Dr. Coe gave her a hug, and Callie used all her effort to squeeze back. Remaining stoic and calm, she said again, “I really appreciate you telling me in person.”
And she did appreciate it. Dr. Coe had proven to be a very nice woman. She held the front door as the doctor walked out. She watched as she got in her car, waved and then drove away.
God, I thought we were starting fresh. Haven’t I had enough pain in my life? Both parents? Wasn’t that enough?
Her father’s frustrated, embarrassed expression when he left her and her mother filtered through her mind. She remembered her mother’s sunken eyes and cheeks the last weeks of her life. She wouldn’t do that to Kirk. Make him regret being married to her. Make him watch her die.
She raced into the bedroom and yanked the suitcase out from under the bed. Moving as fast as her hands would allow, she shoved as many clothes as she could grab into the suitcase and zipped it shut. Rushing into the bathroom, she scooped all of her beauty products in one sweep into a duffel bag.
Tammie had already been gone longer than Callie would have expected. Trying to hurry, she threw shoes into another bag. In two trips, she’d packed all she could in the backseat of the car.
With one last look back at Kirk’s house, she swiped away the single tear that escaped her eye. She had wanted to be Mrs. Kirk Jacobs so badly. But it wasn’t meant to be.
Callie was already in the car and halfway down the driveway when she saw Tammie walk out the back door of the main house, holding a small box in her hand. Her brows were furrowed in confusion as she waved for Callie to come back.
Pain laced through her heart as she shifted her gaze away from the woman and the house and onto the main road. She turned left. She’d have to go back to the only place she knew to go. Her old boss had promised her a job any time she decided to return. She wouldn’t be able to tell him the cancer prognosis she’d received, but Callie figured she’d be able to be evasive for a while. It had taken several months before her mother became too ill.
She thought of her father leaving everything in his will to his brother and nephew. Bitterness welled inside her. Now would have been a good time for her to have some provision from him. He’d left her and her mom. Despite that, when he needed help, she’d dropped everything and gone to his aid. I need him now, and he’s ditched me again. She smacked the top of the steering wheel. Even from the grave he left me to fend for myself.
On impulse, she touched her mother’s charm around her neck. She’d draw strength from her memory, from the many good times they’d had together. Where else would she be able to find strength?
Chapter 17
Kirk frowned when he saw his mother hurrying toward him, waving papers in her hand. He turned off the tractor and hopped off the seat. She didn’t have any business scurrying around the fields like that. She’d be sore all evening, or worse reinjure her ankle. Stopping just in front of him, she placed her hand on her chest and panted.
He put his hand on her shoulder. “Mom, what is it? Nothing could be so important that you come running out here—”
“She’s gone.” His mother swallowed then tilted her head back and sucked in another breath.
“What? Who’s gone?”
She shoved the papers in his hands. “Callie. She must have forgotten these.”
Kirk shook his head. She wasn’t gone. She couldn’t be. They were getting married in a month’s time. She’d probably just had to run an errand or something. And what were these papers his mom was waving in his face?
He grabbed the stack from her. Callie’s name was printed at the top. Stapled beside it was a business card with an appointment date and time written on it. He read the name of the doctor and then the man’s title. Oncologist.
His heart sank, and his stomach knotted. “Mom, what is this?”
“We were at the cabin, putting pictures in frames for the reception. Having a great time sifting through old memories.” She covered her mouth with the tips of her fingers and shook her head. “I remembered I had another box of photos, and I ran back to the house. I knew I recognized the woman that pulled up. I just couldn’t place her.”
Kirk scratched his forehead. “Mom, what are you talking about?” He pointed to the papers. “What does that have to do with this?”
“Don’t you see? The woman was her mom’s doctor, the one who found the cancer.” She rubbed her hands along the sides of her thighs. “I knew something was wrong the other day at the flower shop. I knew she’d gone to the doctor once. There was no reason for her to have to go again. I should have pressed her for more information.” She looked up at him, her eyes brimming with tears. “She said everything was fine, and I didn’t want to believe otherwise.”
He wrapped his arm around his mother’s shoulder. An oncologist meant cancer. The knots in his stomach tightened, and his legs felt weak as he tried to keep his mind from going to the worst of possibilities. “It’s okay. I’ll talk to her when she gets back. She probably just needs to blow off some steam—”
“No.” His mom pushed away from him. “You don’t understand. Her clothes are gone. She left.”
Kirk growled as he dropped the tractor key in her hand. “Drive the tractor back. It’s too far for you to walk.”
Without waiting for her to respond, he ran to the cabin. Sweat trailed down his face, and his chest burned once he reached it. Throwing open the front door, he halted at the disarray. That ugly picture with the horse was gone, as were several other knickknacks she’d kept around the room. He walked to the bedroom. As his mom said, the drawers had been pulled out and emptied, just like the closet and the bathroom.
He sat on the edge of the bed, leaned forward, placing his elbows on his legs and pressing his head against his hands. Where would she have gone?
God, why did she run? She had to know I would be with her through it all, help her as she fought whatever lay ahead.
He thought of her dad leaving when her mother’s cancer reached its worst. Callie endured the last year, watching her mother fight and lose. Knowing Callie, she didn’t want him to see her so sick.
He sat up and wrapped his arms around his waist. “God, I don’t want to see her so sick. Why, Lord?”
His thoughts shifted to the Fourth of July. Greta had passed away only a week before and he and Callie talked about God’s sovereignty, even when they couldn’t see His plan. She’d told him she loved him, that she was willing to endure pain with the love.
Resolve settled into his core. He stood. “God, I let her leave once. I won’t let her do it again.”
He walked into the kitchen and rummaged through papers on the countertop. Surely, there would be some clue about where she would go. He didn’t believe she’d go to her uncle’s or cousin’s house. The only people she talked about from those five years away were her patients, and to his knowledge, they had all passed on.
He snapped his fingers. That was it. She’d have gone back to the hospice job. She’d told him on several occasions how much love she’d had for her patients, and that her boss said he’d hire her back in a minute. It was the only thing that made sense.
Rushing out of the cabin, he ran to his house, grabbed the truck keys and headed down the road. He stopped at a four-way stop sign. He didn’t feel right. Something was missing.
Realization pressed on his heart, and he turned the truck to the right. After a few miles of pleading with God to show him the words to say, he pulled into the town’s cemetery. Following the winding road toward the back, his heart lifted when he saw her car.
He parked behind her then hopped out of the cab. Pressing the cool keys to his lips, he muttered, “Show me, Lord. Give me the right words.”
Stepping onto the graveled path that led to her mother’s gravesite, his mind traveled back to the day of her burial. He’d held Callie close as she cried, her h
ead resting on his shoulder. Then and there, he’d decided to be there for her for the rest of her life.
Then I panicked, broke it off and let her leave.
He picked up the pace, knowing she’d be a little ways beyond the next tree.
But times have changed. I’ve grown up. I’m here, and she’s not getting rid of me so easily.
Shoving his hands in his pockets, he chewed his bottom lip when he saw her. She sat on her knees, hands pressed against the top of her legs. She didn’t seem to be crying, just staring at the headstone.
Walking up behind her, he placed one hand on her shoulder. She didn’t flinch, and he knew she’d felt him walking up beside her.
“I forgot the papers Dr. Coe gave me at the cabin.”
Her voice sounded just above a whisper, and he nodded even though she wasn’t looking at him. “Yep.”
She still didn’t look back, and he waited, begging God to show him what to say.
“I guess you read them.”
“I did.”
“You know what kind of doctor an oncologist is.”
Her words didn’t come out as a question. She knew better than to ask. Of course, he knew what kind of doctor she had to see the following week. “You know I do.”
He knelt on the ground beside her and read her mother’s name, birthday and date of death on the headstone. “Beloved Mother” was written at the bottom. And she had been beloved, not only by Callie, but all the people who knew her.
Swallowing the knot in his throat, he took Callie’s hand in his. She turned toward him, and he rubbed the top of her hand with his thumb. “I let you go once. I refuse to let that happen again.”
* * *
Callie stared into his deep eyes, honesty and love peering back at her. “I know. I panicked when I saw Dr. Coe get out of that car. I know what cancer looks like.”
Kirk lifted his chin, determination gleamed in his eye, but she still detected the hint of fear. “We’ll get through this.”
She smiled. “You’re right. One way or another, depending on how bad it is.”
Kirk shook his head. “Don’t talk like that. Everything will be fine. You’re—”
She lifted her free hand and placed her finger on his lips. “Kirk, you have to be ready for that.”
He pulled her hand down. Sincerity shone in his expression, and he lifted his chin, his telltale sign of an effort to keep his lip from quivering. “I’m gonna be honest. I’m scared.”
Tears filled her eyes. She loved this man. “I am, too.”
He pulled her into his arms, and for the first time since hearing the results of the test, she allowed herself to cry. Kirk’s arms were strong, his chest broad and firm, giving her the physical comfort she needed.
God, I’m sorry I freaked out. I know You have a plan. A sob caught in the back of her throat. But I want Your plan to include life here on earth with Kirk. She felt a slow grin lifting her lips. And as many kids as he wants.
“I wanna say a prayer for you, for us.”
Callie nodded, keeping her face pressed against his chest. She wrapped her arms around him as he spoke words of praise for God’s love and faith in his sovereignty. She squeezed him tight when his voice shook as he petitioned God to heal her and use the cancer as a means to bring Him glory.
When he finished the prayer, Callie lifted her head off his chest and sat back on her knees. Kirk gripped her hand as if he feared she’d run away if he let go. “So, what’s going to happen?”
She pursed her lips. “I’ll find out for sure next week.”
“We’ll find out for sure.”
Callie smiled. “My guess is they’ll perform a lumpectomy.”
He furrowed his brows.
She continued. “Surgery to remove the lump.”
He nodded, and she noticed his bottom lip moving, and she knew he chewed the inside of his mouth something fierce. “And that’s it? That’s not so bad, right?”
She shrugged. “I may have to have chemo and radiation.”
A shiver raced through her when she said the words aloud. The vomiting, nausea and weakness didn’t scare her. Though it hurt her vanity a bit, she wasn’t too upset about the knowledge that she’d probably lose her hair. She feared the look in his eyes when he saw her sickness and couldn’t do anything to help. She couldn’t count the times she’d prayed God would allow her to take her mother’s discomfort, if only for a day.
“Whatever it takes. We’ll do it together.” He stood, holding her hand up until she stood with him. “But I do believe it’s going to be okay, that you’re going to be healed. Completely.”
Callie didn’t know how to respond. She’d seen too much death to say she believed all would end well. Thinking clinically, she knew the odds were probably good. Her age and the small size of the lump should offer her a good prognosis.
We’re going to believe the best, but prepare for the worst. Her mom’s words during the last few years of her life wafted through her mind. Callie had spent so much time dealing with the worst, she hadn’t given a lot of thought to believing the best.
God, I’m going to believe the best first.
She kissed her fingertips then pressed them against the top of the headstone. Still holding Kirk’s hand, she turned and they walked back to the car and truck.
He whispered in her ear. “I’m not letting you drive back to the cabin.”
She crinkled her nose and gaped at him. “What?”
“There’s no way I’m going to chance you trying to hightail it out of here again.”
“I’m going back. I’d decided to go back to the farm the minute I parked the car.”
“Doesn’t matter. I’m not letting you go. Mom and Dad won’t mind coming back for your car.”
She stepped in front of him and put her hand on his chest. “Tell you what. I’ll go with you if we drive my car and you help me unpack all my stuff. They can come back and get your truck.”
Kirk groaned, and she had to bite back a laugh. She knew he didn’t like for anyone else to drive his precious F150. With a low growl, he mumbled, “Fine, but I’m driving.”
He opened the door for her, and she slipped inside. He got in the driver’s seat, and she handed him the keys. Studying her for a moment, he said, “What about the wedding?”
“I don’t know.” She touched the tip of her hair. “I want to have my hair in our wedding pictures, and I’d say the surgery will be pretty quick.”
A slow grin lifted his lips. “Then we’ll move up the date.”
“What?”
“You heard me. We’re definitely not going to postpone it.” He put the keys in the ignition. “We shouldn’t have any trouble telling the place we’ll need to switch dates.”
“Well, seeing as the wedding is at the farm, I’d say you’re right. The owners of our venue wouldn’t mind at all.”
Chapter 18
Callie sucked in a breath while Tammie tightened the bodice of the wedding dress.
“You doing okay?” asked Tammie.
Callie nodded. Almost two weeks had passed since the lumpectomy. She’d been diligent about wearing good support bras and completing the exercises the doctor prescribed. Her incision was healing nicely, and she’d had no complications.
They’d moved the wedding up a couple weeks, as the oncologist performed the lumpectomy the week she met with him. Since the doctor had gotten all the cancer with the first surgery, she’d start radiation treatments two days after the wedding.
Kirk promised they’d take a honeymoon once the treatments were complete and she felt up to it, but Callie didn’t care. All she wanted was to enjoy being married to Kirk and hear her doctor say the cancer was in full remission.
“All done. Let me see you.”
T
ammie moved to the front of Callie. She cupped her mouth with her hands, and her eyes brimmed with tears. She reached for Callie’s arm then pulled back. “Are you okay? Do I need to adjust anything?”
Callie shook her head. “I can’t believe how good I feel.” She lifted her hand. “Of course, I did just take a painkiller, and I am rather excited about the event. Later on, I may be whiny and weepy for your son, but right now, I feel pretty good.”
Tammie touched a spiral curl that draped down Callie’s cheek. “You whine and cry to that boy all you want. He won’t mind a bit.”
“So, may I see?”
Tammie harrumphed. “Of course, you can.”
Tammie moved out of the way, and Callie stepped in front of the full-length mirror.
“Wow.” The single word slipped through Callie’s lips. The dress was perfect, and her hair and makeup were just as beautiful. Pamela spent well over an hour spiral curling small strands of hair, and then pinning them up in the back. Several spirals framed her face and neck.
“Your mother would be so proud.”
Callie bit her bottom lip. She wished her mom could be here. Tammie would be a first-rate mother-in-law, but no one could take her mother’s place. “I miss her so much.”
“I know you do.” Tammie touched her cheek. “I’d put my arms around you but I don’t want to hurt you.”
Callie laughed. “Thank you for being so good to me.”
“I can’t replace your mom, and I’d never try, but I love you like one of my own children.”
Callie grabbed her hand and squeezed. “And I love you.”
“It’s about time to get started. Can I see her yet?”
Tammie opened the bedroom door to let Mike in. He let out a low whistle. “Aren’t you the most beautiful bride ever?”
“Dad, that’s what you said to me on my wedding day.” Pamela walked in the door, holding the bouquet of white roses.
“Well, you were the most beautiful bride, too.”
Pamela rolled her eyes. She handed Callie the flowers. “You look amazing.”
A Heart Healed Page 14