by Various
“Awww!” Daisy’s eyes misted up too. “Now you’re going to make me cry. Promise me you’ll visit. You’d love it. And it’s warm. You can come out to escape the long, dreary winter here. Maybe come out for baby’s first Christmas?”
“I will absolutely be there for his first Christmas. And I want to hear the minute you go into labor.” Liz took a deep, calming breath. “Daisy?”
“Yeah?”
“You never told me who the father is,” she said softly.
Daisy stiffened. “Why, so you can go after him for child support? You know, I didn’t want to say anything, Liz, because I know you mean well, but this is part of the problem! You’re trying to take over my life!”
It felt like a slap. Liz had bent over backwards to help, and Daisy thought she was part of the problem? She blinked rapidly and hugged herself.
“I’m sorry, Liz,” Daisy said, putting an arm around her. “It’s just I need to do things my way. It’s my life.”
It’s also the baby’s life. Liz simply nodded. “Did you tell Mom and Dad?”
“Not yet.” Daisy grabbed a handful of baked chips and pushed off the sofa. “That’s my next stop. Wish me luck.”
Liz sank into the cushions, suddenly exhausted. “Good luck.”
The door shut behind Daisy, and Liz sat there for a moment, her mind numb with pain. Then she stood, headed for the kitchen, and started cleaning. She emptied all the cabinets and washed the liners. She reorganized her small pantry alphabetically by type of food. It was the only way she could think of to avoid falling apart. She stopped her frenzy of cleaning briefly to leave a message with Rachel that she needed to talk. She knew it’d have to wait for morning because Rachel was at her usual Friday night family Shabbat dinner. She turned to the refrigerator and started emptying.
Just as she finished cleaning the refrigerator, Daisy burst through the front door with a tear-streaked face and went straight to the bedroom. Liz followed her, opening the door without knocking—way beyond politeness at this point. “What’s wrong?”
“Mom and Dad said I have to stop running from my problems,” Daisy said, her mouth twisting in her misery. Finally someone calls her on it. “But I’m not! For once I’m just doing what’s best for me and the baby. You understand, right, Liz? I have to do this.”
And though she knew her parents were right, though she didn’t understand, Liz held her tongue. Because of the baby. Nothing was going to keep her from a close relationship with the baby, not even her sister.
“You always have to do what’s right for you and the baby,” Liz said. “That I understand.”
Daisy took that to be a measure of support. “Thanks, Liz,” she said, grabbing a tissue off the nightstand.
“I’m always here for you,” Liz said. “Get your rest. It’s very important for the baby.” Then she quietly shut the door, returned to the kitchen, and scrubbed the floor until it was spotless.
~ ~ ~
Liz stood on Rachel’s doorstep the next morning. Rachel took one look at her and immediately asked, “What’d Daisy do this time?”
“I just said I needed to talk,” Liz protested. “I didn’t say it was Daisy.” She followed Rachel into her apartment above Book It and joined her on the dark green chenille sofa.
Rachel’s eyes widened. “Did something happen with Ryan?”
“No!” Her shoulders slumped. “You’re right,” she admitted. “It’s Daisy.”
“I knew it. What happened?”
“She’s moving to New Mexico, like tomorrow. Just up and moving in with a friend out there. Says she’s going to work at a New Age spa.”
Rachel tilted her head, considering. “I gotta say it suits her.”
“Exactly! And now I’ll only see the baby once or twice a year. I’m going to miss everything. We were supposed to raise him together. I had everything planned out.”
Rachel was quiet a moment. “Maybe this won’t be all bad,” she said gently.
She stared at Rachel. “How? How is this not bad?”
“You’ll be single again. No strings. No responsibilities.”
“The important thing here is the baby. I want strings!”
Rachel pushed a silver bowl of dark chocolate Hershey Kisses a little closer to Liz.
Liz plunged her hand in the bowl, grabbing a handful. She unwrapped one and popped it in her mouth. “Maybe I should move with them.”
Rachel eyed her sympathetically. “Did Daisy ask you to do that?”
“No, but…” She trailed off, clutching the Kisses in her hand. Realization hit painfully clear. Daisy wasn’t just looking for a fresh start. She was trying to get away from her. Daisy’s words ran through her mind: You’re trying to take over my life! Liz thought she’d done everything right, and yet, a baby was still so far out of reach. “She said she wanted to stand on her own two feet.”
Rachel put a hand on Liz’s arm. “So let her.”
“But what if she fails? There’s a child at stake here.”
“I’m sure if there’s a problem, you’ll be the first to hear about it.” She tapped Liz’s hand. “Loosen your grip, you’re gonna have a puddle of melted chocolate in your hand in a minute.”
Liz opened her hand, where five crinkled Kisses sat. “Do you have the bag for these? I need to see the nutrition label.”
“No, and I’m not digging through the trash. Nutrition is zero, comfort is one hundred percent.”
Liz dropped the Kisses on the table and hugged her friend. “So are you.”
“Look, we’re both single now,” Rachel said. “I’m ready, and it’s past time for you. Let’s take the next step. We’ll dive into the deep end together. Okay, chicken?”
It was an old refrain between the two of them. Rachel called her chicken when she thought Liz was holding back, not being brave enough to go for it. Which, of course, wasn’t true. She wanted to be a teacher, and she was. She called Rachel egg for being such an egghead, so wrapped up in her own brainiac thoughts that she missed the details of real life. Like the fact that she could wear mismatched socks, even mismatched shoes, and never notice.
Still, the deep end?
“You mean Internet dating?” Liz asked with horror.
Rachel laughed. “You should see the look on your face. No, I mean it’s time to get laid.”
“Rachel! I can’t just hook up with some random guy.”
“How about a guy who takes his time, knows his way around a woman’s hot zones, and presses all your buttons. Orgasm city.”
Liz’s face heated up. “Where do you find a guy like that?”
“We’ll put it out to the Universe.” She pulled Liz to the front window in her tiny dining area and opened it. “Universe, we’d like to get laid with Mr. Slow and Thorough!” she hollered out the window to Main Street.
An elderly man walking his dachshund looked up, startled.
“Oops! Not you!” Rachel said, slamming the window.
“He’d probably be slow,” Liz quipped.
They collapsed in giggles.
“See,” Rachel managed to say in between fits of laughter, “it’s not that hard to snag a man.”
~ ~ ~
Liz tied on a red Garner’s Sports Bar & Grill apron later that night, joining her parents at their concession stand at Clover Park’s annual Fourth of July fireworks at the high school’s football stadium. Her father was grilling burgers, hot dogs, and veggie burgers while her mother helped with drinks and sides. Liz took the orders and helped out wherever else they needed her. Keeping busy helped keep her mind off her sister leaving. Daisy was sitting in the bleachers with some old friends from high school, enjoying her last night in town.
Rachel and her older sister Sarah were next in line, along with Sarah’s three kids: David, Leah, and Olivia. The kids were two, four, and six years old, with David being the oldest.
“Hello, everyone,” Liz said with a smile.
Rachel and Sarah smiled back.
“Hello,” David
piped up. “We’d like three juice boxes, please.” He was a pint-size adult and liked to feel he was in charge.
Liz fetched some juice boxes. “Here you go.” He promptly gave two to his sisters, who were holding hands.
“They’re growing like weeds,” Liz told Sarah.
“Tell me about it.” Sarah laughed. “And we’ve got another one on the way.”
Liz’s eyes were immediately drawn to Sarah’s stomach, but no sign of it yet.
“It’s early days,” Sarah said.
“Congratulations,” Liz said, a pang of loss going through her again, knowing Daisy was taking the baby away from her tomorrow.
She took their orders, and they stepped to the side to the pick-up area.
“Come find us,” Rachel called. “We’re right at the fifty-yard line.”
“I will.” Liz watched as Sarah bought three glow necklaces and put one over little two-year-old Olivia’s head. The girl beamed with pride, and Liz smiled wistfully.
“Four hot dogs with the works,” a familiar voice said.
Liz snapped her attention back to the line and jolted with surprise. “Maggie, you came!” She reached across the counter to hug her. Ryan and Shane stood by her side. Unlike his brothers, Shane had red hair and blue eyes, a callback from some Irish ancestor. He was tall and solid, like Ryan, but with a softness about him—soft eyes, gentle expression, soft belly.
“Hi, Shane,” Liz said warmly. “Ryan,” she said in as normal a voice as she could manage given his eyes bored into hers and his gray T-shirt stretched across his chest and biceps, blatantly advertising that he worked out. Her throat went dry.
“Hey, Liz,” Shane said. “Happy Fourth.”
“Liz,” Ryan said in a deep, husky voice that sent shivers through her.
“I haven’t been here in years,” Maggie said, smiling and waving to Liz’s parents working in the back. “How’re ya, Clive? Heather? Business good?”
“We’re good, Mrs. O’Hare,” Heather said with a smile. “What handsome grandsons you have.”
“Don’t I know it!” Maggie said.
“Business is good,” Clive called, pointing with his spatula. “Check out the line.”
Maggie looked behind her. “Geez, they must have seen me and all gotten in line. I’m very influential that way.”
Clive chuckled and turned back to the grill.
“So what changed your mind about coming here this year?” Liz asked.
“I said the hell with being tired,” Maggie proclaimed. “I’m staying up for fireworks. And the boys agreed to take me.”
Shane shrugged. “It’s no problem.”
“Next time, Shane should sell his ice cream with you all,” Maggie said.
“Gran, you don’t have to speak for me,” Shane said, flushing red.
“That’s a great idea,” Heather said. “We’d love to have you.”
After Liz took their orders, Maggie said, “Come sit with us when you’re done here.”
“I’m supposed to sit with Rachel,” Liz said.
“Bring her along! We’ll be sitting by the parking lot exit to beat traffic. Trav’s holding our seats for us.”
“I’ll try,” Liz said, though she had no intention of sitting through the fireworks next to his royal hotness.
Maggie and Shane went to the pick-up area. Ryan just stood there, looking way too sexy for his own good.
“I have to take the next person’s order,” Liz said, leaning to the side to look around him.
Ryan stepped to the side, and after she took the next order, he said, “You look good in an apron.”
She grabbed a hot dog bun and threw it at his head.
He caught the bun right before it made impact and grinned devilishly. “You’re lucky you’re behind that counter.”
She laughed. Then she realized she had to quit her job and wouldn’t have an excuse to see him or Maggie anymore. With Daisy gone, she didn’t feel right taking his money. Daisy had been very clear she wanted to do things on her own now.
“I guess,” Liz said, suddenly choked up.
He studied her curiously. “All right, I’ll see ya,” he said finally.
She nodded and turned to the next person in line, purposely not looking at Ryan, though she could feel him watching her from where he stood with Shane and Maggie. She put extra effort into being cheerful for the customers.
She helped her parents for another hour until her mom shooed her out. “It’s getting dark. Go ahead and see the fireworks. We’ll clean up here.”
“It’s okay, Mom. I can help.” She wasn’t in the mood for fireworks.
Just then Daisy appeared. “C’mon, Liz, it’s almost time.”
And because it was her last night with Daisy, she took off her apron and followed her sister. As the crowd oohed and aahed over the colorful display, Liz thought of the baby and the little boy he’d become, and all the other families returning year after year. Her nephew would never know this tradition. He’d be part of new traditions out West, far, far from home.
Next year, she’d be watching the fireworks with Rachel. Her time with Maggie a distant memory. She thought of Ryan, the way he teased her. No guy had ever joked around with her like he did. She didn’t know how to handle it—hated feeling off-kilter when he was around—but she had to admit, he was growing on her. If it hadn’t been for The Humiliation and his well-known reputation for dumping women after three dates, she might have even considered…something.
The last firework display sailed into the air with a whistle, and her sister grinned at her and squeezed her hand. Green sparks shot through the sky, followed by silver, and tiny swirls of red, white, and blue. Her first and last Fourth of July with her nephew.
Chapter Nine
Liz woke early the next morning to say goodbye to her sister. Their father had agreed to drive Daisy to the airport. Their mother was still too mad over her daughter’s departure to make an appearance.
“Dad, you look so different,” Liz told him when he arrived. She touched his hair. “So young. It looks good.” He was sixty-five and had dyed his white hair back to its original blond.
He patted his hair. “Yeah? Daisy did it for me yesterday. You know I try to keep fit, and she pointed out it was the one thing that made me look old. So, she fixed it.”
Daisy hustled by with a duffel bag overflowing with clothes. She’d stopped by her old apartment with their dad yesterday to pick up the rest of her stuff. “Doesn’t he look great?”
“Yes,” Liz said. “Wait, you can borrow my suitcase. It has wheels, and you can fit more.”
“Are you sure? You won’t need it?” Daisy pushed her long, flyaway hair out of her face.
“I’ll borrow one from Mom and Dad when I come out to visit and bring mine back then. Okay, Dad?” Liz asked.
“Fine by me.” He remained standing, jangling his keys, his signal that they needed to get on the road. He should be used to waiting for them to get ready by now. Liz wasn’t too worried, her dad had shown up extra early, and there was still time.
She pulled her suitcase from her bedroom closet and repacked Daisy’s stuff while Daisy headed for the kitchen to grab some snacks for the plane. Sundresses, huge maternity underwear, bras, pajamas, and a large makeup case. She slipped her favorite book, What to Expect When You’re Expecting, into a side pocket.
Daisy stepped into the bedroom just as Liz finished packing, and gave her a brilliant smile. “I’m ready. We good?”
Liz rolled over the suitcase. “We’re good,” she said with a watery smile.
Daisy hugged her tightly. “I’ll never forget what you did for me. I love you, sis.”
“Love you too,” Liz mumbled into her sister’s shoulder.
And then she was off. Her father took over the suitcase, hollered, “Bye, love!” and the door slammed behind them.
Her apartment was quiet.
Liz got to work.
She changed the sheets on the bed and straightened up the be
droom, removing several towels from the dreaded treadmill. She hadn’t used it since Daisy had moved in. She kept it in her bedroom to remind her of the work that came with excess calories. She moved on to her closet, cleaned her bathroom, the kitchen (though it was still pretty clean from her last go-through), and finally the living room. By the time she finished, it was like Daisy had never lived there.
That night, she sat alone at her kitchen table and ate a dinner of leftover quiche with the pinot grigio that had been waiting in her refrigerator since Daisy’s arrival. She would’ve felt guilty drinking wine in front of Daisy, knowing her sister couldn’t have any. The wine was as good as the review she’d read in the store. Still, she stopped at one glass, unwilling even in her sad state to up the calories on MyFoodBuddy enough to require the treadmill.
Her cell vibrated on the counter, and she picked it up. A text from Rachel.
Rachel: How are you?
Liz: Fine
Rachel: Want me to come over?
Liz: Going to bed early
Rachel: Remember the silver lining. We’re Swinging Singles.
Liz snorted.
Rachel: Sexy Singles
Liz: LOL
Rachel: :p Night
Liz: Night
Inspired by Rachel’s insistence on looking for the good in the situation, she grabbed the notepad she kept on the counter for messages and grocery lists and wrote:
Silver Lining
My bed
Dancing in the living room
Guilt-free wine drinking
That was all she could think of. The loss of Daisy and her nephew weighed heavily on her heart. She stuck the list on her refrigerator with a magnet to remind her of the good in going back to her old life. She went to her room and pulled the baby blue footy pajamas she’d bought out of the closet. They were so tiny, so sweet, with a teddy bear embroidered on the front and little bears with ears sticking out of the footies. She’d bring it with her as soon as she heard her sister was in labor. She wouldn’t miss a thing.
She broke down in tears.
She would miss everything.
~ ~ ~
Liz sat on the loveseat in Maggie’s living room with a cup of tea and Milano cookies on Monday morning, trying to think of the best way to explain the situation.