by Sarra Cannon
I nodded, then closed my eyes and fell fast asleep.
Shattered
A gentle nudge woke me the next morning. The fire had long since gone out, but a shimmer of light gleamed in from the mouth of the cave. I yawned and looked up, surprised to see worry on Jackson's face.
"What is it?" I whispered. "What's wrong?"
His eyes darkened, but he forced a smile. "I want to show you something."
I pushed the blanket from my body and sat up, wincing as my bones cracked and my muscles protested. I wondered how long it would take before I started to feel normal again.
I still wore the white ritual dress the Order had put me in on the day they intended to sacrifice my life. It was stained with blood and dirt and a long tear ran up the side. I could only hope Jackson wanted to show me a fresh pair of clothes and a place to take a shower.
Mary Anne and Lea both slept toward the back of the cave, and we were careful not to disturb them.
My feet ached against the rocks at the cave's entrance. No shoes. I frowned down at my dirty feet, pale against the craggy black rock. This was going to be a problem.
Jackson wrapped his arms around me and pressed his lips to my ear. "Look," he whispered.
I had been so busy looking at the ground, I hadn't even noticed the shadow world beyond the cave. When I lifted my eyes, the beauty of the place took my breath away.
The sky shone in silvers, blues and pinks that shimmered against the water of an endless ocean. I knew we had been hiding out in a cave, but for some reason, I hadn't noticed the sound of the water crashing against the rocks below. All that stood between us and the ocean was a small ledge about ten feet wide that ran a winding path up and down on either side.
"It's beautiful," I said, wishing I had stronger words.
In some ways, it was like earth, but it was also different. The colors were brighter and more alive. More shimmery and full of motion. And somehow everything just felt... bigger.
Daring to look down, I stepped carefully onto the rocky path and leaned out over the edge. The side of the cliff was steep and cut almost a straight line down to the water. If I had to guess, I would say it was at least two hundred feet down. Still holding on to Jackson, I turned and looked up, shocked to see the top of the cliff was almost just as far away.
"How did you even find this place?"
He smiled. "Aerden and I found this cave when we were really young. We used to explore all over the place back then. Besides, it's not quite as scary when you can fly."
I laughed. He had a point.
"So this is close to where you grew up?" I turned back toward the water and sat down on a smooth black rock at the edge of the cave.
Jackson sat down next to me, but when I moved to take his hand, he pulled away.
"Relatively close," he said, acting like nothing had happened. "We're close enough that we could get there before nightfall if we walked it. But Lea and I wanted to make sure we were far enough away that we could avoid being detected by the Sentinels."
"Sentinels?" I asked. I tried to keep the conversation going, but I couldn't help but feel something was off with him.
"The king's guards, I guess you could call them," he said. "They're supposed to patrol the countryside and protect all of the towns, but they really only protect the king and his council. When we first came through the portal, we were trying to avoid casting any magic, hoping they would never know we'd come through. After the tigers came after you, though, we had no choice."
"What's wrong with magic?" I asked, not understanding.
"Our magic leaves a signature here," he said. "Something others can trace, even from great distances."
I stared out over the water, speechless as a second sun rose, sending a blast of lavender-colored light across the silvery clouds. There was so much to learn about the shadow world and how things ran here. I had so many questions, I knew there was no way to get them all answered this morning. I chose my questions carefully.
"How come Lea doesn't want to see her father?" I asked. "Wouldn't we be safer in the city if we had the Sentinels to protect us?"
"It's complicated," he said. "When Lea left to come to the human world, she was in direct disobedience to her father's orders. The king doesn't take well to being disobeyed."
"You're saying he would hurt her if he knew she was home?"
"No." He bit his lip and ran a hand through his hair. "I don't know. Maybe? He would definitely punish her, probably lock her away for a while and never let her leave again. For her, that would be the same as torture."
"So why even risk coming back here?" I asked softly. I knew she hadn't come back because she cared about me. It was obvious Lea didn't give a crap about me. In fact, I was pretty sure she hated me. So why risk everything?
"Because I asked her to," Jackson said.
His words were simple, but to me they cut like a knife. All he had to do was ask and she was willing to risk her entire life's work? Leave her best friends behind in the human world? Ever since Jackson had first introduced me to Lea, I knew there was more to their story than just an old friendship. Now, with him acting weird and pulling away from me, I wondered just how much there was between them.
I wanted to ask, but I was too afraid to find out the answer.
"Thank you," I said finally. "For coming to get me. You saved my life back there."
Hesitating, he took my hand in his and brought it to his lips, kissing my skin softly. "I was so scared when they took you away from us. I couldn't bear it if something happened to you."
The feel of his lips against my skin felt amazing, but I was confused. What was really going on between us? I turned to meet his eyes.
The sadness that crossed his eyes twisted my gut. "They held you captive for eight days," he said. "Those were the worst eight days of my life. I wasn't sure I'd ever see you again. I'm so sorry, Harper. I told you I would keep you safe, and I just let them take you."
I scooted closer to him on the rock and put my arms around him. He stiffened, then slowly returned my embrace, hugging me tight.
"It wasn't your fault," I said. "I never should have gone wandering around in that field. I never should have left the camp. I got too confident that we were okay after all that traveling. I completely underestimated the Order." I looked down at my tattered dress. "I won't let that happen again."
Footsteps sounded behind us, and Jackson pulled away as if I'd burned him.
"Can I talk to you for a second?" Lea asked, tension in her voice.
Jackson sighed, then excused himself.
Together, they walked back into the cave, whispering too low for me to hear. Lea seemed to be lecturing him about something, and whatever it was, Jackson wasn't happy about it. A dark feeling came over me when Jackson returned, his expression tight.
His jaw tensed and he began to fidget. "Harper, there's something else I brought you out here to talk about."
The seriousness in his voice made my insides twist. I shifted on the rock, suddenly feeling very uncomfortable.
"We're leaving today to go to this place I was telling you about earlier," he said. "The Underground."
"Okay," I said, waiting for the bomb to drop.
"I just thought it would be good for you to understand how things work down there," he said. "As far as rules and magic and politics."
I cleared my throat, finding it difficult to swallow.
He rubbed his palms against his jeans. "There are some rules I'm going to need you to follow."
He pulled a small vial from the pocket of his jeans. The liquid inside glowed deep purple.
"What's that?"
"Joost made potions for you and Mary Anne before we left the human world. They will make you see all the demons down here as if they were human. It will also make you hear everything in English rather than the demon language. He thought it would help make your transition here smoother."
"That was nice of him," I said, taking the vial from Jackson and uncorking it.
"How long will it last?"
"For as long as you're here in the shadow world," he said.
I stared down at the liquid. Part of me was curious to see the demon world exactly as it was. I'd seen Aerden's true form a couple of times before and even though it was different, he hadn't really scared me. Still, an entire city of demons speaking in a foreign language might get to be a bit overwhelming. Especially if they all were staring at me like they hated me.
I took a deep breath, then emptied the vial into my mouth and swallowed. Surprisingly, it tasted sweet.
"What else?" I asked. The first part hadn't really been a rule, I noticed, but I let him continue.
"We can't cast any magic until we get down there," he said. "It's too easy to track."
I nodded. No magic. Easy enough as long as we weren't being attacked.
"You said it was just until we got to the Underground though, right?" I asked. "Can we do magic once we get down there?"
"Yes, they are so deep under the surface and buried under a special stone that blocks the trace from being seen or felt by anyone up on the top," he said. "Once we get down there, magic use will be fine. Still, you'll want to play it very low key, okay? It will be very important that you listen to me and do what I tell you."
I chewed on my inner lip. I had never been one to respond well to the phrase 'do what I tell you'. But I would try to behave.
"What else?" I asked, suddenly feeling that the worst was yet to come.
He looked up, staring out across the ocean. His knee jerked up and down. There was still something he was nervous about having to tell me.
"Just say it," I said, my stomach full of butterflies. "How bad can it be?"
Jackson ran his fingers along his forehead, then finally met my eyes. "You know how I feel about you, right?"
Ouch. That was never a good start to a conversation. "Yes," I said, a tremble in my voice.
"Once we leave this cave, we can't let anyone know we have any sort of relationship beyond the fact that you're connected with my brother."
I swallowed, but felt a lump of worry stick in my throat. Was he breaking up with me?
"It's forbidden for shadow demons to have romantic relationships with humans," he said. "The way my people see it, that's how we got into this mess with the Order in the first place. Friendships are tolerated when the human is sympathetic to our cause, but never more than that."
I tried to breathe, but despite the open air, I suddenly felt very claustrophobic. I couldn't find my voice.
Jackson stood up and stared out at the water, his body tense. "It's not like I wanted things to be this way," he said, finally turning toward me. "But we don't have any choice. The Underground is the only place where I can guarantee that you'll be safe."
Safe. And completely alone. It was obvious he and Lea had already discussed this, which only hurt me more. The idea of staying down there forever was bad enough when I thought we were going to be together. But the thought of never kissing him again or feeling his arms around me? Or worse - watching him fall in love with Lea? What kind of life was that going to be?
"I won't go," I said. He couldn't make me go somewhere I didn't want to go.
Jackson's face grew red. "Yes you will," he said. "I won't sit back and let the Order take you away from me again."
I stood, scowling. "No, but you'll willingly take yourself away from me in the name of safety. How is that any different?"
"At least this way I can watch over you," he said. "You'll be alive and safe."
"And completely miserable?" I shook my head. "That's not the life I want."
"You'd rather have no life then?" he shouted. "Don't be stupid, Harper."
Tears welled up in my eyes, and I swiped at them. "I don't understand why we can't just keep running," I said. "If you really love me, why wouldn't you do everything you could to be with me? There has to be someplace else where we could hide. The mountains. Somewhere out there on the ocean. This can't be the only choice."
Jackson put both hands on my shoulders and held me tight. "Harper, don't you know that I would give anything to be with you?" he said. There were tears in his green eyes for the first time. "Believe me, if I thought there was any chance we could run from the Order, I would run until the end of time. But they would find us. They would kill us both. The Underground is our only chance. It's the only place you'll be safe."
I pulled away and leaned against the side of the cliff. This couldn't be happening.
"Harper, please." Jackson stood behind me, the warmth of his body against my back. He leaned his forehead against the back of my head, but despite his closeness, I could already feel a deep well growing between us. "Please."
Tears streamed down my face. There was no winning this argument. He had already made up his mind.
"Okay," I said. My heart shattered deep inside my chest. "I'll go."
I didn't want to look at him. I just wanted to stare out at the ocean and let the sorrow crash over me like a wave.
But Jackson pulled me closer. "Harper, look at me."
I met his clear green eyes as he leaned in to kiss me one last time.
Our lips were wet with salty tears, and for a moment, I thought I might drown in them. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him close as if he were my life-raft. The kiss deepened and he pulled me tighter, both of us desperate for it to never end.
But eventually, all things must come to an end.
The Closest Thing I have Left To A Family
Back inside the cave, I sat beside Mary Anne and waited for her to wake up.
Jackson and Lea moved toward the entrance to discuss plans for the journey to the Underground, but I wanted to be as far away from them as possible right now. Inside, my heart was breaking. How could Jackson do this to me? How could he sweep me away to this place, give me hope of a better future, then take it all away? It wasn't fair.
I couldn't imagine a life where I would be standing next to him, yet forbidden to touch him.
I would go to his Underground. Get my strength back. Learn to take control of my own magic so that someday I would be able to leave and fight the Order on my own. There was no way I could stay there for the rest of my life.
Beside me, Mary Anne shifted and moaned. I leaned over her and felt her forehead. Her fever seemed to have passed, but her skin was still deathly pale except for the red scratch across her cheek.
Jackson was hoping to leave this afternoon, but I wasn't so sure she'd be ready to travel.
Her eyes opened slowly and she squinted up at me. "Harper?"
"Hey," I said with a smile. "How are you feeling?"
"Like I got bit by a tiger," she said. She laughed, then winced and grabbed her side. "There's something I never thought I'd say."
I shook my head and felt the guilt tear through me. "I'm so sorry," I said. "I got you into this mess."
Mary Anne placed her hand on mine. "It's not your fault," she said. "I came here of my own free will."
I paused. "Why did you come?" I said it softly, not wanting her to think she wasn't wanted. I just didn't understand why she risked her life to come save me.
She held both hands out to me so I could help her move into a sitting position. It took her a few seconds to get herself upright, but when she did, the color started to return to her cheeks. "You're the closest thing I have left to a family," she said simply. "I wasn't about to let them hurt you. Besides, eventually the Order would have figured out that I was the one who told Jackson where to find you. I don't think they would have liked me too much at that point."
I raised an eyebrow. "You have a point there."
"So what are those two up to over there all secret-like?" She nodded toward Jackson and Lea at the cave's entrance.
I turned to look at them, an instant pang biting into my heart. Lea was a demon and therefore, completely fair game for him. He said his feelings for me wouldn't change, but who knew what might happen after years of being in the Underground? And the two of th
em already had a past I didn't understand.
I did my best to shake it off. "They're planning our trip to the Underground."
Mary Anne grabbed a bottle of water and just nodded. Apparently, the Underground was not news to her. They must have talked about their plan before they left our world.
"What do you know about it?" I asked. "The Underground?"
She shrugged and swallowed. "Not much, I guess. Just that it's deep under the surface and that magic can't be tracked down there. Some kind of shield blocks it from the upper world," she said. "Jackson said we'd be safe there for as long as we needed to stay. I just hope they let us in."
"Did he tell you that they don't like humans?"
"Yeah," she said. "But only because they've never really known any humans that weren't a part of the Order. I think they'll warm up to us pretty quickly. Especially after they hear about what we've done to fight back against the Order."
I nodded, but I was worried. What if we'd just traded one miserable life for another?
It Really Is You
Miserable or not, there was no turning back now. Jackson and Lea decided on a route that would take us to one of the Underground's portals. They were used to traveling fast by demon form, but using their magic would set off warning signals to both the Order and Lea's father. It was too risky. Especially if Lea's father had already realized she was here. He might already have his Sentinels out searching for her. We would have to walk it.
By the time Mary Anne felt well enough to walk on her own, the first sun was already setting. Walking in the dark made me nervous, but Lea said we would do better under the cover of darkness anyway. Since one of Jackson's many talents was that he could see in the dark, he led the group up the side of the steep cliff.
My feet argued with each step I took on the black rock. I tried to maneuver to the smooth places, but every once in a while, I would hit a jagged part and the pain would shoot through my entire leg. In a way, I almost didn't mind the pain. I felt numb after hearing Jackson's news, so the pain in my feet was a reminder to keep moving forward.