Well shit.
I pulled in a deep breath and prepared to give my first ever rejection. Thank God I was a little drunk. “Look, Alex. You seem like a great guy—”
“Oh wow. The kiss of death.”
“I’m sorry,” I said sympathetically. “I really am. I’ve just got a lot going on in my life right now. I’m kind of a mess.”
“Well, how about this?” Alex picked up my phone and started typing something out. “I’ve enjoyed hanging out with you tonight. If there comes a time when you’re feeling like less of a mess, why don’t you give me a call, yeah?”
He handed my phone to me and I saw he’d saved his number in my contacts. I smiled and answered, “I’ll be sure to do that,” even though I knew I wouldn’t be calling him.
Eliza handed me a mug of hot tea and plopped down on the couch next to me later that night. We’d stayed at the bar long enough for me to sober up. By the time we got home, Ethan and I were both ready to crash, but Eliza had some sort of crazy hormonal surge which made her as alert as ever. Since Ethan had played earlier, he had an excuse to go to bed. I decided to stay up with her so we could catch up, just the two of us. “So…” she started with a sly grin. “You and Alex seemed to really hit it off.”
I rolled my eyes. Of course she’d think that. She and her husband had spent seventy percent of the evening with their tongues stuck down each other’s throats, clueless to everything going on around them.
At least she wasn’t totally wrong. We had hit it off enough to keep each other company while our friends went at it like horny teenagers.
“Not going to happen, Eliza. Drop it,” I warned.
Her head cocked to the side as she regarded me, her face suddenly awash with concern. “What’s going on with you, babe?”
I brought the mug to my lips and blew before taking a sip, all the while, keeping my eyes diverted. “What do you mean?”
“Something’s off. You haven’t been yourself lately. And I’m not just talking about this weekend. Every time I call you’re… I don’t know, distracted or something.”
I tried to look placating as I shrugged. I came to escape, not rehash all the bad shit going on in my life. “I don’t know. I guess I’m just busy with the school and stuff.”
She shook her head and leaned forward, sitting her own mug on the coffee table so she could turn her entire body to face me. “That’s not it. I’ve seen you busy around this time of year. I know what that’s like. This is different.” She paused and studied my face, like she could read me. “Talk to me, honey. You’ve always been there for me whenever I needed you. Let me do the same.”
I let out a deep sigh and placed my mug down next to hers as my nose began to sting. There was no point in trying to keep it to myself any longer. I knew Eliza well enough to know she wasn’t going to let this go. I also knew I needed her more than anything at this very moment. For those reasons, I found myself opening my mouth and admitting, “Dad’s dying.” It physically hurt to say those two words out loud.
“What?”
“Cancer,” I said in a raspy, pained voice. “It was too far gone by the time they found it. There’s nothing they can do.” My chin quivered as the first of many tears broke free. “He’s dying.”
“Oh my God.” And just like that, she was across the couch, wrapping me in her arms and holding on tight. “I’m so sorry. So, so sorry, Lilly. I can’t believe this.”
I pulled back with a sniffle and wiped at my cheeks. “Yeah. Me too.”
“So that’s why you wanted to come this weekend? To de-stress?”
Part of the reason, I thought. Instead of saying that out loud, I simply nodded. “Yeah.”
“Shit. And here I am, trying to set you up on a date. God, I suck so bad!”
I managed a laugh and took her hand in mine. “You don’t suck. You didn’t know.”
Her shoulders squared and she lifted her chin in determination. “Well, if you need to de-stress, then that’s exactly what we’re going to do for the rest of the weekend. I’m talking manicures, pedicures, facials, massages… the full spa treatment.”
My head fell back against the couch. I could just imagine how amazing it would feel to be pampered. “That sounds amazing.”
“Totally. And to make you feel even better, we’re going to put the whole thing on Ethan’s credit card.” She winked and we both burst into laughter.
“You know me so well,” I teased.
“Damn right I do.” She picked up her mug and settled back into the couch, her entire demeanor shifting from humorous to serious. “I’m here, Lilly. I might not physically be in Pembrooke, but I’m always here for you. Don’t ever doubt that.”
“I know, sweetie,” I whispered. “But you’re pregnant and I didn’t—”
She shot me a cutting glare. “Pregnant or not, that doesn’t change the fact that you’ve been my best friend since elementary school. I practically grew up in your house. I love your folks like they’re my second family. You’ve always had my back whenever I needed it. Now it’s my turn to return the favor. Let me do that for you.”
Somehow I managed to speak past the mass of emotions building up in my throat. “Okay.” There was no point in arguing with her.
“So what can I do for you, huh? How can I help?”
I looked from the mug back to her and answered, “You can get me drunk. Very, very drunk.”
She smiled brightly at me. “I can totally do that.”
17
Quinn
I wasn’t even sure how it happened, but I’d somehow managed to sink to a whole new low.
I was stalking Lilly’s Facebook and Instagram pages like a creep. But when I stopped by the dance school and found out from that Kyle guy that she’d gone to Denver for the weekend, I kind of lost my mind. I hadn’t seen her in three days. I was like a junky in need of a fix. If Eliza’s last comment on her Facebook page was anything to go by, Lilly should be on her way back home today. Unfortunately, I was in the middle of a shift at the department and had another twelve hours to go.
I needed to talk to her. I had to apologize face to face and try to make things right. But mostly, I needed to find out why the fuck there were so many pictures of her on Alex Sanders’ Instagram page and what happened over the weekend to make them look so goddamned cozy together.
I’d texted her countless times over the weekend, even called twice, trying to get her to talk to me, but each one went unanswered. That was, until earlier this morning. She finally replied back saying: In Denver. Will be home tonight. See you at Sophia’s class Wednesday.
I had no fucking clue how to interpret that, but it left me feeling uneasy. I’d asked her if we could talk, and instead of saying yes or giving me a time to meet, I had to wait two goddamned days after she got home to see her, and even then, it would only be in passing when I dropped my daughter off and picked her up.
I was going out of my mind.
“Hey man.” I jumped at the sound of Tony’s voice coming from behind me. Before I had a chance to shut my laptop down, he and Carpenter moved in. “Hey, isn’t that Lilly? And is that…”
“Holy shit!” Carpenter exclaimed. “Is that Alex Sanders?”
“Yes,” I hissed through clenched teeth.
“Dude, his hand’s really close to her tits. I thought she was your girl.”
I gave Carpenter a bewildered look even as the image of that particular picture of Lilly and Alex seared itself to the backs of my eyelids. “What? She’s not my girl. Where the hell’d you come up with that idea?”
Tony and Carpenter glanced at each other, both with a cocked eyebrow, before turning back to me. “Uh… maybe because you watched her like you wanted to take a bite out of her that time she stopped by?” Carpenter said.
“Or because you talk about her all the damn time like a pussy-whipped teenager?” Tony added.
“Or that you’re constantly texting her?”
“Or stalking her social media accounts in t
he middle of work?”
“All right!” I shouted, cutting them both off. “You’ve made your point.” I slammed the laptop closed and scrubbed my face with both hands. “Fuck,” I hissed. “This whole thing’s a goddamned mess.”
Carpenter grabbed an apple from the bowl on the counter and leaned back, crossing his ankles as he took a bite. “So, she’s not your girl?” he asked through a full mouth.
“No,” I grunted.
“Then… you wouldn’t mind if I made a move?”
All I saw was red as I glared at him. “Touch her, and I’ll break every bone in your fucking body.”
He shot a smirk in Tony’s direction and muttered, “Not his girl my ass,” before taking another bite.
I was just about to rip into him when my cellphone rang from my back pocket. I stood and pulled it out, and as soon as I saw the name on the screen, moved out of the kitchen into the empty bay for some privacy.
“Ethan, man. What’s up?”
“Hey, you got a second?”
The tone of his voice instantly set me on edge. “Sure. What’s going on? Everything okay?”
“Yeah, everything’s good. I just need to ask a favor. You know Eliza’s friend, Lilly?”
My shoulders went stiff at the mention of her name. “What about her?”
He let out a sigh. “She came to Denver for the weekend, and she confided in Eliza that things are pretty tough for her right now. Apparently her dad’s really sick. It’s not looking too good, and even though she tried to hide it, Eliza said she’s taking it pretty hard.”
I’d spent the past few days in misery as jealousy gnawed at my insides over the photos of Lilly with another man, and now, knowing that she’d confided in Eliza about her father — something that she’d only shared with me up to this point — only compounded that ache.
Yep, it was official. I really had lost my mind. I had no right to be jealous over her relationship with her best friend. But logical or not, I was.
“So what’s that got to do with me?” I snapped. I hadn’t intended for my words to come across as harsh as they did. I guess it was all par for the course of going insane.
“Uh…” he trailed off, obviously reading my sudden mood change and not knowing how to react. “Well, it’s just that we’re worried about her. She’s heading back to Pembrooke and we’re both in Denver for another couple of months, so we can’t really keep an eye on her. I know you two don’t know each other that well…” Oh, if you only knew. I guess Lilly hadn’t confided in Eliza about our so-called friendship while she was there. And for some crazy reason, that pissed me off even more than goddamned Alex Sanders. “But I wanted to see if maybe you’d watch out for her? Just for a little while. You know, make sure she’s doing okay until we can get there. I just want to make sure she’s all right.”
My mouth opened and the words began pouring out before I could consider pulling them back. “And why is it suddenly your job to look after her?”
There was no mistaking the bite my tone carried. Ethan remained silent for several seconds, then finally he asked, “What’s with the fucking hostility, dude? If you can’t take some time out of your goddamned day, then never mind. I’ll ask someone else.”
“You know she’s not your responsibility, right?” I sneered. “You already have a wife.”
“Whoa! What the hell? Seriously, man. What’s your problem?”
It was like I’d detached from my body, like I was hovering over myself yelling to shut the hell up, but the word vomit just wouldn’t stop. “My problem is that you’ve got a pregnant wife you need to be looking after, but instead of doing that, you’re thinking about another woman.”
“Wait…” I could hear his breathing coming through the line, and it finally dawned on me what I’d just let slip. “I haven’t told you Eliza’s pregnant.”
He hadn’t. I’d gotten that bit of news from Lilly. She’d even gone as far as to ask me not to let on I knew so Ethan could tell me himself. “Sure you did,” I lied… badly.
“No. I haven’t. I’m pretty sure I’d remember telling you. The only ones that know so far are our families and… fuck me.”
I dropped my head and closed my eyes, rubbing at my temple with my fingers. “Look, man. I’m sorry. I—”
“Do you have something going on with Lilly?”
I sighed through the phone. “It’s not like that.”
“Holy shit,” he cut me off. “This makes so much sense now! I couldn’t figure out why she wouldn’t go for Alex when she was here. I mean, he’s a cool guy, can get tail pretty much whenever the hell he wants. But she wasn’t having any of it. I just thought it was because of everything with her dad.”
My jaw ticked uncontrollably as I tried not to picture that fucker putting the moves on Lilly. “Or maybe she just wasn’t interested.”
He scoffed and I wanted to reach through the phone and punch the shit out of him. “Not interested in the pro-football player that has more money in the bank than he knows what to do with, and was just voted one of People’s most eligible bachelors? I’m straight as an arrow, brother, and I love my wife, but even I’m not that blind. What’s going on with you two?”
My hand moved from my temple to rake through my hair as I began to pace around the bay. “Nothing. We’re just friends.”
“I’m not stupid either, man. You just ripped me a new asshole for voicing concern about my wife’s best friend, so don’t try and sell me that ‘just friends’ bullshit. I’m not buying.”
“I fucked up,” I finally admitted after a long, tense silence. “Several times. I acted like a dick. We really are just friends, but I need to make it right somehow, and I don’t have the first fucking clue how to do that.”
I expected advice, or maybe even some ribbing at my own expense. What I didn’t expect was what came out of his mouth next. “Don’t go there with her, Quinn. Not right now.”
I stopped mid pace and asked defensively, “What’s that supposed to mean?”
There wasn’t an ounce of humor in Ethan’s voice as he explained, “What it means is, you aren’t capable of something long term. I get it, man. I do. I can’t imagine what you’ve gone through, but Lilly’s in a bad place right now. She doesn’t need you jerking her chain at the same time. If you can’t be there for her… like really be there, then you need to back off.”
The fuck? “I’m not jerking her chain,” I snarled.
“Yeah. You are. I saw that girl when she was here. I didn’t get it then, but I do now. She barely even looked at another guy. And believe me, it wasn’t for lack of trying on the dudes’ parts. Whether or not something’s going on now, or just leading in that direction, she’s already invested. I’m not trying to be a dick—”
“Really?” I snapped sarcastically. “Could have fucking fooled me.”
“I’m looking out for both of you, all right? Unless you’re ready to move on, this is going to end badly. For everyone involved.”
“Ethan, you don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I don’t? Really? So that means you aren’t still wearing your wedding ring, right?”
I looked down at my hand, the gold band still prominent against my tanned skin. At my lack of response, he continued. “She needs peace right now, Quinn. Her dad’s dying and you’re still mourning a ghost. Just move on.”
I was still staring at my hand as my fingers curled into a fist so tight my knuckles turned white. It took everything I had to keep from exploding as I warned, “You’re coming dangerously close to crossing a line with me you do not want to cross. You don’t talk about my wife, understand? And my relationship with Lilly is none of your goddamned business.”
He sighed heavily. “Look, I’m not going to keep pushing. I’ve said my piece, but know this. You hurt her and I’ll be on the first goddamn plane to Pembrooke to kick your ass.”
With that, he hung up.
Leaving me reeling.
18
Quinn
Walking through the glass doors of the dance studio, I scanned the front desk area and the window behind that housed Lilly’s office, desperate for a glimpse of her. When I dropped Sophia off earlier, she hadn’t been anywhere in sight, and I was forced to leave, disappointment resting heavy on my shoulders. It had become an addiction of mine, seeing her. That dimpled smile, the way her amber eyes glimmered every time she laughed, it frightened the shit out of me, how desperate I was for just those little tastes, but every time I tried pulling back from her, something was there to jerk me right back. Usually it was the pain on her beautiful face every time I did or said something to hurt her in an attempt to keep her at arm’s length.
I just couldn’t help myself. I knew Ethan was right to warn me off, but staying away was impossible. What I felt for her was more than just a physical attraction. That was definitely there, believe me. But I found I craved her infectious sense of humor just as much, if not more. I fought her friendship, knowing that if there was one person who’d be able to breach the impenetrable walls I’d surrounded myself with it’d be her, but I was a glutton for punishment and couldn’t stay away.
Even though I knew hurting her was inevitable. I could never be the man she needed. I didn’t have it in me to give her a life. There would never be a white picket fence with babies and pets running around. I’d had that dream once and I still burned from the memories.
When I didn’t find her anywhere in the lobby area, I gave up my search and headed for the studio where Sophia’s class was being held. Usually the kids were running around like they’d just executed a successful prison break at the end of class, but pushing through the door and stepping into the studio, I was taken aback to find that not only were they all sitting completely still, facing the wall of mirrors, but even the parents weren’t moving, with smiles on their faces as they faced forward.
Welcome to Pembrooke: The Complete Pembrooke Series Page 52