“Oh, that’s too horrible!”
“Sick and terrified, I went among the men who were dancing about the feast they were ready to devour, and, assuming a boldness I did not feel, commanded them to desist. The king was bewildered at first, then chagrined, but as I threatened him ferociously—”
“I should have enjoyed seeing you ferocious.”
“He called the brutes away and then I gave orders to have every one of the bodies buried. For several days after that, however, the men were morose and ugly looking, and I am sure it was hard for them to submit to such a radical change.”
“Talk about missionaries! You are a wonder!”
“I could not have done it as a missionary, Mr. Ridgeway. It was necessary for me to exert my authority as a goddess.”
“And so they are cannibals,” he mused, still looking at her spirited face.
“Just think what might have happened to us,” she said.
That night as he lay on his couch he was forced to admit that the inconsolable grief that had borne down so heavily upon him at first was almost a part of the past. The pain inspired by the loss of a loved one was being mysteriously eased. He was finding pleasure in a world that had been dark and drear a few short months before. He was dimly conscious of a feeling that the companionship of Tennys Huntingford was beginning to wreak disaster to a supposedly impregnable constancy.
Tears came to his eyes as he murmured the name of the girl who had sailed so blithely from New York with his love as her only haven. He called himself the basest of wretches, the most graceless of lovers. He sobbed aloud at last in his penitence, and his heart went back to the night of the wreck. His love went down to the bottom of the sea, craving a single chance to redeem itself before the one it had wounded and humiliated. Before he fell asleep his conscience was relieved of part of its weight and the strong, sweet face of Grace Vernon passed from his vivid thoughts into vague dreams.
In the next apartment tranquilly slept the disturber, the trespasser in the fields of memory, the undoer of a long-wrought love. He had tried to learn the way to her heart, wondering if she cared for him as he had more than once suspected. In pursuing this hazardous investigation he had learned nothing, had seen nothing but perfect frankness and innocence, but had become more deeply interested than he knew until this night of recapitulation.
One night, two or three after he had thrown off the delirium, he heard her praying in her room, softly, earnestly. Of that prayer one plea remained in his memory long after her death: “Oh, God, save the soul of Grace Vernon. Give to her the fulness of Thy love. If she be still alive, protect and keep her safe until in Thy goodness she may be restored to him who mourns for her. Save and bless Hugh Ridgeway.”
The days and weeks went by and Hugh grew well and strong. To Tennys he was not the same Hugh as of old. She perceived a change and wondered. One day at sundown he sat moodily in front of the temple. She was lying in the hammock near by. There had been one of the long, and to her inexplicable, silences. He felt that her eyes were upon him and knew that they were wistful and perplexed.
Try as he would, he could not keep his own eyes in leash; something irresistible made him lift them to meet her gaze. For a moment they looked at each other in a mute search for something neither was able to describe. He could not hold out against the pleading, troubled, questioning eyes, bent so solemnly upon his own. The wounds in her heart, because of his indifference, strange and unaccountable to her, gaped in those blue orbs.
A tremendous revulsion of feeling took possession of him; what he had been subduing for weeks gained supremacy in an instant. He half rose to his feet as if to rush over and crush her in his arms, but a mightier power than his emotion held him back. That same unseen, mysterious power compelled him to turn about and almost run from the temple, leaving her chilled and distressed by his action. The power that checked him was Memory.
She was deeply hurt by this last impulsive exhibition of disregard. A bewildering sense of loneliness oppressed her. He despised her! All the world grew black for her. All the light went out of her heart. He despised her! There was a faintness in her knees when she essayed to arise from the hammock. A little cry of anguish left her lips; a hunted, friendless look came into her eyes.
Staggering to the end of the temple, she looked in the direction he had taken. Far down the line of hills she saw him standing on a little elevation, his back toward her, his face to the river. Some strong influence drew her to him. Out of this influence grew the wild, unquenchable desire to understand. Hardly realizing what she did, she hurried through the growing dusk toward the motionless figure. As she came nearer a strange timidity, an embarrassment she had never felt before, seized upon her and her footsteps slackened.
He had not seen her. A panicky inclination to fly back to the temple came over her. In her heart welled a feeling of resentment. Had he any right to forget what she had done for him?
He heard her, turned swiftly, and—trembled in every joint. They were but a few paces apart and she was looking unwaveringly into his eyes.
“I have followed you out here to ask why you treat me so cruelly,” she said after a long silence which she Bought to break but could not. He distinguished in this pathetic command, meant to be firm and positive, the tremor of tears.
“I—I do not treat you cruelly, Tennys,” he answered disjointly, still looking at the slight, graceful figure, as if unable to withdraw his eyes.
“What do you call it?” she asked bitterly.
“You wrong me—” he began.
“Wrong you? No, I do not. You saved me from the sea and you have done much for me until within the past few weeks. I had begun to forget that I am here because fate substituted me for another. Hugh, do not let your love for Grace and your regret at not having saved her turn you against me. I am not here because I could have helped it. You must know that I—”
“For Heaven’s sake, Tennys, don’t talk like that! The trouble is that I do not regret having saved you. That’s why you see the change in me—that’s why I’ve hurt you. I cannot be to you what I would be—I cannot and be true to myself,” he cried fiercely.
“What do you mean? Why are you so unhappy, Hugh? Have I hurt you?’ she asked, coming quite close in sudden compassion.
“Hurt me!” he exclaimed. “You will kill me!” She paled with the thought that he was delirious again or crazed from the effects of the fever.
“Don’t say that, Hugh. I care more for you than for any one in the world. Why should I hurt you?” she asked tenderly, completely misunderstanding him.
“You don’t mean to, but you do. I have tried to conquer it but I cannot. Don’t you know why I have forced myself to be unhappy during the past few weeks? Can’t you see why I am making you unhappy, too, in my struggle to beat down the something that has driven everything else out of my mind?”
“Don’t talk so, Hugh; it will be all right. Come home now and I will give you some wine and put some cool bandages on your head. You are not well.” She was so gentle, so unsuspecting that he could contain himself no longer.
“I love you—I worship you! That is why I am cruel to you!” he burst out. A weakness assailed him and he leaned dizzily against the tree at his side. He dared not look at her, but he marvelled at her silence. If she loved him, as he believed, why was she so quiet, so still?
“Do you know what you say?” she asked slowly.
“I have said it to myself a thousand times since I left you at the temple. I did not intend to tell you; I had sworn you should never know it. What do you think of me?”
“I thought you called it love that sent you to Manila,” she said wonderingly, wounding without malice.
“It was love, I say. I loved her better than all the world and I have not forgotten her. She will always be as dear to me as she was on the night I lost her. You have not taken her place. You have gone farther and inspired a love that is new, strange, overpowering—infinitely greater, far different from the love I had kn
own before. She was never to me what you are. That is what drives me mad—mad, do you hear? I have simply been overwhelmed by it.”
“I must be dreaming,” she murmured.
“I have tried to hide it from myself, but it has broken down all barriers and floods the world for me.”
“It is because we are here alone in this island—”
“No, no! Not that, I swear. It would have come sooner or later.”
“You are not like other men. I have not thought of you as I see you now. I cannot understand being loved by you. It hurts me to see that you are in earnest. Oh, Hugh, how sorry I am,” she cried, laying her hand upon his arm. His heart dropped like lead. He saw that he had been mistaken—she did not love him.
“You are learning that I am not the harlequin after all,” he said bitterly.
“There is no one in all the world so good and strong and true.”
“You—you will love me?”
“You must not ask that of me. I am still Lady Huntingford, a wife for all we know. Yet if I loved you, I would tell you so. Have I not told you that I cannot love? I have never loved. I never shall. Don’t look like that, Hugh. I would to God I could love you,” she exclaimed. His chin had sunk upon his breast and his whole body relaxed through sheer dejection.
“I’ll make you love me!” he cried after a moment’s misery in the depths, his spirits leaping high with the quick recoil. His eager hands seized her shoulders and drew her close, so close that their bodies touched and his impassioned eyes were within a few inches of hers of startled blue. “I’ll make you love me!”
“Please let me go. Please, Hugh,” she murmured faintly.
“You must—you shall love me! I cannot live without you. I’ll have you whether you will or no,” he whispered fiercely.
She did not draw back, but looked him fairly in the eye as she spoke coldly, calmly, even with a sneer.
“You are master here and I am but a helpless woman. Would you force me to forget that you have been my ideal man?”
“Tennys!” he cried, falling back suddenly. “You don’t think I would harm you—oh, you know I didn’t mean that! What must you think of me?”
He put his hand over his eyes as if in deep pain, and, turning away, leaned against the tree unsteadily. With his first words, his first expression, she knew she had wronged him. A glad rush of blood to her heart set it throbbing violently.
She could not have explained the thrill that went through her when he grasped her shoulders, nor could she any more define the peculiar joy that came when she took a step forward and placed her hands gently, timidly on his arm.
“Forgive me, Hugh, I must have been mad to say what I did. You are too noble—too good—” she began in a pleading little quaver.
“I knew you couldn’t mean it,” he exclaimed, facing her joyously. “How beautiful you are!” he added impetuously. He was looking down, into that penitent face and the cry was involuntary. She smiled faintly and he raised his arms as if to clasp her to his breast, come what may. The smile lingered, yet his arms dropped to his sides. She had not moved, had not taken her eyes from his, but there was an unrelenting command in the soft words she uttered. “Be careful. I am always to trust you, Hugh.” He bowed his head and they walked slowly homeward.
CHAPTER XXIX
THE OTHER SURRENDER
The first few days and nights after this episode found Ridgeway despairing and unhappy, but as time removed the sting from defeat, his hopes began to flounder to the surface again, growing into a resolution, strong and arrogant. He devoted himself to her tenderly, thoughtfully, unreservedly. There was something subtle in his gallantry, something fascinating in his good humor, something in everything he did that attracted her more than it had before. She only knew that she was happy when with him and that he was unlike any man she had known.
There were times when she imagined that he was indifferent to the shock his pride had received at her hands, and at such times she was puzzled to find herself piqued and annoyed. A little gnawing pain kept her awake with these intermittent fears.
She became expert in the art of making garments from the woven grass. Her wardrobe contained some remarkable gowns, and his was enlarged by the addition of “Sunday trousers” and a set of shirt blouses. They wore sandals instead of shoes. Each had a pair of stockings, worn at the time of the wreck, but they were held in sacred disuse against the hoped-for day of deliverance.
One day, late in September, after the sun had banished the mists from the air and the dampness from the ground by a clear day’s process, they wandered down between the gateposts to the beach where they had first landed with Pootoo. The sun was sinking toward the water-line and they sat wistfully watching it pass into the sea. For nearly five months they had lived with the savages, for the greater portion not unhappily, but always with the expectation that some day a vessel would come to take them back to civilization.
“It has not been so unpleasant, after all, has it?” she asked. “We have been far more comfortable than we could have prayed for.”
“I should enjoy seeing a white man once in a while, though, and I’d give my head for this morning’s Chicago newspaper,” he answered rather glumly.
“I have been happier on this island than I ever was in my life. Isn’t it strange? Isn’t it queer that we have not gone mad with despair? But I, for one, have not suffered a single pang, except over the death of our loved ones.”
“Lord Huntingford included,” maliciously.
“That is unkind, Hugh. I am ashamed to say it, but I want to forget that he ever lived.”
“You will have plenty of time to forget all you ever knew before we die. We’ll spend the rest of our days in that nigger village back there. If I should die first I suppose you’d forget me in a week or so. It—”
“Why, Hugh! You know better than that! Why do you say such disagreeable things?”
“I’m not worth remembering very long,” he said lamely. She smiled and said the statement threw a different light on the question. Whereupon he did not know whether to laugh or scowl.
“This dear old island,” she cried, looking toward the great rocks lovingly. “Really, I should be sorry to leave it.”
“When the ship comes, I’ll go back to America, and you may remain here if you like and be the only Izor in the business.” He said it in jest, but she looked at him solemnly for a moment and then turned her eyes out to sea. She was reclining on her side, her hand supporting her head, her elbow in the sand. He sat five feet away, digging holes in the sand with an odd little walking stick. One of her sandalled feet protruded from beneath the hem of her garment, showing ever so little of the bare, white, fascinating ankle.
“I should despise the place if I had to live here a day without you,” she said simply.
“What do you mean?” She did not answer at once. When she did, it was earnestly and without the least embarrassment.
“Can’t I make you understand how much you are to me?” she asked without a blush. “You are the best, the noblest man I’ve ever known. I like you so well that I do not know how I could live if I did not have you to talk to, if I could not see you and be with you. Do you know what I did last night?”
He could only shake his head and tremble with the joy of feeling once more that she loved him and did not understand.
“I prayed that we might never be taken from the island,” she said hurriedly, as if expecting him to condemn her for the wish. He rolled over on his back, closed his eyes, and tried to control a joyous, leaping heart. “It was so foolish, you know, to pray for that, but I’ve been so contented and happy here, Hugh. Of course, I don’t expect we are to live here always. They will find us some day.” He opened his eyes and hazarded a glance at his face. She smiled and said, “I’m afraid they will.”
There was but the space of five feet between them. How he kept from bounding to her side and clasping her in his arms he never knew; he was in a daze of delight. So certain of her love was h
e now that, through some inexplicable impulse, he closed his eyes again and waited to hear more of the delicious confession.
“Then we shall leave the prettiest land in the world, a land where show and pomp are not to be found, where nature reigns without the touch of sham, and go back to a world where all is deceit, mockery, display. I love everything on this island,” she cried ecstatically. He said nothing, so she continued: “I may be an exile forever, but I feel richer instead of poorer away off here in this unknown paradise. How glorious it is to be one’s self absolutely, at all times and in all places, without a thought of what the world may say. Here I am free, I am a part of nature.”
“Do you think you know yourself fully?” he asked as quietly as he could.
“Know myself?” she laughed. “Like a book.”
“Could you love this island if you were here alone?”
“Well, I—suppose—not,” she said, calculatively. “It would not be the same, you know.”
“Don’t you know why you feel as you do about this God-forsaken land, Tennys Huntingford?” he demanded, suddenly drawing very near to her, his burning eyes bent upon hers. “Don’t you know why you are happy here?” She was confused and disturbed by his manner. That same peculiar flutter of the heart she had felt weeks ago on the little knoll attacked her sharply.
“I—I—I’m sure—I am happy just because I am, I dare say,” she faltered, conscious of an imperative inclination to lower her eyes, but strangely unable to do so.
“You love this island because you love me,” he whispered in her ear.
“No, no! It is not that! Please don’t be foolish again, Hugh. You will make me very unhappy.”
“But you do love me. You love me, and you do not know it,” he said, thrilled with exultation. She looked at him wonderingly, a half scornful, half dubious smile flitting over her face.
“I will try to be patient with you. Don’t you think I know my own mind?” she asked.
The George Barr McCutcheon Megapack: 25 Classic Novels and Stories Page 185