by Various
"Ryan, don't take this the wrong way, but I don't know how much more I can take of all this," I say, trying to not sound whiny.
"I know. Me too. Let's go see if we can find a room. Otherwise, we can go back to the dark room and use one of those beds. I need to fuck you before we leave," he says this with a scorching look in his eyes. Damn, he’s hot.
"Yeah. Let's do it," I say, breathless.
We walk down the hall; I hear the music from the dance floor seeping through the walls. There are two brown doors, both closed. He looks at me and shrugs.
"Couch room or dark room?"
"Dark room," I say, sort of wishing the closed doors would open. Neither does. We head back toward the dark room.
The crowd by the windows is even bigger now and we can barely squeeze by. This time when we enter the dark room, there are only a few people here. The one bed off in the corner is empty, and Ryan heads in that direction.
Before we get there, I pull him into the wall. I like this making out against the wall thing. I know we’ve done this before, but now that I know we came in here to have sex, I tense up again.
Ryan watches me for a beat and then kisses me hard on the mouth. His intensity opens up my insides and fresh heat spills out, spreading across my body.
"You’re nervous, huh?" he asks in my ear.
"Yeah, a little," I admit.
"Okay." He drops to his knees while pushing up my skirt at the same time.
This time, he pulls my panties down so they are just above my knees. The sensation is thrilling; feeling them tight across my lower thighs reminds me just how outside the box this really is. I'm about to say something when he pushes me against the wall, bracing my waist with his arm while diving into me with his mouth and tongue.
The heat of his mouth uncoils my need and it explodes across my body. That is now my most pressing thought, my most pressing need—my desire for Ryan. My need to come on his mouth.
He takes his other hand and pushes my legs apart. How he can both probe and suck at the same time, I'll never know, but the combination of sensations sends me crashing over the edge must faster than I expected.
My eyes fly open as the orgasm rips through me and a man across the room catches my eye. His partner is kneeling before him, just as Ryan is kneeling before me. My deja vu flashes before me. I've dreamt this before! The dream I had comes flooding back to me.
Ryan's mouth pulls hard one more time and disrupts my thoughts, shattering everything before this moment. The man across the room smiles at me. I close my eyes and let the orgasm run its course.
Ryan stands up immediately and leads me away from the wall, pushing us onto the bed the minute we get close enough. He rips my panties off completely and drops his pants. He doesn't wait, doesn't ask, doesn't stop. With quick precision he slides on a condom and lowers himself on top of me, thrusting inside of me almost all in one movement.
A moan escapes from my throat. I feel Ryan's jeans rubbing against my legs, my skirt bunching at the waist. I feel him filling me up, taking me. With an almost frantic pace, Ryan slides in and out of me, pushing my legs farther and farther apart. He leans up on his hands and looks down, surveying the scene below him.
I reach up and free my breasts from my shirt. Ryan moans and drops his head. Somehow he manages to suck my nipples, caress my breasts, and continue to thrust into me, over and over again.
The pleasure is overwhelming. As if all evening I was building for this release, reaching this satisfaction, I feel it building. The hot honey is filling me up, scorching my insides with each thrust. Each time his belt scrapes against my thigh, each time his shirt brushes against my stomach, each time his long hard cock hits the back of my vagina, I want to scream, it feels so good.
Sweat forms on his forehead, our bodies are slick where we are rubbing each other, a sheen of perspiration radiates off my skin. I feel the bed shift as another couple joins us, distracting me.
Ryan's voice brings me back to him, "Young," he says, ragged and hoarse.
I look up at him; his eyes are hooded as he watches me with his sexy, dark, spinning eyes. I can tell he’s on the edge. He’s holding himself up with his hands, cocooning me while slamming into me harder and harder.
My hand reaches out and touches his shoulders, feeling his muscles contract and flex beneath his skin. His breathing is controlled and steady, and I know if I can get him to lose control again, it will push me over the edge one more sweet, glorious time.
A quick glance around the room tells me that some couples are watching us and others are just listening. Feeling bold, I sit up slightly and take off my shirt. I'm now naked from the waist up.
"Oh, God," Ryan yelps and collapses on top of me.
Ryan continues to worship me with his hands and mouth, all while never stopping his forceful thrusts deep inside of me. "Nora. I'm coming," Ryan whispers in my ear.
With that I let go. I close my eyes and let the overwhelming sensations take over. No longer am I in a room with other people. No longer does it matter if people are watching me or not. There is no thought, only sensation. Momentarily, my mind goes beyond all thought, beyond all my earlier concerns. I feel Ryan freeze and then thrust deep inside of me, slamming his release into me, expanding the condom, the pleasure so intense I burst into a million pieces. Soon, there is nothing left but our breathing.
After what feels like forever, I hear Ryan.
"Nora," he whispers into my ear.
"Ryan," I whisper back.
"We have to get up now. We can't stay here."
"Really? How do we do that gracefully?" I ask him, completely serious, as my surroundings have come back to me.
"I think we just do it and hope that everyone is watching someone else," he says, almost giggling.
Oh, great! Ryan pulls out of me and sits up, struggling with his pants and the condom. I find my shirt, put it on and sit up, straightening my skirt as I go. I don't look around the room while I adjust my mask; I just don't want to know.
"There," Ryan says quietly to me, pointing to another couple on the bed.
Two completely naked people are in the throes of lovemaking, most eyes drawn to them. Thank God! I grab his hand and we walk out of the room.
We stumble into the dance floor and bar area, looking like we’ve been doing exactly what we’ve been doing. The bartender gives a nod and a smile. I cringe a little.
"Ryan, can we go?" I ask over the music.
"Yeah. Let's go."
We move past the thinning crowds toward the door. Glancing at the clock above the door when we get there, I see that it's almost three in the morning. Holy shit! How did it get so late?
Ryan seems pensive as we drive back to the hotel. My mind is blown. I’m exhausted, but still, that was exhilarating. I cannot believe we just did that. Hell, I didn't even know places like that existed.
"Hey. You okay?" Ryan asks as he parks the bike.
"Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. Tired, blown away, but good. You?"
"Yeah," he says, but is still extremely quiet.
We carefully make our way through the lobby and open the door quickly, so as not to disturb the other guests. Once inside, Ryan turns to me and wraps me in his arms.
"Damn, woman. You are one wild chick," he says, kissing my shoulder.
"Yeah, well, don't even think about it. I want to get into bed and sleep till tomorrow night," I say, pulling away from him.
After undressing, I collapse into bed to find Ryan's body already warming the covers.
"But seriously, Young. I’ve never had as much fun as I did with you tonight. You were amazing. And bold. And sexy."
"Yeah, yeah. Don't embarrass me," I say as I snuggle up to his chest. "I did have fun, though!"
He kisses the top of my head and I close my eyes.
"Okay, Young, but really. You blew me away tonight. I’ve never seen such an amazing, brave, sexy woman as you." He squeezes me tightly.
His tone of voice almost frightens me. He sounds
so serious and raw. I’m about to say something, but can't think what. Exhaustion takes over and I fall asleep held tightly in Ryan's arms.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Monday morning is brutal most weeks, however this one has got to be one of the worst. Walking into work after my amazing weekend with Ryan, the third in a row, I felt invincible. I walked in thinking that if life was so good outside the office, nothing inside the office could ruin my mood. Boy, was I wrong.
Sunday was relaxing and romantic. We slept late, ordered room service for breakfast, checked out around three in the afternoon, and drove home. We were both basking in our crazy sexual exploits from the night before. We ate an early dinner, took a long hot bath, and were in bed by nine. I couldn't have come up with a more pleasant day.
Now, in contrast, I have David in full-blown meltdown along with Colleen, Julie, a young bride, and her mother. And why, one might ask, is everyone freaking out? Because the red on the wedding invitations is not The Red! Not a bad red, mind you, but the wrong red.
Yep, this is what my work life has become, flipping out over the wrong red.
"Nora. I need you in the conference room ASAP," David's voice blasts over the intercom.
Rising from my desk, I take a deep breath. I’m having an extremely difficult time getting fired up about this 'error'.
"I just don't see how this can be fixed!" The bride's red-faced mother shrills when I open the door to the conference room.
Julie and David are frantically opening boxes and peering at the invitations, I assume to see if they all have the dreaded wrong red.
"Mrs. Clark, I assure you, this printer is the best printer in the business. This is the first time we have ever had a problem." Julie is doing her best to distract the woman from David's scowling face.
I walk over to the boxes and grab one. They look beautiful. Two toned with red and gold raised lettering on soft card stock. I see small pieces of art.
"David, may I see you outside, please?" I ask, in my most professional voice.
David looks up at me with harsh eyes and his hair askew. He looks like a wild animal. Even if the invitations were perfect, if my wedding planner looked like him, I'd be panicking too.
"Nora. Now is not a good time. Did you see these?" He thrusts a handful of invitations into my face.
"Yes David. Can we please talk in my office? I really, really need to talk to you." I give him a pleading look. "Excuse us a moment," I say to the young woman and her mother at the table.
Grabbing a hold of David's upper arm, I walk with him to the door.
"David, what is wrong with you?" I ask as soon as we are in my office, knowing that I am way out of line. No one gets in his way, but I am beyond caring.
He looks at me, startled.
"There is nothing wrong with these,” I begin, “Yes, they are a slightly different hue than you wanted, but this poor woman's wedding is in less than three months, and there‘s no way we can get these fixed in time. You’re just freaking them out."
He stares at me. Well, it's been fun working here, but I'll need to start looking for a new job soon.
"Well. Nora. I’m. I, I—" David stutters.
"Look, I'm sorry to be so abrupt, but we have to make this work. There’s no other way." I wait for the other shoe to drop.
"Well. Why can't we fix this, Nora?" David's tone is acidic. The only reason we’re still having a conversation is that I’m disagreeing with him in private.
"What I am saying is that even if the printer agreed to reprint, it would take another three weeks, putting the invitations out less than two months before the wedding. We can't do that to them. We need to have a conversation with the printers about their screw up, because they did screw up. But we need to save face with the bride."
I’m losing my patience. Who owns this business, anyway? He should know this; he’s acting childish and selfish. I know that I have jumped head first over a wall that will cost me my job, but I just can't see any other way to fix this. Taking a deep breath, I brace for his wrath.
"Damn, that is close. Too close. Okay, here's what we need to do: you go back in there and convince them that these are great, and I'll deal with the printer," he says matter-of- factly.
"I need to go convince them that these are fine, now?" I ask, stunned.
"Yes. I need to call the printer before I calm down." He walks out of my office. Problem solved.
Oh great. I did not see that coming.
Two hours and many tears later, the bride and her mother have left, having approved the invitations. I am supervising the rest of the wedding from here on out and keeping her away from David. I have not seen or heard from him, so I have no idea how the conversation with the printer went. I want to be in a world where the wrong red doesn't derail an entire wedding.
Sitting down at my desk with a fresh cup of coffee and a blueberry muffin, I google ‘LSAT prep classes’. I know it's a long shot, but I want to do something, anything, to feel like I’m making progress toward a goal. There are lots of online classes and tutoring. That will never work; I need hands on learning, teacher to student, in a room working with books.
When I’m just about to give up, I run across an ad for summer classes in Palo Alto. They have evening classes Tuesdays and Thursdays with a computer lab open seven days a week. But the classes started last week—Damn it.
After a lengthy conversation with the registrar, I convince them that I am a serious and mature student who is completely committed to the process. The lady finally relents and I’m allowed to start tomorrow. Hanging up the phone, I almost hyperventilate with excitement. I know it seems ridiculous to be this excited about an LSAT prep course, but I can't help it.
I look on the LSAT website and discover that there is a test in September. Four months away! After some quick calculations, I sit back and hold my breath. I can't believe this. If I do well on the test, I can apply for early admission this winter. That would put me in law school a year from September. I sit back and hold my breath.
I know it's a year-plus away, but I finally feel like I am going somewhere. I have started. With this first step, I’m going to get there.
I breathe out, almost giddy. I know better than to whoop and holler, today has been a nightmare of a day. Now I wish I'd really let David have it. In a little over a year, I won't be working here anyway.
That one thought alone makes my neck muscles relax and my breathing steadies. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Thinking back to where I was a month ago, I realize that I have come a long way. Something inside of me has broken loose and is no longer holding me back. Nothing seems out of reach anymore; law school, camping, motorcycles, even sex clubs! Do I dare say I am soaring? Have I really jumped and not crashed on my face? Is this what it feels like to really live life?
I think back to that dance at Sophia’s birthday so long ago. It all started with Ryan. That passion was so enticing, yet so abstract to me. What are the odds that he would end up here not two days later? Wanting to kiss fate, I smile to myself and manage to focus on my work for the rest of the afternoon.
~~~~~~~~
Tuesday night is warm. The air is dry and almost crackles. I walk back to my car from the prep class, my head filled with facts and vocabulary lists. What a change in pace this is going to be.
Going back to school is going to take some getting used to. I haven't studied in years and my brain is slow to start. Reluctantly, I remember why I passed on this the first time around. I'm not skipping out this time, but I do feel as if my brain is running through mud.
When I drive back to my apartment the lot is full. I need to park around the corner. Ugh! This is becoming a regular occurrence. There’s a spot about three blocks away, so I park and start walking back. About a block away from my car, the back of my neck starts to tingle and I notice that the street is dark. I’m just about to cross when a black mass comes out of nowhere and pushes me into the side street.
I scream, but then see a familiar
face come into focus.
"Darren! This is so not okay. You scared the shit out me!" I try to push him off of me, but he has me pinned to the wall.
“I just want to talk,” he slurs while holding me in place.
"Knock it off. We’re no longer together. This is creepy." I pause and wait for him to say something. This is really strange, even for him.
"Are you okay?" I ask him when he doesn't reply.
“Nora, Nora, Nora,” he slurs, his eyes cold and icy. He tilts his head to the side, easing his grip on my shoulders.
"Darren. What is the matter with you? Are you drunk?" I’m starting to freak out a little, but working hard to hold the panic at bay.
Just when I think he is going to let me go, he shakes his head and pushes me into the wall again. He pins my shoulders to the brick and starts clawing at my jeans. What in the hell? He’s surprisingly strong for being so drunk. I stop thinking and go into defense mode. Slapping him with my free hand doesn't do much, and he just growls, leaning harder on me.
My shoulders dig into the wall, hurting my upper back. I’m in complete shock. My ex-boyfriend has me pinned to a wall in an alleyway! This is absurd and scary at the same time. He has lost his mind!
I take a shaky breath and Darren starts reaching for my jeans again. My arms start flailing around, fighting him off. I can't believe this is happening to me!
"Darren, knock it off!"
I see his eyes, and they are smiling. He’s laughing at me? Anger surges, pushing adrenaline through my blood. Here I am trying to be polite and reasonable, and he’s laughing at me. Without thinking, my knee connects to his groin with a loud thud. I barely feel the hit, but Darren goes down fast.
"What the fuck! Don't ever call me. Don't ever come visit me. Just leave me the fuck alone. You sick bastard," I yell at him and run as fast as I can to my apartment.
Taking two stairs at time, I run to my door, keys in hand. With trembling fingers, I unlock the door and throw myself inside. Once inside, the shaking and hyperventilating take over. What the hell was that about?