“The other half,” as Nanny often said.
Selene was determined and obstinate, forceful and had a will of iron.
Pandia knew that she was indecisive, gentle, frightened of hurting people and quite incapable of being ruthless or determined if there was any opposition.
‘It is wrong to be like that, I am sure it is,’ she told herself, ‘but there is nothing I can do about it.’
Then she thought that she heard Nanny’s voice calling and, putting the guard in front of the fire, she walked towards the door.
As she reached it, she instinctively looked back to see if her father was sitting comfortably in his armchair and had everything he wanted.
Then, because the chair was empty, she felt a pain in her heart that was physical and wondered how long it would be before she ceased to think of him almost every moment of the day.
She went back into the small hall which she and her mother had painted a pale green because the dark panelling which had been there for ages made it seem small and shabby.
Then, when having closed the door behind her, she would have gone into the kitchen, there came a loud rat-tat on the front door.
Pandia wondered who it was, knowing that anybody from the village would have called at the kitchen door.
It took her only two steps to turn the handle and open it.
For a moment she stood as if turned to stone and thought she must be dreaming.
Standing in the porch was Selene.
She was looking so smart, so exquisitely dressed, enveloped with fur and with ostrich feathers in her fashionable hat, that Pandia was astonished that she instantly recognised her! But Selene’s face was still so like her own that she was unmistakable.
“Selene!”
Somehow the words seemed to be jerked from between her lips and, Selene, almost pushing past her, walked into the hall.
“You are surprised to see me?” she asked.
“Yes, of course,” Pandia answered. “But you are too late. Papa was buried yesterday.”
“I knew that,” Selene replied, “but I have come to see you. Who else is in the house?”
With an effort Pandia shut the front door because the wind was blowing through it.
She was aware as she did so that a very smart carriage drawn by two horses with a coachman and a footman on the box was moving away.
“Only Nanny,” she replied in answer to Selene’s question. “Where is your carriage going?”
She had the frightening feeling that Selene had come home to stay and was wondering if she would be comfortable enough and what they would give her to eat.
“I told them to rest the horses at the inn,” Selene replied. “I suppose it is still there?”
“The Anchor? Yes, of course.”
Pandia thought with relief that they would not have to feed the two men and she said hurriedly,
“Go into the study where it is warm, and I will tell Nanny you are here. I think luncheon is almost ready.”
“I could do with something to eat,” Selene replied. “I had forgotten how far away we lived from London. It has taken me hours to get here!”
She spoke as if it was Pandia’s fault, but she obviously did not expect a reply as she went into the study and her sister ran to the kitchen.
“Nanny! Nanny!” she cried. “Selene is back! She has just arrived!”
Nanny looked at her as if she thought her ears were deceiving her. Then she answered,
“Well, if she’s come for the funeral she’s too late!” “That is what I told her. She is hungry and we will have to eat in the dining room.”
As she spoke, Pandia saw the change of expression in Nanny’s face.
Because there had been only the two of them after her father became confined to his bedroom, they had eaten together in the kitchen, but she was quite certain that Selene would dislike that and perhaps make a fuss.
“I will lay the table,” Pandia said quickly, “and if you will put everything on a tray I will fetch it.”
Nanny’s lips tightened, but she did not say anything and without waiting Pandia hurried into the dining room which was just beside the kitchen.
It was only a small room, but her mother had made it very attractive.
The curtains were not of a rich material, but before they faded they had been a very pretty shade of ruby red and matched the seats on the chairs.
It all gave an impression of rich colour and when her mother was alive there had always been a bowl of flowers in the centre of the table.
Pandia quickly found a clean white tablecloth and spread it over the table, then laid on it the knives, forks and spoons and the glasses.
A silver bowl which her mother had treasured was on the sideboard and she placed it in the centre.
Although there were no flowers at this time of the year, she thought it made the table look very much the same as when they had all been there for meals.
Pandia laid it for only two people, knowing that Selene would not expect to sit down with Nanny.
Peeping into the kitchen she saw that Nanny was dishing up the rabbit that was giving out a delicious fragrance and she hurried across the hall to the study.
“Luncheon will be ready in two minutes!” she said. “Would you like to wash, Selene, and take off your hat?”
“I suppose I might as well make myself comfortable,” Selene answered her.
She was sitting, Pandia noticed, in their father’s chair, holding out her hands to the fire.
Now she was discarding her hat and, looking at her without it on, Pandia thought she still looked exceedingly beautiful, but they no longer so closely resembled each other.
Then she realised that it was not Selene’s face that had changed but the way she arranged her hair.
Also her eyelashes seemed darker than they had been in the past and her lips were redder.
While she was looking at her sister, Selene was gazing at her.
“We are still alike,” she commented.
To Pandia’s delight she seemed pleased.
“I thought for a moment that you had changed,” Pandia said, “but it is only the way you are doing your hair and of course you look very beautiful.”
“I thought you would admire me,” Selene replied, “but in my position I am expected to be smart and of course expensively dressed.”
“Your position?” Pandia enquired, puzzled.
“I am married,” Selene answered. “Did you not know?”
“No, of course not! How should I?”
Selene laughed.
“I forgot that Papa was never interested in the newspapers and I suppose in this dead and alive hole you would not be aware if the world came to an end!”
“I should have wanted to know that you were married,” Pandia replied. “You might have written to tell me!”
Selene did not answer. She was busy patting her hair into place.
Then she rose to her feet revealing, as she did so, her gown of rich peacock blue silk which had been concealed by the fur-trimmed coat she wore when she arrived.
Her waist was tiny and the bodice above it was moulded over her breasts in a way that made her look exceedingly elegant and also, Pandia thought, somewhat revealing.
Selene walked towards the door.
“I suppose there is nothing to drink?” she asked.
“I think we have a bottle of claret left, which Papa used to enjoy.”
“Well, you had better open it,” Selene replied. “I certainly need something to sustain me after such a long journey.”
“I wish you had told me you were coming,” Pandia said. “We could have had everything ready for you. However, Nanny has cooked a rabbit for luncheon and, as you will remember, her rabbits are always delicious!”
Selene laughed.
“I am not likely to forget it! Looking back I can remember nothing but rabbit, rabbit, rabbit, because it was cheap!”
Pandia did not answer. She was almost in the dining room, looking
for the claret.
The doctor had thought a red wine might do her father good and he should have a glass at luncheon and another at dinner.
Pandia found there was a little left in one bottle, and there was fortunately another unopened.
She poured what was left into Selene’s glass and she sipped it with an expression of one who was about to take poison. Then she said,
“This is not as bad as I feared. Papa always had fairly good taste in wines.”
“How would you know that?” Pandia asked.
She was thinking that Selene had been only nearly sixteen when she had left home.
“Oh, I used to take a sip now and then from the bottles in the dining room just to see what the wine was like and I thought then that, being a foreigner, Papa would prefer a good wine rather than the spirits which so many Englishmen drink.”
“It sounds strange to hear you say ‘foreigner’ like that,” Pandia remarked. “I never really thought of Papa being one.”
“Of course he was a foreigner,” Selene said, “a Hungarian teacher. And why Mama was so mad as to run away with him, I cannot imagine.”
Pandia had heard all this before and she was not surprised when Selene continued,
“If you could only see the house where our grandfather lived. It is large and magnificent and my house is not unlike it, but even larger!”
“Perhaps you would tell me your name and to whom you are married,” Pandia said in a small voice.
“My husband is the Earl of Linbourne,” Selene replied.
There was no doubt of the note of satisfaction in her voice and, as if she could not help boasting, she added,
“I am a Countess and I enjoy every moment of it! Think of it, Pandia! I have the position in life I always wanted and longed for, the gowns I used to dream about, carriages to ride in, thoroughbred horses to ride and I attend so many balls that I declare I am growing tired of them!”
She spoke like a small child who wishes to score off another and Pandia remarked quietly,
“I am so glad for you, Selene. I remember Papa saying that, if we wanted something badly enough and willed it to happen, it would!”
“If Papa thought that, he might have willed us a little more money!” Selene replied sharply. “And Mama might not have died if she had not been so cold in this draughty house and grew weak because we could not afford good food.”
Pandia gave a cry.
“Selene, that’s not true! It is true you could not have all you wanted, but we always had enough to eat and, although we had to be very careful, we had practically everything we wished for.”
“You may have done,” Selene said scathingly, “but I hated the pinching and saving and having to make do with everything that was second or even third rate!”
Because she could not bear to hear her home disparaged in such a way, Pandia said quickly,
“Now you have everything you want.”
“Everything!” Selene agreed.
“How long have you been married?”
“Over a year. I was married when I was seventeen and eight months old. The Earl fell in love with me the moment he saw me.”
“What is he like?” Pandia asked. “Tall and handsome?”
There was a little pause before Selene replied,
“He is older than I am and of course I admire and respect him and, although he has been married before, he has no heir to the title.”
“Are you going to have a baby?” Pandia asked.
Selene shook her head.
“Not yet, thank goodness. I want to enjoy myself first. It is what I feel I am entitled to after living in this hovel for so long.”
Pandia drew in her breath, but she let the remark pass and asked,
“Do tell me how our grandparents behaved after you arrived there. I have been curious for so long!”
“They were very kind,” Selene said. “I told them Mama was dead and I had nobody to look after me, and they treated me as if I was their younger daughter. My uncles, the oldest of whom now is Lord Gransden, are charming too, although their wives are a little sour because I am so beautiful.”
“I can understand their being jealous.”
“Of course they are,” Selene replied. “They grew more jealous as I grew older and were, of course, delighted when I was married, except that it made them angry to think of the spectacular social position I now hold.”
It was obvious that Selene was boasting again and Pandia, eating the rabbit which as usual Nanny had cooked to perfection, had the strange feeling that her sister was doing so for some ulterior motive she had not yet revealed.
She had always known what her twin was thinking and now she had the feeling that Selene was acting a part and manoeuvring everything for her own ends, as she always had.
Selene finished the claret that was left in the bottle and surprised Pandia by asking her to open the other.
“I never imagined that you would drink a lot of wine,” she said as she looked for the corkscrew. “Mama never drank anything in the way of alcohol.”
“That was because she was economising,” Selene said. “I enjoy wine, especially champagne, if I am sharing it with somebody attractive.”
“Did you have many offers of marriage before you accepted your husband?” Pandia enquired.
“I had three,” Selene answered, “but they were of no importance. Actually I was married in my very first Season and all the other debutantes who came out at the same time were wild with envy!”
“It must have been very exciting for you, but I wish, Selene, you had asked me to your wedding.”
“I could not do that,” Selene replied after a little pause. “Why not? Are you ashamed of me?” Pandia asked. She knew her twin hesitated and was wondering whether or not to tell the truth.
Then she said,
“I told our grandparents when I first went to them that both you and Papa as well as Mama, were dead!” Pandia gave a little gasp.
“You said that? Why?”
“Because I wanted to make certain they would look after me,” Selene explained. “When I arrived saying I was all alone in the world they could hardly turn me away from the door!”
For a moment Pandia could not speak. Then she said,
“I think it was wrong of you, if not wicked, to tell such terrible lies. It would have hurt Papa very much if he had known about it.”
“There was no likelihood of his hearing about it,” Selene replied. “Knowing where I was, he would not come looking for me and if they thought he was dead, you had to be dead too.”
“I cannot imagine why you wanted to tell them that.” Then, as Pandia spoke, she knew the reason just as clearly as if Selene had put it into words.
Her sister had always wanted to be the only one. She had never wanted a sister, least of all a twin.
“It is not natural,” she had raged once, “that I should have to share everything with you and that people look at us as if we were one person instead of two. I am me, and I don’t want to be half of you or for you to be half of me!”
She had said it in a temper and Pandia had forgotten it afterwards, but she knew now that it was what Selene had thought all the time.
When she had had the chance to be on her own, she had taken it.
But there was nothing Pandia could do about it now and there was no point in making a fuss.
Instead she poured the claret from the new bottle into Selene’s glass and said,
“I hope you will enjoy this. It will certainly warm you up after your long drive.”
Selene sipped a little of the claret and nodded condescendingly,
“Quite good!”
“And now, Selene,” Pandia said, “tell me exactly why you have come.”
There was a pause and she thought for a moment Selene was not going to reply, or if she did, would not tell her the truth.
Then she said a little hesitatingly,
“I want – your help, Pandia in a way that only you can – h
elp me!”
Chapter Two
For a moment there was silence and Pandia looked astonished.
It seemed to her incredible that after Selene had been away for so long and never communicated with her in any way she should now ask for her help.
Then, because she felt rather touched that her sister still found her useful, she replied,
“Of course I will help you if I can, Selene, but I cannot imagine how.”
Selene took another sip of the claret as if she felt it would help her. Then she began,
“It’s a rather strange story, but I had arranged a long time ago to be with somebody who matters to me for the next few days.”
Pandia was listening intently but for the moment she could not imagine what Selene was going to say.
“I was, in fact,” her sister went on, “leaving tonight to stay with this person. My husband had arranged to go on an important mission for the Government, but last week a relative of his unexpectedly died.”
“I suppose your husband does not know about me?” Pandia asked in a low voice.
“Of course not!” Selene said quickly. “He believes, as our grandparents did, that Mama, Papa and you are all dead.”
Her voice had sharpened as she spoke and, although Pandia told herself it was stupid to be hurt, she felt like crying out despairingly at having been dismissed so casually from her twin’s life.
“As I was saying,” Selene continued, “George has left for Paris early this morning and I had planned to leave London next morning, but now I am expected to go to the funeral.”
“Whose funeral is it?” Pandia asked, feeling she should show some interest in what Selene was saying.
“It is the Duke of Doringcourt who has died. He was a very old man and I don’t suppose many people will mourn him, but George has said that I must represent him at the funeral which takes place tomorrow.”
There was silence and then Pandia said,
“I suppose – if the Duke was a relation – it would be impossible for you to refuse.”
“Quite impossible,” Selene agreed. “But I cannot waste my time in mourning the dead when I want to be with somebody who is very much alive!”
Fire in the Blood Page 2