Reborn as a Vending Machine, I Now Wander the Dungeon, Vol. 2

by Hirukuma

  Surrounded by the Voracious Devils as they drift off into relieved slumber, I keep my eyes on the side path the Flame Skeletitan disappeared into.

  “Don’t go too far right. Left—little more to the left.”

  They push my body carefully according to Mikenne’s instructions. The ground is a mess of holes and hills, so we advance in search of a flat spot. Despite this going on since the morning, the sky is already darkening before we manage to get out of the collapsed area.

  We didn’t make much progress today, but we’ll be on flat ground starting tomorrow, so our speed should increase. If that Flame Skeletitan shows up again, I’ll just have to buy them time somehow.

  I don’t need any more excitement today. I’d like to spend a night in safety.

  While I think about this, I’m working overtime as they buy products, one after another. I’m providing them at fairly cheap prices, but I’m starting to worry about their wallets. Won’t this put the continued existence of their group in danger?

  As always, once they’re full, their caution seems to diffuse, and they plop down to sleep without leaving a lookout. Still, I think they’ll wake up right away if they sense enemies or hear noises, so if I make a warning sound, they’ll jump awake.

  It sure is quiet tonight. This wide passage lined with giant walls has a certain atmosphere about it. It’s night, so the only light is from my body; a bit farther away, it’s pitch-black.

  My light is too conspicuous, so I’ll turn it off. Darkness settles in completely, and the only thing I can hear is their breathing as they sleep. Ah, it’s so quiet it’s a little scary. But just having someone else nearby lessens my unease a bit.

  If I were human and actually alone here, I might have really gone insane in a situation like this. That’s how isolated this place is—it gives me an instinctive terror.

  If I had the ability to sense presences or something, it might have been different, but… Oh, come to think of it, there was an interesting feature here. If I remember right, it was around here— There it is, the motion detector.

  I could do something like dim my lights at night when nobody is around, then turn them on fully only when the motion sensor picks something up. Oh, but I don’t need something like this, do I? I can adjust it all manually when I decide to anyway.

  So I thought of a few different things, but watching them sleep that peacefully soothes my soul and makes me not care anymore. Hmm. Being near them makes me feel like their parental guardian.

  I have to make sure I, at least, don’t let down my guard. I can’t see very much in the darkness, so I just pay attention to the sounds. And then I hear something faint.

  I locate the direction it came from, eyes peeled, ears ready. It was a small swishing noise, but it doesn’t end; it keeps flowing. It sounds kind of like when the heat is on in a stove.

  It’s coming from the left, a short distance away. I can’t see in the dark, but I think I remember that spot being the entrance to a side path.

  A faint light comes through the darkness. It looks like it’s flickering; maybe it’s a lit flame to guide the way. I’d better wake them up.

  “Welcome,” I say at a low volume, fearing that I’ll be overheard.

  “Mmm…meat…just twenty more…”

  “Mikenne, Short…you can’t do that… You’re both boys…”

  I can hear them talking in their sleep. Also, it sounded like Suco was shipping Mikenne and Short as a couple in her dreams, but I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that.

  They don’t seem like they’re going to wake up. Wait, I can’t leave them like this, so I’ll turn it up a little.

  “Please come again.”

  “Vaaahhh! Wh-wh-what?!”

  I’m glad Mikenne jumped awake for me, but he’s too loud.

  His shout wakes everyone else up, and they look around in a fluster. At this point, the mysterious source of light must know we’re here. It’s growing steadily brighter, proving that they’re getting closer.

  “It’s enemies, everyone, get ready to run!”

  I have to say, I don’t hate their style of choosing escape over battle every time. It’s better than a lot of reckless, foolhardy hunters out there. As the Voracious Devils make ready their escape, a skull wrapped in flames, about the size of an adult human head, appears.

  “A flame scoll! We need to deal with it quick, or it’ll call the Flame Skeletitan!”

  “W-water! Someone hit it with a lot of water!”

  That flaming skull is with the stratum lord? If this thing calls it, we’ll have no chance of winning. Water—we need water, right? I quickly drop a two-liter bottle of mineral water into my compartment.

  “Huh? Water? Water came out of the magic box!”

  “We’re in luck! Suco, give it here!”

  Look, Short, I’d love it if you stopped putting these things down to luck. They don’t even consider that I, a vending machine, might have a mind. I think it’s about time to figure it out. I drop another plastic bottle off, tinged with resignation.

  Once they all have a two-liter bottle, they seem to have trouble removing the cap right away with their claws, so they chop the top part off instead.

  All of them charge forward with plastic bottles in hand, moving closer faster than I expected, before splattering the bottles’ contents all over the flying skull.

  The skull’s flames, hit by four helpings of water, go out completely. Without its defenses, Mikenne delivers a bite to the skull, shattering and destroying it easily. When the flames go out, it’s pretty fragile, isn’t it?

  I’ve only seen them running away before now, so I didn’t know their true strength, but they have fairly quick movements. Maybe they’re actually pretty strong. You wouldn’t think so from their normal behavior, though.

  I’m glad we defeated the flame scoll, but they seem to be cautious, watching to see if it called any reinforcements. If the big one comes, they’ll have no choice but to run, after all.

  After keeping a lookout for a while and making sure nothing else is coming, they decide to take turns standing guard through the night. I hope I can relax a little now while I watch over them.

  Reunion

  The eventful night passes, and after wolfing down another huge breakfast, they—unusually—begin to make preparations. Typically, they’re more likely to laze around until they get hungry.

  After experiencing that fight, even the Voracious Devils seem to have learned something, and they stuff mineral water into their backpacks.

  “We can beat the flame scolls if we pour water on them, so let’s each take one.”

  “Also, let’s take a bunch of food. Whenever we’re away from this box, I get hungry.”

  Pell prioritizes his appetite above all else, but he’s right, so everyone nods and chooses products. Meat won’t keep, so I line my shelves with sweets and other canned goods that will.

  “This magic box is amazing. It has meat when we want to eat meat, and now it has stuff that will last a long time for us. It’s almost like it has a mind of its own.”

  Ohhh, Pell, do you finally understand? Will I be able to communicate with them at last?

  “Welcome.”

  “Nah, can’t be. See? It’s still only saying Welcome.”

  Mikenne rejects the thought outright, waving a hand in front of his face. Dammit. Next time you buy karaage, I’m making it ice-cold.

  Sigh. I knew better. If I could say yes and no right now, even they’d figure it out, but welcome just won’t cut it.

  They aren’t going to harm me in any way, so I suppose this is enough. For now, my goal is to have them bring me close to the maze’s entrance, then get those from the Clearflow Lake stratum to find me.

  I do want to give them something as thanks when the time comes. But they might be happier if I lower the prices when they buy an item from me.

  “Okay, everyone, let’s give it our best today!”

  “Yeah!”

  Ahh, they really calm me down. We
’re in danger of monsters sauntering around, but just watching the Voracious Devils makes me want to grin. If I wasn’t a vending machine, my face would look awful right now.

  They take turns pushing me forward until we spy a raised dust cloud a fair distance away. Is someone fighting? There’s too much distance between us, so I can’t even make out whether they’re people or monsters.

  “Hey, it looks like someone’s fighting up there. What should we do?”

  Mikenne noticed it, too. Everyone stops and cranes forward to look.

  “I can’t really see it, but I definitely hear fighting.”

  “Yep, yep. I can hear it, too.”

  “I think they’re hunters. There’s a bunch of them.”

  And I… No, I can’t hear anything. They must have pretty good ears.

  “What should we do? Join them and help them out?”

  “If we do that, won’t they steal this magic item?”

  “But wait, won’t it be hard to get out of the maze alone?”

  “Yeah. Getting through alive is what matters. It might be worth it to negotiate, too.”

  They quarrel for a moment but seem to reach the conclusion that if the hunters fighting are having a rough time, helping them and placing them in their debt would earn them good treatment.

  “I’ll go ahead and check on them first. We have to see if it’s possible to negotiate. You can all take it easy, so bring that closer.”

  “All right. Be careful, Short.”

  “Leave it to me.”

  Short jumps out ahead, and in the blink of an eye, he’s tiny in the distance.

  We proceed slowly, watching the situation as the three of them push. The combatants are still small as rice grains, and I can only barely make out limbs. I can’t tell what they are at all.

  “It looks like the hunters have an advantage.”

  “Do you hear that one making a weird voice?”

  “Yep, they’re yelling something I don’t understand. Is it a girl?”

  Making a weird voice while fighting? Maybe they have a unique way of grunting during attacks. Hammer throwers always make their throws while shouting things you can’t understand. I hear it lets you put more force into it.

  Slowly, slowly, we approach, until we see a shadow rushing toward us at a breakneck speed. I peel my eyes—it’s Short.

  “Hey, everyone, Director Bear is over there! I talked to him! We should hurry!”

  “What? From the Hunters Association in Clearflow Lake?”

  “I wonder why he came to a lower stratum.”

  “But that means we’re saved. Director Bear will listen to what we have to say, and the hunters won’t steal the treasure we took.”

  They’re all giving expressions of relief as they banter, but I’m just as relieved as they are. Director Bear is here? We’re saved…and that means Lammis is probably here, too.

  I prepare myself for her bawling or her rage again, deciding to humor her and accept it. It’s proof she was worried about me, after all.

  “Oh, right. One of those hunters is crazy. It’s this human who keeps screaming Boxxoooooo and smashing crag fiends with her bare hands.”

  As I thought, Lammis is with them, too. I must be really worrying her. I’ll just have to meekly accept whatever abuse or lecturing comes my way.

  “No way! Humans can’t break crag fiends with their bare hands.”

  “No, Pell, it’s true. And she’s a short woman, too. And she was saying other things as well, like All he ever does is make me worry and I won’t be satisfied until I give him a good punch and stuff.”

  …If I protect myself with Force Field, she’ll probably get mad. Is my toughness high enough? …Maybe I’ll increase it some more, just in case.

  “Wait, did this box suddenly get heavier? It’s hard to move now.”

  “Oh yeah, you’re right. It’s really heavy.”

  It’s your imagination.

  As conflicting emotions of wanting to see her and not wanting to see her swirl inside me, I’m brought to where they’re still fighting.

  “Huh? Boxxoooooo!”

  As soon as we’re close enough to see each other, the hunters’ battle ends. When Lammis sets her eyes on me, she begins to run, her feet pounding dents into the ground, charging for me.

  Her stomping is breaking the ground! You’re coming in too hot! What if I fly away from all the momentum?!

  From several yards away, Lammis spreads her arms and slides the rest of the distance. Force Field… No, I can’t. If I pushed away a girl crying and leaping at me, I’d be a failure as a man, not a vending machine.

  The only option I have…is to take the hit!

  I watch her crying face swiftly approach. I-I’ll be fine—my toughness is all the way up to fifty. At least, that’s what I keep telling myself.

  A thud loud enough to make the air tremble fills the area, the shock wave born of the collision knocking the Voracious Devils off their feet.

  [10 damage. Durability decreased by 10.]

  Guhahhh. T-to think ten damage would make it through despite how much I’ve increased my toughness!

  “Boxxo! You idiot! I believed in you! I knew you weren’t broken!”

  [2 damage. Durability decreased by 2.]

  M-my, Lammis, how you’ve grown. Also, could you please stop banging on me like that?

  I consider saying something so that she’ll get off me, but when I look at her crying with her tear-streaked face pressed up against me, I decide I need to be silent and endure it.

  I have to accept her feelings for as long as she needs to be satisfied.

  [3 damage. Durability decreased by 3.]

  But I will secretly repair myself.

  After overcoming her viselike embrace, she calms down, and the rest of the crew comes running up. A line of familiar faces appears.

  “Damn, you made us worry. Phew. But I believed in you, too. I knew you’d be safe.” Hulemy puts her forehead on me and hits me lightly with a fist. She must have really been worried—her voice sounds unusually weak.

  “We meet again, Boxxo.”

  “Nothing’s broken, I hope. If you broke, where would that leave us? Don’t you get it? You even made my beloved girlfriend worry.”

  The gatekeepers Gorth and Karios came to rescue me, too? Maybe there’s a way to ask Lammis to set me up next to the gate next time as thanks.

  “Man, Boxxo, are you a sight for sore eyes. If we hadn’t found you…”

  “That was a close one, huh, White?”

  “You’re right, Red…”

  The men in the Menagerie of Fools breathe a sigh of relief, their shoulders relaxing. Wait, what is this reaction supposed to mean?

  “It’s excellent that you’re safe, Mr. Boxxo. When we told Ms. Lammis that we left you behind…”

  “She got super mad at the captain. I wonder what would have happened if we didn’t find you…”

  After hearing an explanation from the vice captain, Filmina, and the archer, Shui, I understand. Did this girl sitting at my feet, staring up at me, threaten you? I’m sorry for the trouble.

  “Boxxo. How is it you’re safe? I’ve never heard of anyone surviving after falling through a stratum split,” says Director Bear, looking at me from top to wheels.

  Falling from that height would normally kill you instantly. A vision of such a future had occurred to me, too.

  “Director, Director, it’s been so long!”

  The Voracious Devils finally recover from being blown away by the shock wave and surround Director Bear.

  “Ohhh, the entire Band of Gluttons is here. Not only did you locate Boxxo, but you protected him as well? You have my thanks.”

  Hmm? Wait, the Voracious Devils… Are they just calling themselves whatever they want?

  “Wait, Director, what’s a Boxxo?”

  “I can’t blame you for not knowing, Mikenne. This magic item is called Boxxo, a resident of the Clearflow Lake stratum.”

  “A resident?”r />
  The (self-proclaimed) Voracious Devils, aka the Band of Gluttons, all tilt their heads in confusion.

  Director Bear sees me, a vending machine, as a resident? I’ve been too blessed with the people I’ve happened to meet after coming to this alternate world. Sheesh. I hope no water starts leaking out of sheer happiness.

  “Yes, a resident. He lives in the settlement in Clearflow Lake.”

  “But wait, this is a convenient magic item, not…”

  “Ah, right. You must not have realized it. Boxxo is capable of communicating. Right, Boxxo?”

  “Welcome.”

  “But Director, all it ever says is ‘Welcome.’”

  “Boxxo can only say a few different things. Welcome means yes. And Too bad means no.”

  The Gluttons don’t seem to believe Director Bear’s explanation, and they look at me through narrowed eyes.

  “Um, Boxxo, right? Was the first thing the Voracious Devils ate the fried meat?”

  “Welcome.”

  “Okay then, is my name Short?”

  The chubby one is Pell, so that gets a “Too bad.”

  “N-no way. Wait, then you could understand everything we were saying?”

  “Welcome.”

  Their jaws nearly hit the ground, and their perfectly black eyes widen so much they might fall out.

  Well, they never thought even for a moment that it was possible to communicate with me.

  Their shock, having convinced themselves that they’d be receiving a great sum of money as a reward, is significant, and Director Bear continues his explanation, but they’re not listening anymore.

  Ah, right. I’ll give you karaage for free later as payment for carrying me, so will that be enough for you?

  Operation and Subjugation

  “Boxxo, I’d like a word with you. Have you the time?”

  There was no time between the reunion and evening, and as everyone assembled at one side of the main passage and began to make camp, Director Bear came to me.

  Oh, that’s right. About the Band of Gluttons—they seem to have accepted Director Bear’s offer of a special reward, and they’re sleeping happily now, bellies full of fried chicken.