by Leanne Davis
“It would be the greatest adventure. Hell, yeah. Yes. Us? Traveling the world with your fame and fortune? Sounds amazing…”
“Jody, it’s pie in the sky. We can’t pretend that’ll happen just because we want it to.”
She rubbed his cheek with her palm. “I know how to make it happen, so it will happen.”
“Your parents will hate me. No musicians, remember?”
“Just this musician. It seems to be my destiny, huh? My job led me to you and now, here we are.”
“I can’t believe you’d live with HIV and me.”
“It shouldn’t come as such a shock. That’s what love does to people.”
“Love.” He shook his head and kissed her lips gently with a soft tenderness that was new and intoxicating. She couldn’t believe it was actually coming from Ross. “I will love you better than I can play the drums. I promise.”
Her heart lifted as she curled into him and they clasped hands. Jody believed him. In him and everything about him.
For real. Forever. It was the start of forever.
Just wait until her parents realized she became a freaking groupie just like her mother.
Except everything was different now. His newfound autonomy was about to allow them to embark on the greatest fucking adventure he or she ever contemplated.
He startled her when he suddenly lifted his head up. “How are we going to tell your dad?”
Jody started to laugh. Hard. She was gasping and he frowned at her. “What?”
“After all the drama and trauma of the last few weeks, you’re worried about how my dad will handle the news that I’m dating a musician?”
“Yes. But I was thinking about if I make it and we travel, you will be accepting the lifestyle that he never wanted for you. I mean… maybe not, but what if? How would we tell him? He’ll kill me.”
“He didn’t kill you yet and he only wanted to when you left without a word and hurt me. So don’t hurt me again and you’ll stay alive. I swear, the least of your problems is my dad. He’s learned that I prefer to make my own decisions.”
Ross had a weary look. “I’m not so sure of that.”
“I am.” Jody playfully smacked him. “What is this? If you make it? Or maybe I’ll accept your lifestyle? You will and I will. So get there. And fast. Because I am.”
Closing his eyes, he smiled as he leaned forward to kiss her softly. “Got. There.”
Chapter 15
“WHAT DO YOU MEAN you’re going with him?” Karlee asked as she stared at Jody, her eyes squinting with annoyance.
“You heard me. They scheduled a world tour and I’m going along with him.”
“You’re being so typical. Don’t do that. Don’t be typical. Don’t be his groupie.”
“Weren’t you the same with Xavier and would have continued until his epic betrayal stopped you?” She gave Karlee a disbelieving look.
“Yes. But I wasn’t typical. I was the manager in control of it all. I was the love of his life and I knew it. He couldn’t do any better than me so I made sure he understood that. That wasn’t what broke us up. But traveling the world with a partying rock band? Jody…”
Jody broke into a huge grin. “It sounds like the most incredible adventure. Hell, yeah, I’m traveling the world with a rock band. With my boyfriend, the drummer. And you think my boyfriend doesn’t know what I mean to him? Or that I’m the only one?” She snickered. Karlee finally joined her in a conspiratorial smile.
“Okay, you’re right. He knows. But are you sure you want to give up the rest of your life for that?”
“Dear God, you sound like my dad. I’m not giving up my life. I’m not getting hung or having my head cut off, I’m choosing to travel around the world. I’m putting my position at his company on hold, whether or not they take me back.” She smiled cheekily. “But I am definitely doing it. I’m thrilled and excited and I can’t wait.”
“You’re really serious?”
“More serious about him. I love him.”
Her eyes became huge saucers. “You? Fell in love? With a musician? Oh… my… God. Not what I expected.”
“Me neither. It was only supposed to be a good time. It turned into far more.”
“Yeah, I get that.” Karlee nodded with a smile, no doubt comparing her own journey of falling in love with a musician.
“How’re your parents, your dad especially, how are they going to take it?”
“Well, after all our meaningful interactions, I think it buffered their original fears and hatred of the generic lifestyle of musicians.”
“Like what?”
“This stays private? Just between us. I mean it, Karlee.”
Karlee gave her a dirty look. “Jody. Of course. How could you even doubt that?”
Jody nodded. “I forgot you’re the most closed-mouth person I know. I’m sorry. But this is important and very private about Ross.”
“Then it’s important and private to you and me. By telling me, you need to talk to someone and that is me, so, of course, it will remain private.”
“I love how you cut through the bullshit. Anyway, Ross recently found out he’s HIV positive. I had to get tested and it was the scariest day of my life. It’s really hard. All the fear and adjustment. A new stigma he never knew he’d face.”
“Oh, Jody. I didn’t expect that. I’m sorry.”
“Me too. We’re learning about it still and starting his treatment. His doctor has every expectation he will lead a long, healthy life. But he does have an incurable disease so it’s a lot to take in.”
“And you?”
“So far, no. I have to be tested in a few months again to really know for sure. There’s a window of time where you could test negative when you’re not.”
“I had no idea that’s what you’ve been going through.”
“He ended up at my parents’ house and they heard Ross’s devastation in thinking he might have given it to me. That couldn’t be faked. The Ross they saw was the complete opposite of the Ross I first met. He changed and grew and I don’t doubt it. There are all kinds of things going on and being said. We’re still trying to figure it out. Both of us.”
Karlee leaned forward and hugged Jody and squeezed her hand. “Well, yes, because you don’t handle commitment or sappy feelings easily at all. I can’t believe this is really you.”
“Yes. I’m totally committed. And I intend to learn how to make this work. We are new, but the feelings run very deep.”
“I understand that. The second time with Xavier and me, there were deep feelings, but we had to start all over so it felt brand new. Slow and confusing, but it grew.”
“That’s what I hope for. But I also found him a new band and it’ll be good. They are out of New York and…”
“I seriously can’t believe you’re going with him.”
“I know. Me neither.”
Karlee blinked several times. That quick, her tears brimmed in her eyes. “I know. I knew this day was coming when we’d eventually have to grow up fully and let each other go. But Jody, when you invited me to live in Seattle at your condo and work with you, I think you saved and changed my life. I have always loved you like a sister and best friend so I can’t imagine not seeing you everyday.”
Tears leaked from Jody’s eyes. “You’re moving on too. Out to the country to become Mrs. Montgomery and start a family… the real grownup stuff.”
“I’m happy about it. I want to do it. But the thing I can’t stand losing and leaving is you.”
“Ditto that, Randall.”
“God, we had so much fun. The best times of my life.”
“Me too. With no one else. No other woman shares our bond and ease with each other. It won’t end, we’ll just have to be grownups and call and make dates to see each other. Right?”
Karlee took her hand and gripped it tightly. “Right. Always. Will you come to me first for all that’s private and important? No matter what it is?”
“Only if you will too.�
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“You were the only one who knew I got back with Xavier for months. So, always.” Karlee shook her head. “I thought I could have that lifestyle and experience. I was heartbroken to discover I would not be traveling with Xavier to the top of the music world. Too many things blocked or changed that trajectory. But nothing makes me happier than seeing you do it. Have fun, Jody Lassiter. Be crazy, amazing, fun, exciting, and stay young. Do something that almost no one ever really gets to do in life.”
“I was a little nervous to tell you…”
Karlee’s head shook as she laughed. “I’m not jealous. I have the life I want with the man I want. I hope that for you now too.”
They didn’t talk anymore, just hugged each other long and tight. When they released, they shared a tear-streaked smile. “Go big or go home. That’s so you, Jody. Be that. Live that. You fit this lifestyle more than I ever could. So actually, it seems perfect.”
Taking Karlee’s words to heart, Jody used them to shelve her doubts. Of course, she had them too. Giving up her job and the place she loved? To follow a man she’d only known for a matter of months, and who didn’t make those months easy? Yeah, not what she ever predicted. Following a man? The cliché she never thought Jody Lassiter would be. But there she was.
Trudging from her sad meeting and departure from Karlee, she slipped into her parents’ building. Ross was waiting at the entrance. For her. His smile lit his face up and seemed so real and free. The fact that he smiled at all never ceased to surprise her. He put a hand out toward her and she slipped hers into his. She appreciated the ease in which they now interacted.
They touched hands and hugged. The easy conversations discussed the details of their lives. Scheduling their lives just to stay together somehow managed to work like a right and left hand intertwined together. Everything fit. All of it. Considering their fears of dating and commitment and intimacy and relationship, everything was working now that they were in it together.
“Ready?”
“Yes. I told Karlee. She’s excited for me. Told me to be amazing and young and crazy.”
“Sounds like a pretty feasible plan.”
“It is if we do it safely and responsibly.” She gave him a shrug. “I might seem like a barrel of fun, but I’m also extremely responsible and I don’t goof off much.”
He slipped a kiss on her forehead as they waited for the elevator. “I know that already.”
“Right.”
“Jody, have you thought of managing me? You have connections and experience and God, you are so smart and savvy. I don’t know how to do any of that. All I got is my fidgety fingers that like to tap the sticks. I need someone I can trust. You seem perfect.”
“Well, I am. But I haven’t decided. Considering the ethical boundaries and all that.”
“Didn’t Karlee do that for Xavier at the start?”
“See how that ended?”
“But not at the start.”
“True. Maybe it’s intriguing. Different than what I do now, but related. Dynamic and of course, something to do in New York.”
He pulled her closer and buried his face into her hair. “I can’t believe you agreed to go with me.”
She snapped her head back. “You should be saying I can’t believe you got me this job and huge opportunity. This—”
“This everything. My career. It all belongs to you and includes you.”
She rolled her eyes and grinned up at him. “Now you’re finally getting it right.”
But her teasing didn’t draw a smile from his lips. “You must realize I’d be holed up in a cold, dark, faceless motel room with the damn knowledge that I have HIV. I wouldn’t have sought help or care for myself. I would just be there still… melting away. I don’t even know what I would have done. If I hadn’t had you to call, care about, and pull me out of it, I would have sunk into total isolation and darkness. Jody, I can’t live without you. I can hardly breathe when you’re not near me. It’s not normal.” He blinked his eyes hard and stooped down to hug her. She mussed his hair and blinked her own tears.
“It’s normal. It’s called falling in love. You’re not that special or original. I feel it too. Right back at you.”
His head shook. “I can’t see how you could.”
“You don’t have to see. I know how I could and why I do.”
The elevator landed and the doors opened, ending their intimate moment. Giving each other reassuring smiles, they gripped hands and prepared to talk to her parents about a future they didn’t want for her. Jody sensed they had to see it coming. A future she was starting to get pretty excited about.
Opening the door, Ross and Jody entered her parents’ house with a loud call of hello. Never shy or hesitant in her family home, Jody always barged in by announcing her arrival like royalty had just entered the premises.
Then JayJay came in from the kitchen. “Hey, guys! Ross, want to play?” JayJay said all in the same breath.
Ross smiled. “Hello, JayJay. I think we’d better not. Time to be grownups for a little bit.”
Jody nudged him. “Actually, why don’t you play with JayJay? I’ll talk to them. That way you’ll be here, but not there for it. You know? Then they might be more honest and we can fully get this over with.”
The relief she saw in his eyes made her laugh and the kiss he planted on her cheek thrilled her. “I’d love to play with JayJay. Let’s go, dude.”
Sitting with their headphones and matching gazes fastened on the giant TV, Ross and JayJay started to load up whatever game they planned to play. They looked like giant children now.
She entered the dining room as her dad finished setting the table. “Hi, Dad,” Jody said softly.
Nick lifted his gaze and met hers. Stricken and sad, he stared at her. He knew. She realized they already knew her reason for being there. “Hey…” he said just as softly.
They stared at each other for a long moment and a lump filled her throat as her sentimental tears spilled over her eyelids. She remembered being a young girl when she was about to leave for London. Excited as could be but also more scared than ever. Jody couldn’t wait to experience a life so new and exciting but feared not being with both of them. The night before she was to go, her hiccups and tears alternated as she begged them not to go, even though it was her idea.
She felt like that again now.
Nick placed the last plate on the table and stepped around the chair, opening his arms to her. Jody smiled with grateful relief and rushed over to duck into his waiting arms. For all her bluster, independence, attitude, and confidence in her plan no matter what they said or did, some things didn’t change, like the simple, ancient need for their approval. Nick’s arms felt warm and solid, being the first to teach her how love should feel.
“You’re going, huh?” Nick’s voice was low and caring.
She nodded. “I am. I love him. I love the idea of it. I want to do this. I’m excited. But also scared. To leave. I never thought I’d leave for a guy. Yes, along with the inherent perils of that lifestyle. As well as other things.”
His arms tightened and he pressed a kiss on her scalp. “I might not tell you where to go and what to do, but don’t do anything for a guy. Anything you do should be done for yourself. I would have followed your mother anywhere she went and I was a whole decade older than you are now. I want you to find love and if this is where you found it, we both support you.”
“I found it. He has all the potential. I know he’s got rough edges but his heart is solid. And it’s all mine.”
Nick’s shoulders shrugged. “I saw him during the worst time. I believe it. I believe you love him and very deeply.”
“You’ve come a long way.”
He sighed. “You and your mother never stop pushing me farther than I ever intended to go.” His shoulders fell. “But it’s usually for the better. Just promise me to be careful with all things. A new place to live and traveling, when and if, but mostly, with all things. Promise me,” he whispered
as he hugged her tightly.
She knew he meant Ross’s HIV status and to be careful whenever they had sex together. Even though Nick understood she could not resist Ross and having sex despite the added dangerous and severity in caution. “I promise.”
“I know. We’re always just a text or a phone call away.”
She lifted her head up. “Ditto that.” They exchanged sad smiles with watery eyes at their clever exchange.
Then her mother’s voice interrupted. “Can we have a moment?”
Jody released her dad and turned to her mom. Her dad nodded. “Of course. I’ll see how the guys’ game is progressing.” He smiled devilishly. “I’ll sit near Ross and give him a few looks just to watch him squirm. That never gets old.”
“Dad,” Jody groaned, “you could also just try to be nice to him.”
“Oh, believe me, my words are always nice.” He smirked. “But I deserve to have some fun too.” Then he exited and left them alone.
Jody and her mom stared at each other, almost like looking into a mirror. “Have you figured out how to have safe sex?”
Relieved to fully express herself without judgment, Jody shook her head. “We’ve seen a doctor and discussed it at length. We still haven’t done it yet.” She licked her lips. “I know it’s not right, but I’m freaked out. You know? The warnings in health class and public announcements were scary. Now the thought of having sex with someone who has HIV, well, it makes me nervous. But I can’t let it stop us. I mean, not forever.”
“And you want forever?”
“Yes. I mean, it’ll be a few years before I’d consider us ready for marriage. We have a long way to go before we can build a strong relationship but the foundation is what I want and it’s there.”
Joelle nodded. “Then you’ll just have to face it. You’re not wrong to be nervous. You should tell him how you feel, never mind his reaction. What the hell is that about anyway? You are allowed to have your own reaction just as he is allowed to have his.”
“I’m a little overwhelmed, Mom.”
Her mom smiled and came forward, taking Jody’s hand and squeezing it. She guided Jody to sit at the end of the table. Jody sat and her mom pulled a chair to the other side, holding her hand but clearly looking her straight in the eyes. “That’s a very rare thing for my indomitable daughter to express.”