by Susan Bliler
“You don’t want to,” he confirmed, in his all too knowing tone.
Her lower lip trembled as she stared at him, relieved that his manner wasn’t mocking. It was as if he understood. She had no more fight left where he was concerned. She was tired of running and lying and hating. She just wanted to live, she just wanted…him. “I don’t want to want you. I know what happens when I want good things for myself. Whenever I’ve tried to take anything, even a moment for my own happiness, the Gods have seen and knew that I wasn’t worthy. Everything good is always ripped away, leaving me with a hole where it once was. A hole I can never fill. A hole that’s just another reminder that I’m not good enough, that I don’t deserve happiness.”
He squeezed her to his chest, and when she tried to lower her head, his finger kept it in place, forced her eyes to stay locked with his.
“You know the difference between women and men?” Bellis asked quietly, but didn’t wait for her answer. “Women spend their lives looking back. Men are always focused straight ahead. Women want to know what they could have changed to make themselves better. Men don’t care. They think they’re good enough. I’ve tried to do that, to believe that about myself. Yet, I cannot deny what I am. I am more of a monster than you could ever have tried to be. The Gods didn’t put us together to torture us, Angel. They put us together because we deserve each other. We’re the same. Not human enough, yet not really Skin Walker or Megalya. We’re in purgatory, Princess, and it’s not just where we live. It’s where we’re going to rule.”
Sam tried to jerk her chin free, but Bellis tightened his hold, his eyes narrowing into dangerous slits. “You don’t want to keep fighting this, do you?” When she didn’t respond, he growled, “Answer me.”
“No.” She shook her head, and her eyes dipped to his full lips and remained there a moment before lifting back to his. “No, Bellis, I don’t want to fight you anymore.”
Bellis’ heart soared, and he had to physically restrain himself from tossing his head back and roaring with his victory. Finally, after all they’d endured, his Angel had finally come to him. He could scent her nervousness, and he knew its source. Sam didn’t know what it meant to submit to a man, let alone a Skin Walker, but he was right. He knew it. They were done fighting each other. They were going to fight for each other.
A strong hand slid up from her chin to cup her cheek. “I’m not running, Samantha. I’m right here. I’ll always be here. With you. I’m not going anywhere.”
The admission brought on a fresh wave of tears. She’d never had anyone to rely on, not ever.
“I prayed to God for happiness,” she admitted quietly, “but I’m ashamed to ask for it. I don’t deserve it. I’m not sure whether the point of this life is one’s own happiness, or mere survival. Should just getting by be enough?”
In that moment, Bellis hated his kind for what they’d forced her to endure. His hand dropped, and he pulled her into his arms. “I want something from you.”
She looked up at him, confusion marring her brow.
“I want you to give me whatever it is you have within you that enabled you to sacrifice yourself. You’ve given everything, sacrificed your own happiness for Monroe, for his Walkers…for me. I want you to give me that trust, that chance. Let me find a way to make you happy.”
“I don’t have anything left,” she whispered. “There’s no love to be had here. I gave it all away when I should have given it to myself. I don’t know how to love anymore, Bellis.” She blinked, then closed her eyes as she dropped her forehead against his chest.
“There’s still goodness in you. And where there’s goodness, there’s love. I can find it. I can teach you. Please, Samantha. Let me try.”
“I’m afraid.”
“Of me?”
“No.” She shook her head sadly. “I’m afraid, because this feels like the end of something that has been the misery of my existence. I feel…” She opened her eyes, shimmering pools meeting his own. “Hope. I feel like I’m at the end of this hideous fucking journey, and I’m looking out at something beautiful and I know better than to hope for it, but I do. I’m looking at what you’re offering and I’m afraid to want it for myself. I should know better, and I do, but still… I want this to be the end of my desolation and the beginning of something true.”
“You’re a fighter, Angel. You fight because you’re vulnerable. You fight to hide it and you fight to protect it. By the Gods, just look at you,” he whispered reverently, tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear. “You’re better than all of us. Do you know that? You’ve sacrificed more than all the Walkers and Keepers combined. I am speaking from my soul when I tell you that you are the singular most divine creature it has ever been my honor to know. Take your strength, little fighter, and fight for us.” When she blinked up at him in shock, he grinned. “You’re so beautiful.”
Sam ducked away, hiding her face from him. “Don’t.”
Bellis wasn’t having it. Gripping her chin, he gently forced her to look at him. “I mean it, Sam.” His eyes roved her features, one finger lifting to touch a faint scar over her eyebrow. “You are achingly beautiful to me.” His finger dropped to brush along another scar just below her eye. “You know what I see when I look at you? Sure, I see scars, but more importantly, I see how you got them. I see that you sacrificed yourself for the good of a people that weren’t even your own. You took hits and abuse you didn’t have to take, just to protect something that wasn’t your responsibility. Each one of your scars makes me love you even more than I ever thought possible. You see imperfections. I see outward manifestations of a beautiful soul.” His eyes shimmered with emotion. “And I’m so damn proud to call you my love. I’m so fucking flattered and honored that you chose me!”
Sam had gone eerily still, and Bellis suddenly felt his heart slam to a halt. “Samantha?”
She blinked several times, her lips parting before she looked at him in disbelief. “Love?”
Bellis clenched his jaw and lifted his chin, his eyes boring into hers. “I love you, Sam. And I’m going to kiss you so much, hold you so long, love you so hard. I’m going to treat you so well that all other woman will look at you with envy. I’ve decided I’m going to be the reason you cry less and laugh more. It’s now my life’s mission. My sole mission. I’m done killing for Monroe. Now, I’m living for you.”
Sam smiled at him, lifting a hand to cup his cheek. “I did choose you.” She quietly amended, “I do choose you!”
Bellis growled in response and nuzzled his cheek into her hand. “And I thank you for it. And I choose you back. A thousand times, Sam, I choose you back.”
Chapter 38
Sam wasn’t sure what she was supposed to do. Bellis had stripped his shirt off, put it on her, and then led her out of the North Fortress. He’d seemed rushed, and she couldn’t tell if they were running away or not. She didn’t ask, not even when he opened the door of a blacked-out Humvee and lifted her inside. She didn’t speak as he drove, because she was nervous of the answer. Where was he taking her? StoneCrow? To his home? She preferred the latter, but she’d already bared too much of her soul to go exposing any more vulnerability. She kept her mouth shut and waited, letting Bellis take the lead.
When he finally pulled the vehicle to a stop in thick grove of pine trees high on a mountaintop, excitement tore through her. She was pretty sure he was taking her home, but she still didn’t get her hopes up.
Bellis paced around the vehicle and opened her door only to drop his gaze to her bare legs and feet. Sam looked behind him and understood his dilemma. “It’ll be fine,” she offered, “my feet can handle…” Her words were cut off as Bellis hoisted her into his arms and set off at a breakneck pace through the woods. Up and up he hiked, never once breaking stride or struggling for breath. So damn strong. So damn sexy.
When his house finally came into view, Sam’s tense muscles relaxed. She hadn’t even realized how uptight she’d been until she finally felt the rush of relief w
ash over her. He was taking her to his home, which meant he’d meant what he said. Right?
Inside his home he quickly set her down, and if she thought he’d immediately ravage her, she’d been sorely mistaken. Leaving her at the front door, he disappeared inside only to call out from his room, “Sam!”
She padded forward on bare feet, and when she peeked inside, he stood with a fresh shirt in his hands and a folded towel. Jerking his head, he said, “Bathroom’s through there. Get freshened up.”
She wanted to balk at his high-handed order, but she was emotionally exhausted and not up for the fight.
With a mutinous look, she crossed to him and jerked the two items from his hands before disappearing into the bathroom.
***
Bellis paced in his room. He and Sam were home. They’d snuck out of the North Fortress like two thieves in the night, and he’d made sure they weren’t followed as he’d taken Monroe’s transport vehicle and trekked to his mountain where they’d ditched the vehicle. Sam hadn’t spoken the entire ride, or during the hike up the mountain. Half expecting her to run as soon as he set her down, he intentionally left her alone at the front door while he got her something clean to wear and a towel for her shower. If Sam was going to run on him, he wanted to know now. But when he’d called for her, and then strained to listen, the soft shuffle of her feet was like a victory bell ringing loudly, declaring she was here by choice. This could work! This could be their home.
Home. This place had never felt like it before, but with Sam in the shower getting clean and ready for bed, all felt right in his world. Well, almost. The sound of Sam moaning under the heated spray of the shower carried to him and was wreaking havoc on his imagination. He didn’t have to imagine too hard though, because he’d already seen her glorious body. He’d been gifted with it too, but he hadn’t had the opportunity to revere it, enjoy it, as he’d wanted. He would tonight, and the excitement was shredding him.
After long minutes the water shut off, and a few minutes later, Sam stepped out of the bathroom. Wrapped only a thick green towel, her skin was dry and her hair damp. She looked a little unnerved, like she wasn’t sure what to do. “D-do you have something I can sleep in?”
Fuck no!
She looked to the side when he didn’t respond, and he recognized it as her first step in hiding from him. She always did that right before she threw up a wall. That wasn’t happening. He wasn’t letting her hide from him, not ever again. “Come here, Princess.”
Sam’s eyes shot to his before narrowing to thin slits, but she walked toward him. His moment of triumph was short-lived when she tried to sidestep and go for the door.
Grabbing her, Bellis spun her around and shoved her forward. She landed with a soft bounce, bent over on the bed. Her head jerked around to glare at him. Too bad!
Jerking her hips, Bellis shoved the towel up her legs and groaned at the sight of her. Nothing, nothing was more beautiful than her glistening slit taunting him. Unable to wait, he ripped open the front of his BDU’s and aligned the head of his cock with her wet slit. In stark contrast to the fierce determination in her eyes, Sam’s hips flared, but he didn’t move. He wasn’t giving her anything until she asked. She did, but not with words. Pressing her hips back, she took him inside of her a few inches with the movement. Bellis watched her eyes flutter closed and growled in displeasure. That ain’t happening either.
“Look. At. Me!” Bellis commanded, and Sam’s mutinous eyes snapped open to pin him with a dark look.
With one quick thrust, he buried himself fully inside her and Sam inhaled sharply, her hands releasing her towel as they shot forward to catch her weight as she cried out. Her eyes glazed over with lust and Bellis’ heart soared.
She likes it. She’s gonna like it even more.
Bellis started tunneling in and out of her, his hips working slowly. When Sam shoved her hips back fast and hard, he snarled.
She’s not in charge. Not this time.
To punish her, one hand gripping her hip tightened while the other smoothed down and over the rounded globe of her ass cheek. The way Sam’s body tensed told him she wasn’t expecting it when his finger suddenly ghosted over her asshole.
Sam stopped moving altogether and Bellis grinned as his hips continued to work. Her breath coming in fast pants told him all he needed to know. Sam was still in this. He started working his finger in a slow circle over her puckered hole while she watched him warily over her shoulder. Pulling his cock from her, he dipped his fingers inside her to coat them before filling her with the thick length of him once more.
Fingers now soaked, he pressed just the tip of his finger inside her ass, and when her pussy walls clenched around his cock, he knew he had her.
Snarling, Bellis kept fucking her pussy while his finger slowly invaded her backside. Sam tensed at the initial breach, but when he plunged his finger deeper inside, she threw her head back and cried out, clenching so hard on his cock that his hips faltered in their fluid movement. Bellis couldn’t stop the snarl that left him. She was sucking him in tight, but he knew how to get her back in rhythm. His finger pulled almost all the way out of her ass then slowly slid back in. This time he curled his finger and found that spot, the one that no other man had ever touched if the look on Sam’s face was anything to go by.
Suddenly, her shoulders hit the mattress and she spread her legs wider. She liked what he was doing to her, and it made Bellis harden further as his hips continued to piston, pounding into her wet pussy. His cock felt like granite. He was so hard it was almost painful. He needed to come so fucking badly he could barely see.
Ladies first though.
Pumping into her pussy a few more times, his finger continued massaging inside her ass. Once she’d gotten him good and wet, the hard ridge of him coated in her essence, he slipped his finger out of her ass and his cock out of her pussy. Without hesitation, he pressed the thick head against her tight little hole, but Sam cried out, “NO!” Shocked eyes turned and looked at him as she panted, “Too big!”
He wouldn’t be denied. He had to be her first; she had to learn that he could be gentle. “You can take it, Princess.” His hands spread her cheeks, and slowly he eased just the tip inside, then waited for her body to adjust. Sam was shuddering now, her thighs quivering as she sucked in deep breaths. “Try to relax,” Bellis directed, as he fed her more of him.
She was so fucking tight that his cock jerked inside her and a little come slipped free, coating her and making it easier to shove a little more of himself into her ass. He pulled out a little, watching as Sam’s tight hole clung to him. It was the most erotic thing he’d ever seen. His woman bent over, ass in the air, shoulders pressed to the mattress, body shaking and coated in a fine sheen. He was home.
With a snarl he growled, “Again!” He hoped she knew what he meant, because this was it. With one slow movement, he fed himself entirely into her.
Sam cried out in ecstasy and he felt it all the way to his soul.
Buried balls deep in her ass, her soft cheeks pressed against his hips, he lets his head fall back as her body quivered around him.
Fuck, so tight!
Her whole body was quaking, and soft mewls left her even though neither one of them was moving. Now, he needed to hear her scream. He wanted her to come so fucking hard, and scream his name so loud, that the world knew what he was doing to her. Slowly, he started working in and out of her.
Sam’s hands fisted the sheets, and sweat coated her body. His too. Bellis wanted to pummel her ass, but he knew better. He didn’t want to hurt his Princess, so his movements remained slow and deliberate, knowing that he was making love to her in a way she’d never experienced before. With each withdrawal, he pulled out a little bit further until finally he reached the crown of his cock. Sam had adjusted to his size, so now he began to fuck her in earnest, shoving his iron hard cock into her asshole like it was her wet pussy. They were both loving it.
Her cries filled the room, the house, until her v
oice went hoarse. “Bell…” Sam couldn’t even get out his full name, and he could relate. Reaching around her body, he found the engorged pearl of her clit and fingered it. Just a few strokes and Sam’s channel quivered around him, and he knew she was right there.
Suddenly, she broke his concentration by trying to crawl away, bringing her knees up and fisting the sheets to gain leverage, but his hands gripped her hips. With her ass higher now, he forced himself deeper inside of her than he’d ever been and Sam’s back bowed, her hips flaring as she seized around him, screaming his name to the rafters, “BELLIIIIIIIISS!”
He swore if she were any tighter, she’d lop his dick right off. Still, he kept working in short jerky motions, watching her hole clench and unclench until the sight and fit were just too much. Unable to tear his eyes away from where they were connected, a loud guttural roar ripped from Bellis as he shot his load deep inside her. Sam cried out again as he pounded into her, emptying himself completely until her ass was overflowing with his release, until it streaked down her inner thighs.
Sam’s body went lax even as Bellis continued to stroke into her, working out the rest of her orgasm until he curled his big body over hers and slumped down beside her on the bed.
“Bellis.” She breathed his name and it pulled a grin from him.
Dropping his lips, he brushed them against her temple. For some reason, he couldn’t bring himself to pull out of her body, not even when Sam’s breathing evened out and he knew sleep was tugging at her, trying to draw her down into the abyss.
He was damn sensitive, but he desperately wanted to wake up like this. He wanted Sam to wake up with him still stuffed inside her ass so she knew that yeah, this happened.
More content then he’d ever been in his life, Bellis curled around Sam’s body even as he started to get hard again. Sam moaned drowsily, but he didn’t push her. He’d wait for her. He wouldn’t take his Angel while she was so exhausted. No, he liked the sound of her screaming his name too much. Sighing contentedly, he relaxed knowing that when Sam woke, he’d be there, hard and ready.