by T. R. Graves
I stop my car in the middle of the drive and jump out. I'm so scared by what I'm seeing that I leave the door open and the keys inside. All I can do is watch the Jeep and hope and pray they pull Levi out alive. Of course, I'll be upset if he's bruised and banged, but if he's alive, I'll be able to tolerate anything else.
When they pull my limp and lifeless cousin from my Jeep, the world tilts... It becomes slightly off balanced, and I'm absolutely sure it will never right itself again. I lean over and catch myself by planting both my palms firmly on the hood of the Corvette.
I watch as they pull him from the Jeep, lay him out flat on the stretcher, and wheel him inside while someone straddles his hips and pumps on this chest. I raise my head to the heavens and it takes every ounce of restraint in my body not to scream the words rotating through my mind.
Jesus! He's dead!
Deep down in my heart, I've always known these words eventually would be uttered for Levi. I've seen his death in daydreams and nightmares more times than I care to admit. Thinking about Levi's death was hard, but it was nothing compared to seeing it play out before my eyes.
What I don't know is if my constant worrying about Levi and his safety drove him to danger rather than away from it or if God had been mentally preparing me my entire life for the moment when the person I love the most in the world would die.
I'm not sure who to be mad at. Myself or God. I only know I’m mad and someone somewhere is going to have to pay. Owen. Lorenzo. Phil. Anyone who had a hand in his death. Levi's death will be avenged.
That's when I see the one person who seems to be hurting every bit as much as me. She's crumbled to the ground, praying to God that Levi will live, and begging that same God to take her instead of him.
The world was mute until that moment. That's when I hear Baby yelling in my ear, "Owen's on his way here with Lorenzo. Get her back up to her room. I'll stay with Levi! Go!"
For no reason other than Baby told me to do so, I run toward Emily.
Emily
Suddenly, someone’s lifting me and carrying me. I've been praying so hard for Levi to come back to life that I look up, hoping my prayers have somehow been answered.
Tope. There's no containing my disappointment.
"Tope! I tried to save him. I tried so hard. Why wasn't it me? I'm so sorry. You didn't want him to be with me because you knew he’d be in danger. I should've listened. Send me back to Owen. I'll tell him what I did. He'll kill me. That can be your retaliation. I won't blame you. Dear God, somebody kill me! It hurts too bad. I can't take it!"
Tope never says a word. His jaw is clenched; his teeth are grinding; and tears are leaking from his eyes. His obvious pain only makes me feel worse.
He waves off a police officer, takes me into the emergency room, up in an elevator, and back to the room I'd been in earlier... the room Levi and I had made love in that morning... the room where Levi sent the engagement ring, the watch, and his journal... the room where I can't be right now.
I start kicking, flailing, and cursing everyone in sight like a wild banshee. As if I were having an out of body experience, I hear Tess trying to calm me. I watch Tope move back into the corner he'd been in the day Levi gave him a black eye. That was just yesterday. I feel the nurses all around me, holding me down and strapping me to the bed right before Sheila sinks a needle into my vein.
Like the night before, the spot where she injects the needle feels like I've been stung by a wasp. Seconds later, everything changes. I know Levi's dead, and I'm still upset. But, now, I can breathe. For the first time since I saw Levi's eyes, I suspect I may not die from the irreparable break in my heart.
I don't speak. I don't move. I only stare toward Tope and hope one day he'll forgive me for my hand in taking his cousin away from him. He watches me so intently he doesn't even blink. This goes on until the medicine invades my every cell, and I can't fight the drowsiness another second. My lids begin to bounce.
At first, they only stay closed for a few seconds at a time. Then, I don't have the strength to open them again. Finally, I fall into a disturbing and hallucinogenic dream world.
CHAPTER 19
Revenge Is Best Served Cold
Emily
I wake, remembering everything that's happened. I wish I'd been gifted with the pleasure of forgetting even if the absence of memories had only been for a few seconds.
It's then when it occurs to me that this pain... this remorse... this guilt is punishment befitting my crimes. I was desperate to get out and away from the commune. I was willing to risk anything and anyone for a chance at freedom. Levi's life was a casualty of my selfishness. If it weren't for me, he'd still be alive.
"Tope, don't pull out of this. If you do, they've won. Not only will they win, they'll grow stronger than ever. Worse than all of that is the fact that they'll keep killin' anyone who challenges them," Tess whispers to Tope.
Tope's pale. His eyes are bloodshot; he has black rings under his eyes; and his hair is disheveled. There's no denying the fact that he's every bit as grief-stricken as the man he is, the man who just lost his brother, his cousin, his best friend.
My chest squeezes, but I don't say anything. I stay quiet and listen to Tess and Tope.
"Tess, I'm not the person to bring Owen down. I'm not coldhearted enough to watch people die..."—Tope's voice cracks and my eyes tear, not from my own pain, but from the pain I know Tope is suffering—"...as a means to an end. No matter how important the goal."
"You're gonna let them get away with killin' your cousin. Well, I have news for you. He's not the first person, and he won't be the last. Owen killed my brother, and that girl in that bed saw it. She saw what happened to Levi. We need to get some evidence that can be used in conjunction with her eye witness testimony. If that happens, they'll all spend the rest of their days in jail where they should be. All you have to do is ask her. She'll do anything you ask of her. I know her. I know how guilty she feels."
"Tess, that's what I'm talking about. You're so bitter and you hate Owen so much that you're willing to sacrifice Emily in order to bring him down. How's what you're doing any better than what Owen does to protect the way of life he knows? I won't ask her to become a pawn in the battle between you and Owen no matter how selfless your goals."
"You and I both know Lorenzo killed Levi. Don't you want to see him buried under the jail for that. I'd do anything if he'd have died, but he didn't. Owen found him and brought him into this hospital to lie in the bed next to your dead cousin. He didn't die, Tope. Levi did."
"God dammit, Tess! Stop doing this to me. It's all I can do not to go into that commune and slash the throat of every man I come in contact with. The hate I feel has changed me. I'm trying to keep a tight grip on the tiny thread of humanity I still have. If you keep pushing me, I'm going to end up a man who’s no better than Owen." Tope closes his eyes and pumps his fists. "Please, just don't push me toward the monster growing inside of me, Tess. Not right now."
"Leave him the fuck alone, Tess. He doesn't want to become one of us, and I don't blame him," I say, trying to get up, only to be jerked back because of the restraints keeping me tied in the bed and lying flat. Apparently, there are some serious concerns that I might be of some harm to myself.
They are legitimate. If I had a gun in my hand right now, I'd put it to my temple and pull the trigger.
I know that as sure as I know my name, but I'll never say those words out loud. If I do, I'll never be released, and I'll never bring the men in the commune to justice for all they've taken from me.
Tess runs over to my bed. "Emily, sweetie, I'm glad to see you awake and not havin' those nightmares."
Tess brushes my hair away from my forehead and pushes my long bangs behind my ear. I squint my eyes in Tess's direction.
"That's just the thing, Tess. I'll have those nightmares the rest of my life. They'll never leave me. Marcus... Levi... Who's next? You... me... Tope? If you hadn't spent your life keeping your defiance secret and teac
hing others to do the same, you may have been able to make a real difference. You might have stopped all of this from happening."
Tess puts her hand to her cheek as if I've slapped her. In some ways, my words are more hurtful and more powerful than any beating she's ever had.
I ignore her. I don't have time to cater to her and her need to stay quiet, hidden, and underground.
"Tope, I'm goin' back in. While I'm there, I'm gonna get you everythin' you ever needed to bring them down. I swear to you on my life that I'll hand this case to you tied up with a bow. They won't be able to do anythin' but beg for a lighter sentence, which can never be negotiated if you want my help."
Tope stares at me like I'm crazy. I might be.
"I'm doin' this with or without you. I believe it would be easier for me if I had some help, but if you won't... can't... I'll understand," I say, almost breaking down but catching myself before I do.
After a long while, Tope nods. It's not a head bob that tells me he agrees with me or what I'm doing, but rather a nod that says he's not being given options.
"Perfect!" I say.
Here in this hospital bed with everyone around, I don't have the luxury of grief, mourning, or self-pity. I'm on a mission.
Lorenzo William Bijou.
Owen James Riddle.
Phillip Wesley Riddle.
Brian Marques Riddle.
Joseph Evan Riddle.
These men are on my short list to exact revenge upon. My revenge will be served up cold, and no one—not even Tess or Tope—will ever see it coming.
When I've done what I've sworn to do, and only then, I'll let myself grieve for all I lost when Levi was taken from me. He was my friend, my lover, and my fiancé. If he'd lived, he would have been my husband and the father of my children. My life partner.
In spite of my pledge not to cry, a single tear drips from the corner of both of my eyes.
Underground (Secrets, #2)
Coming Summer 2013
Betrayal and loss have changed Emily Riddle in ways she never thought possible. With a death wish guiding her every move, she's willing to compromise her morals, ethics, and instincts to bring the men who've broken her heart to justice... even if that means living a life underground, being someone she's not, and pretending to respect the very men she's positioning herself to take down.
As soon as she teams up with the district attorney, Tope Bryson, and agrees to be a member of his covert operation, she returns to the commune and convinces the patriarchal leaders she is the most qualified person to take on roles traditionally assigned to men. Desperate and without options, Owen, the commune's leader and Emily's father, agrees to a temporary change.
Emily takes full advantage of the opportunity and quickly proves to him, much to her brothers' dismay, that he can't live without having her in those critical roles and that she may be the best candidate for his next in command.
She and Tope quickly realize that the men of the commune consider a woman who threatens the good ol’ boy system that's been in place for decades public enemy number one. Determined to protect Emily from her brothers, Tope plants an undercover officer and charismatic law student, Noah Babineaux, in the commune. Neither Tope nor Emily is prepared for the attention Noah pays Emily.
With a nothing else matters attitude, Emily focuses on her underground mission and pushes her hate, anger, grief, and... blossoming feelings down until they threaten to explode from the inside and tear her apart. It's a race against the clock to get the evidence necessary—and ultimately the retaliation Emily craves—before a life of submissive brutality, or sibling jealousy, kills her.
Warriors of the Cross (Warrior, #1)
Allison La Crosse, beginning a challenging family medicine residency, leaves the protection of her family. With the transfer, her worst nightmares come true. Her closely guarded mystical talents—those which seldom appeared before the move—unleash themselves from her confinement and reveal their presence with very little provocation.
Allison’s most terrifying power is her compulsion to cure the dying with her touch. Given her career, this gift would be valuable if she were not drawn like a magnet to the ailing person's every symptom. Some of which are fatal.
At the hospital and surrounded by life-and-death emergencies, Allison’s inability to manage her impulse turns deadly. When it does, her mentor, Brody, rescues her from her own demise. His resuscitation ignites an exciting and tempestuous bond between them.
Desperate for a cure, they join forces and embark upon a journey to uncover the origins of Allison’s lethal curse. In the midst of their adventure, Allison exposes a secret pursued by many... known by few
Guardians of the Cross (Warrior, #2)
Allison La Crosse discovers she has several powers, including a spiritual gift to heal the dying with her touch. With the newfound awareness, she uncovers mind-boggling truths about a world which has been hidden her whole life, thanks to her mother’s selfless actions.
The most important revelation pertains to her ordained place within The Disciples of the Cross as one of their Warriors. This position moves her even closer to her mentor, Brody Kennedy, who ends up being the only other Warrior.
Just as suddenly, it catapults her into the middle of a war between The Sect and The Disciples. Allison’s appointment to Warrior—alongside Brody—exacerbates the leader of The Sect’s malicious hunt for her.
As a result, everything about her existence is altered. With the modification of her life, she prepares to do anything necessary to save everyone loved by her... including Brody and Clark.
Enemies of the Cross (Warrior, #3)
Allison La Crosse’s picture perfect world quickly becomes more of a nightmare than the fairy tale she expected when she married Brody.
With enemies leading and destiny in control, she embarks upon a journey of the soul where she unearths an underwater realm that is beyond believable... beyond fantastical... beyond comprehension.
Deep within this undiscovered world, Allison is forced to battle a new breed of adversaries, ones willing to do whatever necessary to capture her—dead or alive. While fighting for her life, she joins forces with an exceptional team of protectors. Because they are unconditionally loyal, she sees firsthand they are prepared to sacrifice their lives in order to guard her existence and defend the purity of their world.
Love, friendships, and unforgivable actions have Allison wondering if going home will ever be an option, even if home is the only place where she can have a life with Brody.
Dark Angels of the Cross (Warrior, #4)
Coming Summer/Fall 2013
In Dark Angels of the Cross (The Warrior Series #4), Allison La Crosse’s journey continues at full speed. With barely enough time to process her heartbreak, she learns danger has followed her from the Underwater Realm, and with it, she sees firsthand how potent the fury of a scorned woman can be. When Sheza orders Crux, the latest Dark Fallen Angel, to hunt and kill Allison, the fight for her life begins anew.
Making the adventure all the more interesting and dangerous, Allison learns that promises, pledges, blood bonds, and commitments made in the heat of the moment cannot be ignored or denied, no matter how much she would like to do just that.
Allison’s most recent Disciple, Hestia, is Crux’s soul mate. For her sake, Allison, Brody, Clark, Daryl, and Neptune join forces and journey into Hades Realm, a land comparable to Hell. It’s the only place where Crux’s soul can be rescued from the darkest angel of all.
Worth Dying For (Underwater, #1)
2013/2014
Isis, future Queen of the Coral City, lives a fairytale life and loves it all the way down to the last preordained detail. Others might resent a life so structured, but Isis thrives on knowing she was born to marry Set, bare his children, and spend her days reigning over the world she loves.
When the flaws deeply embedded within her enchanted world begin to surface and war threatens her kingdom, Isis realizes her dreams may never come true... t
hat there may not be a world to rule if her enemies have anything to say about it. Determined to fulfill her destiny, protect her family, and preserve her city's peaceful state, Isis petitions to become a frontline soldier in the Underwater War.
General Coeus—Set's twin brother and a man who hates everything Isis is fighting to protect—reluctantly agrees to train and prepare her for the battle. Early on, she wonders whether his training methods will kill her before she ever steps the first foot onto the battleground.
As war grows closer and the preparation sessions between Coeus and her become more intense, Isis's visions for her picture-perfect life turn upside down, and she begins doubting everything she has ever been told. With Coeus's declaration of undying love, she understands that a life filled with love and happiness—rather than friendship and duty—is the only one worth dying for.
Worth Dying For (Underwater, #1)
2013/2014
The brooding Coeus, twin brother to Set, hates the life he is forced to live. Making him even more rebellious is the fact that Apollo, his ruler and father, is intolerant of anyone who questions his antiquated customs... especially when that person is his very own son.
As the youngest twin, Coeus missed the honor of becoming the future ruler by seconds. He does not begrudge his brother's destiny. He does, however, resent the fact that Set's status as the oldest automatically makes him the man who will marry Isis, the most beautiful woman in the Coral City and the only woman Coeus has ever loved.
In defiance of his father and their Piscean traditions, Coeus refuses to marry his betrothed. Furious, Apollo sends him to the frontlines of the Underwater War. Coeus, who has a death wish, welcomes the chance to die for his kingdom because he knows death would at least be honorable.