Last Tiswas: John Peel, Beat, Specials, Bodysnatchers. Led Zep. Rainbow, Al Minter etc.
Lisa’s this afternoon. Got ace photocopy of our ‘Top 100 People’ off Paul. It is so big. And goodo. Lisa, Dave, me, Andy all went round Craig’s tonight. Did a few Smash Hits crosswords and Howkins nearly jumped out of the window. And we listened to records and I walked Lisa home. Romantic Interlude. Got 2 Pentels.
Monday, 14 April
Shit I’ve been spelling Liza’s name wrong for the last 11 days. Disgusting! Liza with a ‘Z’. OK? Seen Liza tonight. Went round Craig’s + Pete + Dave + Andy. Walked Liza home. Romantic Interlude. Saw Liza at school as well. No h/w. Saw Halls of Anger + Jeff Bridges. Blax + whites school movie. Ace. And Film 80 – Tom Horn, Empire Strikes Blecch, Starting Over etc.
Friday, 18 April
Andy 4 Liza. Seen Liza at school. Did self blood tests in biology. Jab. I’m blood group ‘O’. What an average-o kid. And tonight Mr Merrick took 15 of us to Solihull10 ice-skating, inc. me, Liza, Pete, Craig, Mick, Paul Smith etc. It was a really good larf even though me + Liza were not quite ace on skates. The ice got really wet later on. We went in the minibus. Also had chips at 9.45. Got back in the minibus (Romantic Interlude) at 11.35. Ace.
Wednesday, 30 April
I’m writing this at about 12.00 as I’ve just watched a tribute to Sir Alfred Hitchcock (RIP). He died yesterday. Ace film clips were on it. Woshed my hare. Went up Liza’s tonight. Shit this torch is running out. (I’m writing this under the bed covers by the way.) The Undertones are at no. 11 in the charts. Great. Liza 4 Andy.
Saturday, 3 May
Sports Report … Last day of season: Liverpool beat Aston Villa 4–1 (Cohen, Kennedy, Johnson × 2), clinching the League Championship. Man Utd lost to Leeds 2–0 (Hird [pen.] 76th min, Parlane 14th min) – Match Of Day. Ace. So Man Utd are 2nd, Ipswich 3rd. Watford beat Burnley 4–0 (four goals 1st half) and end up two from bottom three in Division 2. Bye bye to Bolton + Derby + somebody else from Div 1. And up come Leicester City from 2 to 1. Grimsby come back up into 2 from 3.
Aberdeen won the Scottish League. Celtic 2nd, St Mirren 3rd. Where were Rangers? Portsmouth beat Cobblers 2–0 here and so the fans left our peaceful little town alone as their win means they rise into Div 3. Liverpool still got one game in hand as well (Middlesboro’).
BBC1 Goal of the Season: (results next Sat.)
My choice:
(H) Justin Fashanu
(J) Terry McDermott
(K) Ray Kennedy
(You are a witness to the fact that I’m right.) Leeds (no order): Lukic, Hird, Stevenson, Flynn, Greenhoff, Madeley, Parlane, Cherry, Graham, Harris, Connor (sub). No more ‘bring me the head of Jimmy Adamson’.
Saturday, 10 May
AM went down town with Dave, Craig, Andy and Pete. Pete bought ‘Living on an Island’, Andy got some disco 12", Dave and Craig went clothes shopping, I got Smash Hits and got two LPs from the record library, At the Chelsea Nightclub by Members and The Biggest Prize in Sport by 999. That album is really good. 999 are ace. Pete agrees entirely. Me + Pete’ve ordered Separates by 999 from the libry.
This afternoon me and Pete went up Craig’s to watch the greatest Cockney rip-off ie. the 1980 FA Cup Final: Arsenal + West Ham. There was only one fucking goal. Devonshire through Pat Jennings’ big hands, shot by Cross, rebound, and goal by Brooking headed off Pearson’s shot. John Lyle was happy. 1–0.
Shit Celtic beat Rangers 1–0. Craig says that Jimmy Hill talks through his arse.
All of us (eg. moi, Liza, Pete, Craig, Dave, Andy, Howkins, Matt) went to the Colts Preservation Disco at Lodge Farm. Also there: Cindy, Fiona Brown, Liz H, Davenports etc.
Monday, 16 June
Well. Now, for me and Paul it’s ‘crap yourself time’. We’re going on telly live on Friday. On Look East, all about drawing, cartoons, caricatures etc. Dad, Paul’s Dad + us are driving to BBC Norwich on Friday midday. We’ve got to collect loads of drawings together. Live? Worry. Went Paul’s tonight.
Wednesday, 18 June
Worry, shit, crap, nervous, worry, worry. Got four photos of Look East team to caricature, to practise for Friday. Went Paul’s. Finished self-portrait. Had photos took (me and Paul) for Mercury & Herald and Chronic & Echo. Fun!? Worry! Nervous!
Friday, 20 June
No crap brick nervous worry any more. Paul and me got picture in Chronic advertising our Look East appearance. Got home from school at 10.30 and left Northampton at 12.15 in Dad’s car with Paul and Paul’s Dad. Arrived Norwich at 3.15 and went into BHS for a scone and Coke and into WHSmith’s to kill time. Went BBC East studios at 4.00 and met Ian Masters for a chat. Took loads of pictures into the actual recording place and we sort of talked Ian M through a few bits of our work eg. my self-portrait, Paul’s Clint picture, my Psicko front page, Paul’s Ben-Hur. Take 2 worked. Couldn’t use anything white. No white drawings or anything.
Watched our un-live bit at 4.45, and then drew our Tony Scase and Ian Masters caricature pictures up in the drinks room. Drinks, everyone offered us drinks. Spoke to and got autographs off: Ian Masters, Judi Lines, Tony Scase, Bob Bufton and Roger Maynard. It was really fun. Did our live bit at 6.10.
Burned home after burgerish dinner at 7.15. Got back 10.00. Me and Paul got back our Tony and Ian pictures (respectively). Mum and Mrs Garner said that the programme was OK. Gonna see the video of it at Craig’s tomorrow. We get paid you know! Fun!!!!
Friday, 27 June
999: ‘Eyes in the dark become flashing lamps.’
F = fun thing. UF = unfun thing.
F I had all the afternoon off school.
UF Because I had to go to the dentist’s.
UF I had three tooths out.
UF Gas pain!
F It didn’t take long and I didn’t puke or anything.
F I ate loads of food and did some more to my Poseidon spoof.
F Mum made a really fun flan! (eg. flan and real strawberries everywhere + jelly + cream.)
F I had three slices at various times.
F My teef (ex) have stopped bleeding.
F Jon Billingham,11 Dave, Craig and me went up the school to see their production of The Mikado.
F Matty and Liza were in it.
F Saw Cindy on the way home. She wants me to show people round on the English open evening with her. Fun.
F John (next-door) took five photos of me + Paul on TV. Ace prints. He’s given them to me.
F Got £8.00 appearance (BBC Look East) sent to me + £38 expenses for Dad. He’s giving me £15 and Paul £5. FU-UN.
Saturday, 28 June
Money money acting funny anything you gotta do.12
Whole total = £8 + £38 = £46
Whole money for me = £8 + £15 = £23
Money for Paul = £5
Money left for Dad = £46 – (£5 + £23)
= 46 – 28
= £18
Money still left for me to spend
= £23 – (£10 to put in bank + £3.69 999 LP)
= £23 – £13.69
= £9.31, which is equivalent to: two singles, a bottle of ink, Mad.
Tuesday, 15 July
Me and Matty went on the Science Museum trip. It was a good laugh. We went in the Natural History Museum as well. We saw the insects, whale, human biology etc. We both fell asleep on the way back. Fun salad tea. Shower and …
3rd + 4th Year Activity Day Disco in school hall. Went: moi, Craig, Pete, Matt, Dave, Howks, Andy Bonner, Liza, Jo, Cindy, Fiona, Liz H, Spratty, Andy Manton, Jenny, Monroe, Tanya, DD, loads of 3rd year girls. It was fun but there was only one slow record. Mehhhh! as C McK would say. Some exceptional music played: Dead Kennedys, Chords, Police, ‘Jump to the Beat’, Jam, Joy Division.
Saturday, 9 August HOLS
Came to Jersey … Left our house at 7.05 indy morning. We burned off in the car (only three pee stops) for four hours to Weymouth. A port. We drove onto the Seasink ferry (Sealink then, sorry) called the Earl Godwin for some weirdo re
ason and we had a ‘first time on a ferry for four fifths of us’ – only one throwing up (Dad) – loads of packed-up food – wandering around – nice weather 70% – four hour journey to Guernsey (spellt wrong). We ran into a thick fog bank at 5.00 and had annoying, Melissa-worrying, two-minute-interval foghorn blasts. That’s when Dad released some crisps and grapes from his bowels13 onto ‘B’ deck.
Waited for passenger unloading/loading at Geurnsey (spelt rong) half hour, and the Earl Godwin burned off to Jersey (one and a half hours). Did you know I got sunburnt just lazing on ‘C’ deck in the wind and sun for half hour. God. Who needs nice weather and holidays if you tan in the Channel?
Arrived at Jerz 8.45-ish. Really ace hotel eg. the Merton – first floor, massive dining lounge, late meal on arrival salad/coffee, gigantico swimming pool (residents only – us), ace bar, supa-clean. Love it. Si, Liss and me got our own room (or ‘rum’ as Pete S would say). Goodo beds.
FACT: I will spend and send (postcards) all f’night.
FACT: Dad smelt of puke all day and had to change.
FACT: Paul is not smelling of puke or on a ferry (I think).
God, there was a nice girl on the ferry. (From Parklands no less.)
Sunday, 10 August
The food is goodo in this un-slummish hotel eg. menus:
Brekky = fruit juice, corn flakes, bacon, egg, tea.
Luncheon = Scotch (Craig) broth, veal salad, apple turnover, coff.
Dinner = egg mimosa, tom soup, roast chick, lem sorbet, cheese, biscs, coff.14
Fun food. Dad had a shower. Good. Walked and sat upon Gorey beach. Gorey? What an uncool name for a beach. Went in the ‘residentz only’ pool s’afternoon. It’s big. Massif 15ft diving board (unused by moi), 15ft deep end, 5ft, 3ft, 2ft, slide, deckchairs (not in the pool), pretty warm etc. I got super-red tanned. What a burn. Christ I am burnt. God the itch.
Sat down in the bar after a town-walk tonight for a couple of hours and three beers. Some grannies ballroom danced. There was this really Morris-man-dancing weirdo trying to disco tonight. I want to punch him.
Wednesday, 13 August
Gave my film into the hotel developing service. Be ready by tomoro morn. Fun food: f juice, corn f, boiled eggz, tea. Minestrone, plaice, Bakewell tart. Mushroom soup, Florida cocktail, grilled ham, vanilla slice + cassata denise, c+b, coff.
AM town. Fort Regent – massif sports/leisure etc. complex thing sort of. Became holiday members eg. little photos of us to put on membershit cards. They came out really badly. Dad was looking up; Liss had Dad’s belly in her ear; Si had a curtain on his head; I was leaning over, no expression; Mum just stared into space. Fine …
PM hot. Sat around swimming pool all aftnoon. Tonight: watched Joey Kaye Laughter Show cabaret in ballroom, then watched OAPs dancing. When four fiths of our family disappeared I went down to sit with a load of other kids (five nice girls) from 11.00 till midnight. Disco tomoro.
Saturday, 16 August
Went to a second-hand bookshop and dug out three paperbacks: Alien (16p), Marathon Man (16p), Day of the Locust (10p). Funshop. Food: f juice, c flakes, toast, tea. St Germain soup, ham salad, Madeira sponge + apricot sauce. Soup de jardinier (gardener soup), roast veal + sauté pots, mandarin flan, coff. Really nice food.
Leeds lost to Aston Villa 2–1 (Terry Connors) at home. ‘Adamson out.’
AM town and pool.
PM Corbiere Lighthouse walk. It was pretty shitty considering wot it was sposed to be. Just walking. It was hot tho’. Then sat by the pool till dinner.
Si + me sat with the remainders of yesterday’s lot. Four ninths (but the best two ninths) + Keith + Lorraine. It was just ballrooming etc. I bought three drinks. My God, one wasn’t even for me. It was for Paula. Born 14th March 1966. Castlefield, High Wycombe, Bucks.15
Monday, 18 August
Average day. Went St Ouens PM. Pool AM. Nice wevva. Menus: (see last Monday except for:)
2. Mock turtle soup, cod, blackb tart.
Why are you so worried about what I eat anyway? Went town smorning. My camera wot I dropped in a bloody rock pool Saturday is completely dead according to the Boots expert. They’ll have a go at developing the film that’s in it but I bought another camera (+ flash + film), same as ex-camera which Dad will pay for with insurance claim dough. Good business this insurance game int it?
Also bought Breaking Glass Hazel O’Connor album (£3.00) Boots. Can’t play it but I can look at the cover till 23rd.
Paula and Jackie went out again so moi + Si sat with Lisa and her bloody mate (her Dad bought us two ciders each) who disappeared at 11.00. Danced with two new girls, Karen and a fat one. Not as nice as Paula.
Thursday 21 August
Went Fort Reject (Regent – sorry). Played mini-golf and generally wasted money in amusement arcade. Godknowshowmuch. Went to discover Portelet Bay, some Frenchsoundingbloodyname beach and St Ouens (Owens, Oooens, O.N.s, Wons, Oo-ons, Ouens?) It was nothot. Bit windy but dry.
Menus: see last Thurs except:
2. Celery soup, steak chasseur, steam jam sponge.
Tonight, disco, brilliant music. Danced two slow ones with Lisa. Sat + danced with: Lisa, Deb, Liss, Paula, Jackie, Ashley, Tony in general. ‘Went out with’ Paula from 1.00am–1.34am.
Stayed up (too) bloody late. Had one and a half pts cider, one pt lager (and a packet of crisps please). Got hot and nackered and 1.00–1.34 was the best bit of the holiday.
Saturday, 23 August
Had an early breakfast eg. tea and toast. Set off from the Merton 7.00. Sealink (Caledonian Princess) left St Helier harber (spellt write) 8.00. Ship didn’t hit icebergs or blow up or even turn over. Pity, I might’ve met Gene Hackman. Met the Welsh couple + kidz who came over to Jerz with us, Mr and Mrs Thomas, would you believe?
Ate all the way home till 4.00. Piled into the car and didn’t get lost at Newbury and stopped at a Wimpy. God I love Wimpys. Home at 9.00-ish for more food. Chips and fish cake from chip shop. Got three Film Reviews among the pile of ‘should have been cancelled’ Chronics + bills + school report and Pete n Craig postcards etc.
From that ace hol I’ve gained:
A very experienced food palate, a liking for fish, a H O’Connor LP, Diana Ross single, tan, 8 paperbax, some Dad sick on my Harrington, 64 photos, two Smash Hits, Paula’s address, two sugar lumps, a new camera, 14 diary filled pages.
And lost:
About £14. My virginity.
Friday, 29 August
Dad took me and Pete round somebody-who-put-an-advert-in-Chron’s house. It was Steve Morris and he sold me (£30) snare drum (Hayman skin) on Premier stand, tom tom (Prem skin), cymbal + Prem stand and two stix. I love it. But the neighbours probably don’t. I like drums.
I am a filmgoer. Might go to film – Amityville – if I can grow six inches tonight. Strain.
Friday, 5 September
Shit, I can’t go to Wembley. Shit, I can’t get any good shoes. Shit, I can’t get any new jeans. Shit, I’ve only got a quid spare cash. Shit, Mum n Dad keep going on at me. Shit.
Monday, 8 September
Ha ha Jimmy Adamson has resigned from Leeds. Ha ha. We don’t care, you big-headed pillock with massif ears! Who will bring Leeds back to supreme power? Bremner, Clarke, Hackman, Lorimer, Hoffman or Charlton (Jack not Heston, Paul).
Bet Gene has never heard of Leeds United Football Club.
Wednesday, 1 October
Went to Farm16 disco 7.30–10.45 with Craig and Andy. Pete didn’t turn up. Lots of fun people there: Dawn and Lisa and Kate and Karen and John and Dick and Mick and Mick and Leigh and Andy M. and Tanya and Carly and Zoe, Tracy and Julie and Jo and Terry has had a Jam spike and Neil and a friend of Mick’s and Louise and Cindy and Jane and Toyah and etc. Music was fun. Diana George Jam Whispers etc. there was some ace light-type lights, strobe, flashings, smoke bombs … smoke bombs? Yes. Danced and sweated for 58% (approx) of night and my hair was dripping down my cap-sleeve neck. I left before the end in order to not get garroted by Dad
after arriving 11.30 yestday. Everyone (approx) wore baggy trousers eg. Carly a good example. My God! Home at 10.55. No beheading by Dad. I am liquid at the moment. You could drown a hamster with the sweat in my baseball boots. Tired.
Saturday, 4 October
Dave and Paul and Neil came down smorning and Dave bought four singles, one of whom I borrowed eg. ‘Rock And Roll’ by Human League. I’m into it man. I wanna side part my hair and wear thin black ties and button-down collar black shirts and black baggies.17
Wednesday, 29 October
The following things are wrong with me:
I eat too much junk food.
I haven’t done Dad’s office a Xmas card yet.
I have only seen eight Gene films.
I sometimes get spots on my legs.
My teeth are crooked.
I want to go out with a girl from another county.
I laughed at a prison officer on BBC with Paul.18
I can only swim 100 metres.
I played terrible at squash on Tuesday.
I was late for Pressure.19
I missed Covenant With Death (Geno) yonx ago.
I don’t eat enough vegetables.
I am not going out with anyone.
I have forgotten Paula’s phone number.
I pick faults with myself.
Thursday, 20 November
Dad’s birthday. I got him a Mayfair. Good present. Mmmmmmmmm. I have just tasted something as nice as the tastes of malt bread, yogurt, ginger beer, Drifters, dry roasted peanuts all mixed together ie. one of Dad’s sherry liqueurs. Mmmm. I scored in hockey and a ball hit me on the head. Hockey is ace.
Saturday, 22 November
So! It was Kristin who transplanted a square inch of JR with a square inch of lead. Kristin, JR’s sister-in-law, is now JR’s sister-in-Strangeways. Thanx, Chronicle, for letting the secret out at 6pm. Mates. Haha, if you thort it was Sue Ellen.
Monday, 24 November
Why does everyone keep dying on me this year? Alf Hitch, Stevie, Mae West, Hattie Jacques, lead singer of Ruts, L.S. of Joy Division, George Raft, Peter Sellers, Yootha Joyce etc. Saw Film 80. Barry Normal hates The Island and Awakening.
Where Did It All Go Right? Page 29