by J. L. Madore
“Hawk, put that down and lay with me.”
“I’m afraid you’ve got the roles reversed, Spitfire. I am the Dominant. I give the orders.”
“No. You are the zombie about to collapse. Lie down.”
Her questioning my lethal abilities sparks my guardian fire like a hammer to anvil. “Says the female who did collapse only hours ago.”
Her eyes narrow. “Told you about that, did they?”
“Your guardians don’t agree on much, but we all want you safe. I think it’s you who needs to lie down, and maybe, for a change, not have someone sex you up.”
Calli laughs. “All right, Mr. Crankypants, a compromise. Both of us lie down and no one gets sexed up. Like it or not, my presence eases the pull on your mating heat. Get some sleep. Then, when you’re feeling more yourself, you can report back to the other members of the Calli Worry Club and assure them that I’m rested and well.”
She tugs at the bag pressed between us and smiles. “Trust me. It’s only a nap I’m after. When I seduce you, I want you well-rested and willing.”
Now it’s my turn to laugh. “You can’t handle it, Spitfire. This morning with the others proved me right.”
Her confident smile loses its sass and I regret the jab. Does she really want the kind of sex I offer? She stares at me for a few seconds longer and then deflates. “Whatever. You do you, tough guy.”
I drop the bag and catch her wrist as she retreats toward the door. “I warned you, Calli. I’m not a hearts and flowers sort of male. My interactions with women outside of a professional scope are very singular.”
“Yes, bathing in beautiful, educated, elegant women, I remember.”
“I apologized for saying the things I said.”
“Yes, you did and we’re past that.”
“Yet my words never seem to die their last death.”
“I’m sorry. That’s not fair. I’ll do better.”
I don’t understand why I suddenly care, but I hate the disappointment flaring in her eyes. “Fine. Get in the bed. Keep your clothes on. I’m not fucking you no matter what you have in mind.”
“Aw, there’s my silver-tongued devil.” There’s no trace of her being offended in her tone or the air. In fact, the rawness of her need to protect me confuses the hell out of me.
Why does she come back for more? Why does she care?
Calli slides under the comforter. When her head hits the pillow, her hair cascades out like a shimmering, gold fan. My muscles lock in place. Can I lie with her and just lie with her?
I focus on the fact that she passed out this morning.
Neither my hawk nor I will endanger her life. Sex is off the table. I’ll rest with her and then we’ll see what Dr. Glask says tonight.
“Relax, Barron. I don’t bite… well, I do, but I won’t.”
I roll my eyes and climb on top of the comforter. “This is a terrible idea.”
CHAPTER SIX
Kotah
The royal residence hasn’t changed in twenty generations. It’s long been the home of kings from all species, dryad, goblin, troll, elf, nymphs, satyrs, and currently wildling. None of the diminutive races have ever reigned, but it’s hard to imagine a race of enraged mountain orcs obeying the commands of a pixie king. That actually would be funny to see.
And even though my father has been king all my life, and Mother has split her time between raising us in the forests of the Northwood lands and being here, I wasn’t forced to live here until after puberty.
Father thought it undignified to have children underfoot who’d yet to learn how to control shifting to wolf or who were unable to flash clothes on if something unexpected happened.
It worked well for me. It meant Keyla and I grew up in the forests of North Dakota, largely unattended, and learned a love of the land we could never have gleaned from a life of living in a palace.
Father and Mother are far too long out of the trees. They lost their animal souls somewhere along the way and I will never let that happen to Keyla or me.
Inside the door, I stop and slip on the fabric booties Mother insists we wear within the residence. They are ridiculous and I despise them, but honestly, today is about picking my battles and I’m not going to start on the wrong foot—or footwear.
“He what? When? I saw him the night before last.”
My heart sinks and I curse inwardly. I close my eyes and draw a deep breath. I hate gossips. The palace is filled with a hundred people more interested in what is happening in other peoples’ lives instead of worrying about their own.
Girding myself for the fight to come, I lift my chin and make my way toward Mother’s private receiving room.
Raven sits at her desk in the anteroom, as always, and offers an apologetic smile when she sees me. She’s a pretty lady in her mid-forties and has been Mother’s right hand in running the household since before I was born. “Go right in. I believe she’s eager to speak with you.”
“I expect she is.” I stare at the door for a moment, trying to slow my heart rate, and then I open my way and stride inside exuding far more confidence than I feel.
“Keyla, how could you,” I say, holding a hand over my heart. My sister is perched on the corner of Mother’s desk while my mother paces behind the floral settee sofa. “I told you I wanted to tell her myself.”
My sister offers me a sheepish look and shrugs. “It was too much pressure to keep from Mother. You should never have asked me to lie.”
Mother turns on me sour-faced. “Is that the type of behavior you learn in university, Nakotah? To coax your sister to lie to your mother about having sex with a woman you just met. Is that what my money pays for?”
I shoot Keyla a daggered glare and shake my head. “I never asked her to lie. I simply asked that she keep her gossipy mouth shut—”
“Nakotah!”
I draw a deep breath and unclench my fists. “Apologies. I asked my dear, sweet sister to keep the news of my mating to herself for half-an-hour so I could come to tell you myself.”
“And what would you have told me that differs from Keyla’s account? Did you mate with that human?”
“Calli and I mated, yes, but you know she’s not human. She’s the reborn phoenix and it can’t be a surprise to you that I mated her. I was chosen as her guardian.”
Mother doesn’t look at all appeased. “I thought you to have more sense. Your destiny was chiseled in granite since the day of your birth. You are to be Fae Prime after your father no longer sits as leader of our people.”
“Well, now the universe has chosen a new destiny for me. Darkside is actively plotting. Calli was reborn and needs her mates to train her and ready her for the battles to come.”
Mother shakes her head. “And you’ll throw away your family honor and duty to serve the fae realm to play house with a common nary? Kotah, I have never been so disappointed in you. I thought the honor of you being named a Guardian of the Phoenix would make your father proud, but you were never supposed to accept it.”
I bite my lip. “Being with Calli and the others is what I want, Mother. I hoped you might support my decision and respect me as an adult who knows what he wants.”
Mother flings her hand in the air, dismissing that. “Respect you as an adult? Perhaps my information is faulty, but were you or were you not involved in a drunken altercation at a roadside bar less than twenty-four hours ago? Is that the act of a respectable, grown male of your standing?”
I curse inwardly. The Prima and her spies. I forgot how much I hate being under her constant watch. “And did your informant explain that I was neither drunk nor the instigator of that altercation? In fact, I stopped the altercation from coming to blows while defending a female? There’s no reason for you to judge me wanting because of that. It was nothing.”
Her eyes tighten and her glare locks in. “You naïve little boy. You are the heir to the fae crown. Everything that happens with you reflects on your father and I and our place as leaders. People must have fa
ith in your character as future Fae Prime.”
She’ll never listen. She’ll never choose me. “I’m a Guardian of the Phoenix. That is the duty I choose.”
“Fae Prime is your duty and as the highest position in our world, it supersedes all other commitments. As such, I’ve spoken to the Fae Council. They are looking into how to sever your bond as we speak.”
“You have no right—”
“Nakotah Northwood, be silent!” She stalks in front of me, her eyes flashing with a rage I’ve rarely seen. “You will forget this phoenix non-sense and commit to the true problem at hand. The Fae Prime is ailing, and you must assume your role as his successor immediately.”
Calli
I wake with a jolt, unsure of what’s happening. It feels like a truck is parked on my chest and a harsh voice is gasping vile, angry threats into my ear. I struggle to get my brain to catch up with the panic gripping me.
My scream is caught by the hand clamping hard over my mouth. It presses down hard, forcing my head deeper into the pillow. Right. Pillow. Napping with Hawk.
Blinking madly, I try to focus.
Hawk is on top of me, glaring… but the man behind those cold gray eyes isn’t him. And whoever he’s seeing isn’t me. I grab at him, struggling to get free.
His chest is heaving with the effort of holding me down. “I’ll fucking kill you,” he growls, shifting his hand from my mouth to my throat.
My intake of air is blocked and the rush of blood in my ears is deafening. If I don’t get free, he’ll kill me. My phoenix ignites beneath my skin and I smell the burning of his flesh.
“Hawk,” I gasp. “Please…”
The pressure of my pulse behind my eyes is intense and my vision is going spotty. My skin is aglow, and the sheets are smoldering. Panicked, I buck upward with all my strength. His hold on my throat lessens for a second and I scream. The sound is short-lived and cuts off a second later.
A flash of light from the doorway precedes the removal of Hawk’s choking grip. I roll to the side, gasping and coughing for air. Angry male voices erupt but my hearing is still on the fritz. The world is drowned out by the thunder of adrenaline rushing in my ears.
I swipe my hair free from my face as Brant throws Hawk across the room. He hits the wall so hard, the drywall buckles and leaves the dent of his body.
“Don’t,” I choke, scrambling in a fit of kicks and struggles to get out of the twisted hold of burned sheets.
“Calli!” Jaxx flicks on the light and rushes toward me. “Are you okay?”
I push past Jaxx’s embrace and stumble six feet across the floor. My legs feel like rubber and I fall past a growling bear to land ungracefully to cover Hawk. “Don’t hurt him.” My voice is thin and not my own. I swallow and wince at the burn of my throat. “Nightmare… not his fault.”
Brant looks at me like I’m crazy. “He had his fucking hands wrapped around your throat. He was choking you.”
The fog of Hawk’s waking nightmare burns off. I watch as confusion is replaced by dawning and replaced again by haunted horror. “Oh, fuck. No. I didn’t.”
His gaze locks on my throat. I still feel his fingers clasped around my trachea. No doubt his grip left marks. He’s staring at me, looking lost… and disgusted.
“It’s okay,” I gasp. “I’m okay. You didn’t mean to.”
Brant grabs my shoulders and hauls me off the floor. “Calli, stop. You’re delirious. We need to—”
I fight his hold but it’s no use. I haven’t got the strength in me to fight Brant’s will. “Let me go, Bear, please.”
“No,” Hawk says, pulling himself up to sit on the floor. “Get her out of here and keep her away from me.”
“No!” I shout.
The world spins and I’m in Brant’s arms. He’s carrying me away and something inside me knows if I don’t fix this right now, Hawk will be lost to us.
“Brant put me down.” I wriggle, but he refuses to listen. “Brant,” I say with more force, trying to gain my freedom. “Put me down.”
The fact that my wishes are being overwritten brings me to fury. The look in Hawk’s gaze as he zips up his duffle terrifies me. He’s broken. Utterly shredded. My heart breaks and I’m scared. Only this time, my fear isn’t for me, it’s for Hawk.
Something inside me surges forward and my need to help him overrides everything else.
“Do as I say. Bear. Put. Me. Down.” The words are barely off my tongue when Brant straightens and sets me on my feet. I don’t know who’s voice came out of my mouth, but not only wasn’t it mine, it was piss-my-pants freaky.
Brant looks weird.
Jaxx’s jaw drops.
Kotah steps into the suite. He looks wrecked. I fight the urge to go to him. I have a more immediate fire to put out. I’ve got a Hawk to pull off the ledge.
“Don’t disturb us,” I say, heading back to the bedroom. “And whatever happens, Hawk doesn’t leave this suite until I say so.”
Hawk
I hear Calli warn off the others and can’t comprehend where her head is at. What’s wrong with her? Is it sadism… masochism… is she so royally fucked up she injects herself into volatile situations? Whatever the reason, the boomeranging needs to stop. I’m dangerous for her.
When she crosses the threshold of the bedroom, I hold up my hand to stop her. “Listen to them and let me walk out of here. I’m no good for you. I was the mistake in this mating. I just proved that quite spectacularly.”
Calli closes the door and leans back against it looking as panicked on the outside as I feel on the inside. Well, panicked and wildly beautiful. Her emerald gaze burns with emotion and her hair is tousled like an 80s Guns and Roses video.
Yeah, except not tousled. Her hair got tangled during a fight for her life. I am such a fucked-up bastard. “I need you to know… I can’t begin to tell you how horrified I am by what happened. I’m sorry… so, fucking sorry.”
“You don’t need to apologize.”
“I attacked you!”
She juts her chin and frowns. “That wasn’t you.”
“Brant’s right. You are delusional.”
She pegs me with a glare. “No. I’m the only of the five of us who can see things clearly. Your face was six inches from mine while you were choking me. I got an up-close and personal view of who was driving your train and it wasn’t you.”
“I’d never do it consciously, but it was still me. You don’t know me.”
“I do. I know you better now than I did twenty minutes ago. It takes one to know one, right? Who hurt you?”
Oh, hells no. I grab my bag off the floor. “I’m not discussing this with you.”
“Yes, you are. You owe me that.”
I scoff. “I’m your guardian, not your lover. I owe you my loyalty and my support in the days to come. I don’t accept the mating, so I don’t owe you any more than that.”
“You dug into my darkest hours. I think a little quid pro quo might help. This can’t be the first time that shit bubbled up. If you walk out of here and pretend you’re all right, your past wins. Let me help.”
I see the concern in her eyes, the affection, the complete dedication to fixing this. It doesn’t help. Instead, it brings me to the edge of violence.
“Was it sexual abuse? Physical abuse? What?”
I turn my back on her, the last of my control slipping from my grasp. “Calli, I understand you’re trying to help—though, for the life of me, I don’t understand why—but I’m not that person anymore.”
“If that were true, I wouldn’t have woken up to play the starring role of a snuff film. Has it happened before with one of your ambrosia crowd?”
“No.”
“So, it’s me? What about me triggers that level of aggression in you. I know I don’t hold a place of honor in your life, but damn it, Hawk—”
I turn and can’t believe she’s so fucking clueless. “It’s not you. The females in my past… I never slept with them. I fucked them and left, or I fucke
d them and they left.”
Her brow pinches. “You’ve never had anyone cuddle in for the night? Never?”
I growl. “I can’t do this with you right now, Calli. You need to give me some space.”
“No. You’re as much a runner as you accuse me of being. We’re talking this out.” She crosses her arms and the position plumps up the rounds of her tits. My cock responds immediately. Fuck, I’m wearing track pants. There’s no good way to hide it if I can’t get away from her.
Unless. Yep.
I drop my clothes and call forward my hawk—literally and figuratively giving Calli the bird.
Jaxx
What the hell is happening? My gaze bounces from the devastation on Kotah’s face to the blank nothingness on Brant’s to the closed door where Calli and Hawk’s fight suddenly goes dead quiet. My phone buzzes in my pocket and I check the ID. “Hey Mama, I… uh, need to call you back.”
“Is everything all right, baby?”
“Nothing critical. I hate to say drama but yeah, gotta go.”
“All right. We’ll talk later. Love you all.”
“You too, Mama.”
I shove my phone into my jeans and get my head back in the game. Brant has his back against the door to the outer hall, his arms crossed, and is emitting a deadly bouncer vibe.
“What did I miss?” Kotah asks, looking as baffled as I feel. He waves a hand in front of Brant’s zombie stare and frowns. “What’s wrong with him?”
“Okay, my best guess is Hawk and Calli were napping and Hawk had a PTSD nightmare and almost choked Calli. Brant went into an overprotective mode and Calli blasted him with some kinda back the hell off command that has him enthralled. Calli ordered us to give her time with Hawk but says he’s her prisoner until she paroles him. Brant’s following her order.”
Kotah draws a heavy breath. “What can we do?”
I shrug. “I think it’s out of our hands for the moment. What about you? You came in here looking like your puppy got mushed on the freeway. What’s up with you?”
Kotah tells me about his sister’s betrayal and his mother’s intention to have him severed from our bond. I can’t imagine how deeply that would cut me. “She’ll never break our bond. It was bullshit when Hawk said he wanted to look into it and it’s bullshit now. The only way that I know of to get out of a magical contract is for it to be unanimously dissolved. Not gonna happen. You are ours, Wolf. If anyone from the outside world has a problem with that, too bad.”