I was not altogether prepared for the sight that met my eyes down on the seafront. The place is transformed! The esplanade and beach are barely visible beneath the vast amount of materials that have arrived for the pier. Father will be pleased to hear that progress is being made.
I was hoping to bump into the girl Marnie, but not quite in the way that I did.
Prince’s spirits were high and he escaped his leash and ran down the slipway towards the beach, almost knocking the poor girl to the ground. Luckily, she was quite unharmed. She was also much changed in her manner. She was actually pleasant to me! We talked freely for a few moments and she even teased me lightly. There was no coyness about her at all. She is a strange creature, but all the more fascinating for it. She reminded me how I’d asked her to teach me to swim and has dared me to meet her on the beach tonight, after dark!
I know I should not go. It is against all that is proper. But I also know that nothing will stop me from being there.
I did not mention her to Mother when she questioned me about my day.
22
White Silk Stockings
Marnie was having second thoughts. She wasn’t at all sure why she’d asked Noah to come to the beach. She was mad at herself, if the truth be told. Her night swims were her one precious secret; the only thing she had managed to keep hold of that meant anything to her. Now she had invited a near stranger to share it.
As Marnie lay at the edge of the bed listening to Ma’s breathing, she thought that maybe she shouldn’t go at all. Let the boy turn up if he wanted to; she would stay right here. She turned on her side with her face pressed into Ma’s arm. Ma’s skin smelled of stale sweat, tobacco and old bacon. Marnie closed her eyes and willed sleep to come. Ma grunted and for a moment Marnie imagined herself in bed next to a fat, sweating pig. She shifted around on to her back, but it was no better there. Ma’s breath, warm and vinegary with beer, seeped into Marnie’s nostrils. Marnie tried breathing through her mouth, but that was no good either as she fancied she could taste Ma’s breath. It was thick enough to bite. Why couldn’t Ma have gone to Smoaker’s room tonight?
It wouldn’t be many days before the lodger arrived, Marnie remembered. Then she would be blissfully alone at night next to the kitchen fire. Ma’s snores rattled through Marnie’s thoughts. Marnie sighed and turned on her other side with her back to Ma. She heard the bells of St Andrew’s on the Hill strike half past ten. She wondered if the boy Noah was on his way to the beach. Would he have torn himself away from the comfort of his bed, or had he waited patiently, watching from a window as the sky grew darker and darker? Don’t be foolish, Marnie thought. A proper young gent like him would never risk such an adventure. Especially not with the likes of her. He is certain not to come. With these words circling round her head like aimless gulls, Marnie grew more fidgety by the minute. It was no use; she was never going to sleep now. The sea heaved and breathed softly through the night air and Marnie could no longer resist its pull.
The bedchamber door creaked as she slowly opened it. Ma murmured at the noise and turned over, the bed-frame protesting loudly. Marnie waited, still as can be, until the air settled around her again. Then she limped through the dark kitchen and out of the cottage, her heart beating faster with every step. He wouldn’t be there. It was the maddest notion to think that the son of Sir John de Clevedon would be down on the beach waiting for her.
She didn’t see him at first. The heaps of ironworks had altered the appearance of the beach. Like scars running across a face, something once familiar had now become quite strange. Marnie had not yet grown used to the change and she stumbled on small rocks she hadn’t expected to be there. Even the large rocks that had sat in the same place all her life looked unfamiliar with the harsh shadows of the ironworks cutting across their shapes.
‘Marnie!’
She jumped at the sound of her name as it hissed through the thin sea mist. A figure rose to standing from the nearest and largest rock. ‘Marnie!’
She dug her stick into the shingle and steadied herself. ‘You came, then?’ she said, watching him as he ambled towards her with his hands in his pockets.
‘Yes,’ he said. ‘My nursemaid was kind to me and let me out of the nursery. But I must be back by midnight for my cup of warm milk.’ He smiled at her wryly, with one corner of his mouth. Marnie felt a small trickle of pleasure run down her back. She shivered slightly.
‘I told you it would be cold,’ said Noah.
‘I’m sure you don’t know what proper cold is,’ said Marnie tartly. ‘And I’m sure your nurse will have put a bed warmer between your sheets for when you get back.’
‘I am sure there will be one waiting for me,’ said Noah. ‘Only it is Hetty the parlour maid’s duty these days. My nursemaid, sadly, left me years ago, after I finally learned to dress myself.’
Marnie tossed her head. Noah was looking at her expectantly and suddenly she couldn’t think of anything clever to say. What was she doing here? What was he doing here?
‘Why did you come?’ she asked quietly.
‘Because you dared me to,’ he said.
‘Have you nothing better to do?’
‘Yes,’ he said. ‘I could be sleeping in a warm bed.’
‘Perhaps you should return to it then and leave me be?’
‘Indeed not! You challenged me to come and here I am! Now, your part of the bargain was to teach me the ways of the sea, if I remember correctly?’
Marnie hesitated. Could she truly do this? Could she trust this boy and let him into her private world? She looked into his face and saw nothing but an earnest innocence. Was this it, then? Marnie’s insides turned over. Was this what walking into the unknown felt like?
‘As you wish,’ she said. She bent to take off her boots and motioned for him to do the same.
He had on a fine pair of brown leather boots which he carefully unlaced and took off to reveal white silk stockings. Marnie sniggered. ‘You’d best take off your hose too. And roll up your britches.’
His bare feet shone white in the moonlight and he winced as he stood on the shingle.
‘Your skin is too soft,’ said Marnie.
‘Unlike your manner.’ He smiled as he said this and suddenly Marnie didn’t mind him being there at all.
‘Come on,’ she said. ‘Let’s get our toes wet!’
She led the way to the water’s edge and Noah followed, padding gingerly, like a cat on broken glass. Marnie lifted the skirt of her frock and walked straight into the water. The shock of cold ran through her body and she closed her eyes to savour the sensation.
Next to her, Noah squealed like a young girl. ‘You do this for pleasure?’
‘Hush,’ said Marnie. ‘Wait for the waves to come to you. Wait for the sea to get to know you in its own time.’ Marnie stood still and let the waves wash over her ankles; the bigger ones leaped up her shins and wet the hem of her frock.
Noah stayed silent and watched as each wave poured over his feet and dragged the sand back from under them. ‘Whoa!’ he exclaimed. ‘I am going to fall!’ He reached out and grabbed on to Marnie’s arm to steady himself. ‘My feet are sinking!’
‘Don’t look down,’ said Marnie. ‘It’ll make you giddy.’ She let him lean on her for a while and they stood in silence looking out into the darkness of the ocean.
‘It is beautiful, isn’t it?’ said Noah. ‘It is full of stars. I cannot tell where the sea ends and the skies begin.
‘I’m glad you like it,’ said Marnie. ‘If you listen hard you can hear it whispering.’
‘Listen hard? But I can hear it quite clearly. It is filling the air with its noise.’
‘No. Not that sound,’ said Marnie. ‘The sound underneath it all. The whispering.’
Noah stood silent for a moment. Then he shook his head. ‘It is no use. I can hear nothing but the crashing of the waves.’
‘You are new to it,’ said Marnie. ‘In time, once you get to know the ways of the sea, it will let you h
ear its voice.’
‘Is that so?’
‘You don’t believe me?’
‘All I know is, my feet are numb and there is sand scratching my toes.’
‘You think that’s bad?’ said Marnie. She bent to the water, scooped up a handful and threw it at his legs.
He yelled loudly. ‘That is unfair!’ He kicked at the water and sent a shower over Marnie’s head.
Marnie didn’t flinch. Instead, she scooped up two handfuls of water and threw them straight in Noah’s face. He gasped. ‘You mean to start a war?’ He kicked at the water again and sent a small wave over Marnie’s skirts. Soon, they were both splashing furiously, sending spray after spray of the icy sea over one another. Moments later, Noah was laughing breathlessly. ‘Stop!’ he begged. ‘I am near soaked through!’ His britches clung wetly to his legs and his hair lay flat to his forehead and dripped water down his face.
‘Have I won the war, then?’ asked Marnie. She had never felt so good. She had thought she would hate to share all this with anyone else, but to her surprise, having someone there with her had made it all the more wonderful. She wanted to tear off her frock and plunge into the sea. She wanted Noah to follow her in and taste the true delights of the night ocean. But she sensed he wasn’t ready yet. She would have go careful with him.
‘Yes! I concede. You have won the war this time!’
This time? Did that mean there would be another time? Marnie felt her skin glow and was glad the night shadows would conceal her flushes.
They walked back up the beach. Noah shook the water from his hair, tossing his head from side to side like a wet dog. Marnie laughed. ‘I see your wolfhound has been teaching you some tricks.’
‘Yes indeed!’ Noah smiled. ‘Prince would have loved it out here tonight. But I am afraid his barking would have woken the whole village!’
‘Have you had him for long?’ asked Marnie.
‘He was a gift for my fifth birthday. From my father. I have grown up with him. I can’t quite imagine life without him now.’
They walked in silence for a while. The wet skirts of Marnie’s frock turned cold against her legs. ‘I hope you do not mind me asking,’ said Noah. ‘But how did you come to be lame? Were you born that way?’
Marnie stiffened. Nobody had ever asked her that question before. She swallowed down the shame that suddenly filled her mouth.
‘I am sorry,’ said Noah, when she didn’t reply. ‘I did not mean to offend you. I did not mean to pry.’
‘You’re mistaken,’ said Marnie. She wouldn’t let him know she was ashamed of her affliction. ‘You haven’t offended me. You got your wolfhound for your fifth birthday … I got polio for mine.’
Noah stopped walking. He touched her on the arm. ‘I … I am so sorry.’
‘Don’t be,’ said Marnie. ‘It doesn’t matter. I do well enough.’
‘Yes,’ said Noah, taking his hand away. ‘I think you do.’
They climbed up the beach steps on to the esplanade. ‘Well, thank you,’ said Noah. ‘I should be getting back to the manor. To see if my bed has been warmed!’
Marnie nodded and turned to go.
‘Will I see you again?’ said Noah.
Marnie carried on walking. She hoped he couldn’t hear her heart banging loudly under her damp frock. ‘Come to the beach Sunday next.’ She tossed the words over her shoulder. ‘Same time. Same rock.’
23
The Journal of Noah de Clevedon
Clevedon. SEPTEMBER 6th 1868, Sunday
I had the strangest few hours of my life last night. Marnie is quite extraordinary. I have never met anyone like her. She was so natural with me and seems to have little sense of her place in the world. It is a pity she is lame, for she really is such a beauty. When I first saw her standing on the beach in the moonlight, she quite took my breath away. Dressed in a proper gown, with all the manners of society, she would put most of the young ladies of London to shame (excepting Cissie, of course!).
I confess I have never felt so free as I did last night. It was as though I had been released from heavy shackles. I did not have to think what I was saying or mind my manners. Marnie will be a most amusing distraction for me while I am forced to stay here. It is wise that we meet at night, though. I cannot risk being seen and having the servants’ tongues set to wagging. Father would be most distressed to hear I had struck up a friendship with a local wench, no matter how innocent it is.
Mother was too ill to attend church again today, so I accompanied Clarissa. I prayed as usual for Mother’s speedy recovery and nodded a greeting to the band of curious locals who gathered after the service in the churchyard.
I must let Prince out now, for his last turn around the grounds. It is past ten and I am worn out from the adventures of last night.
24
Soiled Washing
The following morning the lodger moved into Ratcatcher’s Row and took up residency in Ma and Marnie’s bedchamber. He was a tall, thin man with broad, bony shoulders and a patchy black beard. ‘This is Eldon Cross,’ Ma said, when Marnie returned to the cottage with the morning pail of water. Marnie nodded a greeting to the man and decided at once that she didn’t like the way he looked at her; as though he had been given a plate of hot stew and dumplings that he knew was all his to eat.
Smoaker seemed to like him, though. The two of them sat on the doorstep smoking their pipes before they took themselves off to the beach to join the other labourers.
The first bundles of soiled washing had arrived and Ma was anxious to begin at once. ‘We’ll start as we mean to go on, Marnie, and do this proper. Mistress Miles thinks she’s got it all sewn up, she does. Reckons herself a proper laundress. She never did too well by our towels, mind, did she? We’re up against it, Marnie. We’ve got to prove ourselves, we have. Get this laundry spick and span.’
Marnie looked in dismay at the oil-stained shirts and britches that Ma had spread out on the kitchen table. There was flannel underwear too, in all sizes, with a variety of unmentionable stains staring her in the face.
‘Right! First things first, Marnie. More water. That lot in the copper’s hot enough now.’
All morning Marnie lugged pails of water back from the pump. Ma had set up the wash tub in the backyard and the whites were put to soak in shavings of lye soap. Marnie was set to removing the worst of the stains. A hot coal wrapped in a rag to melt off hardened wax, chalk rubbed on grease marks and milk dabbed on to the yellow piss stains that patterned the fronts of underclothes. Ma grunted as she twisted the dolly stick round in the tub. ‘Through the wringer with these lot,’ she instructed Marnie.
By early afternoon, the bushes out front were decorated with the results of their efforts. Marnie’s arms had never ached so much and her hands were red raw and itchy with the lye. ‘I’m fair worn out now,’ said Ma. ‘Keep an eye on the washing while I go for a lie down. And don’t forget to turn it.’ She took herself off to Smoaker’s room while Marnie wandered across the lane and sat down gratefully on the grass embankment. She saw the horizon in the distance; a hazy blue where it met the sea. It was familiar and calm. Unlike the beach. The tide was out and what little of the beach Marnie could see swarmed with men and strange machinery. A vast steam-crane swung a length of ironwork out towards the shoreline. Smoaker had said there was three hundred and seventy tons of ironwork to be put in position. Marnie couldn’t imagine what that meant. The roar of scraping metal, the thud of tools and the hiss of steam had silenced the sea. Marnie couldn’t hear its voice any more. She only felt the ground beneath her shaking and trembling.
Marnie pulled her knees to her chest and thought back to the night before. All day she had wanted to do this. But she’d held the memories in the back of her head, bundled up like a net of squirming fish, until she could be alone with them. She let them go now, and shook them out so they darted around fast, challenging her to catch one.
Noah de Clevedon. She said his name out loud. She said it slowly, feeling the wa
y her lips curved around each sound. He’d come to the beach to meet her. He’d been kind to her. They’d laughed and talked and he hadn’t minded when she’d thrown water in his face and soaked him through. He’d made her feel safe in a funny sort of way. He didn’t seem to mind who she was or what she was. Marnie liked this new feeling that was bubbling around inside of her. She liked Noah, she realised. She didn’t hate him at all. She felt warm and soft all of a sudden. She’d never liked anyone before this. She stood up and laughed out loud and hollered into the afternoon air. Was this what having a friend felt like?
If it was, it was almost as good as jumping the first wave on a hot summer day.
As she turned to go back to the cottage, Marnie saw two of the village women staring at her from across the lane. ‘What are you looking at?’ Marnie shouted. ‘You never seen anyone happy before?’ Then she raised her stick in the air and hollered even louder.
25
The Journal of Noah de Clevedon
Clevedon. SEPTEMBER 12th 1868, Saturday
At long last, Mother’s health seems to be improving. Doctor Russell’s tonics are obviously working. She even took her evening meal with me and Clarissa last night. It is so good to see some colour back in her cheeks. She is still too weak, though, to make the arduous journey back to London. It seems I must endure this place a little longer.
Autumn has suddenly crept in around the edges of the days and it is bleaker here than I could have imagined. With only myself and Mother in the house, not all the rooms have been opened. There is an eeriness to the place that I do not like. The servants tiptoe about so as not to disturb Mother and they have all taken to talking in whispers. It is all so tedious and lonely. I miss the London house with its bustle and noise and constant visitors. I miss my friends. Although I did receive another letter from Arnold yesterday. But his tone was so jolly and his news so full of incident (he spoke with Cissie Baird at a fancy-dress ball a week gone and she sends her regards to me!) that I felt worse than ever after reading it. I am sure the poor fellow did not mean it to be so!
The Madness Page 7