by T. R. Graves
"Have a good day, Miss Riddle," he says, leaving me to eat alone.
I stare down at the food he so eagerly presented. There’s nothing appetizing about the watery eggs, floppy bacon, bland grits, or pasty biscuit, but I eat because Dr. Bryson said that me tolerating food is a condition of my discharge.
No matter how bad the food is, there’s nothing that can take away from my first cup of coffee in days. It may be weak, but it’s delicious. After my first sip, I abandon the food—making sure to push it around so it looks like I've eaten more than I have—and appreciate the tiny boost of energy I'm getting from the watered-down cup of coffee.
While I sip my drink, I study the tray. The tan melamine reminds me of the red food trays we use at the union hall. The union hall reminds me of the whores. The whores remind me of Sammie. Sammie reminds me of Lorenzo's new infatuation with her... and Phil's love for her.
It occurs to me that I could accidentally tell Phil about Lorenzo and Sammie. If I do that before Lorenzo has a chance to tell Owen my secret, Lorenzo's story about me and Levi will look retaliatory. Owen will instantly suspect Lorenzo's intensions and never trust another word he says.
I'm not dishonest, but instinctively, I know I’ll lie, cheat, and steal with the best of them if it will save Levi.
Dragging me from my reverie, Sheila rushes into my room. She seems really busy. Despite that, she takes a few seconds to raise her eyebrows and nod her head. She obviously appreciates how much better I look now that I'm cleaned up and dressed. When she glances down at my tray, she scowls. There was no fooling her.
"I ate some of it, and it didn't make me sick at all. I'm just not hungry enough to eat any more." I bite my lip before asking. "Will that keep me from leaving?"
Sheila shakes her head. "Let's see how lunch goes," she says, picking the tray up and putting it on a cart outside. "I'll see if I can convince someone to bring you something you'll like a little better," she whispers like it's a secret the hospital's food is awful and she might get fired for saying it out loud.
Watching her bustle around my room, straightening it and making sure everything I need is in my reach, I know I’ll never forget this nurse. I really do appreciate everything she's done for me over the last few days.
"You're gonna be tired for another week or two. Get you some rest while the room's quiet, and I'll work on your lunch," she says before leaving.
As soon as the door closes behind her, my room's phone rings. I look around, unsure if I should answer it. After two more rings, I shrug, reach over, and grab it.
"Hello," I say.
"Emi, I don't want you to leave there today," Tess says frantically. "Lorenzo's out of jail, and he's madder than a wet hen."
"Aunt Tess, is he bein' mean to you?" I say, instantly getting riled up. I hadn't realized how worried I'd been for her until I heard her voice and felt my shoulders lift.
"He's not gonna do anythin' while Owen's around. Don't worry about me. You just need to do whatever it takes to have Dr. Bryson keep you another day. I suspect Tope'll be out here before the end of the day to bring him back to jail. Now, I gotta go. I hear someone comin'," Tess says, before the line goes dead.
I might be glad to hear Tess's is okay and that Lorenzo isn’t torturing her, but I'm frustrated by the things I didn't get to ask her. I want to know how she got a phone to call me and when she’ll be coming back to the hospital and if she’s already talked to Tope.
Tope
"What do you fucking mean Lorenzo Bijou's been released?" I ask Sherriff Murray before snatching up my keys and heading toward the door.
I'm not sure whose fuckup this is, but they better be ready to pack their shit and find another job.
"Calm down, Tope. It was a rookie, and he made a mistake. He feels real bad about being tricked by Caleb Preston. You've worked with Caleb. You know how good he is at convincin' people they don't know what they're doin'. This was a valuable lesson for this young man, but I don't think he needs to be fired," Sherriff Andrew Murray says with a calmness that makes me want to jump through the phone and choke him.
"Don't talk to me like I'm one of the people you’re trying to convince to vote for you, Andy. I'm the last person on the planet that will work on," I yell.
"I'm not tryin' to do anythin' but help you think rationally about all of this. He's only out until we can get some men out to the commune and bring him back in. They’re on their way out there now," Andy says.
"I want to know the instant they have him in custody. Do you understand me?"
"I'll call you myself. How's that?"
"Andy?"
"Yeah, Tope."
"You better hope he don't step one foot out of line while he's out. If he does, I'm going to make sure the entire parish knows whose fuckup this is. Do you hear me?"
"I hear you," Andy says before disconnecting our call.
Pinching the bridge of my nose, I dial Levi's phone. He'll kill me if he finds out Lorenzo's out of jail and I'm not the one who tells him.
Emily
Before I have too much time to think, the phone rings again. I grab it quickly this time. I'm sure it's Tess calling back.
"Hello," I say hastily.
It's not Tess at all. It's Levi. "Em, babe, is Tess with you?" he asks, and I can tell by the tone of his voice that he's every bit as anxious as Tess.
"No. She went back to the union hall. Why are you askin'?"
"Well, I don't want to worry you, but there's been a mistake and someone accidentally released Lorenzo." He pauses as if he's giving me news I need to digest.
I may have needed him to break the news gently to me if I didn't already know about Lorenzo’s freedom, but I know all about it. I'm no longer shocked or scared. I've had time to come to terms with it and move on. Now, I'm searching for a way to neutralize Lorenzo and counteract his next move.
For Levi's sake, I play along. "How did he get out after hittin’ a police officer?"
Levi moans in frustration. "We don't know. Tope's at the jail now demanding that person's job. In the meantime, Gran's not going to release you until he's back behind bars. Don't worry too much. Tope has agents at the hospital watching to see if he shows up there."
I can hear every ounce of worry Levi has for me in his voice. The absolute last thing I need for him to do is something stupid like go to the commune and confront Lorenzo... or Owen... or my brothers. My job is to pretend I don't know what's in store for me or what I'm going to have to do when I go back home.
"Even if he comes here, he won't do anythin' to me. It's too public." I lie.
Levi ponders what I've just said. With a lot less anxiety, he says, "Listen, I was in the shower when Tope called. I'm going to get dried off and dressed. I'll be back over there as soon as I can. That'll take about a half hour at the most. If you need anything before then, call me or Tope."
"Levi, I'm fine. There's no need for you to rush. Get cleaned up, and I'll see you soon."
"I will. I love you, Em." I can tell by the tone in his voice I've calmed his nerves as much as possible.
"I love you, too."
"I'll see you in a few."
"'Kay."
When the phone goes silent this time, I have that same sense of being sad and ill at ease that's plagued me my entire life. Something about talking to Levi sooths that uneasiness and makes me feel happy and content. The second it gets stripped from me, I'm taken aback for a few seconds. The difference is so obvious, depressing, that I swear I never want to live life without Levi. It makes me more determined than ever to rid myself of the commune and every bad thing that lives there.
I lean my head back, close my eyes, and think only of Levi, our time together, and his beauty. Before long, I'm lulled into a tranquility that only thoughts of Levi bring to me. With the room completely silent, my eyes closed, and me leaning back in the recliner, I doze off. Sleep, this time, is good because my dreams follow the wonderful thoughts I have before I doze. The Levi of my dreams is nearly angelic.
Levi
I'm opening the door of my brand-new Stingray Corvette. It was a peace offering from my parents. I love the car so I took their gift, but I didn’t accept their apology. In my book, there are lots of things you can apologize for, but not being the parents you could have or should have been is not one of them.
As soon as the car roars to life, the dashboard screen lights up and lets me know I have a call. The number is foreign. It's not coming from anyone who's ever called me before.
I hit the accept button on the steering wheel while backing out of the garage.
"Hello," I say. Even to my own ears, my patience sounds short.
"Is this Levi Bryson?" the male caller asks.
"Yes. What can I do for you?"
After a sardonic chuckle, the man says, "We ain't been formally introduced, but you should know that I'm Emily Riddle's fiancé. Me and her are gonna get married at the end of the summer."
I should probably be worried, but hearing this man's voice and knowing what he's capable of doing, fuels my rage.
"What's that have to do with me?" I say, looking around the driveway to see if Tope's Jeep is around.
"Oh, it has everything to do with you. I plan to make sure Owen knows about Emily's little excursions out of and back into the commune. She'll be lucky if he don't beat her to death for sneakin' around with the district attorney's cousin," Lorenzo says.
"I'll take her away from there. None of you will ever be able to lay hands on her again."
"I wouldn't count on that. He has too many people helpin' him out. Look how easy it was for me to get outta jail," Lorenzo taunts.
"You'll be back in there in just a few hours. Don't worry about that."
"I'm not. We have more hidin' places than your cousin will ever be able to search. The one thing I know for sure is that I'll be able to kill Emily before I'll get arrested," Lorenzo says, and I can hear his smugness.
It’s in that very moment that I realize that I must take matters into my own hands. Emily can't wait for Tope's men to hunt, find, and arrest Lorenzo.
Tope may not be able to get to him, but I'll bet he'll meet with me.
"Listen... why don't we meet—you and me—man to man? Let's work this out once and for all," I say.
"That's exactly what I was thinkin'. Man to man. I should warn you that it's winner takes all. If I win, you’ll never be able to see or speak to Emily again," Lorenzo says, still living in a world where women are commodities.
Knowing Lorenzo will kill Emily first, I play along. "Okay. If I win, you’ll have to let me and Emily ride off into the sunset and forget you've ever known her name."
"It's a deal, but I should tell you that I have every intention of winning this match-up."
"We'll see. Where are we going to meet?" I ask, grabbing a pen out of my console.
"Meet me by the hole into the cemetery fence, and don't pretend like you don't know where it is. I have footage of you snoopin' around it."
"I have some errands to run so it'll take me several hours to make it there," I say.
"Don't worry. I'll know when you get there, and you better not bring anyone with you," Lorenzo says before hanging up.
Emily
The love I feel for Levi is still burning in my heart when I'm jerked awake. The contrast of the ringing phone echoing through the absolutely quiet room is startling and frightening. I glance around, searching for something that will tell me how long I've slept.
I catch sight of the wall clock and quickly calculate while I'm leaning over to get to the phone. I've been asleep for several hours.
Levi should’ve been here by now.
Worried about him, I snatch up the phone. "Hello," I say, and I don't even try to hide my apprehension.
It takes a second for the person on the other end of the line to say anything. Finally, I hear, "Em. It's me. I'm sorry, but I'm running late. I had... car problems," Levi says, and instantly, I know he's lying. I'm sure he has his reasons, and I'm equally sure he won't share them with me. Not if he's already decided to lie.
I'm disappointed. I hoped we’d one day be able to tell our grandkids that we never had a lie between us. Since I'm the one who started us down this path when I chose not to tell Levi about Lorenzo, I decide that I probably deserve his dishonesty. Even then, it's unsettling.
"You don't have to come by. I'm fine," I say, determined not to beg.
"I know that. I want to. You stay put. I have a few more errands to run, and I'll be there soon. Okay?" he asks, waiting for me to agree... waiting for me to say something.
I'm not sure what's going on with Levi, but his hesitation tells me it's serious. I need to see if I can coax it out of him.
"Can you talk to me while you're drivin'?" I ask.
He pauses for the briefest second. "Sure," he says, and I can almost see the sadness in his smile. "There are some things I've been meaning to ask you anyway."
"There's nothin' about me you don't already know or have access to if you want to go through Tope's stupid commune files. He's so detail oriented, I'm sure he has exhaustive files on every one of us. Hell. He probably knows more about me than I know about myself," I say, trying to lighten Levi's mood.
Again, Levi thinks about what I've just said, and he's as pragmatic as serious when he says, "You’re probably right, but he only knows what others tell him about you. I want my questions answered by you and not someone else."
He's so tender and earnest that I'm instantly more concerned for him.
I moan. "All right, Levi. You're the only person I'd do this for. Just know that I don't like talkin' about myself so this is gonna make me uncomfortable. If you can live with yourself knowin' that you're torturin' me, you can go for it."
He ignores my drama. "There was a game Tope and I used to play on long car rides. Periodically, I'd find out things about him that I didn't know, and sometimes they'd surprise me. You and I are going to play that game right now. I'll ask you a question, and I want you to tell me the first thing that pops into your head."
"This may not be so bad. What's the first thing you want to know?"
"What's your favorite color?"
"Royal purple."
Levi pauses, obviously thinking through my response. "That suits you. What's your favorite holiday?"
"My birthday."
"Why?" There's no pause this time. This response has sparked his curiosity.
"Is this how the game goes? Are you supposed to ask questions and make me think my answers are strange?"
"I, the game show host, can do anything I want. Now, tell me why your birthday is more special than Thanksgiving, Christmas, or Easter," he demands playfully.
"I don't know. Maybe it's because I don't have to share it with anyone and Tess always makes a really big deal about it."
"What day is your birthday?"
"June 19th."
"That's only a few weeks away."
I stop and think about it. "Yeah, it is."
"I'm going to have to get you something special for your birthday. It'll have to be something that no one'll suspect came from someone outside of the commune. Whatever it is, I want you to wear it every day, Em. I want you to think of me every single time you look at it because I always want you to remember how much I love you and how beautiful I think you are," he says with so much regret saturating his words that tears almost spring to my eyes.
"Levi, you're scaring me. Are you leavin' me?" I ask, the phlegm in my throat muffling my words.
Without an instant of hesitation, Levi says, "I'll never willingly leave you, Em. You need to know that."
That assurance does nothing to quiet my nerves.
"Tell me what's wrong. I can help." I beg.
"It's nothing, babe. Listen, I'll be there in about an hour. In the meantime, call Tope if you need anything."
I notice he doesn't say for me to call him or Tope. This time, he just says for me to call Tope if I need anything. This isn’t a good sign.
"Levi, you kn
ow I can't live without you, right? Don't you do anythin' that would hurt me like that."
"I know, Em. I'm only running a few errands before I get to the hospital. Close your eyes and rest, and I'll be there before you know it. I love you," he says before hanging up.
His words are half-hearted, but I decide not to call him on his lies over the phone. Instead, I make the conscious decision to lead by example and tell him what I know about Lorenzo the second he makes it to the hospital. I can't ask him to be truthful with me if I'm going to lie to him. Instead of working on my own plan to stop Lorenzo, I'll let Levi help me.
That's when it hits me.
I'm leaving the commune. Today.
I'll never go back there. I'll never be subjected to the degradation of the men or fear the threat of being raped by Lorenzo. If Levi doesn't want me to stay with him, even temporarily, I'll find someplace else to go. Maybe a church.
I could join the convent and become a nun.
Resigned, I pace the small room, waiting for Levi and mentally reciting all of the things I need to tell him. I walk and think. Think and walk. I twist and twirl my hair around my fingers, and every few minutes, I lift the blinds and nervously watch the parking lot for him. The fact that I have no idea what kind of car he drives doesn’t stop me.
The last time I peer out of my third-story room and study the parking lot, I notice a slick black Jeep speeding through the lot. It comes to a complete stop with a squeal of its tires and a jerk of the driver. Something about its urgency holds my attention.
From the Jeep jumps a woman with jet-black hair, ebony lipstick and nails, and raccoon eyes. The fuchsia pink bag she’s carrying is completely at odds with the whole Goth look—black T-shirt, miniskirt, leggings, and army boots—she has going on.
I don't look away from her until she’s out of sight. Then I go back to watching for Levi.
I nearly jump out of my skin when someone knocks on the door to my room. I spin toward it without saying a word. Even without the invite, the door flies open, and I come face to face with the woman I'd just been watching in the parking lot.
Instantly defensive, I say, "Can help you?"
Goth girl doesn't smile. She sneers. "Emily, Levi asked me to bring a few things by for you," she says, holding the big pink bag out to me.