by Amber Burns
Enya’s own thoughts hurt much worse than any words Thomas L Silversson had spoken. As she walked Enya was over thinking every single moment of her encounter with his grandma. She realized she was intentionally adding darker colors to the scene. She needed it to hurt, to taste bitter, to rip her soul apart. That was the only way she could get Thomas Lousy Liar Silversson out of her system once and forever. Today, more than ever Enya was ready to give up.
The shop was still closed, Karo not scheduled to arrive for another couple of hours. The dark windows and lack of activity morbidly blended in with the surroundings. Enya’s oasis of sweets was surrounded by dozens of empty and half-deconstructed venues. While it did look quite out of place when the lights were on and there were customers inside, right now it fit right in; Just like Thomas wanted.
Enya entered the empty shop, grimacing at the cheery bell as it rang to signal her entrance. She was met with the familiar smell of spices and sweet the pervaded the shop, even after the last decadent dessert had been consumed. Enya sighed a conflicted sigh, enjoying the sweet scent yet hating that it was doomed to die. She proceeded to the kitchen and found a small bag she had in the back. It was a sort of emergency bag with various toiletries and spare clothing. Digging through the bad she found a lacy crimson bra. She shook her head, unsure what she was thinking when she packed it an unknown number of months or maybe years ago.
Whatever, she told herself. Nobody is going to see it underneath this dress anyway.
The bra was not only too lacy and too sexy, but also a bit too small. She pulled her dress down and checked her reflection in the mirror. The too-tight cups of her newly claimed crimson bra served as pushups for her boobs. As if the dress did not show enough cleavage already, the pushup bra added some extra flame to it. Enya sighed and pulled up the dress, trying to hide her now overexposed breasts when her phone buzzed in her purse. Enya hoped it was Karo but suddenly feared it was Thomas. It was a relief to see her mother’s picture on her screen, though only a brief one.
“You have completely forgotten your mother,” Enya’s mother’s greeting was an accusation, as always.
“Hi, mom, sorry. I’ve had a lot on my plate these days.”
Enya found a hairbrush and tried to bring her messy hair in order. She looked pale like a ghost with only her freckles proving she was still a living human being. For just one second, Enya wanted to be a little girl and for her mom to ensure her that everything was going to be alright. That was not the case with Enya. She felt more like the adult who was taking care of her mom who sounded like a little girl in distress now.
“You always have a lot,” her mother complained. “But let me remind you that you also have a family and a mother who is very unhappy right now.”
“Okay, mom,” Enya watched as her reflection in the mirror rolled her eyes. “Tell me what’s wrong.”
“Your father has lost interest in me. He has been busy with his new ridiculous habit. Did you know your father is a fisherman now?”
Enya was not sure if it was anger, irritation or sarcasm in her mom’s voice. Whichever it was, it did not sound good at all. Her parents’ marriage was the one thing that gave her some little hope that happy ever after could exist.
“Mom, fishing is what some men do. He’ll get tired of it, don’t worry.”
“Flyfishing,” her mother clarified. “He explained in every little detail how that was different from any other fishing technique and I was supposed to be interested in it. In bed. Am I that old to talk about flyfishing when I am in my bed with my man?!!”
Enya just shook her head, as if her mother could hear her doing so. With so many other thoughts invading her head she couldn’t manage to process everything her mother was saying.
“Let’s go for shopping after your work today,” Enya’s mom suggested. “I’ll tell you all about your father’s weird hobby and you will tell me if there is any interesting, good looking man on the horizon for you...”
Enya’s mother’s words brought a sting to her heart. Thomas Silversson’s debonair smile and intimidating green eyes flashed before her. Enya could listen to her mom nagging all day long, but grilling her on ‘where’s your new man’ topic was much more than she could take today. She could not bring herself to tell her mother about her disastrous experience with Mr. Thomas “Just a Business Associate” Silversson.
“Mom, I can’t do that tonight,” Enya responded as she surveyed her hair. It did not look any better than before she started and she just picked it up in a ponytail again. “Look, I am going to be hopeless and jobless soon, you’ll have all the time in the world to take me for shopping trips. But for now, let me enjoy my last working days in dignity.”
The misery-mixed-power speech always worked with her mom; the woman loved drama in any form. So, being done with the most difficult talk of her day, Enya decided her that look was complete and she was good to go back to work in her absolutely empty shop. Karo showed up half an hour later and the look in her eyes told Enya something was going on with her friend.
“Sorry, boss,” Karo apologized as she entered.
She did not look her usual cheerful self. Something was very amiss. Enya could read it on her assistant’s face.
“What’s going on?” Enya sat down at one of the tables. “What’s wrong?”
“First, let me first get some hot chocolate for us,” Karo tried to delay by heading to the back.
“No,” Enya stopped her. “We’ll have the chocolate later, just tell me and spare me the sweet part of how much you love me.”
“But I really love you, boss,” her assistant reassured her.
“Tell me. Now!”
Karo squirmed before slowly looking up to her boss.
“Andy got a promotion,” she admitted, but left out further details. Enya just continued to look into Karo’s eyes, awaiting the bad news she knew was coming. “In the headquarters. He… we will need to move across the country.” Karo’s face went sour and she broke eye contact, her gaze falling to the floor. “He’s starting in a week.”
Enya sighed, not in anger or disappointment at her assistant but at the hand fate was dealing her. She almost blamed Thomas for it, he seemed to be responsible for everything else bad happening.
“Enya, I am sorry,” Karo continued. “I would’ve stayed here with you and supported you… but we are still not sure what will happen to the shop… and this opportunity is amazing for Andy... and….”
Enya tried to think of what she had to offer to her assistant. The idea of relocating and opening a shop somewhere else was still a possibility. But how would the business go there? Would their customers find them? Would they go broke in a month after opening? None of that risk was worth losing a boyfriend if one had him. She couldn’t ask Karo to stay.
“I’ll go get that hot chocolate anyway,” Karo quickly disappeared through the kitchen doors leaving Enya with all her worries and concerns. Even Karo was deserting her. The one and only most devoted assistant. Karo, who stood by her side from Day One of opening ‘Yum & Fun’ to day Almost-the-last.
Being alone terrified Enya most of all. She could call her friends, meet them for a drink, complain about her misery all night long and maybe feel slightly better after emptying two-three bottles of whiskey but none of that was actually going to solve any of her problems. The truth was, right now Enya was all alone with her world collapsing around her.
***
Enya closed the shop early that evening. Only one couple had shown up and bought a box of sweets for some party. Karo had left earlier to start packing for her departure. Home sounded like the last place Enya wanted to be. She tried calling her three friends but all three of them were busy. Pouring out her heart to Chris the bartender also seemed too miserable to do.
All those thoughts directed her steps to one place, the building with graffiti that had made her feel happy and strong in so many ways the night of her birthday. That, and the words that her mysterious man had spoke. A man, whose name she
did not know, whose face she had never seen and who had promised to never look for her. He seemed like the only person who could understand her now.
Enya climbed the fire escape, just as she had done weeks ago. The familiar setting set her heart racing and insides ablaze. Even though sex was the last thing on her mind, she found herself needing the street artist to be there. When she reached the roof, Enya surveyed her surroundings. The view was just as beautiful as she imagined, the artwork still vibrant against the bricks. Yet, her mysterious street artist was nowhere to be found. Enya couldn’t remember if he had said he was there every Friday or Saturday night. Though regardless, she wasn’t even quite sure what day it was it today.
Somehow, none of that mattered. Enya decided there were nights to be spent alone, on a rooftop, wearing a dress and a scarf borrowed from a friend and a bottle of wine she had stolen from her own pastry shop which was not going to be hers soon. Enya had never slept outdoors alone. There was always a perfectly lonely night and a graffiti covered rooftop to start.
13
“You did what?” Jennifer asked again. This time her voice was much louder and she even fanned her face with her hand to underline her surprise. As if it was not written all over her face.
Enya rolled her eyes - mentally. She was doing it way too often these days and knew it could be annoying for some of her friends. She also did not want to turn into one of those pre-middle-aged single women who had sarcasm as their only answer to every trouble.
Enya had asked for this gathering of her friends yesterday and was heartbroken, one again, when it did not happen. Now, when all three of her best friends changed their plans to see her and to listen to anything she wanted to tell them, she was mad with them for reacting to her stories.
“Girlie, you are finally rocking,” Emily encouraged her.
Emily and Jenn were like her two angels. It was cliché, but there was some truth in it. Whenever Jenn was taking the role of the good angel and chastising Enya, Emily would take her side no matter what stupid deed she had had confessed to them this time.
“I tell you, the thirties are the new teens,” Chris raised his oversized mug. “This girl is finally starting to live her life. And not just live it, but do everything she had missed because of... well, whatever other useless shit she had been doing in her teenage years instead of letting loose and getting crazy.”
That was Chris’ way of praising her and completely approving of her one-night lonely sleepover on the rooftop. Enya did not tell the whole story. She could not summon the courage to say that she was actually there in search of a certain mysterious street artist and that she eventually slept there because she did hope that the guy would show up at some point in the night if she waited long enough for him.
“I still can’t believe you said this was the very first time you slept outdoors,” Lilly shook her head.
Even though they had been friends since forever, Lilly still refused to admit how normal and boring some of her friends lived. Of course, she had to know Enya had never slept on a roof. Why would she have done that in the first place? And even if she had, she would for sure share that little insignificant detail about her life with her best friends.
“Why are you making such a big deal out of that?” Enya finally spoke in her own defense.
“Because everyone does that,” Lilly exclaimed throwing her hands into the air as if some unknown drunk god was going to listen to her prayer and throw some wisdom into Enya’s glass of JD on the rocks.
“Every normal one,” Chris corrected.
“Thanks, now that makes me feel so much better,” Enya actually rolled her eyes this time.
She never competed for the title of ‘the normal one’ among her friends. But somehow she had always been sure she was the one and only normal person. Lilly was the one who jumped from one man to another and had the wildest adventures. Emma worked with some business sharks and though that those were the nicest and kindest people in the world in addition to dating one guy for almost two thirds of her life. Jennifer not only refused to take off her engagement ring even in spa, but also worked with her fiancé in the same office, went to the same gym and book club with him. Enya wasn’t quite sure how all of that qualified as normal while Enya’s simple, tamed life fell into the abnormal category.
“Ladies, I’m not here for another pity party,” Chris emptied his beer and put the mug on the wooden table with a very loud thud to mark the end of the ‘pity party’. “You – four gorgeous chicks, can be so much fun with enough alcohol inside you. Shall I bring another round for everyone? No pity parties in my bar from this day on. Ever!”
“Your bar?” Emma studied him from the corner of her eye. As the most business-literate one among them, she always made sure every word was used in its proper meaning.
“Yup, ma’am!” Chris made an effort to climb from his seat. The alcohol inside him made it slightly difficult, though he managed to overcome the challenge. “You are sitting with the happy co-owner of this bar. My bar, my rules! I say, we should celebrate it!”
While happy for Chris and his announcement, his success only made Enya think of her own mistakes and failures. She had had several offers to involve a new partner in her business, but never gave them much consideration.
Would things have been different now if there was another person to share the responsibilities of the store? Would I feel stronger in my attempts to stand against Silversson Industries?
They were questions, she would never know the answers to but which would haunt her for many nights.
“You look too sad, girlie,” Emma gave Enya another pity-hug. “No tears! No crying!”
All the alcohol Enya had consumed during the night was threatening to run down her cheeks. She did not want to pour alcohol inspired tears.
“Wanna talk about it? You know we are here for you,” Lilly asked quietly.
Enya shook her head. She didn’t want to spoil this party. This was one of the rare evenings when all of them were actually having fun.
“I could always seduce your Silversson guy,” Chris offered.
Enya almost choked on her drink. The image of Chris taking Thomas from behind brining an evil smile to Enya’s lips, that quickly fell into a sad jealousy.
“Don’t give me that look!” Chris protested. “I am absolutely not falling for his green eyes and that super-sexy scar on his lip. Imagine a gay scandal looming over his head, and then you show up and start blackmailing him and he has no other choice but to cancel whatever glamorous thing he is building on your street?!”
Chris had this absolutely dilated gaze. His tongue lightly touched a drop of his whiskey in such an erotic manner, that all four women sucked sharp breaths and swallowed their moans.
“You can’t be serious,” Enya suddenly recovered from her little illusion.
“Kidding? I’m always serious! Everything for you, babe,” Chris kissed her cheek - too close to the corner of her mouth. So close, that she was glad she knew how much Chris loved his boyfriend.
“On a more serious note, we can start a social media campaign,” Lilly started.
“Good luck with that,” Emma shook her head. “You have no idea who the guy is, do you?”
Emma knew everything about any business shark in the country. Silversson was not an exception. Enya felt a little bit jealous. There was so much she still wanted to know about him. Yet, the clock was ticking and this whole situation was coming to an end, one way or another. No matter how it ended, she knew who was already left heartbroken.
“Thomas L. Silversson wouldn’t even bother to stop your little rebellion on social media. He would make a phone call and buy all of those platforms. And trust me - he wouldn’t even give it a second thought.”
“Marry him!” Jennifer’s words were like a bomb that not just interrupted Enya’s useless chain of thoughts, but caused an explosion of uncontrollable emotions inside her that she did not want to admit.
“That would be the only way,” Emma
agreed. “And you haven’t told us any juicy details about your date with him last night,” she emptied her glass, thirsty for not just alcohol, but some indecent passion stories.
Enya was not giving them the pleasure of those stories. Her thirties might’ve proven to be her new teens, but they also seemed to have turned her into quite an egoistic person who was too greedy to share any personal stories with her friends. The displeased looks, headshakes and frowns only proved that none of her friends were very happy with Enya’s newly discovered love for secrecy in her private life.
“I do deserve to know in what kind of notorious activities my dress and scarf have participated last night!” Emma was using the last weapon in her arsenal; her bossy tone that could intimidate anyone.
Not Enya, though. Not tonight. At least not ALL of the details.
“I can only assure you that the scarf played a major role and I was very happy with it,” she stared into her JD glass. If she refused to give more details, she was sure her blushed face did it for her. Her freckles felt on fire. For a shy person, those little ginger dots were a true curse. They gave away her every emotion she experienced.