by Mia Ford
“Just…well, about…” She tried to form the words again, looking about her, trying to find the right way to broach the subject. But Wilder interrupted her.
“Is this about what happened last night? Because I thought you were fine with us not talking about it.” He said sternly, like he was losing his patience with a naughty child. Celia felt offended. She had expected him to treat her with a little more respect after what had happened, after he had made it so clear to her that he wanted her.
“It is in a way.” She said sharply, still clutching her dress up above her knees. Wilder shook his head, like he was disappointed and then looked away from her.
“I thought you weren’t going to be one of those girls.” He said, with a sarcastic smirk on his face.
“What girls?” Celia asked, her pride had been wounded by now.
“Who would care about something like that.” He continued and their gazes met again.
“How dare you? You thought I was the kind of girl who just spreads her legs for anybody?” She said, her voice tearing as she spoke. Didn’t he know that he had taken her virginity? That there had been nobody before him? How could he say something like this?
She heard him laugh. A small laugh, but one that hurt her soul. He thought all of this was a joke!
“So it meant nothing to you? It was done, gone, a thing of the past for you?” Celia was yelling now, trying to hold back her temper but she couldn’t.
“What else was it supposed to be? We had just met. I don’t even know you.” Wilder said, clicking his tongue at his sheep. He still had that smirk on his face that was driving Celia crazy. She couldn’t believe it. Could Conrad actually have been right?
“If I did know you I would have known that you have a wife.” She said, a little more calmly now. Wilder’s face changed instantly. The smirk disappeared and he lunged at her. The rope had dropped from his hand and he was holding her, his hands on both her arms. Squeezing tightly. She could feel the strength in his arms, how easy it would be for him to hurt her.
But Celia looked back at him boldly, meeting his eyes directly.
“What did you just say to me?” He asked, growled.
“That I know about your wife, now. I know you’re a married man. You drove your wife away. She left you.” Celia continued. Her voice was choking in her throat as she felt the pressure of his hands on her arms. It wasn’t painful yet but it would be if he kept holding her like that any longer.
Wilder’s teeth were gritted as he looked at her. Their faces were mere inches apart. She could see the small dark pupils in the center of his blue eyes, how his thin red lips curved on the sides, how his jaw was peppered with a soft dark beard that he hadn’t shaved today.
“Who told you this? Conrad?” Wilder growled again, his grip tightening on her arms. Celia was breathing heavily again. A few more seconds and she decided she would scream, scream at the top of her lungs and hope that someone might hear her.
“Let me go, you brute!” She said. And suddenly he did.
Wilder released his grip on her arms and Celia breathed in deeply. She used her hands to rub the spots where he had been holding her. Red spots marked her pale skin there as she looked at him with violent eyes.
“So it is true.” She said, her nostrils were flaring. Wilder stepped away from her, unwilling to look at her face any more.
“Just get out of my sight.” He said in a low haggard voice.
“So you hate women because your wife left you? What did you do to her?” Celia asked, unconcerned that her dress was now trailing the mud and was essentially ruined.
“I don’t want to talk about my wife with you. Just get out of here!” This time he had yelled, barked at her. She could see that his face had turned red and the veins on the sides of his neck had popped out. He was angry, enraged and now she could see how frightening Wilder could be when he was actually mad at someone.
“You don’t want to talk about her with me because I mean nothing to you!” She yelled back at him, her own throat beginning to grow hoarse now.
“That’s right. You mean nothing! Just leave!” He yelled again, and Celia turned on her heels and started wading back through the muddy pit towards dry land. She didn’t bother to hitch her dress up. She didn’t care about anything anymore. She was so ashamed of herself, so disappointed in thinking that the previous night had meant something to both of them. Conrad was right. His brother was a maniac.
“You’ve come here to look after your grandfather.” Wilder called out to her just as she stepped out of the pit. Celia turned to look at him once more, her breasts were rising and falling with every painful breath that she took.
“That is what you’re here for, and don’t forget that he just works for us. Remember your place here.” Wilder said and then turned around, tugging his sheep out of the pit on the other side.
She couldn’t believe what she had just heard. The things he had just told her. He wanted to remind her that she was beneath them. That he had slept with her only because he could, not because of any other reason. At least Conrad was asking permission, he wanted to make a deal, he wasn’t just seducing her and then flinging her to the side after it was done.
Celia started walking back to the house, leaving a trail of drying mud as she went. She wanted to cry, to scream, to punch a wall…anything to make this feeling of humiliation go away. Wilder had violently put her in her place. He had a wife. He hated women, he couldn’t stand her. What was she even thinking? That a man like him could want anything more than a one night stand in the dark?
Her grandfather was still sitting on the porch when Celia climbed the steps back.
“Where have you been? You’re all muddy. Were you in the pig sty?” He asked her, a humorous smile appearing on his face. She tried to smile back at him. He was the reason she was here. Wilder had reminded her of it, she needed to stick to her duties. But Celia couldn’t smile, she couldn’t forget the way he had gripped her arms, like he didn’t care if she got hurt or not.
“I was just talking to Wilder. I’m going to quickly wash up and then we can go for a walk out front. You can be in your wheelchair.” She said, wiping her soiled hands on her dress.
“I would like that very much. I’ll wait for you here.” Her grandfather said as she pushed open the screen door and stepped back in the house.
“Oh, Celia. How is your day coming along?” She had bumped into Conrad who had just climbed down the stairs. It had been at least an hour or more since breakfast. He had taken that much time to get ready, and he wasn’t even dressed for a day out in the fields with the animals. He looked like he was ready for a game of golf.
“I’m taking grandpa for a walk. Do you want to join us?” She found herself asking him.
“I’m sorry if I came across as mean to you and Jack last night.” Conrad said.
The three of them were walking at snail’s pace, with Celia pushing her grandfather’s wheelchair. Conrad was beside her, being his usual pleasant self.
“Apology accepted.” She said curtly. Celia still hadn’t quite forgotten about the things Wilder had said, and she still felt like her ego was bruised. However, Conrad’s politeness and the attention he was giving her was helping the situation. Her grandfather kept dozing off as they walked, giving Conrad and her enough freedom to talk.
He had been telling her about the ranch, how his grandfather had built it from scratch. The stories from his childhood sounded like a lot of fun, like the kind of childhood any kid would be envious of. He also spoke very little of his older brother which was good for her because Celia didn’t exactly want to talk about him.
“I’m glad because I felt very bad about it, and also how I behaved with you.” He continued, in a softer voice. He was being careful of how much her grandfather could hear, although the old man had fallen asleep again, enjoying the lulling motion of being walked in peace.
Celia looked ahead of her and nodded her head.
“I was just shocked by it all.
I guess I was tired from the journey too, and I didn’t know what to expect.” She replied.
“I imagine you just wanted to spend some time with your grandfather, and instead you were stuck with two rogue men.” Conrad said with a laugh, and Celia smiled.
“I wouldn’t call you that.” She said with a glitter in her eyes as she turned to him. He was handsome, very handsome she noted. His dark hair shone brilliantly, and he shared the same blue eyes as his brother. Conrad’s looks were just softer; he was more pale and dressed more luxuriously. And around Conrad, Celia didn’t feel afraid.
But what was also missing was the thrill. She could feel it. There was no electricity in the air, a look from Conrad didn’t send shivers down her spine, she wasn’t undressing him with her eyes, the way she did Wilder.
“Did you give it any thought?” He interrupted her thoughts. Celia cleared her throat and crossed her brows at him.
“Give what any thought?”
“What I proposed to you this morning.” He said, and she immediately felt silent. He wasn’t being offensive this time, he was saying it more gently, like he was being earnest in his request.
“I can’t give it any thought till I fully understand what your intentions are.” Celia said, in a whisper. She too was now conscious of her grandfather overhearing their conversation. He was lightly snoring in the wheelchair now as they walked, but she couldn’t be too careful.
“Well, my intentions are to have you by my side. Spend time with you, much like we are doing now, except that of course…I would want more.” Conrad said and she interrupted him.
“I understand, but what I don’t get is why you’re asking me. I’m sure you have the money and the capacity to go to a different city, live elsewhere…if you’re this lonely, and if you need company.” Celia said, her brows still crossed. She was calming down now. It was nice being able to have a proper conversation with someone without being threatened or shooed away. Conrad was definitely much better behaved than his brother.
Conrad gave a short laugh, and he looked at Celia again, shrugging his shoulders.
“I have no other choice but to be here. If I leave the ranch now, my brother will take everything. He will work behind my back and make sure I don’t get what is rightfully mine. I can’t just leave all this behind. He hates me. He’s always detested me because my parents loved me more.” Conrad explained.
Celia licked her lips and looked ahead again. She didn’t know what to think. She knew what Conrad wanted from her, but what was it worth to her? Why would she do this? Wouldn’t she have to like him first? Be attracted to him if she was going to get into an arranged relationship with him?
He had noticed her thinking and he suddenly placed a hand on her waist. Celia looked up at him sharply, but she didn’t draw herself away.
“Look, Celia.” He said, ignoring the surprise in her eyes. He was comfortable touching her, and she forced herself to feel comfortable in it as well. If she was thinking about giving this relationship a shot, she had to try and coach herself to like him. What did she have to lose?
“I can take care of you, for as long as you want to stay here. I will take care of Jack, and I want to care for you too.” He continued, and she blinked at him.
“You mean, you want to pay me for my services?” She said sharply, and now tugged herself away from him so that his hands dropped to his sides. What was wrong with these two brothers? She thought, biting down on her lip, why did they both have the completely wrong impression of her?
“No, not like that. Not pay you. Just take care of your cost of living here, for as long as you need. Maybe you can start saving some money for later, if you want to go back to New York. And if you don’t want to go back, you can stay here for as long as you like.” Conrad reached for Celia’s hand and held it tightly in his. He squeezed it, looking kindly into her eyes. She stared back at him, her nose twitching with confusion.
“I’ll have to think about it.” She said, drawing her hand away sharply.
Conrad smiled at her and nodded his head.
“Of course. And in answer to your question about why I chose you, and not someone else…well, isn’t that easy to see? You’re beautiful. The most beautiful girl I have ever seen. I think I wanted you from the first moment I saw you. There’s no use in denying that.” He went on, and Celia felt her cheeks flush. She looked away from him, suppressing a smile as best she could.
“I can see you’re glad to hear that. You should be, because that is the truth.” Conrad continued and Celia pushed the wheelchair harder.
“Thank you for the compliment, Conrad. But I don’t want to make a decision in a hurry. It’s not something that comes to me naturally.” Celia replied, keeping her eyes on the road. They had made a turn in the direction of the house again. She wanted to get started on dinner. Wilder hadn’t asked her to, but she wanted to cook her family’s recipe of spicy sausage casserole for her grandfather.
“Of course, I didn’t think it did come to you naturally. I just wanted us both to benefit out of this. I don’t see any reason why not. Neither of us will have anything to lose.” He said hurriedly as they walked along. Celia pursed her lips and drew in a deep breath. He was right, she had nothing to lose. Especially now when Wilder had made it very clear to her that she needed to stay away from him.
When they reached the house, Wilder was standing on the porch with his arms crossed over his chest and his legs set apart.
Celia could see the fury in his eyes, just from the way he was glaring at them. Her grandfather had begun stirring in the wheelchair, slowly waking up from the deep peaceful sleep he just had.
“Where have you been?” Wilder snarled when they came into earshot. Celia’s muscles grew tight; her body was reacting to his presence again. More than afraid, she wanted to hate him. And Wilder was making it very easy for her to do so.
“We just took old Jack for a walk there, where have you been brother?” Conrad asked cheerily, ignoring Wilder’s obvious rage.
“That is what Celia was doing. What were you doing Conrad? When you should have been tending to the pigs? The horses needed to be groomed too. You’ve been missing since the morning. It’s past lunch now.” Wilder took a few steps down towards them, his arms still crossed, his chest heaving. He hadn’t looked at Celia once.
“Actually, I asked him to join us.” She said, and the two brothers turned to her. Conrad had a smile on his face, while Wilder’s nostrils were flared. He was looking at her with disgust, like she had just said something filthy.
“Why? He needs to be helping me with the running of the ranch.” Wilder said, taking a few steps in her direction. Celia felt the instant appearance of goosebumps on her arms, the hair at the back of her neck stood up. The moment Wilder had looked at her directly, she felt like her knees would buckle. She clutched the handle bars of her grandfather’s wheelchair tightly for support.
“I didn’t know my way around, so I asked Conrad to show me. One day won’t make much of a difference, will it?” Celia looked past Wilder’s shoulder at Conrad who looked back at her with a pleased expression on his face. She raised her chin up at Wilder, who was glaring at her still.
“You had Jack with you. Jack knows these parts better than Conrad. My brother rarely leaves his room unless he wants something.” Wilder spat the words out, and without waiting for Celia to reply he whipped around at Conrad.
“You need to start pulling your weight around here Conrad, this is the last time I’m telling you.” Wilder said, walking up to his brother’s face now.
Celia saw her grandfather move in his wheelchair. She could see that he was beginning to grow uncomfortable. He didn’t want to see the boys fighting.
“I’m going to cook us some sausage casserole for dinner. You’re relieved of your cooking duties for tonight, Wilder.” Celia said, turning up the cheer in her voice. Wilder and Conrad both looked at her and she forced a smile on her face.
“Sausage casserole?” It was her grandfathe
r who spoke.
“Yeah, the one grandma taught mama, remember? I’ll make it just the way you like it grandpa.” Celia bent forward to smile at her grandfather, who tickled her chin and she giggled.
“I’ll be in the kitchen if anybody needs me.” She said as she climbed up the porch steps, leaving all the men behind.
“I can’t wait for dinner, Celia.” She heard Conrad say and she turned to smile at him. Wilder grunted and walked away, shoving his brother in the shoulder as he did it. After Wilder, had walked away from them, Conrad raised his eyebrows at her and shook his head. She was still standing on the porch, looking at Wilder’s brooding figure disappear into the distance. He hadn’t once turned to look at any of them.
“What did I tell you? If he could he would see me drown in a puddle.” Conrad said and smacked his lips. Celia turned and walked back into the house. She needed to think. She needed to seriously think about everything that was happening.
While walking to the kitchen she tried to lay out the points of detail. She was attracted to Wilder, but he didn’t want her. He wanted to be left alone. The person who wanted her, who wanted her madly; was Conrad. In fact, Wilder might even be dangerous, while Conrad could be good for her. Wasn’t it a better decision to be with the person who wants you? Instead of yearning for the man who doesn’t even care that you exist?
Celia shook her head as she walked into the kitchen, grabbing Wilder’s apron off the hook and tying it around her waist. Tonight, she was just going to concentrate on cooking a hearty meal for her grandfather, the rest could wait till the next day.
By the time Celia had finished cooking dinner it was dark outside again. Her grandfather had joined her in the kitchen and she was having a great time chatting with him. Celia had nearly forgotten all her troubles with the two brothers, laughing and joking with her beloved grandpa. When she laid out the plates on the dining table, and had placed the casserole in the center; she left her grandfather in the room and went in search of the two Moore brothers.