by Anne Martin
“I do the riding. I do the driving, too. If you don’t want me drunk, that’s too bad. That’s the only kind of Trixie that anyone gets to touch.”
That night was one of her rampages. Supposedly she’d been with half a dozen different men and women, as well as committing crimes that no one could pin on her.
It was difficult to forget a woman who made that kind of impression. I wasn’t a fighter just so that I’d be the kind of man she’d notice, but I had developed my Horse Demon persona on the kind of man she couldn’t resist. I was into psychological profiles at the time. I became Nix with a little more New Jersey. It was really easy to get women to hang onto you when you looked good, smelled good, and didn’t grab them and treat them like objects. I let them objectify me and enjoyed myself. It amused me that Trix never connected the pathetic boy she’d rescued or the teen she’d humiliated with the brute fighter every woman wanted.
My aim was too good. The more Trixie wanted me, the more she hated me. It was easy to see that she had a huge fear of intimacy and vulnerability. Then she’d needed me, let me in, to her bed, her family, her heart. I’d never expected to be more than one of her rampages, but she’d married me, started talking about settling down with me until she figured out her future. It wasn’t hard for me to want a future with the complex woman who had been in and out of my life. It was impossible not to love her once I’d seen her heart, her glorious, generous soul.
“Horse, are you done daydreaming?”
I grinned at Mac. He was in the black room outside the cage. “Mac. I can’t get my woman off my mind. Can you blame me? I’ll wake up as soon as Nix hits me.”
He grabbed my face. “I know she’s on his team, but you need to show her that you can fight.”
I blinked at him. Mick would be watching the fight, pay-per-view, with Patty and the boys. Maybe her mom would make some of those stuffed sausage rolls. I couldn’t blow off the hours of training Mick had given me.
I dropped onto my knees and crossed myself. It felt weird, like the words of the prayer my mother had taught me too long ago, but when I stood up, I felt a fire burning in my heart. I would fight. I’d go down fighting. She was my family. I’d never stop fighting for my family.
I’d make her work on my assault vehicles like she’d agreed in the beginning. Tomorrow. I’d see her tomorrow and the day after, and the day after until she admitted that she loved me. Unless she didn’t. I shook my head. I had no time for doubt. I had a fight to win.
Nix was waiting for me, walking around and getting the crowd loud and blood-thirsty.
I walked in and searched the faces. I didn’t expect to see her, but there she sat in a blue gown the color of my eyes, leather on top, silk flowing around her like an ocean. Kitten was next to her in pink. They were the only spots of color in a world of black.
Trixie raised her eyebrows and tilted her head before she gave me a slight smile. It was a show smile. She was here as my show wife. Did she want me to lose? She was on Nix’s team. I blew her a kiss and winked at her. I could be a show Horse. I’d earn my twenty-bucks.
Nix and I circled.
“You okay?” he asked before throwing an easy punch that I dodged just as easily.
“I’m going to hurt you. Sorry.”
He raised his eyebrows and after that, it was the fight. Mick’s voice was in my head. Timing, spacing, rhythm and balance. It was a perfect fight. I heard chants of ‘Demon, Demon, Demon’ and then Nix was down. The other rounds weren’t quite as easy, not when Nix knew what was coming, but he couldn’t get an edge on me, not when I had to make it worth the price of pay-per-view. My family was cheering for me. I wouldn’t let my family down.
Afterwards, I sat in the black box, my elbows on my knees, staring at the wall.
“That was intense! Where’d you get that fight?”
I looked over at Mac. I might have smiled at him. I couldn’t feel my face.
He frowned and put a hand on my shoulder. “Hey, Horse, are you okay? Everyone thinks that you left to have a private party with Trix.”
I blinked at him. “She’s gone?”
He nodded. “We’re having a party, you know, it’s a big deal. If you wanted to come, you could forget whatever’s bothering you.”
I scowled at him and stood up. “No drugs, Mac. You touch a drop and I’m benching you.”
He laughed and raised his hands. “I knew that would get through. Get home. Sleep it off.”
“I’m not drunk.”
“You’re something. That fight? Beautiful. Painfully beautiful. Women are going to be crawling all over you.”
I felt sick. Not if Trix was beside me. I needed her beside me. She was my wife, whether we were living together or not.
I went home and wandered around my living room with a steak to my face. I had more high tech ice packs, but it was tradition. Someone knocked on my door. I went and looked out the peephole. It was covered. I threw open the door and Trix stumbled into me.
I stared at her, a slab of half-frozen beef between us. She was still wearing the dress.
I swallowed a sudden panic. “Are you okay? Any pain? Bleeding?”
She pushed me in and slammed the door behind her. “Okay, Horse, I didn’t expect the meat. You’re going to have to put it away.”
“Why?”
She shot me a look that made my toes curl. “You’re not giving me a divorce. I’m having a rampage, and I need a companion. My mother would kill me if I committed adultery. That leaves you. Convenient since you’re the Horse I want to ride.”
I went to the kitchen and put the steak in the freezer. I washed my hands and face, getting soap in my eye. It took some time to rinse that out. When I came back into the living room, Trixie was lounged on the couch completely naked. No, she was wearing her wedding ring.
I swallowed. “What are you doing?”
“Looking like a goddess. Come and worship me.”
I ran a hand over my face. “Trixie, I’m not saying no, I’m asking why.”
“Because I want to. I want you.” She shrugged. The movement made my mouth water. Her skin was so beautiful in the soft light. She belonged on that velvet couch exactly like that. She was a finer piece of art than anything money could buy.
I went to her and pushed all the questions, all the thoughts, all the terror out of my head. She wanted me. Now. I’d make the most of it and give her absolutely everything I had for as long as she’d take it.
Afterwards, she grabbed my chin and yanked me up so I had to look into her furious eyes.
“Never lose for me and my team again. Never.”
Chapter 15
Trixie ‘Dragon’ O’Hara
I shouldn’t have gone to the cage fight. Seeing Horse possessed with the hunger, the fight I’d seen in my brothers, in my dad, I wasn’t capable of sleeping until I’d made him mine. He looked even better winning than losing. I’d always felt an irritating itch for Horse, but after he was in my life like that, I needed him. I didn’t need anyone.
It was terrifying. I’d never done drugs, not when they messed with your depth perception and reflexes, but Horse, I couldn’t get him out of my head. When I lived in the hotel, it was too easy to get into the elevator and walk to his door. Every night. I didn’t sleep with him. I had my pride, or something, but every night I went to him and his couch. Or his table. Or his floor. No beds. I wasn’t sure why, but it felt important. I tried not to think about it, about him, but every night, it was like I was on autopilot.
After the first night, he didn’t hesitate, didn’t ask questions. He kissed me and took me however I wanted to be taken. I really hoped he disinfected his table. I disinfected mine three times to make up for it.
That night I did ask him, but he only growled because his mouth was occupied, and I forgot about it.
“Chica, you’re getting fat!”
I glanced over at Felicia. I was at her apartment. Barb was sitting on the steps outside like a guard dog. I’d invited her in, but she
wasn’t interested in girl talk. I had my laptop on the table and was looking over real estate.
“It’s not fat, it’s pregnant. It’s not possible for a pregnant woman to get fat.”
“Says who?”
“Horse.”
She wiggled her eyebrows at me. I ignored her.
“Shouldn’t you be looking at places with your espousa? Maybe he’s too distracting.”
“Every place that’s even slightly right is owned by this real estate company.”
“So?” she said, leaning next to me and looking over my shoulder.
I shrugged. “How can I find out what company they really are?”
She gave me a big smile. “Do you want me to do some research for you? Ah, that explains why you’re here. Cook me dinner and I’ll get what you want. Shoo!” She made the motions, and sent me to the kitchen while she sat down, cracked her knuckles and started getting down to business. She was much more computer techy than anyone else I knew.
After I had the sauce simmering, she called me in.
“VanBuren. Do you know them?”
I slumped into the chair next to her and saw how much real estate my husband owned in Vegas. I swore. A lot.
“Why does it bother you? It’s a good company, not a lot of trading to third parties who might jack with your rates.”
“I don’t think that’s what jack means. The thing is…” I frowned at Felicia. “Swear you won’t tell anyone.”
She raised her right hand. “I solemnly swear I am up to no good.”
I shoved her shoulder. “Okay. The thing is, Horse is kind of a billionaire slumming it with us.”
She leaned towards me, eyes narrowing. “Your sauce is burning.”
I darted for the kitchen. I grabbed the pan off the stove and stirred it. It wasn’t quite burned. She followed me in and got out plates she set on the small island. “So, the one girl in Vegas who couldn’t get bought, got played instead. Have to hand it to the man for a long game.”
“No, I don’t. No one plays me, Liche.”
“Oh, he did. Look at you, burning sauce. I saw him carrying you down the stairs when you came over to kick out Pete. You let him carry you.”
“Shut up.”
She smirked and ate, and I ate, and it was fine, but it didn’t make me happy.
“I need to do something to him, like destroy his business from the inside or something.”
“Or get a divorce and take half of it. Did you do a prenup?”
I blinked at her. “No. I wouldn’t do that. I don’t need his money.”
“Right. It’s much more ethical to completely destroy someone than to only take half. Chica, you are messed up.”
“Thanks. How would you destroy him?”
She shook her head. “Horse is wealthy without the secret past. Which fortune would you hit? He’d just make another one. Money isn’t his weakness. If you wanted to destroy him, you’d have to get him where he’s vulnerable.”
“Where’s that?”
She laughed and laughed and laughed.
“What’s so funny?”
“You. Sometimes, Trix, you’re just so oblivious. It’s adorable. Really. Ah, it makes me feel like a wise woman. You are his weakness. If you want to hurt him, hurt yourself.”
I scowled at her. “How does that help?”
“I see you hurting yourself, and him, and I’m telling you that you’re being an idiota. If you don’t want him to have money, tell him to give it away. He would. And then the two of you could live on love. Is that what you want? Fine. But do what you want, Trix. Don’t do this thing where you stay away from every decent man because you don’t believe that they exist.”
“You have the worst choice in men.”
She shrugged. “Ah, I never could resist a bad boy. But this husband of yours, he loves you. Anyone with eyes can see it. Even without eyes, completely obvious.”
“I don’t want him to love me.”
She sighed. “I know. But, Trix, you’re pretty lovable. I adore you. Everyone on the circuit, love and respect. It’s what you earn from people just by being loco you. Do you think that he’d give me a dance studio for telling you to stop pushing him away?”
I glared at her.
She laughed, pointing at me. “You should see your face. Okay. His wealth is a secret. I forget already. Let’s go shopping.”
Shopping was depressing. Felicia kept shoving sexy maternity lingerie at me. It was the stripper in her. She still liked pretty underwear. I’d never done that kind of thing, at least not unless it was for show. When she shoved me a teddy with little blue horses on it, I sighed, but I bought the stupid thing.
When I got to the apartment, I invited Barb inside, but she declined, instead sitting in the chair outside my door. I’d have a night guard who would follow me to Horse’s apartment and then follow me back. He didn’t talk much. At all. I couldn’t see his face, either because he kept his hat low.
Whatever. That night, I wore the teddy under a black coat that I rarely wore because we were in Vegas, but it was long and dramatic, also made out of very nice stuff. Jason told me it was a work of art.
When I knocked on the door, Horse was ready for me. I shoved him back and slammed the door behind me.
I stood there, glaring at him in my six-inch platform heels.
He licked his lips. “Are you hungry? I could order something, or we could go out…”
I dropped the coat off my shoulders so he could see my extremely ridiculous outfit.
His eyes widened and his hands moved towards me before he blinked and clenched his fists. He was waiting to see what mood I was in so that he could match it. He was so obliging. So considerate. So fake.
I crossed my arms and kept glaring at him.
He exhaled. “Are you waiting for me to take off my clothes? My negligee isn’t quite so exciting, but I know a place that’s open all night. I could get a suspender thong to match.”
“You own every place within five hundred miles that I might want to buy.”
His face cleared up and he folded his arms. “Ah. So this is to be a night of torture. You looking like that, while I can’t touch you. Excellent revenge.”
“If I told you to give away every cent of your money, would you?”
“I couldn’t, since it’s not all in my control, but everything I did control, yes, I could. Is that what you want?”
My heart pounded too hard. I shook my head. “No. I want you to say no. I want you to do something wrong, say something that isn’t exactly what I want to hear. I want you to be real.”
He studied me for a long time before he took a slow step towards me, his hands falling down to his sides. “We are real.”
“You aren’t. It’s too easy for you to cut off parts of yourself for me. You can’t do that. You have to be who you are, whole, perfectly you, or no one can know you, and no one can love you.”
He glanced away, his jaw taut. “You want to know me? Get to know me. Go with me to dinner. Talk to me about everything. Give me a chance to love you.”
I threw my hands in the air. “I don’t do that. I don’t do relationships. I don’t do dating. I don’t do love.”
He glanced at me, his eyes calm. “You love more deeply than anyone I’ve ever met. Do you know why?” He took another step towards me. “Because you have a greater soul than anyone else I’ve ever met.”
“Soul?”
“Soul. You don’t want me to love you, but you’ll let me want you. I want you. I’m going to take you how I want to take you, and you’ll know a little bit of me, who I am, what I want, without any reservation. Is that okay with you?”
I swallowed. “Only if you take off my shoes.”
He grinned and shook his head. “No reservations. If you want to know my desire for you…”
I nodded.
He swept me into his arms and carried me to the couch. The shoes stayed on for a long time, but when they came off, it was in pieces. Can you be gently ravage
d, consummately consumed, violently adored? Yes, you can. For a very long time.
When I could move again, I rolled to get off the couch, but his hand stopped me, gripping my hip with his strong fingers. There was so much raw strength in him. I shivered and not because he kept the AC high and I was wearing nothing but my wedding ring. The horse teddy was shredded. I nudged it with my toe.
“Stay with me,” he growled.
I covered his hand with mine. “Let go or I’ll break your fingers.”
He nibbled on my shoulder. “Break them. Stay with me tonight. I want you in the morning.”
I swallowed. “You can’t know what you’ll want in the future.”
“I’ve wanted you every morning for the last four years since you moved into my hotel. Stay.”
I took a deep breath and gripped the pressure points in his wrist so his fingers relaxed. I slipped off the couch and walked over to my coat. It was luxurious fine wool. I fingered it as I faced away from him. Fur would be even better. A floor length fur coat would cost thousands of dollars. I was going to buy enough to carpet his living room. And he was going to pay for them. I wasn’t going to shop sales either.
I glanced over my shoulder at him. He was still on the couch, scowling while he glared at me. It’s how he looked when Nix beat his team. He’d asked me to stay and I’d turned him down. He’d never asked before. My heart ached and I felt pulled towards him, but instead, I whirled around and went out the door, barely getting the coat closed before I stepped into the hall, barefoot, utterly mussed, and still far too shivery.
The next day I went shopping. I went to the fur section and bought everything they had, charging Horse’s hotel. He owned the hotel. It was irritating to think that I’d been paying him rent all these years. Not that there was anything wrong with the rooms. Everyone knew that maintenance at his hotel was the best in town. Because he had a high standard, of course it would be immaculate.
That night, I didn’t go directly to his room. I went to the garage to hotwire his bike instead. Patsy roared beneath me and the nothing I wore besides the boots and fur coat. She was so pretty. I drove it out of the garage then around to the front entrance. I drove slow so everyone could get out of my way. The top few buttons weren’t done, so there was a lot of shoulder and leg visible beneath the fur. People took pictures as I drove through the lobby to the elevator. The concierge only tipped his hat and wished me a good evening. Oh, it would be.