by Various
“Corn on the cob, salad...”
“Damn it, Avery. Look at me. Please?”
Begging? Lucas was begging?
Avery whipped her head around, and straightened. She pushed the fridge shut. Lucas took a step toward her. She swallowed, hard. “I-”
“I don’t want any weirdness between us. Please. You’re the only person I know here. It’s been nice to spend time with someone, especially someone I connect with. I can’t take that kiss back, nor do I want to, but please. This tension, I don’t like it.” He reached out and touched her elbow. “Please?”
That look in his eyes melted her once again. What was it about him? “Okay. I can try.”
“I appreciate it. Look, maybe I’ll skip food for now. I’ve got a few calls to make. I just want to make sure we’re on okay terms before I bow out for the night, okay? So, are we cool?”
If he wasn’t holding her arm, if the chills would stop, maybe. She refused to tell him that. “Yeah. We’re cool. I guess I’ll see you around?” Another hard swallow. Why was her throat incredibly dry all of a sudden?
“I’d like that. Good night, Avery.” Lucas smiled. With that, he let go of her and walked out of the kitchen, the door swinging closed behind him.
Avery stared at the door, half expecting, half hoping Lucas would come through it again and finish what they’d started. After a few minutes went by and nothing, she sighed. It was for the best. As hot of a kisser as he was, and as good as it felt, it wasn’t supposed to happen. She’d gotten caught up in the heat of the moment. As her pounding heartbeat went back to normal, Avery decided against eating and left the kitchen. Her stomach was now in knots and she couldn’t concentrate. Alice gave her a smug look as she exited the area. Avery said goodnight to her politely and left the inn, never looking back. Who cared that Alice knew Avery left alone, when she’d entered the kitchen with Lucas? Whatever. She didn’t need to get involved in Alice’s childish games.
*****
I shouldn’t have kissed her.
Safely back in his room, Lucas paced the floor, his mind in a rut. Against his better judgment, he’d gone and kissed Avery. Who would have thought she’d respond that way? If there hadn’t been voices to interrupt, how far would they have gone?
When his cell phone chirped the familiar tune, Lucas groaned. He wasn’t ready to face the caller right now, but if he didn’t answer, he would never hear the end of it. “What?” he snapped.
“Why are you speaking to me that way, Lucas?” the voice on the other end asked.
“Because you sent me here to clean up your mess, and it pisses me off.” Lucas raked a hand through his hair, still imagining Avery’s fingers through it, her lips on his, the lusting look in her eyes.
“It can’t be that bad.”
You don’t know the half of it. It’s bad, but not the way you think.
“You keep toying with me like a puppet, and you know what? I’ve had enough. This isn’t right, okay?” Lucas said. Knowing what was at stake, he didn’t have a choice. Damn his past for coming up to haunt him right now.
“Lucas. Please. Just give it a couple of weeks, and if nothing comes out of it, you can come back here. I’ll give you a raise! I just - I just need this to not get out anywhere. It would ruin me.”
No. It won’t ruin you. You’re just embarrassed that your own past could come back and haunt you. You don’t want anything coming in between you and your precious career.
“Whatever. I don’t need a raise. When I’m done here, when I’ve made sure your mess has been cleaned up and won’t affect you, I’m done. That’s it for me. I’m tired of this life, and I’m tried of being on your leash.”
This time, he meant it. Done. He was done. No more collar and leash. No matter the repercussions, he had to draw the line. Whatever happened next, he would deal with it as it came. All he knew was that if this secret got out, there would be a world of hurt for more than one person.
Chapter Six
Silence, then tears flowed from Laura’s cheeks. Avery wrapped her arms around her best friend. Tears? A good sign? Bad?
“Oh, Avery! What a beautiful song! I want that for my wedding! I totally do!” Laura pulled away and laughed. “It’s not even wedding time yet and you’re already ruining my makeup.”
Avery giggled, and handed Laura a tissue.
“I’m so glad you like it,” Avery said, leaning back into the pod chair. For a moment, her gaze met Jameson’s. There was a dark emotion in his eyes. He smiled, then turned away, fiddling with his guitar. He played a few chords. Avery’s heart sank. The tension in the room between them wasn’t good. How would they ever play together if Jameson turned away like this? As much as what he did hurt her all those months ago, the last thing Avery wanted was for him to hurt. Or, hurt more than he already did. The obvious anguish in his eyes tore her up inside. They had to find a way to get past it, or...
Avery couldn’t think of that now. This must be the season for changes.
“Like it? I love it! I appreciate all of you for this.” Laura looked at all the band members.
“That’s so good to hear,” Jameson said, looking up at Laura, the corners of his lips turned up slightly, then bowed his head again.
“Our fearless leader has been relentlessly practicing it. She’s been agonizing over it for weeks,” the keyboard player, Randy, teased, shooting Avery a look. His eyes danced with amusement, but Avery knew from all of their faces that they were proud.
“That totally sounds like Avery.” Laura giggled again, reaching for another tissue.
Heat rushed into her cheeks, and Avery knew she was blushing. “Stop picking on me, y’all.” But she wasn’t angry. How could she be? The song did come out well, and the fact that Laura loved it pleased her. She couldn’t wait to sing it at the wedding, as Laura danced with her new husband.
The bass guitarist, Marty, swept behind Avery and lightly scraped her arm with his guitar pick. “But if we didn’t pick on you, what else would we do?” Everyone, including Jameson, laughed.
“Ha ha, smart ass,” Avery said, swatting playfully at Marty.
“Better a smart ass than a dumb one.” Marty grinned at his old saying. Cheesy, but that was Marty for you. Avery wouldn’t have him any other way. As she looked at the happy faces around the room, what would she ever do without this band? Did her breakup with Jameson threaten all of this? By everyone else’s faces, it didn’t appear to, but Jameson lurked in the shadows today. His guitar playing didn’t falter, he still played every note with heart, but by the look on his face most of today, his heart was only in the music.
“Yeah, sure.” Avery smiled. “Well, great playing today, guys. Had a blast as always.”
Everyone nodded in agreement. Practice was officially over for the day. As everyone gathered their instruments and said their goodbyes, one by one, the room slowly emptied. In just minutes, only Avery and Jameson were left. Even Laura, who had a date for a mani-pedi, had already left. Avery swallowed hard and approached Jameson. She sat down in the seat beside him and reached for his hand. Surprisingly, Jameson didn’t pull away. He even looked up at her, a regretful expression across his face.
“I hate this tension,” Avery said softly. Jameson nodded.
“I knew once I told you, things would change, and they certainly did. I can’t blame you for being so upset and hating me. I hate myself,” Jameson said.
“Oh, Jameson, the last thing I do is hate you. I love you, so much, but the romantic feelings I had did change. I won’t lie. I’m as devastated as you. I wanted nothing more than to get past it ... I- I just can’t. I know it’s going to be weird going back to friends, but I hope we can at least try.”
“Me too, Avery. We’ve been through too much to let a stupid thing I did ruin us, even if we can’t be together. I don’t want to lose you completely in my life.”
Avery shook her head. “I don’t want to lose you either, Jameson. As a friend, as a band mate, at all.”
That was
the truth. The fact of the matter was, they took a chance taking their relationship to a new level. Now they had to brace themselves for the fall out.
“Okay. Then we won’t. Let’s both promise to do what we can to keep things going smooth. I’m sorry I ran out the other day the way I did. I was being a coward and I’m pretty pissed at myself. I knew what was coming, and as usual, I didn’t want to hear it.” Jameson squeezed her hand, then let it go. He leaned forward in his chair, his gaze never leaving Avery’s face. His deep blue eyes were filled with sorrow and pain. Avery hurt for him. Jameson endured a lot in the past few months.
“I agree,” Avery said softly, her voice barely above a whisper. Oh, damn it. She wasn’t going to cry again, was she?
Jameson stood, grabbing his guitar case. “I’ve gotta go. I promised Mom I’d help her out today.”
Avery walked in sync with Jameson. “How is she doing?” Jameson’s mom didn’t take her husband’s death well at all. They were worried for awhile that they might lose her, too.
Jameson sighed. “Not well. Hanging on, but not well at all. I’m scared for her, Baby Stetson.” The use of her nickname sent a chill down her spine. The way Jameson said those words, he sounded so defeated.
“You let me know if there’s anything I can do, okay?” Avery’s heart broke for him. They stopped outside of Avery’s truck. Jameson’s sunglasses hid his eyes, but his lips were in a thin line as he nodded.
“Thank you. I really appreciate that.” He leaned in and swiftly hugged her for a moment before pulling away again. “I’m glad you don’t hate me. I was really afraid you did. I can’t bear to lose another person in my life.”
“I know, Jameson. I know. We’ll make it somehow, okay? You’ve been my best friend, besides Laura, for so long. We’ll get back somehow. We’re both stubborn. I know we can do it.” Avery wasn’t sure, but she had to give it her best shot. For Jameson. For herself.
“I’ll see you later.” With a wave, he turned, retreating to his own truck. Avery climbed into hers and watched as Jameson disappeared into the horizon. Why did it hurt so much to see him? Why did she suddenly want to cry again? And why did she kiss another man just a few nights ago when she was still obviously reeling from the pain of the breakup with Jameson?
*****
Avery couldn’t help it, but she watched her mother like a hawk all afternoon while working a shift at the inn. She was on front desk duty, and her mother came in and out, asking questions about guests and other information. Every time she was near, Avery searched her face for any signs of too little sleep or stress. There had already been too many losses this year, too much change. Yes, it was a part of life, but lately it seemed there had been an upswing in life’s curve balls. Like a roller coaster ride that Avery couldn’t wait to get off of. She hated roller coasters. No wonder the ups and downs of life drove her nuts lately. They reminded her of the wretched, creaky ride that always freaked her out.
Comparing roller coasters and life, well yeah, there ya go. That’s enough to send anyone over the edge. Grip. Get one. She needed to, now.
“Avery? Avery, are you listening to me?”
Whoops. Mom looked at Avery strangely. She’d gone off in her own little thoughts again.
“Yeah, I hear you, Mom.” Or at least, mostly. The last five minutes, she wasn’t so sure.
“Okay, so you’ll do it?”
Avery blinked. Okay, she’d definitely missed something. Shit.
Her mother laughed. “By the sheer confused look on your face, I was right. You did go off in your own little world. Are you okay?”
Mom knew her too well. Avery could never get away with lying. Not that she ever wanted to lie to her mother, but if she ever did, she would know. Avery wore her emotions on her sleeve, even without intending to, and her mother knew that all too well.
“I’m worried about you, honestly,” Avery said, watching her mother’s face. If only she could read Mom’s mind the way Mom could do to her.
“Why are you so worried about me? I’m perfectly fine,” her mother insisted firmly. “So I fell the other day. It happens all the time.”
Then why are you getting so defensive?
Not very convincing.
The bell jingled, signaling someone coming in. Avery turned around to face the desk and put on a happy smile as the middle aged man walked up to the desk. “Hi! How may I help you?” Avery asked, feigning cheerfulness. The man studied her for a second, his jaw slack, eyes full of curiosity. He had tan skin, a faint hint of a mustache and beard, and his sandy brown hair kept short. He stood straight, at a little over six feet tall. His clothes were casual, wearing blue jeans and a plaid long sleeved shirt that he wore tucked in.
“Do you have any rooms available for about a week or so?” he asked in a gruff tone.
“Sure do. Is it just you?” Avery asked, pulling up the registry on the computer screen.
“Yes ma’am.”
“Name? And I’ll need to see a credit card and identification, please. Oh, and here’s something you’ll need to sign.” Avery handed him the forms.
“Rodney Morris.” Two cards were shoved across the desk. Avery blinked, took in a sharp breath. “Excuse me?” Her head whipped up, staring at him. What did he just say?
Oh my God. It’s him.
That’s my father.
Or at least, according to that letter, he thinks he is. What’s he doing here?
Well, that was a stupid question. He was here to see her. He must have been. No wonder he’d kept watching her the way he did. He knew she was Avery, didn’t he?
Avery had to keep moving to keep from fainting. Heart racing a mile a minute, blood pounding in her ears, she managed to get all of his information just fine. She knew his gaze was on her, along with her mother’s. Oh, Mom! Her worst fear! And she had no idea this man could possibly be the one that fathered Avery. With all the things going on with her mother already, this was the last thing she needed. She had to get Rodney out of here quickly before he said anything.
He was saying at their inn!
“Are you all right, Avery honey?” her mother asked. Avery looked up at her for a brief moment and nodded.
“I just need to eat soon is all,” Avery said quickly, handing Rodney his card and ID back. Well, now he knew who she was for sure. When her gaze met his, he sent her a knowing look. His eyes were wide as he watched her.
“I’m going to see what your dad is doing.” Avery’s mom smiled at the man. “Enjoy your stay, and thanks for choosing us.”
How ironic that her mother chose those words. Avery’s gaze snapped back to Rodney, expecting a hurt look or something, but there was none.
“I take it you got my letter,” he said softly, leaning over the desk.
“I did. I’m sorry I hadn’t responded ... I don’t know what to say. I think I was still processing the information.” Avery stammered, her heart still hammering in her chest. She looked him over, searching for any signs that she looked anything like him. To her surprise, there were many similarities. Did that mean anything? No, but a quick DNA test could. As much as she wanted to believe ... she wasn’t going to take that chance, get her hopes up without concrete proof.
“I don’t mean to barge in on your life. I’m just so curious about you,” Rodney said. “I want to ... hug you or something, but that would be too weird right now. I hope this next sentence doesn’t offend you, but I’d really like some affirmation ... I’d like to proceed with a DNA test, if that’s all right with you.”
“I don’t mind at all. I was just ... actually thinking that myself,” Avery said, in awe. She finished entering the last of his information in the computer and reached below the desk, opened the lock box and handed him a key card. “You’re room 305.”
Very close to Lucas, actually. Great. She hadn’t meant to do that. Now, if she went to see Rodney, Lucas wouldn’t be too far away. She could change Rodney’s room, but that would just be a pain. Oh well.
Suck it up and
get over it.
“So, can we meet up somewhere and talk? It looks as if you are having a good life. Your mother- she seems very wonderful,” Rodney said. He straightened, picked up his cards and key, but made no attempts to move yet.
“She is. Both of them are wonderful. I had a great childhood. Yes, I want to meet up and talk. I’ve had my own curiosities. I get off at five, if that’s not too bad for you. We can go eat something and talk.”
Rodney nodded. “That’s great with me. I’m looking forward to it.”
So was she. More than she’d like to admit. “Okay. That sounds good. And, enjoy your stay. If there’s anything you need, please don’t hesitate to let us know.”
As Rodney reached for a duffel bag and a rolling suitcase and turned away, a song by Avery’s idol, Belinda Wainscott played on the radio. Her old soul voice crooned a song about love, reuniting, and connecting. How fitting. It took a half hour for Avery’s mind and heart to stop racing so much and go back to normal. But this was surreal. She may finally learn about her biological father. She couldn’t keep her hopes up too high until the DNA testing had gone through.
Who was she kidding? The excitement, the fear, the nervousness, it was all there.
Today turned out to be better than she’d imagined.
“Hey.” Lucas’s voice pulled Avery out of her thoughts. From one stranger in town to another. Lucas looked like he had something on his mind. He shifted as he stood behind the desk. Or in front of it, however one wants to think about it. Wow, her mind must really be a jumble if she contemplated which side of the desk was front or back.
Okay, anyway.
“Hi, Lucas,” Avery said breezily. What could he want now? To kiss and run, as he had the other night?
“I hope you’re not upset with me,” Lucas started.
“Why would I be upset, Lucas?”
He sighed. “You’re not going to make this easy on me, are you? For kissing you and then bolting, Avery. That’s what.”
Hurt flashed in his eyes.
“I’m not upset. A little confused, but definitely not upset.” That was the truth. Confused at how much she liked it, yet how wrong it was. How the timing could be so off for sparks like that. For the guilt she carried over Jameson right now.