Accidentally in Love With a God (2012)

by Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

  “Humans, Emma, are destroying this world. They’re like radioactive cockroaches. I’m simply giving fate a hand, taking out the trash before the planet is irreparable.”

  I remembered Guy mentioning that the gods were hardwired to protect humans, even if they got tired of it. Chaam’s wiring had gotten crossed.

  “What about the other gods? What will they do when they get out?”

  “They’re not going anywhere. And besides, after the energy’s been released, what can they do? They can’t bring back all of those people—in fact, the other gods might thank me for freeing them from their tedious eternal duties of rescuing the stupid humans.”

  “I think you’re wrong. I think when Guy is set free, he’ll spend the rest of eternity kicking your arrogant, repugnant ass.”

  He arched one brow and then stuck out his lower lip in a pout. “Oh. The little Payal doesn’t like me. I thought you might be a good candidate for immortality and sack-play, but alas…” His smile was evil incarnate. “The little primate wishes to join her grandmother. Fine with me, I have a thousand others to choose from.”

  “Grandmother? You killed my grandmother?”

  I wanted to jump on his head and pound it into the stone floor. What kind of sick animal could hurt a sweet old woman like her? For heaven’s sake, he was her father.

  “Oh yes, Emma. She was so full of light. It amazed me how long she held on. Hours and hours of torture. Can you see it in your mind? Of course, she came to me well-primed since her own sister lured her to me and betrayed her. I made sure to repeat that fact several times. The angrier, the better. More dark fuel.”

  There it was. The answer I’d been looking for. My darkest fears confirmed. My poor grandmother had been tortured and then killed by Chaam. Could I ever tell my mom such a thing? Would I ever get the chance? Not likely. Perhaps it was for the best. Then there was the horrible truth about Rosa and Arturo. They’d lured Grandma to her death. I partially wished Guy’d let them live, so I could have kill them myself.

  Oh, sweet Virgin of Guadalupe. I gasped. I was filling with hatred, just like he wanted.

  He continued his malevolent banter, “Well, look at that.” He bent down and peered into my eyes. “Already turning colors. Once they’re black, you’ll be all ready to go.”

  “Fuck you! I hope Guy rips your heart from your body and makes you choke on it.”

  “Good girl. Let that darkness in.” He pounded on the door and it swung opened. “See you at the top of the pyramid, baby.”

  I felt sick to my stomach. Everything I’d ever loved would soon be gone. And stupid, stupid me. I could have stopped this. I almost deserved to die. If Darwin were still alive, I’m sure I’d get his vote.

  Well, I wasn’t going to go down without a fight; I’d claw and kick until my last breath. And if I couldn’t fight my way free, I certainly wasn’t going to help Chaam by becoming his biofuel. My last act would be one I could be proud of. I would think of everything and everyone I loved, every good memory in my life. Chaam would be hard pressed to squeeze even a drop of darkness from me.

  I planted myself on the floor, sitting with my legs crossed. I closed my eyes and began playing the sunniest memories of my life. I pictured my parents and every wonderful thing about them; how they’d always cared, no matter how bonkers I acted. I thought about my grandmother, her soft hands, the floral smell of her hair when she hugged me. Her laughter. I thought about my friends, Nick, Jess, and Anne and their outrageous appetite for life, including their relentless belief that someday I’d get a date. Then I thought about Guy singing Madam Butterfly and how my life-long friend, guardian, and tormenter had been a real, live god. I thought about him screaming he loved me.

  “If by some miracle any of you can hear me…I love you, too, and I’m sorry I let everyone down.”

  Chapter THIRTY-NINE

  In all his years, Guy had never seen anything like it.

  “It’s like that bloody show Emma used to watch, Star Trek.” Guy scratched the black stubble sprouting along his jaw while Gabrán’s men attempted to penetrate the transparent wall with various objects. Daggers, sticks, they even threw a few rocks. Nothing went through, and it was too high to climb over. “Damned evil bastards have a bloody force field.”

  Gabrán spouted, “Thanks to help from one o’ you.”

  Guy grunted. He still had a hard time believing one of the gods was involved. But Gabrán was right; this kind of energy manipulation was divine in origin.

  Guy, Gabrán, and the men were finally forced to weave through the never-ending maze of invisible walls the Maaskab had erected around the perimeter of their village by feeling their way until an opening appeared. Then they walked for hours more until they found another. A painfully slow process. It was well past nightfall by the time they arrived to the outskirts of the Maaskab village.

  “Where is everyone?” Guy whispered. The village appeared eerily vacant. The thatched roof huts were dark inside and only the crickets chirped.

  “I don’t know,” Gabrán replied. “But we cannot go in tonight. My men need rest before we fight.”

  Guy couldn’t wait; he needed to know Emma was still alive. If he had to, he’d tear the village apart stone by stone with his bare hands to find her.

  Stubborn girl, why had she broken the bond? It would have helped him sense her direction. In the end, maybe it didn’t matter. The Maaskab would have slathered her in that black powder to block their connection.

  Guy looked at Gabrán. “Stay here, I’m going to walk the perimeter and see what that big structure from the photo is.”

  Gabrán cursed. “Take Brutus, then. That way I ken see for myself watcha find, and he ken call to us if ya get in teh trouble.”

  The bond between Gabrán and this particularly unique team of elite Uchben soldiers came in extremely handy for times like these. Like each of the chiefs, they had been handpicked by the gods to be given the gift of immortality and undergo nearly a century of rigorous training. They lived, ate, studied, and sparred as one, and were personally taught the art of war, telepathy, and mind sharing by Guy.

  For their dedication and self-sacrifice, the elite Uchben, like Brutus, were rewarded with seats on the Uchben Council and would someday become chiefs themselves. To Guy, it seemed like so little—after all, they had to relinquish their mortality, couldn’t have ties with the outside world, or take a wife—but their willingness to make such sacrifices spoke volumes about their belief in the Uchben mission.

  Guy and Brutus inched their way around the perimeter of the quiet, rancid smelling village, passing empty huts, unlit fire pits, and vacant stone structures. Where had they all gone?

  They continued on until they reached the northern end of the village where the two men stood speechless as their eyes registered the colossal structure in front of them.

  “Is that what I think it is?” Guy asked.

  Brutus nodded.

  “Did you show Gabrán?”

  Brutus nodded again.

  Guy gaped for several moments. It was nighttime, but he could easily make out the immense black pyramid and sense the darkness seeping from between the black stones. “What in the world could it be for?” The poisonous smell was strangely familiar; it held the odor of evil, death, and hatred…the absence of light.

  “It smells like the cenote where I was trapped,” said Guy.

  There was a rustle from fifty yards away. Tommaso emerged from the jungle, moving toward the structure. Guy’s eyes locked in on him, and within the space of a heartbeat, Guy was on top of Tommaso, flooding the man’s body with a burst of energy. Tommaso fell limp on contact and Guy dragged him back behind the trees where Brutus was waiting.

  Brutus stared at Guy, his eyes wide with shock.

  “What?” Guy asked.

  “Did you just sift through the air?” Brutus asked.

  Guy didn’t realize it, but he had.

  “Must be something about this place.” Guy glared down at Tommaso.
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  Brutus nodded and then his focus turned to the traitor. He pulled out a long, sharp blade. “Must be Christmas. Here, let me open that for you.”

  “Not yet. But, soon,” Guy replied and lifted Tommaso.

  ***

  Guy stared with lethal fury at Tommaso as he awoke in the dirt then slowly moved his head from side to side, seemingly oblivious to the man emptying his canteen over his head or to Guy who’d just finished sharpening a very large blade.

  “Where the hell is she?” Guy growled. He jumped on Tommaso, legs straddled over him, and dug the blade into Tommaso’s neck.

  Tommaso cackled. “Right about now? Dead.”

  Guy pushed the dagger into Tommaso’s flesh, drawing a trickle of blood. “You’d better hope for your sake that she’s still alive.”

  “Kill me. Go ahead. I don’t give a shit. Because tonight, the reservoir will be full, and we have more than enough Payals to complete the job.”

  Job? What job? Guy swiftly raked the blade across Tommaso’s chest, cupping one hand over the his mouth to stifle the scream. “I’ll give you a choice, Tommaso. You can tell me where Emma is, and I’ll grant you a clean death.” Guy bent over him and whispered into his ear. “Or, my dear friend, you can withhold the information and live a very, very long time. We’ll pump you full of medicine; we’ll do everything to keep that heart of yours strong and healthy so I can enjoy torturing you every minute of every day for the rest of your life. Your hell will be endless, without mercy. Now, where’s my Emma?”

  “Your Emma?” Tommaso laughed. “Chaam made the Payals, she belongs to him.”

  Chaam? All this time it was his brother Chaam? He was always competitive and domineering. But never in a millennium would Guy have suspected this of his brother, the God of Male Virility, whose only focus in life seemed to be perfecting the art of seduction, answering the prayers of sad, awkward young men pining for the prom queen, or helping human males maintain their macho identity—tireless, brutal work, no doubt—but regardless, Chaam wasn’t the coldhearted type.

  Thank the gods that they were not really related—not in the traditional sense anyway—because if they were, Guy didn’t think he could handle hating himself any more than he already did.

  “She belongs to me! Where?” Guy dragged the blade deeper over the same wound.

  “On top of the pyramid. But, you’d better hurry.” Tommaso laughed wickedly. “Chaam really enjoys making the Payals bleed when he juices them. They don’t last long.”

  Guy suddenly understood. Pyramid. Reservoir. Payals. Juice.

  He turned to Brutus in horror. “The pyramid is made from that black jade, it’s a giant jar.”

  Tommaso laughed again. “All this fuss over Emma—she’s nothing. Fertilizer.”

  Guy plunged his knife into Tommaso’s chest. “A deal is deal. Enjoy your death.”

  Relief swept across Tommaso’s face as blood spurted from the gaping hole. “I’m sorry,” he muttered.

  That was an unexpected response. Guy turned and bolted for the pyramid. He didn’t care if he had to face five-hundred Scabs on his own. If his body was destroyed, he’d be sent back to the cenote. But Emma…

  Guy reached the base of the structure and sifted to the top where he spotted Emma lying over a torch lit altar with Chaam gripping a knife.

  “Stop singing, you stupid bitch!” Chaam screamed, slicing the blade down her leg. “You’re going to stop this instant! Do you hear me! Turn those eyes dark, dammit.”

  Though bound to the altar with ropes, she was wiggling her toes, smiling, and singing—wailing, actually, “Ain’t nothin’ gonna break my stride. Nobody gonna slow me down, oh no! I got to keep on movin’…”

  Mathew Wilder? Leave it to Emma to save herself with corny Eighties music.

  He shifted behind Chaam and plunged his dagger deep into Chaam’s neck. “Get away from her!” The two men rolled to the ground in a blur of fists, blood, and knives.

  “You can’t kill me, you idiot. I’m immortal!” howled Chaam. “And you won’t be able to fight us all.”

  From the corner of his eye, Guy noted the tall black silhouettes materializing on the platform. “Oh shit.” The Maaskab were coming in droves.

  In that very same instant, Gabrán’s team appeared and began fighting. Brutus had undoubtedly alerted them.

  Guy turned his entire focus back on Chaam whose once turquoise eyes were now black, empty. No goodness remained in his soul.

  Guy’s instincts to protect the human world screamed for Chaam’s death. And yet, his brother was right; there was no way to kill him. But he could…

  As the two continued rolling, each struggling to get the upper hand, Guy’s eyes flashed to the gaping black hole the size of a water well opening just under the altar. The reservoir’s entrance, he surmised.

  If a tiny jar floating inside a cenote was sufficient to keep Guy imprisoned for seventy years, he had to believe that being thrown into the heart of this black jade pyramid would render Chaam completely inert. Maybe there’d be some eternal suffering involved, too. Plenty of stored dark energy from his victims.

  One could only hope.

  Guy channeled his rage, thinking of all who had suffered at the hands of his cruel brother, including Gabriela. He rolled Chaam onto his back and released the energy from his body. The surge hurled Guy back several feet, but left Chaam stunned. Guy quickly scrambled to his feet, dragged Chaam to the opening, and threw him down.

  He didn't pause to revel. Instead, he turned to Emma who was laughing hysterically. Had she finally snapped? “Emma! Are you okay?” He looked into her eyes. No one was home, except for the karaoke star. “Wake me up, before you go go…” she began singing. Guy cringed. Gods, he hated Wham!

  Guy tore a strip of cloth from his shirt and bound Emma’s leg. The cut had been inflicted for pain, but wasn’t lethal, yet. He untied her and pulled her into his chest for quick moment, thinking. He needed to get Emma somewhere safe, quiet, away from the overwhelming energy of the pyramid, but the only way down was blocked. The Uchben were lined up at the top of the pyramid’s steps, fighting the never-ending swarm of dark priests.

  He thought of sifting, but he didn’t know what would happen; this power was completely unfamiliar to him, and she was already in such a fragile state. Down the steps it is. “Emma! Wake up! I need you to wake up, honey! I have to fight with the men or we won’t get out of here.” He shook her, but she remained incoherent, singing and smiling.

  “Gods dammit, woman! Wake the hell up!” he screamed into her face.

  “Oh, Cupcake,” Emma said with a giggle. “I missed you. Tell me a story.” She poked the tip of Guy’s nose.

  Was she drunk? He paused for a quick moment. Maybe he needed to try a different approach. He bent down, still holding her tightly, and whispered in her ear, “Emma, honey. I’m sorry for everything. You were right. I’m a lying, arrogant, selfish, bastard. And I’m sorry I treated you like a child. I’m sorry I hurt you. I love you, and I’ll never do it again. Please wake up? Please?” He gently kissed her lips, and then pulled away, grasping her shoulders to see her face.

  She snapped her eyes shut tightly for several moments before they popped open, wide with shock. “Do you really love me?”

  “Yes. Very much.” He nodded and then cupped her face. “And I’ll spend eternity proving it to you.”

  She stepped away from him, confused. “Where the hell am I?” Her gaze shifted to the vicious tangle of Gabrán’s Uchben team battling the priests then to her wrist. The realization hit her. “Oh, my gods.” She cupped her hands over her mouth. “Where’s that bastard brother of yours? I’m going to tear his balls off!”

  Guy made a quick sigh of relief. Emma was back. “Honey, please. I need you to listen to me. We need to—”

  “No,” she interrupted, her eyes were filled with rage. “You listen to me! That son of bitch tortured me. He killed my grandmother and thousands of other women. Take this damned bracelet off me, and tell
me where the hell is he.” She held out her wrist, panting furiously.

  He grabbed the solid stone cuff with both hands and squeezed until it cracked, falling to the ground.

  “Thanks.” Emma rubbed her wrist. “Now let me at him.”

  “My sweet, he’s been shoved down that very, very dark hole underneath the altar, and I doubt he’s ever coming out.”

  “Oh. You mean he’s dead?” Emma asked.

  “No, but I bet he wishes he was, and so will you if we don’t get out of here. Gabrán’s men can’t hold back the priests much longer; they were already running on fumes when we arrived.”

  Just then, a priest sifted between them with his back to Emma, a black jade dagger raised toward Guy. In one swift motion, Emma raised her hand and released a surge of energy. With a loud crack, the priest literally ripped in half, down the length of his body. The two sides fell in opposite directions, his innards steaming.

  “Holy crap, woman! What was that?” Guy stared down at the twitching right half of the body. He was morbidly shocked and incredibly proud.

  She shrugged casually. “Payback. Hell hath no fury like a Payal scorned. Can we go now?”

  Guy smiled. “By all means. Please, after you.”

  ***

  Leaving a trail of decimated Maaskab in their wake, Emma led the way down the pyramid, with Guy and the Uchben following just inches behind. Gabrán quickly joined them at the base of the steps, and having witnessed her awesome display of power through the bond with his men, the chief quickly commented that she’d be giving barbeque classes to all Uchben when they returned.

  With Gabrán and his men at their flank, Guy and Emma plowed through the jungle, remaining on the narrow trail that weaved back through the invisible labyrinth. They were miles away from any roads, towns, and transportation. And it was nothing but the thickest, most miserable breed of vegetation.