by A. W. Exley
Would events have played out differently if my natural father had lived? I struggled to remember him. I was young when he died. He winked at me, like the lieutenant had done, and at nap time he called me his Sleepy Rory. That was our secret. My middle name was Aurora, and only my father called me that.
I didn't notice the tears rolling down my cheek until one fell on my hand. Picking up the corner of my apron, I wiped my face and then pinched my cheeks to return some colour. Tea made, I placed the pot on the tray and backed out through the kitchen door into the hall.
Muffled voices came from behind the closed study door. I set the tray on the ground so I had a free hand to knock. Then I bent to pick up afternoon tea. As I rose, the door was opened by the smiling Lieutenant Bain.
Did he always smile? It had none of the artifice or insincere smirking that I was accustomed to, and it made me curious how he sustained such a good mood.
"I'll take that, miss." His larger hands slid over mine and relieved me of the weight.
"Thank you," I muttered and took a small step back. I rubbed my hands; his warm touch left an odd impression on my skin. "Do you have him talking?"
He shook his head. "It's a bit of a monologue from me, I'm afraid. But I am confident of progress as I nudge Mr Mason to answer my questions. Softly softly catchee monkey, my mother used to say. Anyhoo, I'll bring the tea tray back when we're finished."
I was dismissed, unwanted. Again. To be expected of course, as the lieutenant had some directive from the duke. Only an idiot would think the conversation would include her. I glanced at the clock on the wall. Time to think about supper. I had a nice piece of tripe that, according to the Almanac, needed a long, slow cooking time in milk.
An hour later the pungent aroma of tripe and onions filled the kitchen. The recipe said the concoction needed to simmer for a further two hours before the tripe would be soft enough to eat. To air the kitchen, I used a lump of firewood to prop the backdoor open while I tried to decide if I was warming to the smell, or if I needed to rush out and be sick amongst the geraniums.
What I needed was a distraction. I flicked through the cookbooks, trying to decide what to attempt tomorrow. Lately my culinary efforts had been more edible than disastrous, and spurred by the marvellous shortbread victory, a sliver of hope took root in my chest. Perhaps I might not be as useless in the kitchen as my mother always loudly proclaimed me to be. Would the world stop turning if I discovered I was adequate at something?
A rattle preceded the hall door opening, and the lieutenant carried the tray through and set it on the worn, scarred pine table. He drew a deep breath and his nostrils flared as he inhaled. That warm chocolate gaze turned to me. "Tripe and onions?"
I placed the marker in the book. "Yes. The butcher offered me a piece this morning. I don't think anyone else wanted it."
"There's nothing wrong with simple fare, always been one of my favourite meals. Would you like me to help with the washing up?" He picked up two empty cups and placed them next to the sink.
An officer in the kitchen doing the dishes? Mother would have fainted at the very idea. A gentleman shouldn't even be able to find the kitchen, let alone set foot in one. "Gosh. No. I'm sure you have important work to do at Serenity House."
His broad smile reached all the way to his eyes and crinkled the corners. "Nothing that can't wait when there is a pretty lady I can assist."
Why did he have to go and say that? There I was thinking he was handsome and smart. Everyone knew I was plain at best. Either his eyesight was defective or he wasn't smart at all. Oh well, at least the dishes would get done.
I hid my disappointment behind a shy smile. The company would be welcome, even if he did it out of a sense of obligation. "A hand would be much appreciated. Thank you."
4
Ella
Discoveries to be made
* * *
The War Office detained Seth in London, and I busied myself reading a background paper on Aleister Crowley. I think it said something about our foe that I preferred to read about the Satanist over the long dead witch. I had tried to immerse myself in Millicent's diaries, but reading her words made a reptilian shiver slither down my spine. Perhaps my battle with Elizabeth was too recent, or maybe it was my childish imagination at work, but I suspected Millicent might reach through the pages of the book and pull me into her world.
I struggled through one of her diaries, but even the heady coffee couldn't keep me focused on her words. I tossed the book back on the pile and retreated. Once Seth returned we could regroup and tackle her together.
In late afternoon the study doors opened, and I looked up as the duke strode into his domain.
"Seth!" I tossed the papers and ran to his open arms. Bain was on a mission to the manse, so we were alone in the study for once.
Tired lines pulled at his eyes, but his grey gaze burned as his hand stroked my face. "Miss me?" he murmured.
Before I could reply, he claimed my mouth in a leisurely kiss. The quietly assertive streak in Seth made me weak at the knees. Alice thought him boring and organised, but she didn't see the hidden depths. I had spent so many years taking charge and being responsible, and Seth allowed me to let that all go and to simply be.
"Is Louise safely deposited?" I asked once he released me.
His arms stayed wrapped around my waist, and I enjoyed the moment of closeness.
"Yes. I don't envy them, though; she is not impressed with her accommodation and is rather vocal about it. I had to stay and debrief the top brass on the hive we destroyed and Elizabeth's new knights. We need to spread the word, in case other countries are up against intelligent Turned." His hand made lazy circles on the small of my back.
The contact reminded me of other, more private things I wanted to cross off my to-do list. But how to broach the subject? My fingers curled around the edge of his jacket and I held on to the fabric for support. "If I asked, would you visit me at the farm?"
"Of course." He frowned. "But I often see you there."
"No. Not with the others." Gosh. How to say the words? I couldn't meet his gaze and instead stared at a button and traced the intricate pattern on the silver surface with a fingertip. "Privately. At night. In my room."
He placed a finger under my chin and raised my face. The heat in his gaze intensified. "Are you propositioning me?"
Blast. I had made a fist of things. Colour crept up my neck. I had talked it through with Alice, and she thought a direct approach was the best, rather than waiting for the moment to arrive. Did he think me terribly forward and loose?
"Oh, Ella. I didn't mean to tease. It's a serious thing you ask, and I want to be sure it is what you want." He stroked my cheek, his gaze turned solemn as he searched mine for assurance.
"Yes," I whispered. "Yes, it is what I want. But I want the first time to be at home." The farm house was my anchor, my refuge in this tumultuous world. Serenity House still seemed too big and grand for such an intimate step in our relationship. And I took a teeny amount of perverse pleasure in inviting the duke to the bed that Louise once slept in.
He kissed me again. A soft whisper of lips and tongue that left me wanting more. The fire inside me could no longer be ignored.
"When?" he breathed against my skin.
We lived in an uncertain world and I didn't want to put off anything until tomorrow, for what if tomorrow never arrived? I supposed it wouldn't do to look at my watch and suggest now. Not when it was still daylight outside; I assumed such matters were always done under cover of dark. "Tonight, if you are free. After the others have gone to bed."
A smile lit his face and mischief crept into his eyes. "Shall I climb up to your window, or will you sneak down stairs and open a door?"
"I think you should climb up to my room. After all, Henry used to climb the tower to be with Hazel, and my room isn't anywhere near that high." The idea appealed to me and made my blood bubble with excitement.
"Well, then, whatever shall we do until dark?" he
took my hand and kissed my knuckles.
I blew out a sigh. There was so much to do and so much data we needed to collect and understand. "The office workers have spread the word to the other counties for information about the original pandemic survivors. Lieutenant Bain has gone to see Reverend Mason for the names he holds. I also asked the lieutenant to find out as much as he can about Aleister Crowley."
Seth nodded his head as I ran through items on his mental list. "What of the catacombs?"
"Still waiting for us to explore, but I thought satisfying my curiosity was a low priority. Bain reports that the soldiers have cleared out the remaining Turned and they also patrol the countryside looking for any escaped smoke and the source of the river." Not that they had found anything. The hidden cavern was too far underground for even the smallest tendril of smoke to be visible above.
"The War Office have only found one other hive so far, in Dorset occupying old smuggling tunnels by the coast. They suspect time will reveal more. We need to find a larger scale way of stopping them." Seth rubbed his chin and looked at the map of Somerset.
We still didn't even understand the nature of the enemy we faced. The Great War was easier. The other side were people just like us with their own families to protect. In the Grim War we fought an undead, mindless enemy. Elizabeth was our first glimpse of what drove them. If we could discern their objective, it would make them easier to defeat.
I needed to be brave and confront whatever fear kept me from doing what needed to be done. I smiled at the man who held my heart. "Warrens has ferreted out the history of Serenity House. Would you care to join me in the library to delve into the world of Millicent deMage and the original wing of the house?"
He crooked his arm and offered it to me. "Certainly, Miss Jeffrey. I am rather curious to dive into Millicent's world and ascertain why, exactly, Elizabeth needed the blood of the duke."
There was another thing I needed to do, that I wanted to discuss with Seth. "I'm going to fire Alice as a house maid and want to help her forge a new career. How do I set her on the path to a political future?"
We walked down the hallway to the library and Seth made a hmphf noise as he considered my problem. "Alice hasn't picked an easy path. The Suffragettes have initiated change, but there is a long way to go before women have true equality in governance."
"It's something she is passionate about and having been in service, I think she is realistic about the options available to women. That's why she wants to try and change things." I smiled. My friend might be tilting at windmills or she could be the future leader women in England could rally behind. Who knew what she could achieve?
Seth arched an eyebrow but kept silence about her chances of succeeding. "Well, for starters she needs an understanding of government and how laws are passed. Clerking for a local member would be ideal, I can ask the old chaps I know. One of them will snap up the chance for a pretty face with a keen mind to shoulder some of their responsibilities."
Could Alice step from house maid to clerk? As much as my heart wanted to scream yes, she could do whatever she wanted, we were missing a step. The closest I had seen Alice get to a typewriter was wiping the feather duster over one. And at home papers weren't filed; she used them to start the fire.
"I think she needs to learn a few skills before we throw her in the deep end like that. Would it be a terrible imposition to ask if we could find a spot for her here, in the office?" I lacked Alice's skill at wheedling; I probably needed to bat my eyelashes or something. "I can vouch for her, and she will work hard to learn whatever she needs to know."
Seth laid his hand over mine. "Stop worrying. Of course we can find Alice a desk in the office. That's a brilliant place for her to learn basic secretarial skills."
I kissed his cheek, not daring to go near his lips. It would be hard enough as it was to last until later that night. At least Millicent would be a dash of ice water over my ardour.
We walked into the silent library with its double height rows of books. Father would love this room and the knowledge it contained. My gaze caressed books with the gilt lettering before sweeping down to the desk by the window, when a groan left my throat. Warrens had covered the entire desk in dusty volumes.
"Apparently Millicent was quite a prodigious diary writer." Seth picked up one book and flicked the first few pages open. "Might I suggest we try to arrange these in date order and start at the beginning?"
The afternoon dragged as we sorted Millicent's diaries and we each took a volume to read. The light was fading outside when I looked up and decided I had had enough of her complaints about the house staff and not receiving her due at court.
"I'm going to head home," I said as I placed the book back on the pile.
Seth rose and took my hands. "I'll see you later this evening."
He kissed my cheek, as though neither of us dared breathe over the embers burning inside us.
"Until tonight," I whispered and then left.
At home I ate a quiet meal in the kitchen with the others. Then I pled a headache and climbed the stairs to my room. I undressed and contemplated what to wear for the pivotal event. I decided on nothing and slid a peached coloured silk robe over my naked skin. Time stretched before me, and I hoped I didn't fall asleep before Seth arrived. To distract myself, I dabbed a touch of scent at my wrists and behind my ears. Then I brushed my short hair, turned back the bed and plumped the pillows.
My pulse raced faster in my veins. The blood thrummed in my ears as I pondered the step I was about to take. I loved Seth, and this was the natural expression of that love. Yet society wouldn't look on my actions like that should they become known. I would become a fallen woman. A disgrace to my family. Strange that other people could sit in judgement on how I chose to show my love.
The clink caught my attention but the much louder smack made me rush to the window before he broke the glass. I opened the window and looked down. There he was, caught in the act of scooping up more stones off the driveway. A giggle broke free from me. This was so silly and clandestine and naughty. And I loved every second of it.
On seeing me, Seth dropped the stones, removed his fedora and dropped a low bow. "Is my lady seeing visitors this evening?" he called out.
I placed a finger to my lips and hushed him. "Don't go waking the whole house. I'm not sure about visitors in general, but I will admit one person in particular."
He placed the hat back on his head and walked to the base of the wall. He looked up, surveying the old vine that clambered all over the south face before he tested a branch and started his ascent. For years I had used the vine to escape at night, usually on some adventure with Henry. Now that Seth climbed up, I chewed my lip. A young girl weighed a lot less than a grown man. Just my luck he would fall and my romantic evening would come to a screaming halt as the entire house rushed out to tend an injured duke.
He also seemed to be taking his time, searching for a handhold before moving up a few more inches. As he neared, he was muttering under his breath.
"Problem?" I asked.
He looked up, his expression unreadable in the dark. "I suspect Frank has far more experience climbing into bedrooms at night than I do. This isn't as easy as it looks, you know."
At last he reached the ledge, and I stood back as he climbed over and then shut the window behind him. He took his time looking around at his surroundings. They seemed sparse, now that we had cleared away all trace of Louise. What few trinkets and mementos I had of happier days, and especially of my mother, were tucked away in drawers.
I kept one lantern burning by the bed, casting the rest of the room in a soft yellow glow. Once he was there, standing in my room, nerves threatened to overcome me. A shiver ran over up my arms and down my spine. I had confronted and defeated Elizabeth's jabberwocky made of vermin, but a man in my room might make me swoon.
Seth took one step toward me. Close enough he could reach out and stroke my hair. He tucked a wild strand behind my ear. "Are you sure you want
to take this step? I will wait as long as you need, it doesn't have to be tonight."
Oh, I was sure, but at the same time, I needed a few more seconds. "What if I changed my mind and decided to wait until I was married?"
A brief frown flitted over his brow. "Many women wait until their wedding night. If that was what you wanted to do, then I would wait."
"What if I decided I wasn't getting married until I was forty?" I was teasing now. I doubted I could wait another twenty minutes, let alone twenty years.
This time the frown settled. "I would hope we could negotiate an earlier time frame. Hold on, does this mean you are reconsidering my proposal?"
I couldn't imagine a future without Seth, but I just couldn't see myself as the Duchess of Leithfield. Not for the first time I wished there were middle ground. When he told Elizabeth he wasn't the real heir, I had been relieved and thought there might be a way forward for us. Then I learned it was only a white lie to distract her.
I closed the space between us and draped my arms over his shoulders. "You are the only man for me. I'm just not ready for marriage and all the responsibility of being a duchess."
He seemed mollified. "So long as you aren't stringing me along waiting for a better offer."
"Prince Edward is not yet married—do you think I should hold out for him?" I whispered but I couldn't stop the wide grin on my face.
"Certainly not. No man could love you more than I do." He placed a kiss on my neck and a delicious shiver ran over my skin.
"I do seem to recollect that you made a promise of an explosive night and a performance so spectacular I would be rendered speechless." I had no idea what any of that might involve, but tonight I planned on finding out.
He rolled his eyes to the ceiling. "No pressure then?"
"You did promise." I sucked in my lower lip and he emitted a soft groan. Funny how such a small action could provoke a large response in a man.