“The important thing is how he treats you. Todd actually cares about what I want and what I think.”
“I hope you remember that when Kent shows up.”
“I don’t understand why he would bother. He knows I’m married.”
“And that doesn’t matter to him. I don’t know why he proposed to Rebecca in the first place, but for some reason he did.”
She poured water into the pot as I added the peeled potatoes into it.
She sighed thoughtfully. “Do you love Todd?”
“Yes. But what I feel for him is different than what I feel for Kent. Well, I should say ‘what I felt for Kent.’ I’m over him now.”
“Just when you think you’re over the past, it comes back to haunt you.”
“No. I won’t let it. I made my decision the day I married Todd. I promised to forsake all others as long as he lived.”
She still seemed uncertain but nodded and silently turned to the salad we were going to make. That was when I made my decision. I would consummate my marriage with Todd that night.
Chapter Sixteen
Todd’s Point of View
After John, Barbara and their children went home, Agnes, Ann and I stood in the living room. I assumed we were going to sit and talk, but Agnes said she wanted to go to bed early.
“What a lovely day,” she said. “I do confess that those children wore me out. I don’t know how Barbara does it all day with them! You farmer’s wives have too much work to do. I have to admit that I like to be spoiled. I would rather have the servants’ help, but this certainly is a nice place to visit.”
“It’s really not that difficult once you get used to it,” Ann assured her. “It’s nice to have some privacy. When I had servants, I couldn’t even sneeze without someone handing me a handkerchief.”
I smiled. “I suppose there are benefits to both worlds. I’m glad you ventured out here.”
Ann nodded. “I am too. Thank you for coming.”
I turned to Ann after Agnes went up to her bedroom. “That’s odd. I thought she’d want to stay up for two more hours. Usually, I can’t get her to stop talking. Life certainly isn’t boring when she’s around.”
“Oh?”
“You know what I mean.” I grinned to show her I was joking. Life was definitely not boring with Ann. I motioned to the couch. “Would you like to stay up and talk?”
She hesitated. “Actually, I was thinking of going to bed.”
“Oh.” I had hoped we could sit together and talk. Perhaps, more would come of it. Even if it didn’t, it would still be nice to be with her. “Are you going to wake up early tomorrow? Ever since Agnes got here, we haven’t had much time alone. I guess I got used to it just being us.”
She didn’t reply right away, which surprised me since she didn’t usually take long to answer my questions. When she did respond, I wasn’t expecting her reply. “Would you like to come with me?”
I nearly bolted for her bedroom but I forced myself to stand still. “Are you saying that you’re ready?” I wanted to be sure I understood her.
She nodded.
As much as I wanted to forget my nightly chore, I knew we would all be cold by morning if I didn’t do it. “I’ll gather enough firewood for the night and bring it to your room. I should take some to Agnes too.”
“Then I’ll be waiting for you.”
I watched as she walked up the steps. I was so excited that I quickly slipped on my shoes and grabbed my coat. I threw open the back door and ran out to the barn to collect enough wood for the night. When I came back into the house, I hastily took off my coat. I would put it on the hook later. I didn’t bother to take my shoes off. Instead I climbed the stairs and took a deep breath. I knocked on Agnes’ bedroom door. I couldn’t forget to give her some firewood.
Agnes opened her door. I noted that she was still in her dress.
“I brought you some firewood for the night. Would you like me to put a piece in the box stove?” I offered.
“Alright,” she agreed and moved aside so I could bring in the wood.
I knelt by the box stove and inserted a piece of wood into it. I glanced over at her bed and noticed she was reading a book. “I thought you were tired.”
“Oh. Not really. I just wanted to give you and Ann some time alone. I know I tend to dominate the conversation whenever I’m around. After all, my great gift in life is talking.”
I smiled at her as I stood up. “That’s thoughtful of you.”
She gave me a quick hug. “She does love you, even though she won’t come out and say it. We did a lot of talking and she likes being with you. You’re a lot better than Kent ever was.”
I thought her words were odd but accepted them. “I hope you enjoy the book.”
She nodded and sat on her bed.
I quietly shut the door behind me and walked past my room. It felt good not to have to sleep in there tonight. By the time I reached Ann’s door, I realized my hands were shaking. Now that the moment was here, I was more nervous than excited. I loved her so much. I hoped she would enjoy the night as much as I knew I would.
I tapped on her door.
“Come in,” she softly replied.
I had a hard time making eye contact with her as I entered the room. I laid the stack of chopped wood beside the box stove. Since the fire was low, I added two more pieces of wood to the fire. I slowly stood up and turned around. I frowned. She had her eyes closed.
“Are you asleep?” I whispered. I really didn’t want to return to my room but couldn’t bring myself to wake her.
Her eyelids flew open.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.” I smiled, relieved she was still awake. I sat next to her. “Are you sure you want to do this?”
“Yes. Do you?”
Yes! “More than you know, though I didn’t think I’d be this nervous when the time came,” I admitted.
She looked relieved. “Thank goodness. I thought I was the only one who was nervous.”
I chuckled, glad she felt the same way I did.
I took off my shoes and slipped under the covers. She moved closer to me. I loved the feel of her in my arms. I hugged her close to me. My heart pounded with joy and anticipation. We remained silent for a long time. I wanted to enjoy the moment, but my desire to do more was steadily increasing.
I kissed the top of her head. I loved the smell of her soft hair. She lifted her head off of my chest. She was so beautiful. I gladly gave into the urge to kiss her since now I knew I could. She responded to my kiss with a passion that surprised and delighted me. She wanted me as much as I wanted her. This knowledge only increased my arousal. Our kiss deepened and I took off my shirt as she settled back into the bed. Her hands felt incredibly sensual on my bare shoulders. I had often wondered how they would feel on my body, and it was better than I expected. My hands traveled from her hair to her breasts. She was amazingly soft. She was all woman and I was aware of how my body was responding to that fact. My lips hungrily made their way down her neck. I was desperately trying to go slow but my urgency for her was starting to consume me.
“Todd, wait. Agnes is at the door.”
I stopped and looked up at her, not fully comprehending what she was saying. Did she want me to stop?
“Todd, our parents are here!” Agnes yelled from behind the closed door. “They’re at the front door.”
My reaction to my sister’s announcement was immediate. I bolted out of the bed as if it were on fire. Of all things that could kill a mood, this ranked high on the list. I quickly picked up my shirt and buttoned it. After I put my shoes on, I remembered Ann. I turned to her. I didn’t want to leave her, but I didn’t feel like I had a choice. “I have to see them. I’m sorry.”
“No, don’t be sorry. I understand.” Her eyes were wide with the same shock I was experiencing.
“It’s probably best if you stay here, just in case things don’t go well.”
She nodded.
I sighed and
left her room. I faced a startled Agnes. “You didn’t open the front door?”
“Of course not. I don’t wish to confront them on my own. They’re bound to be furious with me. I came here against their will.”
“You’re not the only one,” I grumbled as she followed me down the stairs. I didn’t feel like seeing them. I wanted to be with Ann in her bedroom.
I opened the door and my parents rushed into the parlor.
My father’s face was red with rage, but my mother was softly crying into a handkerchief. I braced myself for what he would say.
“Agnes, go out to the carriage,” he ordered. “I need to talk to your brother.”
“Let’s not be hasty,” our mother sobbed. “We don’t need to make matters worse.”
“Mother is right,” Agnes quickly agreed. “Why don’t we sit down and take a few moments to calm down?”
I thought this was a good idea.
My father shook his head. “I have had enough of this. I spent many days traveling here. The last thing I want to do is spend another minute in this...this…”--he looked around my house as if it were the most disgusting thing he ever saw--“place.”
“May I remind you that this is my house?” I stated through gritted teeth. It took all of my willpower to not throw him out. He is your father. Be careful what you say.
“Such as it is.” He turned to my mother. “Take Agnes out of here. What I have to say, I only have to say to him.”
“I will have to pack my clothes first,” Agnes angrily replied before she headed up the stairs.
“Please, go easy on him,” Mother begged. “He has his reasons.”
“It would be best for you stay out of this,” he told her, his tone gentle. “I will not change my mind.”
She gave me an “I’m sorry” look and followed Agnes to her bedroom.
I turned to him and crossed my arms. I didn’t appreciate being treated like a little kid who got caught doing something wrong.
“I raised you better than this. You could have had the entire family fortune. As the only boy, it was your right. Your sisters will find men to care for them.” He took a deep breath. “Look, I am willing to overlook your rebellion if you come home with me.”
“I am not a boy anymore. I’m a man. This is my house. I found work I love and I plan to stay here. I don’t need your money, but it would be nice if we could get along.”
“You continue to reject me, your own father?”
“I am following God’s leading for my life.”
“And you’re dragging poor Miss Statesman down with you. Do you think it’s fair to make her suffer like this?”
I clenched my jaw. Why did he have to call Ann by her maiden name? It was bad enough that he refused to acknowledge my work. Couldn’t he at least acknowledge my marriage? “Her name is Mrs. Brothers. We’re married.”
“Even so, the poor thing must suffer out here. There are no comforts.”
“It is a tough life at times, but it’s worth it. She chose to come with me. I didn’t force her.”
“She only came because of Kent and Rebecca. Do you honestly think she will stay once she finds out he wants her back?”
Time stood still for me in that moment. Kent wanted her back?
“Rumor has it he will be here any day. Save yourself the humiliation of losing her and return to Virginia. The only advantage Kent has over you is his economic status. I will hold a job for you at the bank.”
It took me a couple of seconds to process his words. If he knew that Kent was coming, then Agnes knew too. And if Agnes knew...
“I’m staying here, and she will stay with me,” I finally said, though my words seemed hollow to my ears. Would she really stay once she saw him again?
“We’ll see about that,” he snapped. “You are no longer my son. Agnes, you have no choice. You are not old enough to defy me yet. Stop eavesdropping and get down here right now.”
Agnes and Mother obediently walked down the stairs. Agnes clutched the carpetbag to her chest.
As soon as Father left the house, Mother quickly hugged me. “Don’t lose hope, Todd. Maybe one day he’ll understand you did the right thing.”
“Thank you, Mother,” I softly replied, glad for her kind words.
Agnes gave me a quick hug but I didn’t return it. “Be sure to tell Ann I said good-bye. I’ll try to find a way to visit again.”
“You should probably wait until you graduate from school. Then you will be an adult.” I forced myself to stay calm despite my sudden anger at her. She knew that Kent was coming, and she told Ann but she didn’t tell me.
“Of course. You warning is well-heeded.”
After she left, I stood quietly in the parlor. Many emotions coursed through me. Disbelief, shock, love, doubt, fear, and finally…anger. That was why Ann had been distant from me the past couple of days. She wasn’t aloof until Agnes showed up. So Agnes told her the night she arrived. I knew something was wrong.
I closed my eyes, willing my rage to die down. I hated Kent. I hated how inferior he made me feel. I could never compete with him. I was planning to ask Ann if I could court her when he stepped into the picture and took her from me, and he was about to take her away again. In that moment, my entire world caved in. Why didn’t she tell me? What did she have to hide? The only reason she wouldn’t tell me was because she was tempted to go back to him. The realization had a chilling effect on my heart.
I looked at her bedroom door, which was slightly open. She heard everything. I knew she did. Why wasn’t she coming down to explain the situation with Kent? All she had to do was tell me, and then she could reassure me that she wouldn’t go with him, that she would stay with me. After all, why would she plan to consummate our marriage if she had no intention of staying? I shook my head. I didn’t know what to think.
I took a deep breath before I walked up the steps. I thought about leaving the house, but I knew I had to confront her first. I had to give her a chance to confess what had been bothering her. If she admitted it, then we could work through it. My heart raced as I softly knocked on her door.
“Come in.”
I opened the door. She was standing by the bed in her robe. Did she look guilty?
“I suppose you heard all of that.” It wasn’t my intention to sound cold. Give her a chance. I crossed my arms, suddenly feeling vulnerable, and waited for her to say something.
She didn’t say anything. She just pretended to be interested in the cord on her robe. Why wasn’t she telling me Kent was coming?
“It actually went better than I expected,” I said, wondering if beginning the conversation would help her to open up. “I knew my father wouldn’t approve of what I did. My mother, however, did surprise me. I didn’t anticipate her concern.”
“Then that part is good news.” She stood there, just looking at me and waiting for me to continue.
I couldn’t believe it. After how close we’d gotten, she wasn’t going to say it.
“You’re going to make you ask it, aren’t you?” I finally stated.
“If I had any idea of what you are referring to, it would help.”
“Agnes keeps nothing from you, but she does have her share of secrets from me.” My anger was quickly surfacing.
She stared at me as if she had no idea what I was talking about.
“I can’t believe this. You are actually going to make me ask it.”
“I have done nothing wrong, but you make me feel like I did.”
I noted the anger in her voice.
My jaw tensed. “Agnes told you about Kent, didn’t she? Surely, if my parents knew, then she did too.”
Her eyes grew wide, as if she had just heard the news. “Yes, she told me. No, I haven’t seen him nor do I plan to.”
“Why didn’t you tell me? Do you understand how this looks to me? It’s like you’re trying to hide your guilt.”
“But I have done nothing wrong.”
“Then why didn’t you tell me?”
“Is there anything else you’re hiding from me?” Did I really know her?
She gasped. “I don’t appreciate being treated like a child. I have kept my vow to be faithful to you.”
I forced myself to calm down before I said anything I would regret. “I’m sorry that you feel that way. I just want the truth. I thought you were beginning to love me. But after this news about Kent...” I shook my head. “I don’t know what to think. To find out that you knew and didn’t tell me makes me think I can’t trust you. I have to wonder what other things I don’t know about you.”
“I can’t believe this. I have opened my heart to you in a way I never did with him. You can rest assured that I have never done anything to harm you. What I do, I do to help. And since you must know every single detail of my life, I help the Coley’s out at the store in town. I noticed you were pacing downstairs one night and realized you were having trouble with the finances, so I decided to do some cleaning, bookkeeping and inventory in exchange for some free food and cooking supplies. I still do it and will keep doing it. It gives me a sense of purpose, and I have met some wonderful people while in town. Would you like a list of their names?”
My jaw dropped. “You don’t have to be con-descending.”
“Neither do you.”
Now was not the time to argue. Emotions were running too high. Just calm down. “It’s been a long night. I suggest we get some sleep. We can talk more in the morning.”
She stared at me as I left and went to my bedroom. I wanted to slam the door in frustration but didn’t. Instead, I quietly shut it and walked to the window. It was a clear and cool night. I should ride my horse. I needed to burn off my anger somehow. I turned to the picture of Ann that I kept on my dresser. I picked it up. The solid frame felt unusually cold.
When I asked Agnes for the picture, I had no idea what was going to happen in the next two and a half years. I loved Ann for so long and she never noticed me. I spent many nights trying to think of things to say that she might find interesting. I wasn’t the one she wanted. She wanted Kent. Did she want him now? How could she still want him when she was willing to give all of herself to me? I should have left her back in Virginia. I never should have brought her with me.
Falling In Love With Her Husband Page 13