by Hirukuma
Wait, would that work?
I change into a vending machine that heats up frozen foods, then try refilling my canned products inside my internal microwave. I imagine replenishing my stock the same way I always do—but can I consciously send one of them into that microwave?
This vending machine is my body. I’ve been with it for months already. Please, at least give me this!
With a clattering that echoes through my body, I feel a single can appear.
Yes! I think I’ve got the hang of it, so I drop a towel and a newspaper into there, too.
This is the forbidden secret ceremony of heating up an aluminum can in the microwave! Don’t try this at home, kids!
Frightened by the strange noises I start to hear from inside me, I feel the can launching sparks. I don’t have sensations, but I seem to be able to understand what’s happening in my body.
Oh, the flame lit.
[10 damage. Durability decreased by 10.]
Internal damage really hurts. But now everything is ready.
I drop the canned beverage and the towel, which is beginning to burn, along with the newspaper. And then I allow them to pass through my Force Field!
Out of my compartment flies the burning towel and newspaper-covered canned beverage. It looks as though I just shot a ball of fire.
The fireball is flung outside my Force Field, and as soon as it does, it makes contact with the gas filling the stomach—and causes a huge explosion.
“Please come again.”
[Points decreased by 1,000.]
I can see something dark red scatter in front of me, but my vision is spinning like a top, so I have no idea what’s actually happening.
Ohhh, I think I’m going to be sick! If its stomach exploded, it must be in unimaginable pain right now. Even this eight-legged crocodile, the stratum lord, will eventually breathe its last…right?!
All around me are walls of meat—dark-red, glossy, fleshy meat. The creature seems to be raging as usual, shaking its body intensely. If I had a physical body, I might have thrown up.
I don’t know how much time passes, but at last, the shaking begins to die down. Did the eight-legged crocodile expire? If it did, the problem is how I get out of here.
[Points decreased by 1. Points decreased by 1.]
Ah yes, I know, I know. I still have my Force Field up, so my points are still going down. I’ve raised my toughness, and I think I’ll be able to withstand the pressure from its flesh, but risking it still takes courage. If I go down to hardly any points, though, I’ll have to turn it off anyway.
If that killed the monster, I can’t ask for anything more. I used up a great number of the points I’d saved up, but I’m alive, and that’s all that matters. Or operational, rather, since I’m a vending machine.
I must say, I’ve outdone myself this time. I did so well anyone would forgive me for tooting my own horn. Even vending machines can pull out all the stops when they need to. I think I feel a bit more confident now.
Now I’ll have to wait until Lammis and the others, having gotten away, come back—or until they return to the settlement and put together a hunting party. Also, I’m really glad I don’t have a sense of smell.
At the earliest, half a day—and at the longest, weeks. I’m a vending machine, so staying in one place for a long time is part of the job. I’ll just have to think about what new products to store— Eh?
Wait, the masses of meat filling my view disappeared. I can see the sky and the ground.
Wait, I’m outside, right? The creature’s whole body is just gone. What the heck? I don’t know what’s happening, so I’ll keep Force Field active.
I’m near the marsh we were at earlier. Fissures line the ground, golden light pouring from them. That must be the stratum split phenomenon Hulemy mentioned.
Then I must be outside, right? I look around; long, white connected things are positioned in such a way as to cover me up. This looks like…the eight-legged crocodile’s skeleton.
Did its flesh disappear and leave only its bones? Is this how it works when you beat a stratum lord? The light from the fissures illuminates the crocodile’s skeleton, giving it an almost mystical appearance.
That’s a relief, I guess, but could someone help me up? I’m lying on my side right now, and it’s a little uncomfortable. This kind of situation is a stark reminder of how inconvenient my body can be; I can’t get back up by myself. Vending machines are supposed to stay standing.
Wait. I didn’t realize this because of how bright the light from the fissures is, but there’s a golden coin on the ground in front of me. This isn’t a normal gold coin, is it? The decoration, as far as I can see, is completely different. Something is engraved in intense detail on it—an eight-legged crocodile.
In game terms, this might be the boss drop. You have to kill the boss to get this item, so it must be worth a lot, but I don’t have any arms or legs, so I can’t get it!
It’s inside my Force Field, so I have to make sure nobody steals it. Hulemy probably knows more about this. I won’t give it to anyone until then.
Anyway, I’m out of the belly of the beast, so all there is to be done is laze around and wait for someone to get here.
Hmm. It sort of feels like the ground is still shaking a little, and I can almost hear a creaking sound. It must be my imagination.
Hmmmm. The cracks in the ground run all over, kind of like netting, and the light from them is filling my vision with gold. I’m sure my eyes are just playing tricks on me.
Hmmmmmmm. I must be imagining this slow, sinking feeling—wait, it’s caving in!
Huh? Did the foundation loosen after the commotion? Or is a stratum split just that—the stratum splitting apart?! W-wait a second. If that’s right, when the ground splits, what happens then? W-will I fall?
This is fairly, no—really bad. No two ways about it. Wait, I remember feeling this once before.
Hey, someone! Isn’t anyone with Might here?!
Isn’t there a customer with Might who can easily pick up a vending machine around here?!
“Welcome. Welcome. Welcome,” I repeat, but my words echo fruitlessly in the empty marshland.
I can really feel my gratitude toward Lammis now. I was on my high horse after beating such a strong enemy, but a vending machine is still just a vending machine. I can’t do anything alone.
Oh.
The ground supporting me gives way, and I flip over as I begin to fall.
And in this back-to-the-wall situation, all I can think of is Lammis’s crying face.
Rapid Descent
The earth cracks and collapses.
I’m currently descending rapidly along with earth and sand. When I look up, I can see an earthen ceiling and a big hole in it. The hole isn’t that big, so while I fall, the eight-legged crocodile’s bones avoid falling, the skeleton a covering over the hole.
And when I look down, there are clouds. I have my Force Field up, so I don’t feel the wind force…but I can tell I’m falling incredibly fast!
Whaaat?! Going through the ground into the sky is right out of a fantasy novel!
Ahhh, I’m so high up I can’t see the ground! Ahhh, oh, c-calm down!
First, I have to do something about my current situation. To do that, I need to understand it!
My location: the clouds!
My situation: falling!
The result: crashing and shattering!
It’s over… No, I won’t give up so easily. There’s still time before I crash into the ground. Use your head. Think of a way out of this do-or-die situation.
All I can do is change my features. If I put my vending machine abilities to full use, can I manage somehow, some way?
If I’m descending, then I just need to slow my descent. What vending machine fits the bill? Oh, that!
I go into my list of features and choose Balloon Vending Machine, then change my body accordingly.
These used to be placed on supermarket roofs and in amuse
ment parks a lot, but recently, they’ve become an old rarity you can only find at arcades and the like.
My body is mainly yellow and has a glass window, with lines of uninflated balloons beyond it. A buyer picks the color they want, and when they insert coins, the machine inflates it automatically for them.
Wait, now isn’t the time for explanations! The color doesn’t matter; I have to produce a lot of them.
I set up a balloon, and gas flows into it. A steadily expanding red balloon… No, this is taking far too much time. Can’t I make them any more quickly? Can I increase the speed… Wait, if I raise my speed in my stats, won’t that increase the inflation speed?!
Nothing to lose. No time. Let’s try.
[Spend 10,000 points to raise speed by 10?]
Yeah, do it!
I feel the sensation of something entering me. And the balloon inflation speed… Oh! It’s clearly faster now. It’s over twice as fast as before. What if I increase it more?
[Spend 20,000 points to raise speed by 10?]
That’s an awful markup, isn’t it? Crap. Stupid points, taking advantage of me like this. Nothing good comes without sacrifice. Let’s boost it another ten.
As though I’m watching a video on fast-forward, balloons inflate from start to finish in under two seconds. The inflated balloons stop inside my Force Field, packing the inside full.
Below me, I’ve gotten through the clouds, and I can see the ground… But what’s that? A giant, complicated maze? Come to think of it, Hulemy said something about the strata before. If I recall, the stratum below Clearflow Lake was a maze or something.
Wait, now isn’t the time to look fondly on the past. The labyrinth grows steadily, showing me a clear picture of its entirety. After all, my descent speed really hasn’t changed much.
A few dozen balloons aren’t going to support a vending machine weighing hundreds of pounds. I remember watching a variety show where it took over two thousand balloons just to make one adult float. I didn’t think from the start that balloons could do anything for me.
The labyrinth walls are thick, and I’ve gotten close enough to the ground to realize how immensely tall they are. I seriously have no time left. Well then!
My choice here—I change forms into a cardboard vending machine!
Allow me to explain! A cardboard vending machine is a handmade vending machine made of cardboard that was popular when I was in elementary school! Obsessive things, they were, actually coming with coin insert slots and products; you could press a button to get the product out!
Incidentally, as a vending machine maniac, I’ve bought and created a cardboard vending machine of my own!
That’s right—my body is now made of cardboard. In other words, it’s now light enough for this number of balloons to support it.
Phew! I made it. Thanks to all the balloons inside my Force Field, my speed of descent decreases rapidly, and I slowly fall toward the ground.
When I saw the Cardboard Vending Machine option in my feature list, I thought I’d never, ever take it. I had no idea it would serve me so well to the point where it saved my life. You really never know where life will take you.
Now that I finally have some time to think, I’ll enjoy the scenery below.
The giant circular maze’s walls are gray, probably made of stone. The passages travel in straight lines and curves, creating a fairly complex web. I’ll record it on my surveillance camera while I can still see the entire thing.
I’m still high up, so I don’t know its exact size, but even the narrower passages look wide enough to fit several of me across.
I see it has a plaza-like area and a pond, too. I wonder how much it would cost to make something like this back on Earth.
The stratum I was on before is the Clearflow Lake stratum, and if I remember right, the one below it is the maze stratum. I feel like it had an official name, but Hulemy kept calling it the maze stratum, so it’s all I can remember.
She said this stratum is fairly troublesome and very difficult, instinctively disliked by hunters. Naturally occurring treasure chests exist inside, so you can get rich quick here, but there are also a lot of enemies and traps. Plus, the roads are a maze, so apparently more than a few hunters have starved to death after losing track of which direction they were traveling in.
I’m looking down at it from above, so I can see exactly how evil this intricate maze really is.
Ah, looks like I’m landing soon. If land on top of a wall, nobody will come to buy my products. Wait— Ohhh, the tops of the walls are pointed, making it impossible to climb them.
It looks like I’ll land in a larger passage at this rate, close to the wall. Hmm. I don’t honestly know what would be correct, so I’ll let nature take its course. It looks like I’ll come down close to the labyrinth’s center.
The passage walls are taller than I thought. They stand dozens of yards above the ground. They’re considerably thick, too. They’re big as five-story housing complexes, and are what makes this place a labyrinth.
I wobble and float down the side of the wall, and somehow manage to land cleanly. Let’s get back to my regular vending machine form.
The floor and walls both look to be made of stone, but there are no seams whatsoever. No lights on the walls, either, so it’ll probably get dark really fast once the sun goes down.
This passage looks about 150 or 200 feet long, and it goes for a long time to the left and right. Based on what I could see from above, this is like a main road that travels through the labyrinth’s center; maybe it’s likely I’ll meet hunters here.
It should be easy enough for Lammis and the others to find once they come to get me. It looks like I’ll be living here for a while.
Normally no one is eccentric enough to want to save a vending machine, but Lammis will come for sure. I fell from a stratum split, so anyone would understand that normally, things were hopeless, whether you were a person or a vending machine.
Even so, I just know that Lammis will come for me.
I have a debt to Director Bear, too, and if the Menagerie of Fools wants me on their team, they’ll probably be aggressively searching for me. They might even offer to help Lammis under the condition that she joins them.
If she tries to do something reckless, Hulemy should stop her. I want her to come save me, but on the other hand, I don’t want her to force herself too much. I know it’s contradictory, but that’s what I feel.
First off, thinking about how to survive here is my first priority. There’s always a chance that other hunters will come along and rescue me.
Great, then I’ll start by inspecting my surroundings. I only got a quick glance, so a careful investigation will get me information I’ll need to survive.
I’m currently near the wall of a large passage. The path extends to the left and right, but it goes too far for me to see the end. They’re both straight paths, but several smaller ones appear to branch off from it.
At the moment, I haven’t spotted any monsters. From my bird’s-eye view, I saw some fairly large ones here, but I don’t think there was anything in this big passage. Maybe this is a safe zone in the maze.
Anyway, the thing I’m most worried about is the coin with the eight-legged crocodile picture on it in front of me on the ground. It was still in the Force Field when I fell here, so it got brought down as well.
What a dilemma—the coin looks valuable, but I can’t reach out to get it. If someone I’ve never seen before comes along and takes it away, all my products would heat up so much they’d be burning hot.
I want to get it somehow, but as a vending machine, I can’t do anything. Sigh. For now, I’ll go back over my abilities and points for survival purposes. During my fight with the eight-legged crocodile, I used up a lot of the money we robbed from the thieves.
[Vending Machine: Boxxo]
DUR 200/200
TGH 50
STR 0
SPD 20
DEX 0
MAG 0
<
br /> PT 1,020,698
{Features} Cold Retention, Heat Retention, Omnidirectional Vision, Hot-Water Dispenser (Cup Ramen Mode), Two-Liter Support, Candy-Roll Vending, Paint Change, Boxed-Item Support, Vending Machine Surveillance Camera, Oxygen Vending Machine, Magazine Vending Machine, Gas Vending Machine, Cardboard Vending Machine
{Blessings} Force Field
With this much durability and toughness, I shouldn’t break very easily. I think my speed will increase how quickly I dispense products and warm them. I’ll have to experiment with that later.
As for other changes… Hmm? Is this a bug? My point display doesn’t quite make sense. One, ten, a hundred, a thousand, ten thousand, a hundred thousand, a million… A million?!
Wait, I, uh, um, whaaat?! Why do I have a million points? I don’t recall doing anything illegal to get them.
What’s that all about? I get points from exchanging coins, right? I thought that’s what the explanation said. The message said I could get points from money. Let’s check again.
[You can convert 100 yen to 1 point.]
Right. It says here I can exchange money for points. But—it doesn’t say there isn’t any other way of gaining points.
What if points are originally things you get from beating enemies? In video games, you usually get experience points or skill points when you beat them. Maybe exchanging money with points is the anomaly here, and you’re supposed to defeat bad guys to get them.
In that case, all these points came from defeating the stratum lord, the eight-legged crocodile, which makes sense.
I see. There are ways to get points other than using up money. The more you know—but I don’t think I’ll have another chance to kill monsters. The stars happened to align this time, but that’ll never happen again.