With a different district attorney, the cash and self-destructing laptop might’ve been enough to drag someone in on charges just to try to make them talk, but I didn’t go there.
This conversation was important, because a boy needs to respect his Daddy. If I lost his respect, I’d lose him, and that couldn’t happen. “You need to know we treat the girls right. No one gets rough with them unless the girls agree to it and are paid extra for it. You know how good our hearing is — if we hear something happening that we shouldn’t, the john leaves with injuries. Everyone knows you treat our girls with respect.”
Matty uncrossed his arms. Crossed them back. “Okay.”
“That’s it? Just okay?”
“Yeah. I’d worried ya’ll sold drugs, or extorted businesses. You know, took out their kneecaps if they didn’t pay for protection. If the girls want to sell themselves and aren’t being forced, I have no problem with it. I wish it wasn’t illegal, but it isn’t so bad. I knew you were laundering money for something. It’s kind of a relief.” He shrugged and uncrossed his arm again. “Ya’ll weren’t at all worried about what they might find at the gun store. If you’re doing something illegal with guns, you aren’t doing it from there.”
“You’d have been okay with me selling drugs?”
“No, and deep down I knew you didn’t, but I worried.”
We probably should’ve had this conversation earlier, but I’d hoped to put it off forever. I should’ve at least asked him about it during interrogation, to see what was going through his head so I could put the drug thing to rest. But, opening up any questions at all might’ve created more, and I was hoping we could avoid the subject altogether. Still, now that it’d come up, I had to make sure I didn’t lie when I didn’t absolutely have to. Not even a lie by omission.
“In the interest of full disclosure,” I told him, “we have a few businesses who pay us for protection, and a few we provide protection for at no charge because of who they are. We don’t extort it from anyone, though. It just means the bad guys know we’ll tear them to pieces if they dare touch those businesses.”
“So, if you see someone breaking into a business while you’re patrolling, and they haven’t paid you… you don’t do anything?”
“We protect every business in our core territory, no matter what. The outer section, we’d protect most of them whether they’d paid or not. The ones who’ve paid, we patrol more often, and we’re tied into their alarm system. We can get there a whole helluva lot faster than the cops, and we’ll handle the situation in a more pleasing manner than the arrest-and-release plan the cops use for B&E.”
“Right, because you can beat the hell out of the robbers, and the police department tends to frown on that sort of thing.”
“You seem okay with this, but…” I sighed. “I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop.”
Matty
* * *
“No shoes. Nothing’s dropping.” I told Daddy. “Do you just have girls? Any guys?”
He laughed. “What do you think?”
“Okay then. You aren’t using them, so why should I worry?”
“I work protection at the hotel sometimes, especially around the full moon. There’s a chance I could get caught in a sting. I was brought in to help them launder money — if LEO decides they want to turn someone, they’ll possibly start the attempt with me. It’s one of the many reasons I had to be open with the guys about you from the beginning, so LEO had nothing to hold over my head. No secrets from my brothers.”
“It’s been nice, while Dozer was away.” I fiddled with the frayed part of my jeans, around a hole just above my knee. “I don’t want to go to the clubhouse for a while, now that he’s back.”
Daddy was silent for at least three minutes, but he finally said, “I’m disappointed. I didn’t think you’d be the type to back down.”
I shook my head. “It isn’t that. I saw how they thought of him when he was handling the cops. There’s always gonna be problems when he has to face the fact one of his brothers prefers men, and having me around just reminds him of it. He belongs. I’m an outsider.”
“That’s where you’re wrong. You have the respect of my brothers. You took on three huge men to protect the women you were with, and the fact you held your own on the track and fucking won? You’ve more than earned their respect. Not to mention, even without all that, just the fact you’re mine would make you part of the family.” He sighed. “I didn’t expect it, but the way you handled being belted went a long ways towards gaining their respect, too.” He glanced at me a second before looking back to the road. “While we’re on the subject — I’ll set up a time with our attorney. You need to meet with him and tell him what you’re comfortable telling the cops if you’re ever questioned about what you know. If you don’t want to lie, that’s fine, he’ll tell you what to say to keep from having to. If you’re good with a little fabricating, let him know and he’ll tell you what to say in that case, too. Either way is fine with me. No pressure, but since you know some shit, you need to know how to deal with LEO if they try to get something from you.”
I wouldn’t lie under oath, but I wasn’t opposed to stretching the truth when questioned if it would keep Daddy out of jail. I wasn’t finished with the other conversation yet though.
“I don’t want to be around Dozer.” I didn’t know how to say it any plainer.
“Tough shit. You’ve earned your spot in the clubhouse. He’s paid the price for what he did, and he’s back. Deal with it.”
“This isn’t a power exchange thing, Razor.” I crossed my arms. “I don’t want you to spank me and tell me to buck up. I want you to hear what I’m saying. I’m not comfortable around him. I don’t want to be around him.”
“I hear you, and now I want you to hear me. I thought you were the kind of man who’d defend your position, or at least let me defend it for you. I never saw you as a pussy-assed-quitter. You’ve earned your spot. If you don’t defend it, I’ll be disappointed in you.”
“That’s not fair.”
His hands gripped the steering wheel and I realized how he’d heard my words. “I’m not being a pansy-assed snowflake complaining life isn’t fair! I’m telling you that YOU aren’t treating me fairly! It’s like if I got pissed because you didn’t feel comfortable going to the opera every other day and having to dress up and hobnob with the other patrons! It wouldn’t be fair to who you are!”
“You’re saying the clubhouse isn’t who you are?”
“Fuck. No. I’m saying I’m not the kind of person who can deal with that kind of confrontation on a day-in and day-out basis. Never knowing if he’ll be there, never knowing when he might blow a fuse and go off. Life’s too short for that kind of stress. If I could stand up, defend my position, and make the problem go away, I would. But this is just going to go on forever. He’s always going to hate me.”
Daddy went through a neighborhood and headed home, and neither of us said anything during the ten minutes it took to return. Daddy waited until he’d turned the truck off in our driveway to say, “Three months. See how things go for three months, and if things aren’t better, we’ll talk to Duke, Brain, and Bash about a way to fix the problem. Trust me not to make you have to deal with this forever?”
I didn’t want to, but I didn’t see how I could tell him no. I crossed my arms. “I don’t want to, but I’ll try.”
“Good boy. Now, let’s get you inside. I think you’ve reached the end of whatever good you got out of last Tuesday night’s modified maintenance session.”
Razor
* * *
I’d given Matty a maintenance session before we left, but I hadn’t wanted to bruise his ass before the ride, so it was mostly CBT with a little nipple torture thrown in. He’d been ordered to jack himself off a minimum of four times a day during the trip, and to text me to let me know when he had. He’d managed the minimum every day, but hadn’t gone over. It made me wonder how many times I could get him off in a day, a
nd I decided to give it a try on our next lazy day at home.
We’d barely started creating our dungeon, but I’d set up one wall for maintenance, and most of our toys were in an old armoire Matty had seen and had to have for the room.
He’d mostly put himself into position when I entered the dungeon, and I only needed to lock his wrists to the grips, and his spreader bar to the eye-hook set into the floor.
I ran my hands from his shoulders to his ass, and all the way down the sides of his legs until I reached his ankles. While I was squatted behind him, I spread his ass cheeks and took a look at his hole. We’d fucked twice on the trip — a quickie both times. We’d also had to play it cool around the other clubs, so he hadn’t been in my arms nearly enough.
I stood beside him and stroked his back, and then fondled the chain around his hips. Mine. “Why are we doing this tonight, when we’re both exhausted, and not waiting until your regularly scheduled maintenance in two days?”
“Because I used your name in the truck?”
“No. The conversation in the truck was exactly what it needed to be. I always need you to level with me about your feelings — even when I don’t like them. You were respectful and mature. I’m proud of you for expressing your feelings.”
He blew out a breath. “Because I had to be your friend instead of your boy while we were gone.”
“Close. You’re always my boy, and don’t think for a moment I didn’t keep a close eye on you while you hung out with the ol’ladies.” I stepped behind him and jammed two fingers in his ass. “Missed this ass, and I’m gonna fuck you long and hard later, but first, you need your routine. Maintenance wasn’t right last week. This has become a ritual you need, and I couldn’t give it to you before the ride. You were perfect over the weekend so I won’t double up tonight, but you need this, Matty.”
He met my gaze in the mirror, raw need in his expression. “I know, Daddy. Thank you for caring enough to give it to me.”
“Always, sweet boy.”
Chapter 26
Matty
* * *
I went straight to the clubhouse from work Friday. My ass and thighs were deliciously sore — a combination of the maintenance Tuesday, and another regular session the night before, to get us back on schedule. Also, my asshole was raw because Daddy seemed to be making up for all the lost fucks he didn’t get during the trip, but I wasn’t complaining about any of it. I belonged to my Daddy, and I’d never felt more loved.
I’d reminded Daddy that morning about how I was nervous to see Dozer, and he’d promised to stay close to me tonight. It would have to be enough.
I hadn’t seen Dozer since he’d had to leave over three months ago, and Daddy seemed to think I’d be okay once I got past this first time. I wasn’t so sure, but this was important to Daddy, so I’d do it. He doesn’t ask for much from me, and he does stuff for me all the time.
I knew Gen was showing properties, Bethany was at work, and Angelica wasn’t here yet. Connie wasn’t coming tonight. Tippy was supposed to be there, but I didn’t see her, either. It was just me, without backup. Well, Daddy was supposed to be backup, but it wasn’t the same as having the ol’ladies at my back.
He’d put a slightly smaller steel cock-ring on me earlier, to make sure I remembered he was my Daddy and had me in his hands. It helped, but it was still hard to walk into the clubhouse without knowing who’d be inside.
“Matty-Matt, come look!” Dawg said from one of the sofas. “Someone put together a compilation of all your jumps! It’s cool as fuck!”
I looked around and didn’t see Daddy. “Where’s Razor?” I didn’t see Dozer, either, but Daddy was supposed to be here.
“Had to handle an issue. He’ll be back soon.”
I shook my head. “I think I’ll go home. I’ll text him and let him know.” He wouldn’t see it until he was finished with whatever he was doing. Handling an issue meant some kind of club business, and they usually left their phones at the clubhouse for that sort of thing.
“I think he wants you to stay here.” Dawg stood and faced me. “He told me to stick close to you until he got here.”
Fear grabbed my gut, but I tried to play it off. “I won’t go home then. I’ll drive by a client’s property and see how construction’s going. Maybe he’ll be finished by the time I get back.”
Dawg walked to me, put his arm around me, and walked me through the room. “Come with me. I don’t know why you’re scared, but this is a safe place. Let’s figure this out.”
I froze when we neared the door to Duke’s office, but he ushered me through, asking Duke. “Do you smell this?”
Duke looked up from some paperwork and inhaled. “What’s up, Matty?”
“Nothing,” I lied. “Razor isn’t here, so I was going to go and come back later.”
Dawg closed the door behind us and crossed his arms over his chest. “The idea of being here without Razor terrified him.”
Duke narrowed his eyes and seemed to look me over from head to toe. I was still in my work clothes, but even if I’d been in jeans, it would’ve creeped me out. He seemed to see inside me. Like, his wolf could see shit the human couldn’t.
“You were fine with us in Vegas when Razor wasn’t around. What gives?”
I shrugged and looked down.
“Has he seen Dozer since he’s been back?” Dawg asked.
Fear grabbed my bowels and I thought I might be sick.
“Fuck, I don’t think he has. Is that it, Matty?”
I shrugged, but didn’t look up.
“You’re safe here,” said Duke. “You’re aware Dozer had to leave because of his actions. He isn’t going to fuck up again because the club means too much to him to risk losing it over his temper. The situation was handled. It’s over now.”
“And if there was a six hundred pound gay guy who hated you because you’re straight, and you were about to come face to face with him and his six hundred pound friends, how would you feel?” I countered.
“He has a point,” said Dawg. “Dozer weighs at least three times what Matty does, plus he’s a wolf. We’ve told him he’s safe, how do we show him?”
Duke rubbed his eyes and leaned back in his chair. “I’m not big on having to prove myself, Matty. You’re safe here. Dozer was an ass and we handled it. We haven’t done anything to show you we won’t keep you safe.”
“Except not keep me safe when you’d promised before!”
I regretted the words as they left my mouth, but my temper pushed them out before I could stop. Duke’s always scared me, and now I’d pissed him off. Wolf eyes looked out of his human face, and if I’d had any food on my stomach, I’d have puked. Dawg put his arm around me again. “Duke, dude. You’re scaring him worse. He’s right and you know it. Don’t take it as a personal insult. I was going to suggest he hang out on your sofa and play video games, but you just scared him shitless, so I guess I need another plan.” He sighed. “I’ll take you to Razor’s room. You can lock the door and hang out in there. I don’t think you should go home. He wants you here when he gets back.”
“I’m sorry,” I told Duke. “I’ve never done well with conflict. I avoid it when I can, and when I can’t, I mouth off. I wanted to just stay away, but Razor wants me here. It’s important to him, so I want to do it, but I’m scared. I’m sorry I’m scared. I can’t help it.”
He closed his eyes, sighed, and opened them. “Okay. I’m sorry I scared you worse. I have some phone calls to make, so hanging out in here isn’t an option.” He looked at Dawg. “Who’s here?”
“Just me. Paco’s on the way. Everyone left to…” He trailed off. “I’m taking an hour break while things are slow across the street. Gonzo said he’d let me know when they needed me to come back.”
“Why don’t the two of you play video games in the conference room until Razor gets back. Text him to let him know where you are. Lock the door so no one can come in. If Gonzo calls you back before Razor returns, let me know before you leave.
”
We went to the conference room, but instead of playing games, Dawg showed me the stuff he’d found on YouTube, and on a few of the dirt-bike boards. The compilation of all my jumps kicked ass, but Dawg froze it as I was landing from one of them.
“You land hard here, and it took you a few laps to make up the seconds it cost you.”
I rotated my left wrist at the memory. “Yeah. That’s what the three races this year were for, to give me some actual racing time, so I could work through the amateur crap before I go for a title run next year.”
“You miss my point. It took sheer force of will, and some hellacious strength, to stay on two wheels during that landing, and to keep from face-planting into the bike, or the ground. You manhandled more than two hundred pounds of machine through god knows what kind of g-forces, and then you made up the time and went from third back into first in just a few laps. How can you be such a bad-ass on the track, and so afraid of Dozer now? I think that’s what threw Duke off. I know it caught me by surprise.”
“What happens if Dozer catches me alone? But, that isn’t what worries me the most. I mean, I know I mouth off when I get scared, and I don’t want to embarrass Daddy, but mostly, Dozer just terrifies me. I can’t help it.” I shrugged. “I get pissed off just thinking of him. I’m sure it’ll show in my face when I see him. What if I’m the one to instigate a fight? Ya’ll aren’t going to protect me then, but I’m not sure I can keep a neutral face around him.”
“Then don’t look at him.”
I considered the suggestion. Could it be that easy? If Dozer wanted to avoid me too, it might be. “Okay. I’ll try.” It wouldn’t work if Dozer was itching for a fight, but Duke seemed to think he’d try to behave after his suspension. I had to hope Duke was right.
Dawg switched us over to a first-person shooter game, and the rest of our conversation was game related.
Razor: Rolling Thunder Motorcycle Club, Book 11 Page 22