by Holly Ice
Chapter 17
Two days after the mutiny ended, everyone was called to the food hall. I walked the decks, passing crew who offered me a smile between discussing the mutiny and others who kept their gaze ahead, pale with nerves.
Inside, the crew were in their usual groups, but my eyes were drawn to the gaps. Peppered around the hall, about thirty seats lay empty. Some stared at the empty places, but most pretended the spaces didn’t exist.
I settled onto a table filled with my new friends. They waved or offered me a smile or a hello, and I smiled back. Ludis had failed and I’d lost a friend, but I’d gained far more.
Quinn nudged me in the side. ‘Feeling okay? How’s the arm?’ A huge bandage was wrapped around his head, but his smile and almond-shaped amber eyes still set my insides tumbling.
‘I’m okay. My fingers healed well but my arm’s still tender.’ My sleeve covered the injury, but I smoothed down the fabric even so. The scar was ugly and puckered where the nanites had stitched my plasma burn into a mottled seam, and I wasn’t ready to show it to others. The ridges and valleys of hard skin were something I’d have to grow used to.
Quinn rubbed my back and didn’t comment.
I looked around the table. Yara, Siti and Ashoka were similarly adorned with patches and puffy bruises. Most of us were. We’d heal in another few days, once the nanites finished up, but in the meantime half of us were taking painkillers with our food. A few of us had even had to argue with health until they’d let us leave and limp here with our war wounds, me included. Turned out Nomi gave me some internal injuries when my multiple fractured ribs splintered inwards. The nanites had kept me going, but it wasn’t an easy fix.
Usually the committee would have brought the meeting to order by now, but perhaps they felt it was good for us to relax after the last few days. I scanned the crowd for Rima and found her near the doors. She’d just made her way inside. No doubt she’d start soon.
Rima climbed onto a table. The crowd cheered and then settled. I mainly blinked. I hadn’t thought she had such mischief in her.
‘Thank you for coming. We’ve had a lot of these ship meetings lately.’ A couple laughs met the statement, but most waited for the real news. ‘This one is straightforward. As of last night, all those in the anti-nanite group have been detained in lockers. They will receive any physical or mental support they need. They won’t be released until we land on Ristar and will be under close supervision and strict work shifts once they are. If you’d like to visit them, that can be arranged via Meri.’ No one so much as groaned. The silence was complete. ‘As for Ristar, the team have healed enough to be here and insist they need no further rehabilitation. Of course, health disagree.’ Another chuckle from the crowd, me included. ‘They’re keen to begin, and I’m sure you’re all keen to see them succeed.’
Whoops and stomping feet filled the food hall with noise. I joined their clapping and stomped my foot. I wouldn’t be going with my friends, but I wanted them to know I supported them, one hundred percent. Heads turned to our table, smiling and laughing as they took in the bandaged and lumpy forms of my friends. They jeered and yelled encouragement or jokes about their new scars. The support was overwhelming, and I found myself tearing up.
‘Great to hear your enthusiasm!’ Rima yelled. ‘Now, if you’ll let me, I have one final announcement.’ The hall quieted to whispers. ‘I’d like to thank Aina, Ashoka, Siti, Quinn and Errai for their fine work delaying Ludis’s group. Without them, a very different team would be headed down to Ristar.’
Claps rang through the room, half-deafening me, and the nearest tables vacated as people swarmed us. They circled the table, patting Siti, Quinn and the others on the back or shoulder, wherever they found a bruise- and bandage-free space. Some even congratulated Aina on her brief intelligence-gathering role, and Ashoka got more than his share of thanks. I got some hearty congratulations but also a number of guarded, polite smiles. My heart stilled, and I closed my eyes. I drew in shallow breaths, pushing against the lump in my throat. Some of them would never see me as an asset, even after I’d endured torture for them, and they didn’t deserve my tears.
Quinn caught my hand and squeezed it under the table. I appreciated the effort, but it wasn’t enough.
Cheers went up around us alongside good wishes for the approaching trip. I stared through the nearest wall until everyone sat their asses back in their seats. I didn’t want their empty praise.
I glanced at Rima. Her smile was weak, but it was there. In the coming weeks, she’d be focused on bringing the ship back together, raising morale. I should focus on what came next, too. I pulled my hand free of Quinn’s and stood.
‘I’m going to my room.’
‘Wait a second and I’ll come with you.’
‘That’s okay. I think I need the quiet.’ If I was to support them as best I could from the ship, I had research to do.
* * *
I woke to a buzzing against my wrist and nose. I blinked and pulled my arm away from my face. I’d fallen asleep reading about underwater life for maybe the second time in the last week. Underwater organisms weren’t my favourite topic.
My wrist still buzzed, persistent, so I sat up. The door was buzzing too. I straightened my rumpled clothes and crossed the room to unlock it. When I saw who it was, my jaw dropped.
‘Yara? What are you doing here?’
‘Come with me.’ She grabbed my wrist and yanked me to the elevator.
The doors were closing when I realised it was still third shift. ‘Why are you dragging me around the ship so late?’ If I hadn’t fallen asleep in my clothes, she could have been dragging me around in my underwear.
She glanced at me, a small smile tugging at her lips. ‘So impatient. So predictable.’
I scoffed and peered around her as she pressed a deck number. C-22. ‘I thought the team was leaving at the end of first shift?’
‘We are.’
‘So why are we headed there now? I have research to do. I don’t have time to see the lander, not until I say goodbye.’
Yara sighed, her foot tapping the elevator floor. ‘They wanted a more private goodbye and thought you’d appreciate missing the crowds.’ I expected a glare, but her eyes had softened and she gave me a small smile, one that, for once, looked genuine. ‘I’m sorry about how the crew reacted.’
I pursed my lips. ‘I expected it.’
Yara glanced at my arm and away, to the rising numbers overhead. ‘You did a lot for this ship. I’m disappointed in them, and myself. You’re not as bad as I thought.’
Her lip quirked up at the corner and I found myself smiling back. I never thought I’d see the day Yara apologised.
When the doors opened on C-22, Yara strode ahead to the hold. The deck’s airlock looked as shiny and perfect as it had before the mutiny. I could only hope the radiation nanites were doing as good a job.
‘Airlock is ready to go. Mustn’t be much left to tick off now.’ I looked around but none of the team were on the deck. ‘Is everyone in the lander?’
Yara was already inputting the code. She pulled me into the open airlock and out the other side. Light spilled into the ship’s hold and onto the faces of Lamar, Ratan, Quinn, Ksenia and Siti. I supposed Siti was also here for her goodbyes, or she was helping them pack. A stuffed bag was slung over her shoulder, though I couldn’t see why one of the others wasn’t carrying it. It didn’t look that heavy.
‘Yara said you all wanted to say goodbye?’ I asked.
Quinn stepped forward and pulled me into a tight hug. Then Ratan shook my hand. Ksenia kissed my cheek and Yara even gave me a nod as she rejoined the others.
‘What’s this all about?’
Quinn gestured Siti forward. She unzipped the bag. It was full of my clothes, even a few that were permanently stained reddish brown. She must have gone to my room when I went for dinner. I looked down the line of my friends and colleagues, searching for a twitch, some clue that this was all one big joke. They were
all smiling, but there wasn’t a hint of hate or laughter in it.
Siti stepped forward and draped the bag’s strap over my shoulder. ‘I packed this for you.’
‘Why?’
She took my hand in hers and grinned. ‘Get on the lander, Errai.’ She pushed me toward the airlock. My legs moved on autopilot and I let myself be pushed into a black chair. Quinn bent to secure my bag to the floor, but I put my hand up, stopping him.
‘This is cruel.’
He frowned. ‘What?’
‘This is cruel! I’m no longer a member of the team. You can’t put me through all this preparation. Not when I’m not going with you.’ My voice broke and I swallowed hard to get the words out. ‘I need to focus on what I can do from here, not this.’
Siti pushed Quinn out the way and crouched by my knees. ‘You are going with them, Errai.’
‘I’m not. The vote went against me.’
‘They don’t care. The team refused to go without you.’
‘The committee would never go against the vote.’
Siti chuckled. ‘No, the committee haven’t changed their minds, but we have. We’re sneaking you out. You’re going.’
I turned my eyes to the ceiling. I was going? How could even Yara be behind this plan? ‘I’m a stowaway? How will that even work? Most of the ship will be here to see you off, and then there’s final engineering checks. I can’t just sit here.’
Quinn took my hand and met my eyes. ‘We have a plan. I hate asking you to do it, but it’s the only way. We’ll need you to stay calm, and it’s only for a few hours.’ His voice was slow and even, as if waiting for a panicked reaction, which made my stomach bubble with worry.
‘What do I have to do?’
I glanced between him and Siti. Siti was wringing her hands like she had the day she’d apologised, and Quinn was rubbing the back of his neck. Neither of them wanted to tell me. I looked beyond them, to Yara. Even she was staring at the ground, but Ratan met my eyes.
‘What do I have to do?’ I asked again.
He gestured to the deck. That’s when I realised – he was standing on a panel with a hinge. Oh no. Not again. They wanted me to climb into a cold, black, metal space for hours.
‘Oh no.’ I drew in a deep breath, but the next came quicker, and the next faster again. ‘I can’t.’
Siti rubbed my shoulder. ‘Yes, you can. You have your comm and you can hear us all up here. You won’t be alone. I’ll message you the whole time if it helps.’
My breath calming down, I gave her a limp smile and sighed. I wanted to be on Ristar, but this… ‘Won’t you all get in trouble for sneaking me aboard?’
Quinn shrugged, but Yara was the one who spoke up, arms crossed as if telling off a subordinate. ‘I won’t hear any more excuses. We’ve decided to take any punishments coming our way because we want you with us. Do you want to go, or are you more scared than a tank kid?’ The act failed in the last words as she broke out in a grin.
I grinned back and ran my hand through my hair. What could the committee do to us, really? Once I was gone, I was beyond their reach. They wouldn’t land for months, and that gave them plenty of time to calm down.
‘Okay, I’m in.’ I looked at all of them, so thankful I’d brought them onto my side even if the wider crew were still ambivalent. I had made a difference, just not the one I’d expected. ‘Thank you, all of you.’
I went around each of them, pulling them in for hugs and cheek kisses. Siti made her own rounds and then left, all too soon. The airlocks closed behind her and Ratan opened the panel to the below floor storage area.
I shivered. It looked like a black, open mouth.
‘We’ll tap on the door five times when you’re clear to get out and strap in,’ he said.
I nodded, then stopped. ‘Wait, what about the nanites and my comm? Won’t they realise I’m in the wrong place?’
‘I doubt they’ll think to look since you’ve never broken the rules so badly before,’ Quinn said, ‘but in case they do, we got your mum to cover this shift. The other techies were all too happy to get off and see the launch.’ He rolled his eyes. ‘It’s something of a dream for them to see a spaceship launch into the darkness.’
‘Mum was in on this?’
Quinn nodded. ‘Your dad knows, too.’
I swallowed. That explained why they’d both been cagey the last few days. I’d wondered why they weren’t at my door, encouraging me to get out and be more positive about the situation. They’d known it’d resolve itself.
‘Thank you, again.’
I crouched down, swung my legs over the black gap, and used my hands to lower myself in. There was no headspace, and I had to sit crouched, knees up to my chest with my head slightly to one side. I angled it to see into the lander as they waved and closed the door.
As soon as it clanged shut, my heart rate soared again, and I was right back in the metal coffin of my childhood, but I breathed through it and reasoned it wasn’t as bad as being alone in the lander on Ristar, knowing my friends were dead, or as bad as a plasma torch to the arm. It didn’t help much. My pulse still raced, but my chest had eased. Then my wrist buzzed. I brought up the screen on the lowest light setting and saw a message from Quinn. It was a picture of him grinning like an idiot. Then another one came in with him pulling a silly face. Shortly after, I had a message from Siti about one of my documentaries, and slowly, I stretched out my legs and settled in. This would be okay.
Multiple footsteps passed over my head an hour or so later, hurrying back and forth as bags were thumped onto the ground. Engineers called lists of equipment out and confirmed they were present. Storage straps were checked and double-checked and the hours passed, the rumbles and noises of the ship becoming familiar if not exactly calming.
* * *
I rubbed my arms against the cold and brought my knees back up to my chest. The voices were quieter now, less rushed, and fewer feet moved over my head or further back, in the main cargo hold. Not long now.
Quinn messaged me, confirming the same, and not ten minutes later I heard the thump of the airlock closing and then five stomps on the panel above my head. I stretched my limbs and prepared to climb out of the hole.
The panel opened to the bright lander. I squinted hard against the light and nearly missed a hand reaching down into the darkness. It was Quinn’s, callused and rough from his work in engineering. I grabbed his wrist.
He hauled me out without scratching the sides of the floor and pulled me into a tight hug, burying his head into my neck as he whispered, ‘You did so well. I’m so proud.’ He pressed a kiss into my hair, and I shivered down to my toes.
‘Are you cold? We packed sweaters and coats in your bag. You still have time to get one.’
I smiled and looked around the room at the others, all strapping themselves into their seats. ‘That’s okay. Is it time to strap in already?’
He nodded. ‘Crew are through the ship’s airlock, waiting for us to launch.’
Beeping high-pitched tones came from the direction of the cockpit. That’s when I noticed Lamar was missing. No doubt he’d be our pilot.
‘Is that an alarm?’
‘No, a call from navigation,’ Lamar yelled back. ‘Don’t say anything while I’m on, and stay out of the camera or you’ll ruin our good work.’
I stepped gamely out the way of the cockpit door.
‘Engineering has approved launch,’ Rima said. ‘Please confirm the hold is clear before opening the doors.’
‘Nothing on external cameras,’ Lamar said.
‘Flight plan is locked and checked?’ she asked.
‘At least five times.’
‘Then you’re clear. Mission instructions are in the lander’s computer and there’s a back-up copy in the hold.’
‘Yes, understood.’
A hesitation. Then, ‘Safe travels.’
Lamar shut down the comms and I pulled against my straps to see around the door as the hold’s outer doors slowly
inched open for the first time since we left the solar system. I couldn’t see them, but there had to be thousands of stars and planets and possibilities out there, one of them our new home. I couldn’t wait. I checked Quinn. He was grinning like a complete idiot, almost all his front teeth on show.
‘You look more excited than me.’
‘Not often you see engineering on this scale in practice.’
‘We live on a spaceship.’
‘Never saw it from the outside, though.’
I smiled. He tried to hide it, but he was as awed by this stuff as the techies.
‘Buckle up, team, I’ve got us locked on Ristar and I’m itching to go,’ Lamar said, his fingers over the controls.
Quinn checked my straps and his own and I settled back in the chair, my feet firmly on the ground as I braced for any rattling as we took off.
Yara sat across from me and gave me a nod. Ksenia sat on my other side and patted my knee. They’d all come together to make me feel included. Space the crew, I’d found acceptance right here.
Thrusters engaged with a loud rumble, rocking the lander side to side as Lamar inched us free of the hold. Once clear, the main engines fired, pushing us back into our seats on our way to Ristar. All I could do was smile.
Author Note
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Fatal Glitch is the apocalyptic origin story for this series, taking place more than 500 years before events in Reset, and it’s only available through my mailing list. The prequel stars Ludis’s biological parents, battling the nanite glitch, and its epilogue includes the scene where Ludis watches that fateful final video from his biological mother. You can read it here: http://tiny.cc/4bsghz
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