would have the nerve to do that,’ Gideon grumbled unconvincingly, trying not to grin.
‘Theo, I'd like to introduce you to Gideon Wallis, my mentor and friend. I didn't get a chance in the mêlée earlier. Oh, and by the way, you have grumpy girlfriend approaching from the west.’
Grinning warmly, Theo took Gideon's outstretched hand.
‘I've been particularly looking forward to meeting you, Mr Wallis. You shout at Louis a lot. Anyone who shouts at Louis is a friend of mine…’
‘Dickhead!’ said Louis, affectionately clouting his friend on the shoulder as Catherine joined them.
‘Cathie, darling,’ said Theo, taking Catherine's hand and noting that he didn't feel any jolt of desire at her touch as he had with Matilda, ‘this is Gideon…’
‘I know. I've met him before, remember? What did what's her name…Martha? Matilda? What did Matilda want?’
‘Oh; just introducing herself, Cathie. She is the lead singer of a band formed in my honour, you know…’
‘Yes, it's all about you, isn't it, Theo? It's always all about you!’ Jealousy overcoming shyness, Cathie was almost screaming at her boyfriend while Louis and Gideon fidgeted awkwardly.
‘I suppose I'm history now, aren't I? Now you've got your own way, now I've served my useful purpose, it's ‘‘Goodbye, Cathie; I'm off to screw some slut in a stupidly short skirt. My name's Lord Theodore St Benedict and I'm easy. I do whatever I want, so form an orderly queue, girls.’’ Now you're back with your fucking albino friend; God I bet you'd rather fuck HIM than me…’
Totally losing control, Catherine fled sobbing into The White Lion Inn and up to her bedroom. Following her daughter, Simone stopped briefly to admon
ish Theo.
‘I don't know what you've done to upset my daughter, Theodore,’ she said grimly, ‘but you'd better undo it!’
Watching Simone disappear into the inn after the distressed Catherine, Theo turned to Louis and Gideon.
‘Apologies for that, gentlemen,’ he said, grinning wickedly. ‘I didn't actually know she had that much passion in her. Sorry about the dig she made at you, Louis.’
‘Not to worry, Theo,’ said Louis, ‘I've been called far worse. Besides, all she did was state a fact. I am albino; it's no different to describing you as …let's see…a cad and a bounder?’
‘Louis…’ began Theo, then saw that his friend was grinning at him.
‘I think you need to have a little friend-to-friend chat with Lord Theo, Louis,’ said Gideon. ‘I'll leave you to it.’
‘Let's sit down. Here'll do,’ said Louis, plonking himself down on the grass and indicating that Theo should do the same. ‘Now, Dory, what are you going to do?’
‘About what?’
‘Duh! About your little jealous girlfriend situation?’ Theo just sighed and looked away from Louis, over towards ’Thwaite's Wood.
‘I'm not going back, you know,’ he said eventually. ‘Back to London. I can't; it'd be the death of me. That's going to limit my contact with Catherine anyway…Oh damn, I forgot about them.’
One of Lord William's security guards was approaching Louis and Theo.
‘Lord Theodore, you know His Lordship's wishes. Don't wander out of our earshot again, please. His Lordship wouldn't want the underclass poisoning your mind.’
‘OK, Mr Fellows, point taken. We were only talking about women. Come on, Louis, I could murder a beer. Does Gideon let you drink?’
‘Not usually, but I think he'll make an exception this weekend,’ replied Louis, following Theo's lead and slipping into casual chat. Walking over to the pub behind Lee Fellows, Louis waited until the guard wasn't looking in their direction then whispered quickly in Theo's ear.
‘I don't think Cathie's right for you, nor does Gideon…’
‘STOP whispering to Lord Theodore, Trevelyan! If you weren't His Lordship's great white hope for the Olympics, I'd teach you a little lesson here and now.’ Chuckling at his tremendous wit in describing Louis as the ‘great white hope’, Lee Fellows positioned himself behind the two young men and shoved them both in the back.