Rachel’s heart beat fast and hard. A flush crept up her face. She gathered her courage. Lord, help me. I don’t want to hurt Neil’s feelings.
Neil glanced toward the new house where his oldest daughter played with the other children. “There are so many things they need, things their mother could have done for them that I can’t.” He smiled. “I guess I’m not saying this very well.”
“Please, Neil . . .”
He held his hand up, stopping her interruption. “No, I’ve been made the spokesman so let me go ahead and if you say no, I’ll understand. That’s fair enough, isn’t it?”
Spokesman? For who? His children? Rachel nodded, dreading his next words. If Tommy had stayed this wouldn’t have happened. She’d have to tell him no.
“I’ve been talking to some of the others here and they all agree with me.”
Rachel’s gaze flew to his face. How could he? Talking about something so private with everyone else?
“Our children need more schooling than we can give them at home. We’ve all agreed—if you’ll do it—to pay ten dollars a term per child. There’s an abandoned claim with a cabin on it we could use for a schoolhouse. It’s not far from here. How about it? I’m sure you’d have several students.”
Weakness washed through Rachel’s body. She sucked in air, filling her lungs. She would not faint. He didn’t want to marry her. He wanted a teacher for the children. She’d run and hide her burning face if her knees would support her. Instead, she gave Neil a shaky smile. “I don’t know. I’ve never thought of teaching school. May I think about it and give you my answer later?”
Neil returned her smile. “Of course. Could you let us know tomorrow night before everyone leaves? They’d like to start as soon as possible and that would give them time to spread the word.”
Rachel nodded. “Yes, that would be fine.”
“Thanks, Rachel.” He turned away. “I’ll tell the others I’ve asked.”
Rachel hurried to find Katie.
“There’s not a scrap of paper to be found out here and no slates either. What did Mr. Douglas want?” Katie sank to the ground and patted the grass beside her. “Come on. Sit down and tell me about it.”
Rachel laughed. “Katie, you’ll never change, will you?”
Katie held her hands out to each side. “Do I need to?”
Love for the young woman sitting beside her filled Rachel’s heart. Katie’s smooth white skin and naturally-curling auburn hair created a beauty that was only skin deep. But Katie’s inner beauty shone through, and Rachel couldn’t be jealous of that.
“No, you’re fine the way you are. Mr. Douglas wanted me to teach school. What do you think? Should I?”
“It would give you some money of your own and something to do until Tommy comes to his senses. Do you want to?”
Rachel nodded. “Yes, I think I do. First, I need to talk to my parents.”
~*~
Rachel stood in the large room of her new home between Ma and Katie as Jed Spencer pulled a Jew’s harp from his pocket. “It ain’t much, but I ain’t much of a musician, neither.” He glanced around the new house. “We all worked hard and need a bit of relaxation before we leave.” He looked at Pa. “Would it offend you if I played a tune?”
“Of course not.” Pa looked around at those gathered there. “Thank you for the work you’ve done this week. We couldn’t have done it without you. Monday morning early we’ll be at Levi and Gladys Bartlett’s claim ready to do the same for them. I know you’re all anxious to go to your homes before dark, but if you can spare the time, find a place to sit and let’s sing a song of thanksgiving to our Lord. We have so much to be thankful for.”
“Amen.” Jed grinned at his wife. “Me and Clare think so.”
He lifted the harp to his mouth and the clear, sweet notes of Amazing Grace filled the small cabin. Twenty voices lifted in praise as they sang several songs before Jed stopped.
“I reckon that’s enough. We need a church out this way mighty bad.” He put his harp back in his pocket. “Reckon we need to pray harder. Our kids need more than we can give them.”
Neil stepped forward. “I’ve asked Rachel Morgan to consider taking on the job of school marm.” He met her gaze. “Have you had time to think about starting a school, Miss Morgan?”
Rachel flushed as everyone looked at her. “Yes, I talked to my parents and have their permission. I’d be glad to become the teacher for your children. If anyone has any books to share, I’m sure we can use them.”
Neil’s smile spread across his face. “Good. As soon as the Bartlett family is in their new cabin, we’ll clean up the Leison cabin for a school.” He turned to the others. “Pass the word. We’ll plan to start school in a couple of weeks. I think everyone knows where the Leison cabin is.”
Spencer nodded. “The widow Smith and her boy live just on the other side. Someone better tell her about this.” He grinned at Neil. “Maybe you’d like to do that.”
Neil shrugged. “I suppose I could.”
Katie pulled Rachel aside. “Come outside with me. Jason says we have to leave right away.”
As soon as they were away from the others, Katie linked her arm through Rachel’s. “I guess this is goodbye for a while. Jason starts work at the lumber yard in town Monday. We won’t get to come back and help with the Bartlett’s house.”
Rachel’s heart sank. Already she missed Katie. “It won’t seem right without you. Do you realize we’ve been together almost every day for the last six months? What will I do when I need to talk and you aren’t here?”
Katie sighed. “I know. I’m anxious to settle into a normal routine again, but I’ll miss you so much. You’ll come to town soon, won’t you?”
“I don’t know. Maybe by Christmas. Have you thought that far ahead? Do you have any plans?”
“Not really. I think Ma and Pa Taylor want everyone to come to their house. Jason is the same as their son, so I’m sure we’ll go, but they want your family and the Bartletts to come, too.”
“That sounds wonderful. I’m sure Ma and Pa will want to be there.”
“Rachel, I’m sorry I wasn’t able to show you how to read music.”
“That’s all right.” Rachel sighed. “I probably couldn’t have learned, anyway.”
“Yes, you could.” Katie gave her a hug. “Maybe at Christmas we’ll have more time.”
Susanna left the group of small children who were playing nearby and ran to Katie. “I’m going to Rachel’s school, Katie.”
Katie touched her little sister’s shoulder. “No, Suzy, we live too far away. You’ll have to go to the school in town.”
A pout settled on Susanna’s face. “I don’t want to go to that old school. I want to go to Rachel’s school.”
“There’s no way we can get you out here every day. I’m sorry.”
Susanna crossed her arms and frowned. “Then I’ll stay here. I want to live with Rachel.” She lifted her chin.
“I’m sure you’ll like the other school.” Rachel joined Katie in trying to explain to her.
She became more stubborn until she yelled. “No, you can’t make me.”
Jason hurried across the yard. “What’s wrong?”
Susanna grabbed Rachel’s hand. “I won’t go home with you. I’m going to Rachel’s school. I want Rachel.” The last word ended in a wail.
Jason knelt beside Susanna and stroked her arm. “Suzy, Katie and I love you and want you with us. Don’t act this way.”
Susanna held tighter. “I won’t go with you.”
Jason stood. “Susanna, we’re going home now, and you’re coming if I have to carry you.”
“No. You can’t make me go.”
“Susanna, let go of Rachel.”
She held with both hands. “You aren’t my daddy. I hate you.”
Jason took Susanna’s hands and pried them away from Rachel’s wrist. He carried her, kicking and screaming to the wagon.
Katie took Davy from Hannah a
nd followed without looking back.
~*~
Katie awoke on Monday morning with Susanna’s screams still echoing in her mind. Susanna would start school in town today. As Katie’s feet touched the floor, she breathed a quick prayer that there would be no further confrontation with her troubled, little sister.
Jason’s even breathing told her he was still sleeping. She dressed and tiptoed to the crib. Davy lay with his knees drawn up under his tummy. Both little hands were curled into fists on either side of his head. She straightened his covers, whispering, “You’d better not ever act like your big sister.”
She smoothed his red fluff of hair against his head. “You look just like Karl. I wonder if you’ll be like him.”
“I hope so.” Jason stood behind Katie. “Karl was a good kid.”
Katie leaned back against his chest. “I didn’t hear you get up.”
“I know. You’ve got a lot on your mind, don’t you?” His arms slipped around her.
Katie sighed. “I feel so small sometimes. I don’t understand why Mama died and left me with everything to do. How can I raise these children the way she would have?” She pulled away from Jason. “I can’t and I can’t play the organ, either. Tommy doesn’t understand.”
As tears filled her eyes, Katie swung toward the door. “I’ll go start breakfast. You don’t want to be late for work your first day.”
Katie crossed the sitting room to the kitchen. Susanna was still in bed with the covers pulled up until only the top of her blond head could be seen. She’d put bacon on before disturbing her.
The fire started easily with the mix of seasoned and green wood Jason brought back from the Morgan’s. Katie sliced bacon and placed it in the skillet. A tantalizing aroma soon filled the cabin. Still Susanna slept. Katie put a pan of water on the stove. While she waited for it to boil, she went to check on Susanna.
“Suzy, time to get up.” She touched the small rise in the quilt and shook gently. There was no response. “Suzy, get up.” Still no response.
Katie pulled the covers back and two large blue eyes looked at her. “Susanna, why didn’t you answer me? It’s time to—”
“Oh, Suzy.” Her voice came on in a strangled sob. She jerked Susanna from bed, grabbed her shoulders and turned her around. Except for one untouched lock in the back, Susanna’s waist-length hair had been whacked off, leaving it jagged and uneven. In places it reached her shoulders; the front stuck out just inches below her ears.
Susanna twisted from Katie’s grasp. A gleam shone from her eyes as she looked up at her older sister. “Now I can’t go to school.”
Golden hair lay in a pile on the floor by Susanna’s bed. A wounded sound escaped Katie’s lips as she reached, her hand trembling for the symbol of her little sister’s rebellion. Scooping up the hair, she sobbed broken-heartedly into its softness.
All the fear of her responsibilities rose to the surface with her tears. How could she deal with Susanna? She’d been such a sweet little girl. Why was she so hard to handle now?
A gentle touch lifted her chin until she looked into Jason’s face. “Are you all right?”
Katie nodded letting the hair fall back to the floor. “I don’t understand.”
Jason turned to Susanna, his face stern with brows drawn together. “Why did you do this?”
Tears mingled with fear in Susanna’s eyes. Then, as if a mask dropped into place, defiance returned. “You won’t let me go to Rachel’s school. Now I can’t go anywhere.”
Jason picked up the scissors from the floor. “That’s where you’re wrong.” He pointed. “March yourself over to that chair and sit down.”
Susanna hesitated a moment before Jason’s steely gaze. Her head lowered as she obeyed.
Jason helped Katie stand. “I’ll fix her hair if you don’t feel up to it.”
At that moment, the smell of burned meat penetrated Katie’s senses and she ran toward the kitchen. “Oh, no, the bacon.”
Jason called to her. “I took it off the stove. Why don’t you start a new batch?”
Katie turned at the door. “Thank you, Jason. What would I do without you?”
His smile warmed her as she busied herself in the kitchen and tried to ignore the snipping sounds. Not a peep came from Susanna.
As she lifted the cooked bacon from the skillet, Jason stuck his head through the doorway. “Come see what you think.”
Soft curls framed Susanna’s sullen face. Her hair sloped gradually longer until in back it reached slightly past shoulder length.
Katie placed a plate of perfectly-browned bacon on the table. “It will take years before it’s as beautiful as it once was, but I’m amazed how nice it looks. Where did you learn to cut hair?”
Jason grinned. “Before my mother died, she cut my hair. After that, I cut my own. I figured if I could cut my own hair, I could cut someone else’s.”
“You’ve done a good job. Now Susanna can go to school without looking like a scarecrow.”
Susanna remained subdued all through breakfast, but when Davy’s cries summoned Katie to the bedroom, she swallowed her last bite of food and followed.
“My hair’s ugly.”
Katie lifted Davy from his bed. “If it is, it’s your fault.”
Susanna frowned. “Everyone will make fun of me.”
“You should’ve thought of that before you cut your hair.” Katie laid the baby on the bed.”
“I can stay home and help you take care of Davy.”
“No, Suzy. You need to go to school. Besides I don’t need help with Davy.” Katie sat on the bed beside the baby and caught one kicking foot in her hand. She smiled at him. “If you want your diaper changed, you better keep that foot still.”
As she shook his foot, Davy’s mouth spread wide. “You’re a good boy, aren’t you?”
“No, he’s not.” Susanna’s face grew red and twisted. “You’re not a good sister, either. I hate you and I hate Jason.” She ran to the door and looked back. “I hate Davy, too.”
Jason stepped behind Susanna, blocking her exit. “Are you ready to go to school now?”
“No.” Her lower lip stuck out.
Jason stepped around her to the bed. He leaned over and kissed Davey’s forehead, setting off both feet and arms and getting a chortle in response. Jason and Katie laughed and shared a quick kiss. “Thank you, Jason. Have a good day.”
“I’ll see you at noon.” He took Susanna’s hand and led her outside.
Katie’s eyebrows drew together as she watched them go. Susanna deserved a spanking for what she did, but they’d handled the situation the best way possible. Being embarrassed about her looks might be all she needed.
Tears burned Katie’s eyes as she changed Davy’s diaper. She and Jason were newlyweds, yet she felt like an old woman with the weight of the world on her shoulders. Since their wedding night, they had not been alone for one minute. Susanna was becoming increasingly hard to handle. Davy was a sweet, docile baby, but even the responsibility of caring for him became difficult at times. There seemed to be a never ending supply of diapers and baby clothes to wash and she constantly had to fix bottles for him.
At the thought of the laundry, Katie dried her tears. She had no time to feel sorry for herself. As soon as she fed Davy, the wash had to be done. While she rocked and gave Davy his bottle, her eyes fell on Jason’s Bible lying on the table beside her. She read from the open page. “There remaineth therefore a rest to the people of God.”
What a wonderful statement. Rest when peace seemed so far from her heart. She read on. “Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.”
Katie’s conscience pricked. When was the last time she had come to the throne of grace? She’d been so busy and tired all the time that it had been weeks since she’d taken time for more than a few whispered words of prayer.
On the trail they’d been busy, yet Mama always found time to study God’s Word and pra
y. Was that her secret? Nothing ever shook Mama’s calm dignity. She’d taken the loss of their home in stride. Her grief when Karl and Dad died had been tempered by inner peace.
Katie put the sleeping baby in his crib and slipped to the floor by her bed. She leaned her forehead against the cool leather cover of Jason’s Bible and poured out her heart to God. “There’s so much, Lord, I don’t know if I can bear it. The children and Susanna’s rebellion. What can I do with her and with Tommy? He wants me to play the organ at church, but I don’t know if I can. I miss Karl and Dad, but mostly Mama.”
Tears flowed. “Why did You take Mama from me when I need her so much? Why did she have to die?” Katie finally struggled to her feet, her tears spent, but her spirit calm.
She set to work gathering dirty clothes and sang softly the words of Amazing Grace. It had been a long time since she’d felt like singing. One song led to another as she scrubbed the laundry, fixed the noon meal, and cared for Davy.
When Jason came home at noon, he brought Susanna with him. “We forgot to send food with her this morning.”
Susanna stomped across the floor and plopped on her bed. “It’s a dumb old school.”
Her mood had obviously not changed. Katie placed fried pork and beans with cornbread on the table. “Let’s eat. Maybe it’ll be better this afternoon.” She smiled at Jason. “I’ve about got the washing done.”
Jason looked toward the tub of soapy water resting on two chairs turned to face each other. A washboard stuck out of the water. A tub of rinse water sat on the floor. “I see you’ve been busy. I noticed the clothes on the line when we came in.”
After he prayed, they ate, and Jason talked about his new job. “I’ll be glad to claim my own land, but I’m thankful to have work through the winter.”
“Yes, God is good.” Katie thought of her time spent in prayer and decided she would continue doing that each morning. The noon hour passed quickly.
Jason stood and held his hand out. “Come on, Suzy. Time to go.”
Katie accepted Jason’s kiss, but when they parted Suzy turned away and ran outside.
Jason shrugged and followed her.
Katie watched from the door as they went down the road then she turned back to finish the wash.
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