*****
Katelyn crept back into the house as quietly as she could. It was later than her midnight summer curfew, but she was hoping her birthday gave her some extra privilege. Leaving Tim’s house had been difficult. They had his whole basement to themselves, but spent the evening in his room, together, inseparable. He had walked her home through the trail and left her at the end of the street. The absence of his touch, his hand meshed with hers, or his arm around her waist, left a longing ache in her.
“It’s late, Katelyn.” Katelyn came around the edge of the cabinets into the kitchen to see her mom in her customary seat at the table, cigarette burning a swirling column of smoke toward the air. So much for a quiet homecoming, she thought. Instead she smiled at her mom and headed toward her.
“Sorry, me and Em kinda got caught up in a game and then her brother and his friend challenged us in bowling,” she lied. Instead of meeting any scrutinizing look her mom was giving her, she looked down. By the time she sat, Katelyn moved into a new topic.
“Thanks for the pizza party, Mom, and for letting Tim come. I think everyone had a great time. I even saw Jenny laugh!”
Her mom took a drag off the cigarette and agreed. “Yeah, it was a good day.” And then she grew more solemn. “I’m glad you liked it. Was it a good birthday?”
Her eyes drifted down in reflection. The past 24 hours had been some of the best in her life. Katelyn couldn’t think of anything else in her life that could compete with how good she felt today. She took on her own reflective tone. “Yeah, one of the best.”
Katelyn looked up to meet her mom’s eyes and found her studying her. Katelyn grew uncomfortable, suddenly worried that she had some visible change that her mom could read as the loss of virginity.
“You really like Tim. Don’t you?” she asked. Damn, thought Katelyn, her mom had some special power or something to pick up on her thoughts. But, she didn’t want to hide her feelings or be ashamed. How could her love for Tim be bad when it felt so great?
“Yeah, Mom.” She met her mom’s intent eyes with her own confidence. “I think I love him.”
Her mom didn’t flinch, didn’t shake her head, and didn’t launch into a lecture about young love and foolishness. She held her gaze, finished her cigarette, and leaned back in her chair. “He seems like a nice boy. He’s funny. And, he’s crazy about you. That’s for sure.”
Katelyn blushed and didn’t have anything to say, so she just nodded in agreement. She couldn’t help smile at the confirmation her mom had given her—someone else noticing that Tim was into her.
“Kate,” her mom stopped short. Katelyn looked at her, hearing a change in her tone. “If you two are going to have sex—“
“Mommmm,” Katelyn moaned as if the idea was nonsense, but she had to look away.
“Kate,” her mom insisted, “I’m not messing around. I have two daughters who’ve given me grandchildren before they reached the age of 18. I’ve got two of those grandkids down the hall there.” Katelyn wasn’t smiling anymore. Her mom didn’t talk much to her about her sisters. “If I can help it, I’ll do everything in my power to avoid the same for you. I don’t care if it makes you uncomfortable.”
Katelyn looked at the table, but nodded, accepting the talk as confidence in her rather than motherly interference. In her younger years, Katelyn thought her life would be totally different than her sisters, that she wouldn’t make the same mistakes. But, she just had. She and Tim hadn’t used any protection. She suddenly felt slightly ashamed, like she hadn’t been true to herself.
“If you two are going to have sex, I want you to use protection. You just say the word and I’ll take you to get on the pill. Or, they have shots now, too, that you only have to get once and awhile.”
“I know, Mom,” Katelyn murmured.
“Yeah? You know?” Her mom was turning slightly impatient in tone.
Katelyn interjected before she misinterpreted, “I have friends at school, Mom, and they, you know, are on it.”
It was quiet for a moment. Then, in her direct fashion, her mom asked, “Should you be on it?”
Katelyn considered lying, but she was scared of her mom. And, she needed to admit the answer to herself, too. “Yeah,” it came out softly, and she couldn’t help disguising her recent sexual activity. “Yeah, just in case, Mom. You’re right. I should be careful.”
Katelyn looked up at her mom. Just for a moment, before her mom looked away, she thought she saw her eyes watering.
“We’ll go to the clinic this week, before work one day. Jenny’s going to start coming over in the day to watch the kids, so you and I can go. It’ll be good for her to be alone with them anyway. Jen needs to get back in mother mode with them if they’re going back with her.” Katelyn got up from the table, taking the change in topic as a chance to distance herself from that of her sexuality.
Her mom looked back at her. “I think she’s cleaned up her act, unless there’s anything you know about.” It wasn’t a question, but her mom tried to catch her off guard. Since Katelyn hadn’t been over to Jenny’s in two weeks, she felt honest in her answer.
“Nope,” Katelyn said, and pushed in her chair. “I don’t know what she’s been up to.” She started to head around the table to go to her room, but stopped as she reached the side where her mom sat. She reached out her hand to touch her mom, but decided to make it a full hug. “Thanks, Mom, for everything.”
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