“Tabling the proposal sounds like an excellent idea. Forgive me if I’ve been inattentive,” she said in her most businesslike voice, “but I seem to be troubled with a headache this morning.”
“No problem, Katherine,” Lloyd Johnson, the first vice president of Grand National, said kindly. “Your headache may well have given us a few more days’ time, which is something we could all use just now.”
Katie smiled her appreciation. “Thanks, Lloyd.”
The men shifted papers back inside their briefcases. Soon the meeting room was empty save for Roger and Katie.
She knew she owed him an explanation, but she could barely find the courage to face him after her lie from the night before. She’d said she wasn’t feeling well then and had him drive her home so she could sneak back to the hotel and rendezvous with Jase. It was an ugly, despicable thing to do to a man who genuinely cared for her.
“You’re still not feeling well, are you?” Roger asked gently.
“I’m doing slightly better this morning.” Another lie. She was worse, much worse.
“Tonight’s our dinner engagement with the Andersons,” he reminded Katie, eyeing her hopefully.
Katie groaned inwardly. She’d forgotten all about the dinner date which had been set weeks earlier. Had she arrived at her usual time this morning, she would have seen it on her appointment calendar. Instead she’d rushed into the office, barely in time to make the meeting.
The Andersons were longtime friends of Roger’s. The couple was in town to celebrate their wedding anniversary and had invited Roger and Katie along for what promised to be a fun-filled evening on the town. They were going back to the Italian restaurant where they’d met fifteen years earlier. Fresh from graduate school, Roger had been with Larry that night as well.
Katie suspected Roger wanted to show her that he wasn’t as much of a stuffed shirt as it seemed. With his friends he could let down his hair, as if that was what it took to convince her to marry him.
“You’ll feel better later, won’t you?” His eyes were almost boyish in his eagerness.
She couldn’t refuse him, not after the callous way she’d dumped him the night before. The irony of the situation didn’t escape her. She hadn’t been eager to join him for drinks at the St. Regis. Roger knew she didn’t indulge often, but he’d insisted they had reason to celebrate. They’d worked hard on this deal with Grand National Bank and would be meeting with the first vice president. It was a small coup and so Katie had given in.
She’d never thought of herself as a weak person. After her marriage was annulled she’d promised herself that she wouldn’t allow anyone to control her life ever again. Yet here she was, trapped in a relationship with a man her father considered perfect for her. A man who constantly pestered her to marry him.
Marry.
By this time tomorrow Jase would be married. In her mind’s eye she pictured him standing in a crowded church exchanging vows with a beautiful, sophisticated woman.
“You seem a million miles away.” Roger waved his hand in front of her face, dragging her back into the present, which, unfortunately, was as painful as her dreams.
“I’m sorry.”
“About tonight?”
She owed Roger this even if she did feel like staying at home, burying her face in a bowl of chocolate ice cream. But she couldn’t do that to Roger, and it would do her no good to sit home and cry in her soup. Or in her case, ice cream. What was done was done. Jase would marry his “sweetheart” and they’d both get on with their lives.
With time and effort they’d put the one small slip in their integrity behind them. Pretend it didn’t happen. That was the solution, she realized. Denial. For the first time since she raced out of the St. Regis, Katie felt comforted. Everything was going to work out. She’d forget about him and he’d forget about her.
They’d gotten along perfectly well without one another this long. The rest of their lives wouldn’t matter.
Now if she could only make herself believe that.
Standing outside the jetway at San Francisco International, Jason waited for his older brother and his wife, Lisa, to step from the plane and into the terminal. If ever there was a time Jason needed his brother’s counsel it was now.
The minute he spied Steve and Lisa, his heart lightened. He stepped forward, hugged his sister-in-law, and impulsively did the same with his brother, squeezing tightly.
“That’s quite a welcome,” Steve said, slapping him across the back. “You ready for the big day, little brother?”
“Nope.”
Steve laughed, not understanding this was no laughing matter. Jason felt about as far from being ready as a man could.
“I need to talk to you as soon as you’re settled in at the hotel.” His eyes held his brother’s, hoping to convey the extent of his distress.
“Sure.”
Jason led the way toward the baggage claim area.
Lisa eyed him skeptically. “Is everything all right?”
He longed to blurt out the whole story right then and there, but he couldn’t.
“Jason?” Steve pressed. “What’s wrong?”
He exhaled sharply. “I’ll fill you in later. Come up to my room as soon as you’re settled, all right?”
Steve nodded. “Something tells me you’ve gotten yourself into another fine mess.”
Jason couldn’t wait to see his brother’s expression when Steve learned this “fine mess” involved Katie Kern. Three years his elder, Steve had played a significant role in advising Jason when he’d lost Katie the first time. The two had talked long and hard in the days and weeks following his and Katie’s elopement. Frankly, Jason didn’t know what would have happened if it hadn’t been for his brother.
It seemed to take an eternity for Steve and Lisa to get checked in at the hotel. Jason returned to his own suite, but he couldn’t sit still. He paced and snacked on a jar of peanuts out of the goodie bar that cost more than anybody had a right to charge. And waited, impatiently, for his brother.
By the time Steve arrived, Jason had worn a pattern into the plush carpet.
“All right, tell me what’s got you so worked up,” Steve said and helped himself to a handful of peanuts.
“Where’s Lisa?” Jason half expected his sister-in-law to show. A woman’s perspective on this might help.
“Shopping. It’s only three hours until the rehearsal and she didn’t know if she’d have time to hunt down those all-important souvenirs after the wedding. Mom’s visiting Uncle Philip and he’s driving her to the wedding tomorrow,” he added unnecessarily.
Jason sat down across from his brother and rammed his hand though his hair. “I saw Katie Kern.”
“Who? Katie?” Jason recognized the instant his brother made the connection. Steve’s face tightened. “When? Where?”
“Last night. Here. The crazy part was she was sitting in the cocktail lounge downstairs having a drink with some old fart.”
Steve watched him closely. “Did you talk to her?”
“You might say that,” he muttered, rubbing the back side of his neck. “The fact is we did a whole lot more than talk.”
“How much more?” Steve asked cautiously.
“We…ah, spent the night together.”
Steve vaulted to his feet. “Oh, God.”
“My sentiments exactly,” Jason muttered. “I couldn’t help it, Steve. Damn it all, I love her. I always have.”
“But you’re marrying Elaine.”
“Maybe not.” This wasn’t exactly news to Jason. He’d wrestled with his conscience all day. The guilt was eating giant holes straight through his middle. He regretted cheating on Elaine, but not loving Katie.
“All right,” Steve said, sounding calm and rational, “let’s reason this out.”
“Good luck,” Jason said under his breath. He’d been trying to do exactly that all day and was more confused than ever.
“Where’s Katie now?”
“I don’t k
now. She ran out of here first thing this morning.” He didn’t confuse the issue by explaining Elaine’s untimely phone call and how it had set everything off between them. “Get this. Katie ran out of here, claiming I was doing the same thing I’d done before by abandoning her.”
“You? She betrayed you.”
“She didn’t,” Jason returned heatedly. “Her parents shipped her off to her aunt’s place in England. She had no way of contacting me.” He didn’t mention the hunger strike or that she’d nearly died when her appendix ruptured.
“You believe her?”
He nodded. Perhaps because he so desperately wanted it to be the truth.
“You were little more than kids.”
“I loved her then and God help me, I love her now.”
Steve sat back down. “What about Elaine?”
If Jason knew the answer to that he wouldn’t be in such a state of turmoil. “I decided this morning that the only fair thing to do was tell her…”
Steve stopped him by raising his hand. “That would be a big mistake.”
“I slept with another woman, Steve. I can’t just stuff that under the carpet.”
His brother jerked his hands back and forth in a stopping motion. “You might think confession is good for the soul, but in this case I don’t think so.”
“I tried to tell her.”
“What does she know about Katie?”
Steve assumed that he’d confessed his teenage marriage early on in their relationship, but he hadn’t. “Only what I was able to relay this afternoon. I intended to tell her everything, but chickened out at the last minute.”
“Thank God. The worst thing you could have done is tell her about what happened last night. Even the advice columnists think it’s a bad idea. You read ‘Dear Abby,’ don’t you?”
Jason stood and jammed his hands into his pants pockets. “Okay, so I don’t say a word to Elaine about Katie. Don’t mention a thing about last night. That doesn’t change the way I feel.”
“What do you mean?”
Jason took in a deep breath. “I…don’t know that I want to go through with the wedding.”
“What? You’re joking. Tell me you’re joking!” Steve was back on his feet. His brother had turned into a human pogo stick. He fastened his hand against his forehead and slowly shook his head.
“How can I marry Elaine now?”
Steve glared at him. For a minute, he seemed to be at a complete loss for words. “You’re right, you’re right,” he said finally. “This is one of the most important decisions of your life and marriage isn’t something to be taken lightly.”
Jason felt part of the burden lifted from his shoulders. Steve understood. If no one else, his brother would stand at his side, support his decision, help him through this mess. Together they’d muddle through the same way they had as boys.
“But, Jason, have you considered the ramifications of canceling a wedding at the last minute like this?”
He’d thought of little else all day.
“Elaine’s family has invested a lot of money in this.” Why his brother felt it was necessary to remind him of that Jason didn’t know. It was something he preferred not to consider at the moment.
“I know.”
“Lisa mentioned that the wedding gown came from the Young Lovers. She said there wasn’t a gown in the entire store under five grand.”
Jason knew that, too.
“You’re sure you want to cancel the wedding?”
“They’re having pickled asparagus tips,” Jason muttered, knowing it was a completely illogical statement.
“Pickled asparagus tips?” Steve repeated.
Jason shook his head to clear his thoughts. “Never mind.” It seemed a damn shame to marry a woman he wasn’t sure he loved because she planned to top the canapés with asparagus. He didn’t even like asparagus. He’d never liked asparagus, and generally he enjoyed vegetables.
“I have to tell her, Steve,” he murmured. “Even if it means ignoring Dear Abby’s advice. Then Elaine and I can make an intelligent decision together.” Surely his fiancée would realize that if he fell into bed with another woman only two days away from their wedding, something wasn’t right. True, there were mitigating circumstances, but that didn’t excuse or absolve him.
“I hate to see you let Katie do this to you a second time,” Steve said, sitting back down and reaching for the peanuts. “There are people in this world who are just bad for us.”
Jason had never thought of Katie in those terms but he didn’t want to get into a verbal debate with his only brother.
“What’s she like these days?” Steve inquired.
“The same.” The outward trappings were more sophisticated, but it was the same wonderful, generous Katie.
“Daddy’s puppet?”
Jason knew what Steve was doing and he didn’t like it. “Leave her alone.”
“Alone. I don’t intend to contact her if that’s what’s worrying you. She ran out on you, remember? It isn’t the first time, either, is it?”
“I said stop it,” he shouted.
“All right, all right.” Steve raised both hands. “I apologize—it’s just that I don’t want you to make the biggest mistake of your life.”
“Trust me, Steve, I don’t want to, either.”
Chapter Six
The church was filled with people Jason didn’t know. The priest directed traffic while the organist practiced the traditional wedding march. The musical score echoed through the sanctuary, bouncing off the ceiling and walls, swelling and filling the large church.
Everyone talked at once and soon Jason could barely hear himself think. Rich and Bob and their wives and children sat impatiently in the front pew. Bob’s wife bounced a squirming toddler on her knee. A handful of kids raced up and down the aisles, refusing to listen to Elaine’s mother, who chased after them.
Jason’s stomach was so tight he didn’t know how he’d make it through this rehearsal without being sick. He had to talk to Elaine, explain what happened with Katie, despite his brother’s advice. He felt he owed her the truth.
Once he confessed the error of his ways, they could reason everything out like two mature adults and decide what they should do. The only clear answer, as far as he could see, was to cancel the wedding.
Steve elbowed him in the side. “Father Ecker says you’re supposed to step toward the altar as soon as Elaine starts down the aisle with her father.”
At the mention of his fiancée’s name, Jason turned toward the back of the church, hoping to find her. He hadn’t seen her since lunch. Quite possibly she was still involved with the asparagus tip disaster.
When he finally did see her, his heart sank with dread. She stood just inside the vestibule with her bridesmaids gathered around her like a gaggle of geese. She wore a mock veil and carried a frilly bouquet made up of a hundred or more ribbons in a variety of colors and sizes. They came from her five wedding showers, if he remembered correctly. Oh, no. All those gifts would need to be returned.
“I have to talk to Elaine,” he announced tightly.
“Now?” Steve asked incredulously.
“Yes.” He wasn’t putting this off any longer. He walked over to where Father Ecker stood. “I need a few minutes alone with Elaine.” He didn’t ask if the moment was convenient. He didn’t care if he did hold up the entire rehearsal. This was by far more important.
Marching down the center aisle, he sought her out. “Elaine.”
Giggling with her friends, she didn’t notice him at first.
“Elaine.” He tried again.
She glanced away from her maid of honor. “Jason, you’re supposed to be in the front of the church,” she teased.
“We need to talk,” he announced starkly.
“Now?” Her eyes grew round and large.
“Right now.”
Elaine cast a speculative glance toward her women friends before following him into the back of the church in the dim light of
the vestibule. “What’s going on? You haven’t been yourself all day.”
“I have something to tell you.” The best way he could think to do this was to simply say it without offering her any excuses or explanations. He had no justifications to offer for sleeping with Katie.
“You need to talk to me again? Really, Jason, you’re carrying this thing a bit far.”
“What thing?” Maybe she knew more than she was telling.
“Nerves. Darling, everyone has them.”
She didn’t appear to be affected. “It’s a lot more than nerves.”
“You sound so serious.” She laughed, making light of his distress.
“I am serious.” He held her gaze for a long moment before he spoke again. “This afternoon I told you about Katie and me.”
“Yes,” she said, sounding bored. “We’ve already been through all that, Jason. Really, you don’t have anything to worry about—I understand.”
“I saw her last night.”
“Katie? Here in San Francisco? I thought you said you met her in high school.”
He nodded. “I did. I haven’t seen her in ten years…the last time I did she was my wife.”
Elaine’s mouth thinned slightly. “But she isn’t now, right?”
“No,” he agreed readily enough. He paused because what he had to say next was so damned difficult.
She glared at him with agitation. “Jason, really, can’t you see we’re holding up the entire rehearsal? I’m beginning to lose patience with you and this woman from your past. So you saw your high school sweetheart after ten years. Big deal.”
“That isn’t all.” His voice sank so low he wondered if she heard him.
Elaine crossed her arms and tapped her foot. “You mean to tell me there’s more?”
He nodded, and swallowed hard. Lots more. “Katie and I had dinner together.”
She laughed nervously. “So you had dinner with an old girlfriend. You should know by now that I’m not the jealous type. Frankly, Jason, you’re making much more of this than necessary. I trust you, darling.”
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