*****
“Looks like you’re getting out of here,” her morning nurse came into the room with her chart and began turning off machines and taking off tubes. “I just need some last readings and the doctor will clear you.” The nurse had Katelyn’s arm in a blood pressure wrap before Katelyn could fully register what she was doing. The pain medicine had finally kicked in. The doctor didn’t want her on any the previous night since she was being watched for a concussion. All she wanted to do after her mom took her to the emergency room in Ames was to sleep. The nurses didn’t let her until after they took all their x-rays.
After she made it away from Tim’s house, she found her phone in her jacket pocket, but it was in two pieces. It must have taken one of Tim’s kicks. Katelyn had kept walking, aware that she was stumbling and was bleeding from her arm and somewhere on her head. At the end of the next street, an older man was pulling into his driveway ahead of her. He had wanted to call an ambulance and the police, but Katelyn convinced him she just needed to call her mom.
After x-rays and stitches, two police officers walked into the partitioned emergency room area where she waited for the next medical decision. Her mom had called the cops. Two of them came over from Northrup to take the report. She recognized one cop from her dad’s arrest. Katelyn gave them the details, surprising herself with how mechanically she answered their questions and described the beating.
“Do you have reason to believe Tim is taking drugs?” one asked.
Katelyn stared beyond them. “Ya,” she muttered, “Yes.”
“What is he on, Katelyn? We need to know what we’re sending police into when we pick him up.”
Katelyn glanced at her mom, who had been in and out of her room all evening. “Maybe X. He does a lot of pot, too.” She lifted a hand to find a fingernail to chew on, but the movement set off a pain in her rib cage. “Maybe, um,” she hesitated.
“Katelyn, he put you in the hospital. He needs to be stopped. He needs help.” The officer’s voice was more authoritative than kind, but it unlocked the rest of her secret.
“Last week I think I saw track marks on his arm, but he usually smokes ice. Shooting is for hard cores. He had only done that once. And,” she remembered Mona, “he might be snorting crank now.” Katelyn finished softly and could feel her mom’s anger without looking at her. Katelyn kept her eyes low.
The officers asked her a series of other questions about contacts and sources. Katelyn told them what she could about Mona, the apartment, Travis, and Christian’s connections. She didn’t talk about her dad. She could tell the cops assumed a connection, but they didn’t ask.
Finally, after the cops left, an orderly transferred her to a hospital room for overnight observation. Katelyn managed to get some sleep in between vital checks.
“So, here are the instructions on changing bandages for your stitches on your arm. The stitches on the back of your head are fewer in number. No shampooing for a few days so the tape doesn’t wash away.” The nurse continued to hand her mom papers while she directed her comments at Katelyn. “The bruised pelvic and cracked rib are going to be quite sore. Limit movement and take the prescription pain medicine as needed. You need a waiver for school or PE?” Katelyn worked the words through her mind slowly, but her mom nodded.
“She’s on spring break but will be back in school next week.”
“Well, just ask the doctor.”
The nurse paused for a moment and changed tone slightly. “Katelyn, there’s a special nurse who’s going to come talk to you shortly. Ms. Wells, it might be best if she could speak to her alone.” It was almost a question, but still another instruction. Her mom nodded. The nurse continued, “Alrighty, doctor should be around soon and we’ll wheel you out. It was a short stay, Katelyn, and that’s a good thing. Good luck to you.”
After 15 minutes of not saying anything to each other, her mom got up and grabbed her purse. “Be right back.” Katelyn knew she was going outside to smoke.
Katelyn wanted her bedroom, but at the same time, didn’t want to go home. Somehow, this place was a safe base, like in the hide-and-seek game, where no one could tag someone out. Here, Katelyn didn’t have to think of what happened with Tim or with her dad. She didn’t have to worry about anyone. Her next movements were decided for her by people with charts and a plan to follow.
The door opened while it was being knocked. A short petite woman walked in with what was either the same chart all the people walked in with or a new one. The woman also carried a thick folder. She was dressed in a darker blue uniform than the other nurses who Katelyn had seen in the past 24 hours. “Katelyn Wells? Hi, Katelyn. My name is Peggy. I’m a resident counselor here at Greeley.”
“Hi,” Katelyn simply said, even though it looked like the woman was going to go on whether she responded or not.
“In cases like yours—it seems you’ve had some violence against you?”
Katelyn stared at the woman. What did she say her name was? Katelyn gave up, assuming she would not really need to know in the long run.
“Well, in cases like yours, we want you to leave here knowing your options. You didn’t report any sexual abuse. Is there anything you’d like to tell me?” The woman paused and looked at Katelyn expectantly, her chin stuck forward. “What you tell me is completely confidential.”
Katelyn blushed at the question. Now that she thought about it, the last time she and Tim had sex was over two weeks ago. “No, nothing like that,” she said softly.
“Well, you’ve been through a lot and have options if you want help sorting out your feelings.”
The woman went on to bring out several brochures and point out hotline numbers as the main highlight of each. Katelyn couldn’t bring herself to focus on any of them. Whatever pain medicine they had given her was way more powerful than the Vicodin Angel usually gave her. Finally, the woman in blue finished, but reached out to hold on to Katelyn’s arm.
“Katelyn, it’s important that you know this wasn’t your fault.” Katelyn wondered how many times the woman had to give her practiced speech each day.
Katelyn pulled her arm out from under the nurse's hand. How many girls end up on the floor getting beat by the one they love? If it’s not my fault, whose fault is it? How can it be just Tim’s fault? I should have seen this coming. I am the only one he listens to.
"You don't understand. No offense, but look at you." Katelyn did her own survey of this woman--straight laced, comfy shoes, no makeup, probably a church-goer with a newer car that starts every time. "You don't know my life, people like me. You probably love someone normal, someone without a real problem."
Blue Woman didn't flinch, her gaze never left Katelyn's face. Katelyn couldn't keep eye contact. "You think we're different. We are. But one thing we both have in common is the right to keep ourselves safe." Blue Woman took a moment for dramatic pause. "Love is a very powerful thing to learn. What does it look like, feel like, and act like? Loving someone is a gift, Katelyn. No one's asking you to stop. But what you got back wasn't love."
Tears built up in Katelyn's eyes and she turned away from the nurse.
"Love shouldn't hurt you, Katelyn. If it does, it's time to love yourself enough to leave."
Katelyn gave the blue nurse the understanding nod she needed in order for her to leave. It was enough.
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