*****
Three hours later, after a couple more episodes of crying and complaining from the kids, Brianna came home.
“Where have you been?” The tone in Katelyn’s voice couldn’t disguise her impatience and frustration. Her younger sister led a carefree life compared to hers.
“None of your business,” Brianna bit back and went to the stove to see what the dirty pans may hold. She gave up on finding food in them and then opened the refrigerator. She took out a packaged meal bar and began to eat it, kicking off her shoes in the direction of a pile of footwear by the door.
“Those are mom’s,” Katelyn shot at her.
“So,” Brianna said through another bite. “There’s nothing else to eat.”
Jacob was still crying from his crib in her mom’s room. Kayla heard Brianna’s voice and had come from the TV to try get some attention. “Brianna,” she greeted her with excitement and relief pouring from her voice.
Brianna over exaggerated her greeting to the young girl. She gave her a big hug, and Kayla ate it up with smiles and laughter. “What’s the matter?” Brianna said, looking up to Katelyn in accusation, “Has Auntie Kate'n been mean?”
Kayla nodded, giving Katelyn her own glare of injustice. “Will you play with me?”
Brianna stuffed the rest of the diet bar into her mouth. “Sure, baby. Auntie Brianna loves you.”
Katelyn turned away and sat down at the computer while Brianna dramatically made a show of caring for the girl. Katelyn flipped through her web page once again, but no new postings had been made. Tim hadn’t responded to any of her text messages either. She didn’t know what was going on. Rather than being worried something bad may have happened, Katelyn was now overrun with feelings of rejection.
The phone rang and she got up to answer, but Brianna beat her to the receiver.
“Dad,” Brianna shouted after she answered. Katelyn stood behind her for a few moments, expecting her to turn over the phone to her. “Yeah. Okay. Yeah, only one more day of school. Yeah, that’d be great. Can we stay in a hotel.” Katelyn listened to her sister’s side of the conversation and filled in the questions and promises her dad was making on the other end of the line. She turned into the kitchen and started cleaning up the counter, trying to make Brianna believe she didn’t care if she got to talk to him.
“No, she’s still at work. Really?” Now she laughed her fake little laugh, “No, I wouldn’t do that. I’ve been playing with Kayla,” she lied. “No, she’s been on the computer, but she’s still grounded.” Here she turned around to shoot Katelyn a snide glance. Katelyn caught the look, but turned away and ignored it. “Okay, yeah, I love you too.
“Dad wants to talk to you,” Brianna said in a snotty tone contrasting the pleasant little girl tone she had just been using.
Katelyn grabbed the phone from her sister and whispered, “You are such a little bitch.”
“Better than being a big one,” Brianna shot back at her, and walked away.
“Hello,” Katelyn said without much patience. She really wanted to talk to her dad. She missed him. Even though he and her mother would fight when he was around, he always had a way of making the house feel right. He always had big stories to tell. Without him, the days were just about the kids, full of Brianna drama, or, when her mom was around, kind of tense because he wasn’t.
“Hey, Kate. How ya doing?” His voice was cheerful. Despite the horrible night she was having, it made her feel suddenly calmer.
“Hi, Dad. Okay,” she responded. “How’s Utah?”
She listened to the few stories he offered about the job and weather, trying to picture her dad filling his nights playing cards or watching the brilliant sunsets he was describing. He asked her about school and her final exams, stating once again how important they were.
“I think I passed English, Dad.” And she really felt like she did. She’d check tomorrow to see if grades were posted. “I got an A on a poem.”
“You did? That doesn’t surprise me. Nope, not at all. You’re a smart girl, Kate. You can do anything you put your mind to.” She heard the words, but also dismissed them. It was what a dad was supposed to say. After a few more topics, she could hear his attention drifting.
“Dad, we’re out of formula. I had to put Jacob to bed without a bottle tonight,” Katelyn hated to sound like she was nagging.
“Well, have your mom get some on the way home. Just give her a call,” he said as if the solution was too simple for him to be bothered with it.
Katelyn didn’t want to call her mom about it in case it was what she suspected—that she was out of money. “Are you going to talk to her tonight?”
His voice took on an air of impatience. “Listen, that’s why I’m calling right now. It’s an hour earlier here, and there’s a side job we’re going to go do tonight. I won’t be able to call your mom. You tell her for me, Kate, alright?”
After a moment, Katelyn sighed, “Yeah, okay.”
He seemed to pick up on her disappointment. “Look, I’m making good money out here. I get paid tomorrow, so there’ll be plenty for groceries and formula and whatever you want. Heck, you go pick out a great birthday present, you hear, ‘cause you deserve it.”
Katelyn couldn’t get her voice to match his enthusiasm. “Yeah, okay.” She’d been letting her birthday not take as much importance as it had in younger years. Her dad had promised her another horse for her fifteenth birthday. She didn’t want to press it because of the hard year he was having.
“I gotta go, Kate.”
“Okay,” she said hesitantly through the phone. She pictured him holding up a hand to someone else gesturing that he’d only be a minute. “Love you,” she said more as a hope that he’d say it back.
He didn’t fail her. “I love you too, Kate. I’ll talk to you later.” The phone went dead. She hit the end button on the phone and let her surroundings sink back in. The TV still played Kayla’s movie. She no longer heard the giggles and laughing from Kayla, but rather a whine about how Brianna wasn’t playing fair. Jacob’s crying had stopped. She pulled out her own phone and activated the screen. Still no calls. She put the kitchen phone back into its charger and looked at the mess of pans and dishes. Screw it, she thought, and shut herself in her room.
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