Yeah, but I needed to make her believe otherwise. “The wrecked bikes are spread out all over the place, and the people are gathered in small groups.”
Bash walked away from the truck and gave me a grim look. My stomach sank as I realized what he’d likely done, but I couldn’t think about it.
Connie had gathered all the clothes without people in them, and was down the road and in the woods. I heard Gabby and Horse talking to her, so I assumed they were getting dressed. Slick was still missing. Dozer was back and dressed. Duke had gathered as many water bottles as he could find in an effort to dilute the blood on the asphalt, because a few people had been hurt badly and only survived because they’d changed.
The nurse went to the truck, but I turned my attention to Matty. I needed to fix what I could and put the rest out of my mind.
My boy stoically ignored what had to be terrible pain while I cleaned his arm with wipes, and he kept up a strained conversation with Gen and Angelica. He learned that Gen’s human, and Angelica explained how supernaturals can only tell their own secrets and not anyone else’s, so she couldn’t tell him what other people were.
“Someone’s a rabbit, and some kind of bear. Or a Sasquatch, I guess. I saw wolves too.”
“You don’t have a head injury,” said Gen. “Or if you do, it isn’t what made you see things.”
He gave a little gasp when I used a folded corner of the Betadine wipe to extract some grass from an especially eaten-up part of his arm, but he didn’t move, and his voice barely gave away the stress of his pain. “I always thought Gabby looked like Jessica Rabbit. Razor told me Horse got his name ‘cause he’s hung like one. Are there horse shifters?”
“Not our secret to tell,” said Angelica, “but Horse’s name is because of his cock.”
“Viper told me he’s a snake,” said Matty. He looked at me and asked, “Bobcat?”
“I’m a damned raven, boy. I can’t do a partial change like Angelica, and I can’t do a total one right now with other people around, but you need to let it sink in.” Because I was going to lose my mind if I didn’t get more feedback from him. He was hurting from the crash, and not in shock but in a daze, and he acted like finding out there were shapeshifters wasn’t a huge deal. It’s normal to be in a survival mode after this kind of trauma, but he was way too fucking calm.
“A raven’s like, a great big crow, right? Really smart? Makes sense. Can I see you change? I mean, I know I can’t now, but later?”
His face didn’t show disgust. Shock, perhaps. Mostly, I saw acceptance — but he hadn’t had time to think it through yet. Also, he was in pain and trying to hide it, and that was mostly what I saw in his face. He could be disgusted and I might not know.
“Yeah, you can see it later.” Maybe then I’d see how he really felt.
“Could you make me one? So we could fly together?”
I shook my head. “Ravens are born, not made.” Why wasn’t he freaking the fuck out?
“Do you have to fight your inner animal for control? I’ve never sensed there are two of you.”
“Wolves do,” said Angelica, “but I understand it’s different for ravens.” She shrugged. “He’s smarter than most of us in animal form, and can even talk enough to be understood. My wolf can’t do math even a little, but Razor’s bird has no problem with addition and subtraction, and even simple multiplication and division.”
“Ravens are one of the smartest life forms on the planet, right up there with humans and dolphins,” I told Matty. “My raven has opinions and I trust his instincts, and I don’t have to push him down and keep him from attacking people who stare at us — like I understand the wolves do.”
“New wolves?” said Angelica. “Yeah, don’t openly challenge them or they could lose control. Everyone you’ll be around has learned to control their animal, though we have one new-ish wolf we still keep an eye on.”
Connie had excellent control, but we were careful not to put her into bad situations. Gonzo had made her eat protein bars when she’d shifted to human after the wreck. We were all hungry, but Connie got all the food, so we could make sure she’d stay in control.
We’d have to be careful with Harmony for a while once she was changed, too. I couldn’t tell any of that to Matty though. Only Connie and Harmony could.
The nurse headed back to us, and I warned Matty, “Be quiet. Human approaching.”
“You were right to be worried about the truck driver,” the nurse told me, her voice emotionless though her face told another story. “He’s dead. I’ve let the nine-one-one operator know we need one ambulance as quickly as possible, but the other can take its time.”
I put the Betadine wipe down, reasonably sure I had as much of the debris out I’d be able to do roadside, and began the process of bandaging. The nurse tore medical tape and handed it to me, and I fashioned a makeshift sling when we finished.
“I need a cold pack again, please?” Matty asked.
“Yeah. We can do that.”
It didn’t take much to wrap it over the top of the bandages, and his entire body relaxed once we were finished. “Thanks for taking care of me.” He didn’t add the daddy verbally, but I saw it in his eyes, and I suddenly had to look down and blink so no one would see the emotions that slammed into me hard enough to take my breath. I could’ve lost my boy, but he was safe, and he loved me. All of me, apparently. Even my raven.
“I love you, boy.”
I’d never said it before, but it was beyond time I told him.
Matty met my gaze and didn’t care who heard. “I love you too, Daddy.”
Neither Angelica or Gen seemed bothered by hearing him call me Daddy, which was a relief even though I expected they’d probably be fine with it. Gen’s brother’s in a foursome, and Angelica regularly has sex with her husband and Dawg at the same time. They’ve both accepted sex can work in ways other than one-man-and-one-woman.
And they’d both gone out of their way to make my boy feel like the RTMC is his family.
The nurse, on the other hand, looked as if she was about to be sick.
“Thanks for helping me take care of Matty,” I told her. “If there’s a detour you can take to get wherever you’re going, I think it’s probably safe for you to leave. I’m about to go check on Harmony again, but I assume Brain and Eric have everything under control. Brain’s a genius, and Eric’s had wilderness first responder training.”
She left in a huff, and I looked to Gen and Angelica. “Thanks for making him feel like part of the family. It means the world to me.”
Something was off about Gen’s expression, and I looked her over. “We need to get you out of your leathers,” I told her. “What hurts?”
“It’s just my old injury bitching about being disturbed,” she said. “I wouldn’t turn down a cold pack. Duke played Superman and steered us so we didn’t hit the truck, and then grabbed me as he jumped off the bike before it hit the wall. It was still a fast stop, and his arm wrapped around…” She rubbed her thigh. “I’m okay, just tender.”
“Okay enough to take them off, or shall I cut them off?” Because leaving them on wasn’t an option. I needed to see the injury to be sure she was okay.
“Duke’s in the woods gathering those who changed and ran away,” Angelica told Gen. “Let us take care of you. Razor’s right — I can smell your pain now that he’s mentioned it, and I’m not overwhelmed by Matty’s pain anymore. Let us take a look.”
“I can take them off, but I need a blanket or something. I’m not like ya’ll — I don’t like being naked in front of people.”
“You’ll have your underwear on,” said Angelica. “It’s like being in a bathing suit. No big deal.”
Gen glared at her, and I pulled a mylar blanket from my first aid kit. “Here. It’s thin and flimsy, but it’ll do the trick. Let Angelica help you. If I sense a great deal of pain, I’m cutting them off no matter what you say.”
Chapter 16
Matty
* * *<
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We rode back to the clubhouse in the Drake Security van. Duke, Bash, and Angelica went with Brain and Harmony to do whatever had to happen to turn her into a werewolf. Gen rode with us, the mylar blanket around her waist like a skirt. Daddy said she’d need an x-ray to see what was going on in her leg, but he was pretty sure nothing was broken. Apparently, he can see the blood pumping along the skin and it tells him if there’s a problem deeper.
I needed to learn everything I could about ravens, so I could know more about my daddy.
I hated riding on the back of my bike between the clubhouse and Daddy’s house, but no way was Daddy going to ride bitch, and his bike was going straight to the shop. I didn’t think it was fixable, but they could probably put the engine on a frame that wasn’t bent to shit and back. Maybe.
Besides, my arm felt best in the sling, and riding one-handed doesn’t work so well. Daddy took it easy, so I was good with just one arm around him. We only had a few miles to go, anyway.
Almost as soon as we were in the door, he was cutting my shirt with safety scissors before I could stop him. What had been the point of using the wipes instead of the squirter bottle if he was going to cut my clothes off?
“I like these jeans.” I told him. “Please don’t cut them off.”
He nodded, and helped me get out of my boots and jeans once the shirt was off. He removed the bandages and walked me to the shower so he could use the hand-held unit to clean my arm again. More stuff on it, bandages to cover it again, and it went back into the sling.
Daddy took his time checking the rest of me over before he walked me to the living room, stood me in front of the sofa, and sat in front of me.
“Interrogation. Your good arm behind you, the other can stay relaxed in the sling.”
He was all business, so I dropped to my knees and maneuvered so my balls rested on his boot without arguing.
“I haven’t drilled you about Cam, but I need to know why you dislike him so much.”
Well, that seemed to come out of nowhere, but I answered as best I could. “He’s a diva who thinks he’s better than everyone else. I don’t like his kind.”
“A partial truth. Give me the rest.”
I glared at him. “He’s this great dancer, and the perfect slave with the perfect Masters, and his own built-in best girlfriend, and everyone wants him to do their graphics. It’s like he hung the moon or something. He can’t come down to earth to be friends with us mere mortals.”
Daddy sat back and crossed his arms. “He does the club’s graphics. You get pissed off every time you see me in my uniform, and you pitched a fit about wearing the uniform for class.” He sighed and leaned forward. “Cam’s done our advertising for years, Matty. I know you have experience, but you aren’t working in advertising anymore. I’ll try to come to you for anything else for the self-defense stuff, but I don’t have a say in the rest. We didn’t snub you. He’s our ad guy and has been a long time.”
I stared at the floor and considered my feelings. Was I being a jealous little bitch? Fuck. Yeah, I was.
“I’m sorry, Daddy. I don’t think I realized what was bothering me.”
“You knew you were pissed about the shirts.”
I nodded but still didn’t look at him.
“I was waiting for you to tell me the problem, but you never did.”
“You never asked.”
“So, you’re saying I have to ask what’s wrong or you won’t tell me?”
I opened my mouth to respond, but he didn’t give me a chance. “Think carefully about how you answer, Matty. Little boys have to be honest with their daddy about their feelings, even when it isn’t easy.”
“I’m sorry, Daddy. I’m supposed to tell you when something’s wrong. Please don’t punish me.”
He sighed. “I’ll take your request under consideration. Ready for the next set of questions?”
I took a breath and met his gaze. My thighs were beginning to burn in this position, but I didn’t dare move until he released me. “Yes, Daddy.”
“Why aren’t you freaking out? You just found out werewolves and other shapeshifters are real. You’re too calm.”
“It wasn’t the time or place to freak out.”
He looked at me a few seconds and gave a tiny nod. “The little gay boy learned not to show pain when he wrecked — not if he wanted his pop’s approval.”
“That, and it kept the other racers from intentionally wrecking me as much. I fought back and was more aggressive than them if they went after me, so they stopped coming after me.” I shrugged and it hurt, but I ignored the pain. “And if one of them wrecked me, I never let them see me cry, no matter how bad it hurt.”
“And you found out about werewolves and raven shifters while you were dealing with the pain of a wreck.”
He lowered the toe of his boot and slid his foot out from under me. “At ease, but don’t rise.”
I sat back on my feet and brought my good hand around front. Daddy took his boots off, stood, and stripped with efficiency. I went hard watching him, though I could tell by his actions this wasn’t about sex.
“Stay where you are. Understood?”
I nodded, and he shrank down to the size of a large bird before I was ready to deal with it. I rose a few inches because my instinct was to run, but I quickly rested my weight back on my feet. My entire body had gone stiff as a statue, and I blew out a breath and forced my muscles to relax.
“Can you understand me?” I asked.
The magnificent, beautiful black bird nodded its head. His head. This was my daddy? Damn.
“I wish I could see you fly.”
The raven hopped two steps closer to me, leaned forward, and slowly opened his wings. Standing, he’d been maybe two and a half feet tall, but his wingspan had to be close to five feet wide.
“That’s what you look like when you fly? Wow, you can understand me. What’s six times four?”
The bird folded his wings, tapped one foot twice and the other four times. Twenty-four. Fuck me.
“I don’t know what to do with this,” I told him. “I mean, it doesn’t change anything. Does it? You’re still my daddy, and it isn’t like you’re going to give me bird flu or anything. Right?”
The bird morphed back into Daddy, and he sat on the floor and laughed. “Bird flu? Really, Matty? That’s where you went with it?”
I shrugged my good shoulder. “It doesn’t change anything, does it?”
“No one I’ve ever dated has known what I am. None of my human friends ever knew. I’m not sure what to do with it either.”
We looked at each other a few seconds, and he said, “I can’t catch diseases, so condoms aren’t necessary unless I go in someone and then go in you. I can pass it on if it’s still on my dick, but once I take a shower and it’s gone, I can’t give you anything.”
“Okay, so that changes my rules about condoms if you play with someone else, but that’ll actually make things better. Right?”
“My sense of smell is better than yours but not even close to a wolf’s. However, my hearing is similar to theirs, and my eyesight is extraordinary. I can pick out patterns, and I see micro-expressions as if someone is shouting to me how they feel.”
“That’s how you know when I’m telling the truth?”
He nodded. “Most of the other shifters can smell a lie, or pain, or joy, or whatever. I see it. I see more contrast than you, and I can see magnetic fields. Mostly though, it’s that my brain recognizes patterns in everything. Especially when something breaks the pattern. Part of the reason I can fight so well in human form is because I pick up on the patterns of my opponent.”
“How much time do you spend as a bird?”
“Depends. I might go a few weeks without flying, and then might spend a few hours every day flying around and taking in my territory. Ravens aren’t indigenous to Tennessee, but most people can’t tell the difference between a raven and a crow, so it’s generally safe for me to be seen. I try not to land whe
re a human can get a picture of me, but I’m not worried about them getting a picture or video of me flying.”
“So, wolves can’t just change and run around the city, but a rattlesnake can?”
“You’re really okay with this?”
“Honestly? I’m a little ticked you’ve kept something this big from me. When were you going to tell me?”
He didn’t say anything, and I suddenly understood. “You weren’t going to tell me!”
“I’ve never told anyone, Matty. With most of the ol’ladies in the club knowing, I’d have possibly told you eventually, but I hadn’t planned to do it anytime soon. Wolves tell their significant others, but ravens just don’t. My dad still doesn’t know my mom and I are birds, and they’ve been married fifty years.”
“He should know.”
Daddy shook his head. “Maybe he should’ve, but he can’t find out now. The point is, I was raised to keep the secret. This feels wrong, and yet I like knowing you’ve accepted all of me. No human ever has. Or, none who loved me. I mean, Gen and Harmony accept me and they know what I am, but only because one of the stipulations of me coming to town was that I tell the human ol’ladies what I am.”
“So, no human has ever been given a chance to love all of you? Not even your dad?”
“There’s a ritual that has to happen. The wolves could do it, but I can’t, which might be one of the reasons ravens aren’t in the habit of telling people. Anyway, there’s someone in town I trust, and he’s kind of the top person to handle this.”
He’d avoided my question, but I let him. For now. “You aren’t making sense, Daddy. What has to happen?”
“Humans who know about supernaturals have to do this oath thing, so they can’t tell our secrets. I can’t let you out of my sight until it’s happened.”
“And if I don’t do the oath?”
“There’s someone who can erase your memory of ever being told in the first place.”
My stomach went into my throat and I thought I’d be sick. My memories are mine. No one can fuck with them. Ever.
Razor: Rolling Thunder Motorcycle Club, Book 11 Page 12