by Allynn Riggs
“She couldn’t have asked Nonnash to come back later?” Taryn asked.
“No, she had offered to watch the baby for a while. And after twenty-five years, I can wait another day. Besides, even if we had all the information right now, we couldn’t do anything until tomorrow. Plus, I don’t know how much information your mother has, Taryn. She said she promised to keep Shendahl’s secret. But since I told her I know about the twin and Mother is gone, she has no reason not to tell me.”
Taryn rubbed his hands together. “All right, here’s the plan. Ani, obviously you are back with Mother. Renloret, do you think there may be more notes in the storage files, perhaps in more recent material?”
“There are definitely more files to go through,” Renloret replied. “I mean, she made one note five years after the birth, so she might have expressed other doubts later on, especially as Ani approached her menses. I have no difficulty with returning to my assigned area.”
Taryn nodded. “Renloret, why don’t you ride down to the center with me? I want to interview some of the other workers who have returned and may have been around twenty to twenty-five years ago. Surely, someone saw or heard something, especially after the attack on the facility twenty years ago. Perhaps Shendahl slipped up somehow.”
Ani stood, stretched her arms over her head, and yawned. “The plan sounds good to me. I’m headed for some sleep. Renloret, you know which room you can use. Taryn, take the middle guest room. I’ll see you both in the morn. Now that we know Mother shared the secret with Melli, I feel a bit more optimistic. In the morn I’ll know why the twin was a secret.” She moved toward the foyer, Kela following her.
“Sleep deep, Ani,” Renloret called after her.
“Sleep deep yourself.”
Kela trotted back into the room, carefully grabbed the handle to one of the tea mugs, and dropped it onto Taryn’s lap. He laughed and patted Kela’s head, understanding that the dog was telling him to clean up. The canine barked once at Renloret and retraced his steps.
“What do you suppose Kela wants me to do?” Renloret asked Taryn, grinning.
“Probably bank the fire,” Taryn said, dipping his chin toward the logs as he gathered the other mugs and took them to the kitchen.
Renloret replaced the photo of Ani’s family on the mantel and banked the fire before climbing the stairs.
Ani tried to calm herself as she approached the front door. She shouldn’t be this frightened. What was she afraid of? She already knew there was a twin. It was just the reasons for not telling that bothered her. She suddenly wished Kela was at her side providing commentary that would keep her calm. She felt his reassuring presence behind the privacy block they’d agreed to put in place so she wouldn’t be distracted. That was what she wanted now — a distraction. This was worse than the blade ring championship finals. She took a calming breath, but it didn’t stop her hand from trembling as she knocked.
“Coming, Ani!”
Ani rubbed her temple. Even after the discussion last eve, she was not as ready as she had assumed she’d be.
The door opened. “Come in, dear one. Oh, there’s nothing to be afraid of — perhaps a bit sad, but nothing to be afraid of. And I have some of your mother’s things for you too.” Melli took Ani’s hand and drew her into the formal sitting room.
Ani’s smile was tentative as she followed Melli’s lead, but her smile widened when she noticed the tea setting with biscuits and jam. She took the indicated chair while Melli poured the tea and then offered the tray of biscuits. Ani made her selection, spooned the jam onto a piece, and took a bite. Her eyes lit up at the gednium-based jam. Melli grinned and placed two biscuits on her own plate. After a sip of tea and a second bite, Ani picked up the napkin, hesitating to put it to her mouth when she recognized her mother’s needlework. She glanced at Melli for assurance and then patted her lips.
“I was not prepared for such a formal tea, Melli. You didn’t have to go to all this trouble with your best service and even my mother’s embroidery.” She shook her head. “It has been too long since my last formal tea. I believe it was with you and Mother before I headed to the university.”
Melli bowed her head slightly in acknowledgment. “It’s my pleasure to offer a bit of ceremony to you, Anyala. You are not only my best friend’s daughter, you are as a daughter to me. I felt this occasion needs to be handled with respect.” Melli took a bite of biscuit. As she chewed, she nodded. Evidently the biscuits had come out exactly right. She chased the biscuit with a swallow of tea.
“Ani, you asked about your birth and the fact that you have a twin.” Melli fidgeted a moment before continuing. “I’ll tell you what I know, though it may not be what you want to hear.”
“It’s all right, Melli. I’m prepared for almost anything.”
“Please be patient with me, Ani. I’ve never told the whole story, until now. As I said yesterday, your mother and I had gone to the cabin for what we called a girls’ getaway about a month before Shendahl’s due date. I was a couple of weeks behind her but wasn’t having any of the troubles I’d had with the previous pregnancies, so I wasn’t worried. Besides, Shendahl was there and she had her medical bag, just in case. We had plenty of food and plenty of activities planned. We expected the usual warm spring days and chilly nights, especially that high up the mountain, and we had a marvelous first day and eve. The second day the sunrise was almost as red as blood. We should have heeded its warning. By late morn, the clouds came in and the wind picked up. We assumed — or rather hoped — it would just rain. Midday, the temperature began to drop. By our eve meal, it had snowed several hands deep. To be honest, we were already in trouble.” Melli picked up her teacup and swallowed. “Then her water broke.”
“Oh, no.” Ani covered her mouth.
“I won’t go into detail, but several hours later, you arrived all squalling and mad about leaving the warmth and safety of your mother’s womb. The afterbirth took a long time to come. She worried about that. She said she didn’t feel right and felt that something was wrong. She was correct.” Melli took a deep breath. “It got a lot worse because I went into labor shortly after you arrived.”
Ani sat back in the chair, stunned. She had never heard this version of her birth. She’d assumed she’d been born at the hospital like most of the other babies, though she remembered that Taryn said her name had not been on any of the official lists in the newslines.
Melli leaned forward, her face serious. “Your mother tried to stop my labor with the medicines she had brought up. I think she always had them within arm’s reach after I told her I was pregnant. Twice before, I had miscarried before the sixth month, and she was determined that I would go full term this time. But her ordeal wasn’t over and she was in no condition to care for me while she tried to pay attention to you, considering how early you were.
“About two hours after I went into labor, Shendahl’s contractions resumed. And because of the medicine she’d given me, I wasn’t able to help her. But I heard her. Your twin was born about four hours after you. The baby didn’t make much noise. Shendahl was angry that the technology here hadn’t prepared her for twins.
“While she was fussing over your sister, my contractions started up again, despite the medication, and Taryn arrived just before dawn. He was so small and he barely cried. Your mother had stayed awake all that night dealing with you two and with Taryn. I’d never seen her cry so much before that day or since. She was frantic to keep all of us alive until our husbands could rescue us. By then the snow was almost up to the windowsills and the wind was a constant howl.”
Ani gulped down the remaining tea. “So what happened to my twin?”
Melli wiped away a tear that had spilled down her cheek. “I want you to know that your mother tried everything to save her, but she evidently stopped breathing while your mother was attending to me and Taryn. I feel responsible, Ani. If I had not insisted we have a girls’ escape, we would have been closer to the hospital and your twin would most likely
have survived.” She sniffled and blew her nose into one of the napkins.
Ani bit her lip to keep from contradicting Melli’s words. Obviously, Melli was completely convinced the twin had not survived. But why did the Stones believe otherwise? Perhaps there was a clue in the story. If she listened closely, she might discover how the twin survived and why Shendahl had kept it a secret.
Melli nodded. “Shendahl wrapped her up in one of the blankets and put her in the tinderbox. From where I was on the bed, she looked like she was asleep, at peace with such a short life. I’m not sure she ever opened her eyes. Your mother made me promise to keep it all a secret. I’ve kept my promise until now.”
Ani was quiet for a couple of breaths, then she frowned. “Where did she bury the baby?”
“I don’t know. Probably somewhere near the cabin. She never told me. I was still under the influence of the medication, so she may have mentioned it, but I truly don’t remember. I tried for a long time afterward but Shendahl kept telling me it wasn’t my fault and everything was going to be all right. She said other babies died that week, not just her own.” Melli wiped tears from her cheeks.
Ani reached across the table to take Melli’s hand. “What else do you remember?”
“The storm lasted three days. We managed to clear off the porch and steps by taking turns watching over the babies and shoveling. Shendahl may have buried the baby during her first turn at shoveling. She was gone a long time. It took two more days for the men to arrive. They had Tezak with them, and he checked both you and Taryn. He said it was a miracle both of you had survived. All the credit goes to Shendahl. We never talked about it afterward. We were just two women who had given birth during that awful storm. Several of our friends in the valley also lost their babies, so your mother was not alone in her grief. She seemed to come to terms with her loss when she knew Taryn was going to survive. I don’t think she would have recovered if I had lost him too.”
Melli paused. “I’m eternally grateful for all Shendahl did to ensure I still have him. Her skills saved him, and I grieve that those same skills were unable to save your sister, Ani.”
Turning to the chair nearest the fireplace, Melli pulled a small embroidered blanket into her lap. “I saved two things for you. Shendahl had originally wrapped the twin in this, but after Taryn was born, she must have changed blankets because when she presented Taryn to me, she said it was the least she could do for her best friend. She wanted me to have this one so we could share the memory of our children’s birthdays. I put it away when he turned two. I was saving it for the next one. I never had another one. So I thought I would give it to either you or Taryn depending on who had a child first.” She passed the blanket to Ani. “You deserve the blanket that hugged your twin.”
Ani buried her face in the softness.
“It’s also time you had this.”
Ani looked up from the blanket to see Melli push the thick leather-bound journal toward her.
“It was my gift to your mother when she announced her pregnancy. It’s called a mother’s journal. It’s a traditional gift to a first-time mother here on Northern. I know Shendahl wrote in it often, before and after your birth. It’s written in Southern, so I’ve not been able to read any of it and, well, it’s a personal thing and I didn’t want to show it to anyone who might be able to translate it. Can you translate it?”
Ani shook her head. She’d have to ask Renloret.
“I do know that there are several long entries around the date of your birth,” Melli added.
Ani ran her hands over the pliable creamy softness of the much handled leather. “I remember this. She wrote in it at least once a week. I didn’t know you had given it to her. She treasured it. She told me someday I would be able to read it and then I would understand her. Where did you find it?”
Melli looked guilty. “It was in the bottom drawer of the dresser. I found it when you and I were closing up the bedroom after she died. I didn’t think you were ready for it then, and I thought you might dispose of it before reading it. You were so upset at the time and wanted to throw away everything that belonged to her.”
“Yes, I was very angry,” Ani admitted. She had been angry that she had been unable to save her mother, angry that she was now alone. She’d felt responsible for her mother’s death. Now Ani shoved the memory aside.
“I decided to keep it safe until you were ready. You’re ready now, Anyala.”
Ani placed the journal on top of the blanket and embraced Melli. “Thank you so much.”
“I only wish your twin had survived.”
“At least the mystery has been solved. I’ll see if Renloret can help me translate the journal. It’ll be a pleasure to get to know my mother and what she thought and hoped for — though for all we know it will contain just a list of things she did or a list of groceries to be bought.” She forced a laugh to make light of a situation that was still freshly painful. Tracing the worn embossing on the journal cover, she wondered what her mother had written about the birth and what had really happened to the twin. This eve, with Renloret’s help in translating, they would finally know.
“I need to get going, Melli. Renloret is expecting me to pick him up at the clinic. He was helping Doctor Ganevek and a few others with some of their research on the medical crisis on Southern. They are trying to avert a similar one here or at least be prepared for the possibility. I’m guessing the doctor will want some of my blood — in case.”
Melli returned the hug and placed a kiss on Ani’s cheek. “Don’t let him take too much. Oh, thinking of doctors, Taryn called me before you arrived. He said to tell you that he won’t be at the eve meal with you and Renloret tonight because he has a meeting with one of the doctors.”
Ani frowned. “Did he say which one or why?”
“No. Is it important?”
Ani shrugged. “Probably not. If you see him before I do, let him know we’re staying at the lake house for the next couple of days. Since we’re back in time, Taryn registered Renloret and me for the summer regionals and wants us to participate in the practice bouts next week.”
Melli’s smile lit up her face. “Oh, that’s wonderful, Ani. Will you compete as a pair?”
Ani stumbled on her words as she tried to cover her embarrassment caused by the inadvertent double entendre tied with the word pair. “Well … I … I can’t remember what divisions Taryn suggested. We’ve been sort of focused on other things.”
Melli patted her shoulder. “There’s no hurry, dear. You have at least a month to decide which ones to enter. Will Renloret be eligible even if he’s from Southern?”
“Taryn was having Daneeha look into it. Anyway, Melli, speaking of Renloret, I need to pick him up.” She made her way down the porch stairs.
“Of course, dear. I’m sorry I didn’t have the news you wanted to hear.” She squeezed Ani’s arm. “If you want to talk more, I’m available to listen.”
“Thanks.” Unaccountably, she felt tears welling up as she hurried to the vehicle. As she turned out of the driveway she smiled and waved to Melli, who could not see the tears now streaming down her cheeks. Alongside the relief of knowing, worry was building as the end to the search seemed to have slipped out of her grasp.
It was obvious to Renloret that Ani had been crying when he slid into the passenger seat and moved a book and folded piece of embroidered fabric onto his lap.
“Bad news?”
“Not exactly.”
“What’s with the blanket and book?” The embroidery on the blanket had a familiar look about it. He studied it while he waited for Ani to answer.
“They were my mother’s. Melli gave them to me.” Her voice trembled.
“Why did Melli have them?” Renloret made the connection on the embroidery. The style matched the stitchery on the bed coverlet in the guest room. He began examining the book. The animal hide binding was worn smooth and pliable with much handling. The bio-teacher translated the embossed Teramaran script on the front cov
er. In surprise he announced it aloud. “A Mother’s Journal.”
Ani bit her lower lip. “It’s a traditional gift to an expectant woman, so she can write down her thoughts and wishes about the child, especially chronicling occurrences late in her pregnancy and the first year of the baby’s life. Most women just write up to the child’s first day of school or start over when they get pregnant with the next one. It’s sometimes read aloud at significant birthday celebrations to remind the child how he or she came into life.”
Renloret considered that and thumbed to the last entry. It was written in Lrakiran, though the date was Teramaran. If the bio-teacher was correct, S’Hendale’s last entry was written a few weeks before her death. He glanced over it. “And some obviously write until they can write no more.”
Ani glanced at him. “Is that her last entry?”
“Yes, a few weeks before she died.” He saw her chin quiver as she rolled her lower lip back and forth between her teeth.
She whispered, “I’ll need your help to read it.”
He silently read the last line and closed the journal. “Whenever you are ready.” The last words on the page seared through him. I know I won’t survive this. Tell your father I love him. He will return and take you home to save our people, for you are The Blood and The Balance. I’m sorry I won’t be there to explain. There was no mention of the twin.
The rest of the trip was silent.
Kela was noticeably absent when they entered the lake house kitchen. Renloret asked where the canine was as he placed the journal and blanket on the kitchen counter.
Ani flipped her long braid out of the way and grabbed items from the cooler for the eve meal. “Kela’s with Melli, comforting and listening like only he can. He stopped by to check on her a few minutes after I left. He’s getting biscuits and a lot of hugs.”