Acceptance

by Grace R. Duncan

  “I can see that,” Miles acknowledged. “That doesn’t mean I won’t make their lives hell if anything happens to you—whether I’ve claimed you or not.”

  “Well… I guess I can’t blame you for that. But… for now, let’s just… uh… try to avoid a war?”

  Miles chuckled. “Yeah, I guess. For now.”

  “Good. So….” Quincy mentally flailed for a safer topic. “Do you have any time to read for fun?”

  QUINCY HIT the spacebar to pause the video and turned to Miles. “So… that was my very first anime.”

  Miles smiled. “I like it. I never had much chance to watch any, but that was mostly because I was too busy studying, then working. If I did anything for fun, it was reading a few minutes here and there where I could squeeze it in.”

  “I can see that. I was actually really busy in art school. They’re pretty intense. Not doctor-intense, but….”

  Miles nodded. “No, we’re not the only ones who do a lot in college.” He laughed. “So this one, is it a long series?”

  Quincy considered that. “Not as long as some. This story is broken up into two different series. The first was… something like a hundred and thirty episodes, then it got canceled. They picked it up later to finish the story line. They’d stopped before the characters had managed to recover all the shards of the Shikon jewel.”

  “Well, uh, that’s kind of dumb.”

  Quincy laughed. “Most of the viewers thought so too. Probably why they finished it.” Quincy rested his head on Miles’s shoulder. They’d spent a good hour just talking about themselves, getting to know each other. They’d talked fiction and music, and he’d discovered that, while they liked different things, they would still mesh pretty well there. His preference ran toward J-pop and K-pop, anime themes, and the like. Apparently Miles was all about dubstep, industrial, and heavy beats. While they weren’t the same, there was enough crossover to keep them from killing each other. At least it hadn’t been country.

  They’d eventually gotten around to television and movies, and he’d confessed his love of all things Japan, including his love of anime. Quincy hadn’t said anything, but it’d made him really happy when Miles had kicked his shoes off, settled on the bed, and suggested they watch something together after Quincy admitted to having a fairly decent collection on his laptop. Now he sat with one of Miles’s arms around him, wishing, for the first time in his life, he didn’t have to go back to being alone.

  “There are a number of other series I like. A couple aren’t done yet, though I usually prefer to wait until it’s done to watch.”

  “I can see that. I don’t have a lot of time to dedicate to a weekly thing.” Miles pushed the table back, turned to Quincy, and tilted his face up. He kept the kiss slow and soft, though Quincy couldn’t miss the arousal it sparked. “I like being free to do that,” Miles whispered when they broke apart.

  “I like it too. So, tell me, do you always trust your wolves with a mate? Knowing they’re the right one for you?”

  Miles pursed his lips. “Yeah. Well, it’s not just that. It’s Diana too, you know? Our patron goddess,” he added when Quincy’s confusion must have shown.

  “Oh, that’s right. You follow the Roman pantheon.”

  Miles nodded. “Yeah. You know, I suspect they’re all the same gods, just… different forms for the different civilizations.”

  Quincy nodded. “Yeah. I’d bet you’re right.” He shrugged. “Not that we’ll ever know. It wouldn’t surprise me, though.”

  “No, not unless Diana/Artemis/Bastet drops down in front of us to admit it.”

  Quincy laughed. “And somehow I doubt we’ll see that.”

  “Yeah, not likely.” Miles grinned, wrapping his arm tighter around Quincy. “But yeah, we trust our wolves. I don’t know of a single destined couple that didn’t end up almost ridiculously in love and happy.”

  Quincy let that roll around in his head for a moment. “My cat says it’s right. That you are. He wants you… even your dog.” He chuckled when Miles snorted. “Besides, I somehow don’t think Bastet would do that… put you with me if you’re not right for me.”

  “I’m glad to hear it. And I’m a wolf, not a dog. Jaguars may be cats, but wolves aren’t dogs.” Miles scowled, but there was still a twinkle in his eyes.

  Quincy grinned. “Yeah, yeah. That’s why you chase mailmen and chew on slippers.”

  Miles rolled his eyes. “Right. Hey, are you hungry? That steak was a while ago.”

  “I could probably eat.” Quincy frowned. “But is anything open this late?”

  Miles nodded. “The cafeteria is open all but a few hours, I think.” He kissed Quincy’s forehead. “Let me go see what I can find for you.”

  “Okay. Get food for yourself too. I haven’t seen you eat yet either.”

  Miles blushed, making Quincy grin. “Uh, yeah, okay.”

  “I’m betting you forget to eat a lot. Probably live on break-room coffee until your wolf threatens to burst free.”

  The blush got darker, and Quincy chuckled, making Miles scowl, though there was no heat in it. “Yeah, yeah. Laugh.” His lips twitched. “It’s true, though. I’ll get food too.” He climbed out of the bed and pulled his shoes on, then turned and kissed Quincy again. “I didn’t think to ask if there’s anything you don’t like.”

  “I’m not one for overly sweet things.” He chuckled. “No laughing…. I like fish quite a bit.”

  Miles nodded, obviously fighting to keep from smiling. “I won’t laugh. I’ll see what they have.” With one more kiss, he left.

  Quincy sighed into the quiet room, tired in a way that had nothing to do with his recovery. His life had taken such a ridiculously crazy turn. Everything he was used to had been turned upside down. He’d put together a nice, reasonably quiet life, doing what made him happy. Even if he’d never expected a mate and he’d fought it—and he would have, he was adult enough to admit that—he would have accepted Miles eventually. Now he had too much of a struggle in other places to fight against having a mate, against Miles. The rest of this, though… he needed to get this done with.

  He glanced at the clock. It was too late to call that night yet, but he’d be on the phone with his father soon. This couldn’t keep going. He wanted to spend his energy learning more about Miles and working out a life with his mate, not fighting his father and, by extension, the entire jaguar pride.

  AFTER SPENDING the night in Miles’s arms—nonsexually, thanks in no small part to their location—Quincy was even more determined to get to the bottom of everything and get it done with.

  He’d awakened at some point in the middle of the night when the nurse—not Sara, who’d apparently gone home—came in to take his vitals and clucked over finding Miles in bed with him. He’d held a finger up to his lips, then whispered to her that Miles rarely slept as it was. She’d shaken her head but was smiling when she left.

  Quincy had spent a good deal of time after that lying awake, thinking about destiny and mates, thinking about Bastet and the other gods, some of which his kind had stopped paying attention to. Like Hathor, who was, among other things, the goddess of love and quite likely also partially responsible for mates. Many jaguars tended to focus on Bastet, and Quincy suspected that was why they didn’t believe much in mates anymore. If they don’t worship a goddess of love, why should they believe in it?

  But Quincy had never thought that quite right. While he wasn’t about to follow every Egyptian god—there were way too many for that—there were quite a few he did, and Hathor was one of them. Even though he’d always thought he’d be alone, he had believed in love. And now… now he had a mate. Could he love Miles?

  Quincy considered the sleeping man in his arms, sighed softly, and brushed his lips over Miles’s forehead. If he trusted his gods, if he trusted his cat—and he did—he knew he’d been given Miles. Maybe the way his heart thudded when Miles looked at him was something Hathor or Bastet did. Maybe his cat prompted it. Or maybe, in the two m
onths they’d known each other, he’d learned enough to know he loved Miles for himself. Quincy didn’t really care. It was there, the want to be with Miles, the ache at the thought of leaving, and he didn’t have the luxury of denying it, not with everything else trying to keep them apart. Whether that was the intention or not, it was a huge, annoying side effect, and Quincy wanted the whole situation out of the way.

  To that end he also couldn’t hide in the hospital anymore. He didn’t want to leave Miles, but he wasn’t sure he could protect Miles by himself, and he also couldn’t end this from a hospital room.

  He watched Miles sleep, smiling a little at how young Miles looked in that moment. The worry lines that had been around his eyes and mouth had smoothed out. The slight scowl he had every time he talked about what was going on was gone. Just fiery red hair and almost ridiculously pale smooth skin sprinkled liberally with adorable freckles. He had sharp cheekbones and lips Quincy could not let himself think too much about or the morning wood he was already sporting would only get worse.

  But when Miles shifted in the bed and tugged Quincy a little closer, his arousal got worse anyway. Because Miles was just as hard. Quincy stifled a groan as their cocks brushed, thankfully through several layers of fabric. He might just go off like a teenager if they’d been naked against each other. It’d been a long time since he’d done anything sexually with another person.

  He couldn’t resist burying his face in Miles’s neck, though, and inhaling deeply. Miles’s scent drove him—and his cat—crazy. This man was theirs, and his cat was pushing him to bite and claim. Mate.

  His cock jumped at the thought, precum beading, making a mess on the inside of his hospital gown. He didn’t—couldn’t—care, though. It just felt too fucking good to have Miles there, against him, in his arms. Especially since he had no idea when he would again.

  He slid his hand up into Miles’s hair, kissing the soft skin at the base of Miles’s neck. He rubbed his face over Miles’s skin, then chest, unable to resist doing so.

  Miles gave a quiet chuckle. “Are you scent-marking me?”

  Quincy’s cheeks heated a little, but he couldn’t lie to his mate. “Can’t help it. My cat wants to claim you, but we can’t, not yet. I can’t seem to keep him from wanting to mark you as ours in some way, though.”

  “I didn’t say I minded. I rather like the fact that you want to.” He pulled back and nuzzled Quincy’s nose and cheek, then kissed along his jaw. “I want to make love to you so badly right now,” he whispered.

  Quincy would swear to every deity in every pantheon he knew that the sound he let out was not a whimper. He did not whimper. He did, however, rock, grinding his cock into Miles’s and earning himself a low moan.

  Miles caught his lips in a kiss, both of them opening immediately, tongues touching, then sliding, heat exploding between them. Miles cupped Quincy’s ass, pulling them even tighter together. Quincy rocked with him as he poured every bit of want for Miles he had into the kiss. Miles’s hand flexed on Quincy’s ass, and Quincy let loose his own quiet groan, which Miles swallowed with their kiss.

  It was Miles who pulled back, though not far. “If I don’t stop now,” he growled, his wolf obviously close to the surface, “I won’t be able to stop myself from making love to you.”

  Quincy panted hard, trying to remember why that was a bad idea. He closed his eyes and rested his forehead on Miles’s chest, working to find some kind of calm. “Gods, I want you,” he muttered, still doing his damnedest to take in oxygen, let it out, and do it again.

  “Want you too, baby. But we can’t. If we make love now, our animals will drive us crazy when you leave.”

  Eyes still closed, Quincy nodded against Miles’s chest. “Yeah. I get it.”

  “I don’t like it either,” Miles murmured, kissing the top of Quincy’s head.

  They lay in silence for several long minutes. Somewhere along the way, Quincy managed to get control of his body and finally let out a long breath. “I’m going to take care of this. I….” He cleared his throat and took another breath. “I don’t want to be apart any longer than we need to be.”

  Miles didn’t answer for a few seconds, and Quincy started to wonder if he’d read things wrong. Then Miles whispered, “Thank Diana.” He took another breath before speaking again. “I’m so glad to hear that, Quincy. Gods, so glad.”

  OF COURSE, it took forever for Miles to get him discharged. There were final checks of his vitals and the removal of the IV, among other things. Plus he’d had to give Miles his room key for the hotel so Miles could go get him clothes, as his were probably still lying in tatters in the alley Dee, Dumb, and Dumber had attacked him in. That had taken time, but Miles had returned in fairly short order because Quincy had, maybe stupidly, been staying right there in Oakland. He dressed in a pair of cut-off sweats, since he still had braces on his legs, and an anime T-shirt.

  Miles got the discharge paperwork, then pushed him in a wheelchair to the elevator and down to the first floor. Then he found an unused room where he took the braces off Quincy’s legs, and Quincy could put his jeans and shoes on. Finally he could get out. They stood outside the hospital entrance by the valet parking, leaning against the wall.

  “We could do this together, Quince.”

  Quincy shook his head. “It’s better if they don’t know about you, at least not yet. I have no idea what my father might do if he knew we were mates. He doesn’t believe in destined mates, but if he knows I do….”

  Miles frowned but nodded. “I get it. I just… I can’t help but think we’d be better off together.”

  “I wish that were true, Miles. I really do. I… gods, I want to be with you, okay?”

  Miles’s Adam’s apple bobbed, but he nodded.

  “I do.” Quincy sighed and pulled until Miles was close. He liked that they were almost the exact same height—Miles had maybe an inch or two in height on him, but that was it.

  Quincy tilted his head and brought their lips together, cupping Miles’s face. Miles moaned softly and pulled him in until they were against each other. Quincy couldn’t resist that—he seemed to have exactly zero willpower when it came to physical affection with Miles—and he deepened the kiss, pushing his fingers into Miles’s hair.

  But only a moment later, Miles broke away. “Come home with me. My apartment is barely a mile from here. We could be there in no time. We’ll figure this out.”

  Quincy struggled to breathe and eventually managed a few deep breaths, though that was a bad idea with the exhaust around them.

  He forced himself to ignore the stench and shook his head. “Not yet. I can’t even promise soon, but I will work on this. Okay?”

  “You’ll contact me? Keep me informed?”

  “Absolutely.” Quincy closed his eyes, his heart thudding at the thought of leaving Miles. “I know it’s fast, I know it’s crazy, but I… I care about you a lot, Miles. I won’t let this be the end.”

  Miles nodded, rubbing his hands up and down Quincy’s back, then leaned in. “I’m pretty sure I already love you. It’s okay; you don’t have to say it. We don’t know all that much yet.”

  Quincy looked up at him. “You trust your wolf, though. I trust my cat. He says you’re ours. He thinks I should trust in our bond, in us. And if I do, if I believe you are a gift from Bastet and Hathor, then you deserve my full honesty.” He took a breath and blew it out, but what he’d realized over the time lying in bed with Miles still felt true. “I love you too. We’re mates. Destined. I don’t think that’s out of the question at all.”

  Miles’s smile was so wide, Quincy wondered how he wasn’t lighting up the entire hospital with it. He yanked hard, pulling Quincy closer again and kissing him.

  When they broke apart, he cupped Quincy’s face. “Be careful, please. I don’t want to lose you.”

  Quincy nodded. “I will, Miles. I promise.” He took a breath, kissed his mate one more time, then stepped back. “I’ll call.”

  Miles nodded. “I’
ll wait for it. I love you.”

  “Love you,” Quincy said, voice barely a breath as he backed away. He had to fight his cat, who was trying to get him back to their mate, but he was stronger than his beast. It took everything he had in him to turn around and walk to the corner. When he turned, looking back, Miles still stood there, watching him. He waved, Miles waved back, and Quincy started down the hill.

  If it was a little fast, no one could blame him.

  Chapter 4

  MILES TOSSED his shoes into the trunk of his little Honda and shut the lid. His key went into the magnetic box he kept for it, and then he took a deep breath and let it out. He always loved the pack lands, loved the fresh mountain air, the smell of the pine, fir, and spruce that reminded him of back before life got complicated.

  Almost the same scent had surrounded him from an early age. The specific types of pine, fir, and spruce were different in eastern Washington, but the scents were similar enough. He remembered running through them as a pup, rolling in leaves and grass, and playing with the other pups in his pack.

  He shook his thoughts away and focused instead on his wolf. He needed to let go of complicated thought for a while. After Quincy had called to let Miles know he was okay and suggested perhaps he let his wolf out, Miles had realized his mate had a point. It’d been way too long since he’d shifted outside the full moon. And even if it didn’t mean he’d chew his slippers or something, he needed to let his wolf out a bit more.

  With one more deep breath, he let go of the hold on his wolf, giving him control. As always, he loved the shift, as natural as breathing to them, and in seconds he was appreciating the world from a whole different point of view.

  He shook hard as he settled into his fur, then lifted his muzzle and sniffed. He caught the scent of hare, and not letting himself think about it, he took off. It gave a merry chase, and Miles was reminded again how long it’d been since he’d been out there. He’d even spent a couple of full moons locked in his apartment, rather than out on pack lands, because he’d been working so much. He poured the speed on and finally managed to catch it. His wolf relished the chase and savored the kill.