“Stop, that tickles and you know it.” She scooted back over to lie in the crook of his arm. “Well, I don’t have to share my bathroom.”
“Must be good to be the queen.” His voice was playful, but she detected a note of something behind his words.
“Sometimes. It’s also a lot of responsibility, and you don’t get a whole lot of time alone. Tonight was an exception.”
“I’m glad. It would have been awkward had you not been alone.”
“Brody, we need to talk.”
His whole body tensed beside her. “Is this where you tell me we made a mistake?”
She sat up and turned to him. “No. Being with you is never a mistake. Sometimes it might not be a great idea, and our timing isn’t the best.” She pulled the sheet up, tucking it under her chin with her legs bent in front of her. She knew he read her actions as putting up a barrier. She was.
“Just say it, Dee.”
“The show won’t let me out of my contract even if I tell them we slept together. You know that right?”
“I figured as much.” Now he sat up too, leaning against the headboard.
“We can’t let anyone know this happened. I can’t even imagine how the other guys will react. What am I going to do on my next date? What if the show finds out and lets it out of the bag? My career will be ruined. Oh my God! My mother will kill me. She made me promise I wouldn’t do anything to embarrass her. She’s going to kill me. She’s going to kill you.”
He reached for her and she scooted farther back. If he touched her, she’d cave like a soufflé.
“Sweetheart, calm down. No one is going to find out. I’ll tell everyone I went for a walk and got lost. What happened here tonight, that’s between you and me and no one else.”
Now she did scoot closer. The man mixed her brain up so bad she couldn’t think straight. “Brody, I don’t know what to do. I can’t keep lying to the guys about us, about our past, when I’m asking them to be honest with me and I’m trying to take this seriously. I know I wanted out, but I’m stuck here and . . . Hell. I just think I owe it to the guys to give them a chance. But I want to give us a chance too.”
“I’m not going anywhere.”
“You’ve got to. If the producers find you were here we’ll both be in hot water.”
He tugged on a lock of her hair. “I didn’t mean tonight.”
Chapter Eleven
“You wouldn’t happen to know where Brody went last night,
Ywould you?”
Denise gave Steve one of those how-would-I-know looks and went back to flipping through the clothes in her closet.
“The cameras picked him up coming through the gates around one in the morning.”
“After yesterday, he probably needed some space. Did you ask him?” She held up a floral sundress, much to Steve’s horror.
“Look, girlfriend, if it were up to me—and I stress that it’s not—I wouldn’t ask, but the execs like to keep tabs on everyone and everything going on. You know they’re looking for anything that can boost the ratings.”
Denise pulled out another sundress, this one in pale yellow and white. Steve gave her the thumbs-up and she snagged a pair of strappy flat sandals to go with it. “Let’s talk about that for a moment. I want to come clean with the guys about Brody’s and my past. It’s not right to keep it from them or to keep ignoring Brody.”
“They’re not ready for you to do that. The plan is to wait until you’re down to the final five or six for maximum impact.”
“I’m telling them today, Steve.”
“Denise, honey. I can’t tell you what to say or not say. I am stating for the record, because I like my paycheck, that you might want to wait until I can run it by Chris.”
She headed for the bathroom, stopping right before she closed the door. “Then might I suggest you run it by him soon? Very soon, because in two hours I’m coming clean.”
Steve had ducked outside with his cell gripped in his hands as Denise got ready for her next one-on-one date, and then he’d proceeded to try to talk her out of her decision the entire way to the guys’ house. She walked in and stopped short at the conversation taking place.
“Brody, where’d you disappear to last night?” Josh asked.
“Out.”
“Out where?” Kyle jumped into the discussion.
“For a walk. What is this, Twenty Questions?”
“Relax, man. We’re just asking.” Josh again.
What was this, tag-team Tuesday?
“We were talking, after you took off to wherever, about the incident with Aaron. Several of us heard you say something to Denise about your mom.”
“Your point, Kyle?”
“Look, man. You’ve hardly spent any time with her, yet it sounded like she knew your mom. It doesn’t add up. She knows about your family. You disappeared for hours last night. Is there something between you two?”
She inched closer and could see the two guys conducting the interrogation had taken up places on either side of Brody. Yeah, it was time to nip this in the bud.
“Maybe because there is.” She stepped fully into view of all the men.
“Dee,” Brody growled as he shot her a worried look.
“Look, I need to talk to all of you.” She took a spot on a short couch, where she could face everyone and gauge their moods. “Again, I’m sorry for cutting yesterday short. I know some of you didn’t get any private time, but I plan to shake things up a bit this week and fix that. That is, if you’ll let me after you hear me out.”
“Dee.” Brody got up from his spot on the couch and came toward her.
She shook her head and stopped him. “No, it’s okay. They deserve to know. Brody and I have a past. I didn’t know he’d be here, and yes, the producers knew of our connection before he arrived. It doesn’t change why I’m here. I’m still looking for Mr. Right and I do have high hopes that he’s in this group.”
Her stomach jumped like a cricket on speed as she scanned the scowls and dropped eyes around her. The guys were silent, too silent, and she had to get them talking. Leaving things bottled up could lead to bigger problems later on, especially when she wasn’t around to diffuse them.
“How long ago was this shared past?” Roan looked from her to Brody and back.
“Five years ago,” she lied.
“Who ended it?” William asked.
“I did.” She looked at each guy, all great in their own right, and wondered if she could give them an honest chance after last night. “I should have told you from the start. I expect honesty from each of you, yet I didn’t give it in return.” She rolled her eyes toward the camera, hoping the guys got her hint. “If any of you want to call it quits, I’ll understand, but I’m hoping you’ll stick it out and give me a chance.”
Or not. If they all quit, the show couldn’t blame her right? After all, they were going to find out sooner or later about her and Brody’s past, and hey, look, she might save them some money this way. Not to mention she wouldn’t have to deal with the hospital admin who was still waffling on approving the rest of her vacation time. If all the guys walked, she could get back to her regularly scheduled life, saving lives, getting puked on, treating ear infections, and listening to her mom ask when she’d find a nice guy and settle down like her sisters.
She looked up to find Brody watching her with those dark, brooding eyes of his. He didn’t smile, didn’t wink, nothing to indicate anything between them had happened last night. Maybe she’d imagined it. Nah, no way was her imagination that vivid.
Just when she thought she’d made more of it in her mind than how it would really play out, Jerry stood.
“Thank you for coming clean with us. It takes guts and I can appreciate that. However, I can’t be in a relationship with someone who isn’t one hundred percent honest with me from the start. I’m going to go pack my bags.” He called his dog, and together they disappeared down the long hallway.
Okay, she got it, she really did, but i
t still stung, and she had to fight back a wave of tears. It wasn’t that she’d grown attached to Jerry—he was a nice guy, funny, and he loved his dog—but the words stung.
“There’s a one-on-one date today with Caden, if you’re still up to going?” She turned to the sweet boy-next-door web engineer with a hopeful smile. They hadn’t spent a lot of time together yet, but she’d been drawn to his quiet attitude and quick smile.
“Ready when you are.”
Talk about a long week. Four one-on-one dates, starting with Caden and a private wine train trip up the Napa Valley: lunch and wine tasting at her new favorite winery, V. Sattui, shopping in St. Helena, and then an amazing and romantic dinner in the Great Hall at Castello Di Amorasa. The day had been near perfect. Great conversation, lots of laughter, excellent food, all topped off with a fairy-tale evening, except in her story the prince didn’t try to kiss the princess. Perhaps Caden had been playing the gentleman card—fine—or maybe he just wasn’t feeling it.
She’d told Steve she wasn’t giving out any keys this week to give all the guys more time.
Wednesday took her and Kyle to Calistoga for a dip in the mineral baths. Another near-perfect date. Kyle, true to form, was more open with his affection, but being hugged by him sort of felt platonic, where a week before it had been anything but.
The next day had her zip-lining through the redwoods with Jordan, Dillon, Blake, and William. A fun, low-key day during which everyone had a blast . . . well, except for Dillon, who worried he might smack into a tree and ruin his face. Not likely. They weren’t slinging through the forest a la George of the Jungle. William pretty much ignored her. Blake and Jordan double-checked her harness and talked to her about things other than Brody and how she felt about Jerry leaving. Although she’d either developed venomous lips or turned into everyone’s little sister as both men kissed her, one on the cheek and the other on the forehead.
Friday she’d spent the day with Max at the Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk. They road rides, ate cotton candy, and he told her about his broken engagement. The tale paralleled her own, except she hadn’t left Brody for another woman, or anyone else for that matter.
Saturday she and Roan headed to Marshall Gold Discovery State Park to see if they could strike it rich panning for gold. Sadly, neither struck the mother lode. She did find two small nuggets—probably planted for the show. The real payoff came when her curse of the poison ivy kiss ended. Maybe it had been a victory smooch, it did come after their find, but she’d take it. It had been sweet and soft and full of promise. Best of all, it didn’t feel like it came from her brother. Or what she’d imagine a brotherly kiss would feel like.
As she relaxed in the backseat of the SUV on her way to meet Brody, Josh, and Zach for her final date of the week (thank you!) she realized a couple of things. One, she had a darn good reason for being both physically and mentally exhausted. Two, she already knew who she was sending home the next day.
The SUV pulled into the parking lot and her heart did a little jig. Brody stood with his back to her, facing the ocean before him. His shoulders were slightly hunched and he had his hands stuffed in his pockets. They hadn’t had a single moment to talk since her disclosure and she’d worried throughout the week if the other guys were taking it out on him. Not that he couldn’t hold his own. If the scene before her meant anything—Brody standing off alone while Zach and Josh laughed together—tensions were riding high in the house.
She stepped out of the vehicle and Josh and Zach took turns scooping her up in giant hugs. By the time they were done, Brody had joined them but still kept his distance. Denise turned and hugged him. This was the date to show everyone she was treating all the men equally. Not easy, and it made her wonder how sheiks and those dudes with the sister wives did it.
“Hi, you all look great. So, are you ready for a little adventure today?”
All three said yes, and she went back to the SUV and pulled out a couple of buckets. “Welcome to Bodega Bay. Today we’re going to partake in a native Californian tradition and go clam digging. Maybe if we get lucky, Zach will show us how to cook them later for dinner.”
She passed out the buckets and headed down the path with the men following. A little way from the mud flats she stopped and slipped off her shoes. “This is going to get messy, so you might want to ditch the shoes and roll up the sleeves. These babies are soft shelled and you’re going to have to use your hands to do the digging. If you break a shell, you have to keep it. Are you guys ready?”
“Piece of cake.” Josh grinned and grabbed his bucket before heading to the flats.
The other three met one another’s eyes and grinned. “Me thinks the Texan has never done this before.” Zach laughed and followed the others. “This is going to be fun.”
“Is there an incentive in this game today?” Brody’s eyes sparkled with mischief.
“First one to get their ten clams gets one-on-one time with me.” She hadn’t really thought about a reward when she planned today’s date. After the last six, she’d run out of ideas, and when a crew member brought this up the only thought going through her head was sure, why not? She’d missed the beach, walking through the surf as the water tugged at her toes to pull her into its depths.
“Game on.” Brody set down his bucket and searched the ground.
Zach and Josh were already digging and flinging mud everywhere. Brody took a few minutes, watched some people down the beach, and then turned back to the area in front of him before dropping to his knees and digging like the dog from a Dr. Seuss book. When he pulled out the first clam, holding it by its siphon, the other guys grumbled and dug deeper. Denise took her time, not really trying to capture any clams. She’d been warned ahead of time that if she wanted to get any, she’d better be prepared to be up to her armpits in mud. Uh, no thanks.
When Brody reached half his limit and the other two were still at zero, she figured she’d better do something to even the odds. “I need a break. Brody, will you come take a walk with me?”
Brody stood and took her dirty hand in his grit-covered one. He stopped and turned to Josh. “Hey, cowboy, it’s all about stealth.”
Josh drew his brows down and turned to Zach.
She pulled Brody along toward the water’s edge. She’d let the chef explain Brody’s comment. “That was nice of you. Helping Josh, even if he didn’t have a clue what you meant.”
“He’ll figure it out soon enough.”
They bent down and washed the grime off before continuing down the beach. “How’s it been this week?”
“Sarcasm, dirty looks, and mumbled conversations. A real party.”
She pulled him to a stop and made him look at her. “I’m sorry. I thought telling them now rather than later would be best. They had to be wondering what was going on. I mean, I ignore you all week long and on the group dates, yet I keep asking you to stay. It wouldn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out something was wonky.”
“Dee, it’s okay. I can handle it.” He enveloped her in a hard, warm hug, chasing the chill from the wind away and squishing her nose in his chest.
They headed away from the water, up to a spot the crew had set up for them. Brody wrapped a throw over her shoulders before pouring her a cup of hot chocolate and handing her a blueberry muffin. If it wasn’t for the whole camera in your face and constantly trying to gauge the emotions of almost a dozen guys, she could get used to this dating/pampering thing.
“This is nice.”
“What is, the beach?”
“Yes, but I was referring to spending time with you without having to hide.” She popped the last of her muffin in Brody’s mouth. “At first I was irritated with you for showing up, especially without any warning. Then, sometime during the paintball game . . . possibly after I shot and killed you . . . I found I liked having you here.”
“Me too.” He laced his fingers through hers and kissed the back of her hand. “Especially after the incident with Aaron.”
She stare
d off into the horizon, watching the calm blue sea. A few seagulls strutted down the sand, scavenging for snacks. The whole scene was peaceful, one she and Brody had shared a bazillion times before. Except she felt anything but serene inside. For the past two nights, ever since Steve the producer told her that Aaron had been released from jail she’d been looking over her shoulder and jumping at every sound.
“Penny for your thoughts?” Brody nudged her arm with his.
“Does it ever go away? The constant urge to look over your shoulder and recheck door and window locks, even though you checked five minutes before, or the fear that someone is going to break in while you’re sleeping and take out their rage on you?”
“Have you noticed strange noises around your house when you’re alone?”
She shrugged, not wanting to make a big deal out of an overactive imagination. “A few times. Probably an owl or something.”
“Did security find anything?”
“No.” She lied because if he knew the show didn’t provide any security, he’d lose his effing mind or he’d sneak out and provide it himself, which, now that she thought about it, could have some pleasant benefits.
“Do you still have nightmares?” She’d lost track of how many times he’d awoken in a cold sweat, or pleaded in his sleep for his father to stop.
At first he wouldn’t tell her about the dreams. He’d brush them off and say “Oh, it’s already faded,” or something about how he shouldn’t have watched a horror movie before bed. Eventually he’d come clean after he accidentally hit her in his sleep while he fought back.
“Not often. A case might stir up a few memories now and then.” He dug into the picnic basket and pulled out grapes and strawberries. “A guy could starve on this stuff. Let’s talk about something more fun, like have you talked to your family since you got here?”
Not exactly the fun topic she would have picked. “Not really. I’ve been avoiding my mom’s calls. My sisters have texted a few times, wanting the scoop on all the hot guys, and my dad doesn’t do technology.”
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