by Angela Blake
“I miss you, all of you,” she said under her breath. “It’s not fair what happened, I know, and I know I could’ve dealt with things a lot better, but I can’t change that now. All I know is, I can’t go back. I hope you understand.”
She flopped onto the bed without bothering to fix her shirt, and with one hand splayed across the bed, and the other across her face, she drifted off into a deep nostalgic sleep.
Chapter Two
Claudia tried not to scowl as she made it through the usual morning check up with the girls. They usually spent the morning off, doing whatever their heart desires so long as they were back on time. Usually, Claudia and Sauri would check and make sure that everything was in order before they do. They had to make sure the girls were properly fed, well clothed, and groomed at all times.
They had very few rules at La Chambre De Plaisir, and what rules they did have, were meant to keep them and the women who lived here safe, and to make sure everyone got what they wanted out of the deal. It was, after all, a business, at the end of the day.
Her head felt like it was being nailed to the wall with a jack hammer while little people rummaged around for diamonds inside her skill, and she tried to ignore that as she focused on the task at hand. She had to make sure the last girl was good to go before she sent them off on the way. She sighed as she realized everything was good, and she dismissed the girls.
At 26, Claudia still kept in shape, and her French genes definitely helped her maintain that willowy figure that she was sure she would lose once she gave up tennis. Somehow, though she hadn’t. She still moved with the grace and finesse of an athlete which often drew the attention of many men in the room, but she never paid attention to them. Not even to flirt.
She was very conscious of the way she acted around men, lest she encouraged them, and in a place like this, you didn’t want to be misunderstood. There were times when she was tempted to break her vow to herself, her parents, and Andrew, but every time she thought about it, she would come down hard on that little voice inside her head and ignore it.
She was cursed, so she knew it was better to just keep her distance rather than risk going through even half of the pain she went through all over again.
Her refusal didn’t make the men ask any less, but it sure did make them more intrigued. They all wondered about the 26-year old beauty who was half French, half English, and seemed not to have the slightest bit of interest in men. What fueled the fire even more was that she was a virgin.
A wry smile made its way to her face as she grabbed a book from her room, and made her way to the roof where she could get some peace and quiet for the next few hours as she lost herself in a book. She knew the rumors that circulated around her. That she was secretly a lesbian.
She found the rumors amusing if she were being honest, and it did keep some of the more vigorous clientele off her back, but most of them didn’t seem to care. They renewed their efforts all the time, and found new ways to pester her with their offers. It wasn’t that she wasn’t flattered. She truly was, but she just didn’t want to, and not because she wasn’t interested in men.
She was very interested, and the reason she was a virgin wasn’t for lack of trying either. It had nothing to do with that. It had to do with a secret that she had kept close to her heart for many years. A secret that felt like poison unfurling in her veins, shooting throughout her system and taking hold as it seeped through into her core.
She stopped in front of the heavy wooden door and grunted as the door creaked with the weight of being pushed open. She smiled as the first blast of fresh air hit her squarely in the face, and she inhaled deeply and sighed. She liked the smell of New York.
She knew a lot of people were bothered by it, the way it didn’t have a distinct smell like a lot of places, but she loved all the many different smells that intermingled together to form something else entirely. A smell that embodied everything her beloved New York represented.
She felt the sun beat on her back, and she rolled her arms back, attempting to let the tension slide off of her in waves as she headed towards the small hammock she kept up here for moments like this.
She kicked off her flip flops and hopped onto the hammock and shut her eyes. She felt the sun shine on her face, and she allowed it to warm every inch of her being as she allowed the stress of the previous week to simply melt away.
She began to swing herself back and forth on the hammock, the rhythmic movement helped lull her into a trance-like state as all the chatter in her brain finally died down. Her eyes fluttered open a while later, and she rummaged through her bag for a book. She produced it a while later, set the water with a straw inside of it next to her, and flipped open the book.
She allowed herself a moment to admire the smooth texture of the book, and the way the words felt in her hands. As if they had a life of their own, something that could not be contained within a certain amount of pages. She smiled, a secret, content sort of smile as she allowed her eyes to travel over the expanse of the page until she remembered what part she had stopped it.
Soon, Claudia was lost in the immersive world that Diana Gabaldon had created for her characters in Outlander, and everything else faded into mere background noise.
***
Claudia sighed as she realized that she had to leave behind 17th century Scotland and get back to reality. She stared into the distance for a few minutes allowing her mind to wander as she let it reel and mull over the events of the book.
She swung her legs over the side of the hammock and slipped her flip flops back on. The sun was just beginning to dip below the horizon, bathing the world in a halo of pink and orange. Claudia stood for a moment to admire the view, wondering how it was that the sun could paint the sky which such vivid strokes of color, yet it couldn’t infuse their mundane lives with such color. She supposed that it wasn’t so much about the actual blending of color than it was about what it represented: beauty and hope.
Those were two things that Claudia sorely lacked in her life. Not that she wasn’t surrounded by beauty day in and day out. Sure, the girls at the club were gorgeous in their own way, but she was thinking of a different kind of beauty. The kind of beauty that made you lay on your back at the beach and stare up at a night that was filled with a smattering of crystalline stars winking at you from an existence that had long since passed.
Claudia smiled ruefully to herself as she climbed down the stairs and back into the real world. She stopped by her room to drop off her book, and change into something a bit more daring for the night. She didn’t mind performing for the guys, it could actually be fun.
She slipped into a navy green, flouncy baby doll that showed off her legs, and she brushed her hair, so that it fell in loose curls down her back. She swiped on some mascara, a little blusher and red lipstick. She nodded at herself in the mirror and went off down the hallway to make sure the girls were ready for the night.
She found them all huddled in the corner of the room, giggling over something. She walked over to them, feeling a lot like a teacher at a school.
“Ladies, why are you all huddled around here giggling?”
“Claudia, haven’t you heard the news?” Chastity said as she excitedly rubbed her hands together. She could barely keep herself in check as she flounced with excitement. Chastity was one of their more popular girls. With her petite figure, dark hair, and big almond shaped eyes, she was what a lot of men liked to consider a delicate beauty. She was far from it of course, but she knew how to play to her strengths. She was also one of the funniest girls around, and one of the few people Claudia considered to be a friend besides Sauri.
“What news?” Claudia gave all the girls a once over to make sure they were all set, and then she smiled at them and nodded before she turned her attention back to Claudia.
“Archer Paisley is here,” Chastity announced amidst a series of giggles and sighs.
Claudia rolled her eyes and shook her head. Of course,
they were sighing over Archer Paisley. She knew him of course. His reputation preceded him everywhere he went. He was notorious for his unusual taste even in such circles, and for leaving a trail of broken hearted women in his wake wherever he ventured.
They said he was a shrewd lawyer, one of the best, that he was as rich as they came, and that he was sexy as hell. He had been to the club before, and he normally perused the women and said nothing, but he did try to hit on Claudia once or twice. She politely turned him down every single time, but he’d still come back and be more persistent than the time before. She felt nothing but pure disdain for this man who thought he was God’s gift to women.
Sure, he was attractive. She’d have to be blind not to see that. He had shaggy brown hair, and he was tall. With his toned physique, defined cheekbones, straight nose and symmetrical lips, he had very striking features. One that could definitely land him on the cover of any major men’s magazine. It was his eyes that she liked best though.
Blue eyes the color of rain after a thunderstorm. She had never seen such eyes before.
Yes, she did find Archer Paisley very attractive, but it was his arrogance that made him decidedly unattractive whenever he was in her vicinity. Usually, she liked to admire him from afar. There was nothing wrong with that after all. However, the second he opened his mouth, and honeyed nothings came pouring forth like a speech he’d rehearsed, she’d immediately feel her revulsion start to kick in, and she’d politely excuse herself.
She had a feeling tonight was not going to be any different.
She really didn’t want to deal with him tonight, but she had no choice. “That’s interesting news, I suppose.”
“You suppose?” Chastity gasped as if she questioned whether or not the sky was blue. “Clo, it’s Archer—THE-Archer Paisley. New York’s most sought after bachelor.”
Claudia pursed her lips. “He’s also New York’s most notorious bachelor. Don’t forget that there are three sides to every story. You ought to remember that, Chas. That goes for you to ladies. I doubt Mr. Paisley is as dreamy as you think he is. Remember what kind of business this is after all.”
She could feel the collective doubt gather and form a cloud above her head. “However, there is no harm in ogling from a distance.”
“Can we picture him naked too?” Leslie, one of the newer girls, a tall brunette asked.
“I’d rather not know that you do, but in theory sure.”
“Can we picture him in a compromising position?” One of the other girls waggled her eyebrows as the rest of the girls laughed.
Claudia began to laugh. “You can do whatever you want, ladies. I just don’t need to hear about it.”
Chapter Three
Claudia tried to keep her head in the game as she focused on getting the girls in and out on time because even though it was a gentleman’s club, they still prided themselves on being able to have at least some semblance of order around here. Generally, they were laid back and easy going, so aside from knowing when your cue was, that’s really all you had to know.
It was pretty simple, but sometimes the ladies were so caught up watching each other or gossiping, so they miss their cue. That’s where Claudia or Madame Sauri came in.
“Penny for your thoughts?” Chastity sidled up to Claudia and looked out at the audience having already finished her part in the show.
“I think they’d cost you a lot more than that,” Claudia responded, very dryly.
Chastity took her hand and slipped something in it. Claudia looked down in surprise only to find a 100 dollar crumbled up note.
“What’s this?” Claudia asked, amusement lacing her tone.
“It’s the thing called money. Perhaps you’ve heard of it. It’s a piece of paper that coined the term monetary value. It has no real use except its baffling ability to make people kill over.”
Claudia cocked her head to the side as she pretended to consider. “I have heard of it, yes. It sounds familiar. It also has high rates in some countries, and low rates in others?”
Chastity snapped her fingers. “Bingo, you’ve got it. You can be taught.”
Claudia shook her head in amusement. “Seriously, though. What’s this for, Chas?”
“One of the patrons just kept tossing them at me and hollering as if I were some kind of circus animal. I barely tossed a glance his way, but I figured I’d get something out of it.”
Claudia raised an eyebrow. “He just tossed a bunch of one hundred dollar bills at you?”
“I’m pretty sure he even asked if I’d marry him.”
“What a romantic proposal. Very well thought out,” Claudia mentioned sarcastically as she handed Chastity the money back. “Well, as much as I appreciate being in on this whole plan of yours to seize the opportunity whatever it might be, I think I’ll pass.”
Chastity frowned. “Come on, Clo. You work too hard, and you’re not even having any fun. I know you enjoy being on that stage because you used to dance back in college, but you hate the way those men fawn all over you. At least the rest of us have something going for us.”
“I’ve got stuff going for me,” Claudia said defensively as she crossed her arms over her chest.
“Books and drooling over fictional character do not fall under the category of going for you.”
A laugh escaped Claudia’s lips, unbidden. “Touché. However, I wasn’t just talking about that. You know that I’ve been saving up to get out of here. Someday, I’m going to do just that.”
“Yeah, you’ve been saying that for 3 years now, Clo. Sometimes, I can’t figure out if you’re hiding from something you want, or running away from something you’re afraid to want.”
Claudia let her hands fall to her sides, knowing that you couldn’t really get anything past Chastity. She was very shrewd and analytical. “Does it matter?”
“Of course it matters, sweetie.” Chastity eyed her sympathetically. “It’s not a crime to want to be happy, to strive for it, to even go after it on occasion. We are human after all.”
“I know,” Claudia said quietly as she stared at a fixed point on the wall. “It’s just not that simple for me. You know that.”
“I know that you wish you could change the past, but none of us really can. All we can do is make the best of the hand we’ve been dealt, and if we’re lucky enough, be able to change our stars.”
Claudia gave her a small smile. “If only we could. I don’t know, Chas. I used to believe that. Now, I just keep my head low, and hope life doesn’t throw any punches my way that I can’t handle.”
Chastity leaned over to get a hug and squeezed tight. “If life starts punching you, punch back. I know you’re made of sterner stuff.”
She pulled back and gave Claudia a wink. “Besides, with that ass.”
Chastity pretended to wolf whistle. Claudia smirked and did a little twirl. “Think it’ll make them fall on their knees?”
“Girl, they won’t even know what hit them,” Chastity replied, as an ear splitting grin made its way to her face.
“And that’s my cue to get going. Everyone’s meeting up afterward for dinner at Charlie’s, right?”
“You got it. I’ll see you there, Clo.”
Claudia sighed as she dragged herself towards the costume room and wondered what kind of outfit they’d put her in today. They pretty much came up with the weirdest outfits sometimes. On rare occasions, there were themes here and there. Sometimes racy themes, sometimes geeky, but almost always skimpy.
They rarely went for the classy approach unless it was someone they knew could pull it off. Tonight, much to her surprise, they put her in something classy. It was a figure hugging gold colored dress that fit her like a glove.
It had a plunging V-neck, and it was a little bit above her knees. It was definitely made to show off. The fabric was so soft, Claudia couldn’t help touching every few minutes after they put it on her.
She was a bit nervous going on stage
dressed like that, but she took a deep breath, steadied her breathing and went onto the stage.
As soon as she stepped onto the stage, the lights were dimmed, and all the lights in the club went off. A single spotlight shone on her, and she waited for the music to begin. After anxiously awaiting her track, Claudia caught the eye of the stage manager back stage who was frantically waving at her.
She managed to read his lips and find out that there was a technical difficulty that they were working on getting solved. Claudia knew that she could either let this moment get to her, and it could affect the whole show, or she could smile and wing it like a pro.
She counted backwards from ten in her head until she felt a sense of calm radiate throughout her body and calm her erratic heartbeat. She began to laugh and joke with some of the patrons until some of the confused looks on their faces dissipated, and they began to believe that this was actually part of the plan. That she was doing some sort of routine act that would be followed by music.
They had no idea she thought sardonically to herself as she continued the ruse. Thankfully, the music came back in, and she got back into what she was doing, but not before she caught Archer Paisley’s eye.
He was sitting close to the front, and he was keeping a close watch on her, but that wasn’t what caught her eye. What caught her eye is the fact that he seemed to be completely aware of the glitch that had occurred. He was watching her with an amused smirk tugging on the corner of his lips, his eyes sparkling mischievously, and his arms crossed over his chest in a nonchalant manner as if he dared her to say or do anything that he couldn’t predict.
Claudia wanted to wipe that smug smirk clean off his face, but she knew that it probably wasn’t a good idea. She forced herself to concentrate on the task at hand as she got through her routine with a flourish. She didn’t usually add a twirl to the end of her show considering it was mostly hip hop with a dash of contemporary dancing, but she felt that the move went with the dress, so she spread her arms and let the dress billow around her as the men hooted and hollered.