Susanna stomped to the door, her golden curls bouncing. Katie grabbed a bonnet. “Wait, Suzy. It’s raining. Put this over your head.”
Susanna turned to Katie. “When you write to Rachel, will you tell her I’ll see her soon?”
“Of course, but I don’t know how soon we’ll be able to go out there.”
Susanna ran across the room. “Tell her anyway.”
Katie looked at Jason. He shrugged and walked her to the door. She kissed her little sister’s forehead. “All right. I’ll tell her.”
Katie accepted Jason’s kiss then watched him leave with Susanna. What were they going to do with her? Another sigh escaped before Katie turned from the door. Davy had to be taken care of, and she wanted to write that letter to Rachel.
By the time Davy was fed and changed, Katie barely had time to scrawl her letter before a wagon stopped in front. She rushed to the door, opening it for Tommy. “It’s still raining, isn’t it?”
He grinned. “You might as well get used to that, little sister. They say this country gets a lot more rain than Missouri.” He looked around the room. “Where’s my little brother?”
“Right over there perfectly content to play with his toes.”
Tommy crossed the room and scooped Davy from Susanna's bed. “He’s content when I pick him up, too.”
“You’re going to spoil him the way you grab him every time you come over.”
Tommy nuzzled Davy’s neck and baby chortles filled the room. “Don’t worry. We’re just playing. How could that spoil him?”
Katie folded her paper. “I’ve got a letter ready to go to Rachel. Is she expecting you today?”
“Sort of. She didn’t know which day, but I told her I’d be back in two weeks.” His brows drew together. “I wonder if she’s started teaching that school.”
“Why? Don’t you want her to?”
Tommy shrugged. “I’m wondering why Mr. Douglas didn’t ask until after I left.”
Katie laughed. “He probably didn’t know it would matter to you. After all, you aren’t married yet. His concern was probably with his children, rather than your feelings.”
Tommy settled Davy in his arms. “You didn’t see the way he looked at her. When I got there he was standing beside her with his children. What was he doing? Trying to form a little family group?”
“You’re jealous.” Katie’s laughter rang out. “If you want to keep Mr. Douglas away from Rachel why don’t you go ahead and marry her?”
Tommy laid his baby brother back on the bed and stood. “We’ve talked about it. I’ve explained about my work. There’s so much to learn and I’m gone for days at a time when I visit the Indian villages. What kind of life would that be for Rachel?”
“You could start a church in her school. If there are enough children for a school, there are enough families for a church.”
Tommy looked at Katie. “I could, and maybe I will later. But for now I believe God wants me to minister to the Indians.”
“I can’t believe you’re putting a bunch of wild savages ahead of Rachel.” Katie swung away and crossed her arms.
Tommy sighed. “Where’s the letter, Katie? I’ve got to go.”
She grabbed it up and thrust it at him. He could be so stubborn.
~*~
Tommy stuffed Katie’s letter in his pocket and climbed onto the seat of the borrowed wagon letting his gaze sweep over the tarp-covered load in back. A sharp wind ruffled the tarp and cooled his cheek. He needed to get on the road before he froze in the damp air. Thankfully, the rain had stopped.
His conversation with Katie played through his mind. He’d been over this with Rachel enough. Why’d his sister have to interfere? Did she think he liked leaving Rachel out there with Mr. Douglas next door? He wasn't jealous. He trusted Rachel. It was that lonesome widower with the quick smile that he didn’t trust.
He missed Rachel. Two weeks seemed like a year. Eleven miles wasn’t far. Midnight could make that distance in no time. Maybe he could squeeze in some time to see her more often. It wouldn’t hurt to try. But he had to minister to the Indians. It was important.
To them, or to you?
Tommy swung around half expecting to find someone on the seat beside him. Of course, no one was there, but the question had sounded so real in his mind. He lifted his gaze to the clouds above. Lord, are You trying to tell me something?
Nothing.
He gave a laugh he didn’t feel and flicked the reins. Katie and Rachel ganging up on him was giving him ideas. Of course, his work with the Indians was God’s work. What could he possibly get out of it other than the blessing of obeying his calling? He was giving up time he valued with Rachel. Putting off their wedding was as hard on him as it was her. His work was important.
He whistled a bit of his favorite song, Amazing Grace. God had done so much for him, how could he neglect doing his share in return. The rest of the ride, he spent thinking about the scripture he planned to use Sunday. Pastor Blackstone had asked him to preach at the church in town. He looked forward to it.
Tommy pulled the wagon into the Morgan’s yard and stopped near the house. Bill was chopping firewood.
He waved and leaned his axe against a stump. “Good to see you, Tommy. Come in and warm up.”
Anne held the door open, a welcoming smile on her face. “Do you need some dry clothes to put on?”
“No, thanks. I brought some with me. I figured I’d be soaked by the time I got here.” He looked past her. “Where’s Rachel? Is she still at school?”
“Yes. This is already the end of her first week of teaching.”
“I’ll get those clothes to put on.” Tommy went to the back of the wagon. “I have a delivery for you. Would you like to see it now?”
Anne hurried from the house. “Of course. I’ve been looking forward to getting it. I was afraid to ask. Afraid it might not have come.”
Tommy grabbed the tarp on the back of his wagon and threw it back.
“Oh, my!” Anne’s hand flew to her mouth to stifle a gasp.
“Well, what have we here?” Bill asked.
Tommy stared at his little sister curled in a tight ball between a large box of groceries and the new stove.
Tears ran down her dirty cheeks from wide, sad-looking eyes. “I want Ma.”
Chapter 10
Tommy bit back the reprimand that sprang to his lips. The pitiful look in Susanna’s eyes brought his grief for the loss of their parents forward. She was a little girl. How could she understand all that had happened to them? She surely hurt even more than he did. He pulled the tailgate out, sat on the edge of the wagon, and reached for his sister. “Suzy, how did you get here? Katie said you were at school.”
She snuggled into his arms. “I didn’t go in. When Jason wented away, I walked home and waited for you.”
“How’d you get into the wagon? I didn’t see you.”
“You were in the house.”
Tommy thought of the movement in the tarp that he’d attributed to the wind. It had been Suzy all along. “But why? Aren’t Katie and Jason good to you?”
Susanna shrugged. “I guess.”
“Why’d you run away?”
Susanna stiffened and frowned. “Katie’s not my mama, and Jason’s not my daddy.”
Her words stuck a sharp pain through his heart. “I know that, Suzy. Mama and Daddy are gone. We have to learn to live without them and do the best we can.”
Susanna crossed her thin arms and frowned. “Rachel has a mama and a daddy. Why can’t they be my mama and daddy, too?”
“Oh, Tommy.”
He glanced up at Anne’s outcry. Her eyes filled with tears.
Her husband drew her close. “Let’s all go inside so Tommy can get dry.”
Tommy lifted his little sister and carried her to the house with Rachel’s parents following.
Anne fussed over Susanna while Tommy took his dry clothing into the bedroom and changed. When he came out, Susanna sat at the table with
sweet bread and a glass of milk.
Anne ran her hand over the little girl’s hair as she moved away. The longing in her eyes spoke clearly to him. She’d welcome his little sister into her family.
Would Bill? Tommy turned to his future father-in-law and saw the same longing in his eyes, only he appeared to be watching his wife. Did he want Susanna or did he want to make his wife happy? Tommy rubbed his forehead. What should he do?
Bill turned toward him and motioned. “The rain has slacked off now. Why don’t we step outside and talk for a moment?”
Tommy nodded and with a quick glance at his sister followed Bill to the door. Susanna seemed happy now. She didn’t look up when they left. Was she only wanting her way, or did she need the attention of an older woman closer to Mama’s age?
Bill stopped by the wagon and leaned his arm along one side. He met Tommy’s gaze with a steady look. “You understand what’s going on, don’t you?”
“Yes, I think so.” Tommy studied the ground at his feet. “Just before Mama died, she said Suzy should be allowed to choose where she lives. I thought she meant between Katie and me, but maybe she meant more than that. I know she loved you both very much.”
He swallowed the lump in his throat, or tried to, then looked up into Bill’s watchful eyes. “She would approve of you taking Suzy as your own. If Suzy wants you to, if Katie gives her okay, and if you decide this is really what you want, I’d like for you to keep Suzy a week or so. If after that, you and she want to make the arrangement more permanent, we’ll talk about legal adoption. For now, let’s make this a temporary visit.”
Bill’s serious expression relaxed as a grin spread across his face. He stuck out his hand and Tommy took it in a firm handshake.
~*~
Katie bundled Davy against the cool, damp air before starting to school for Susanna. Holding him securely in his cloth carrier, she left the house. Already, at only three months, Davy was outgrowing the sturdy cloth sling she’d carried him in since he was a newborn.
“What will I do with you when you’re too big to ride this way?” Katie shifted his weight to a more comfortable position and smiled into the bright eyes that looked back at her. An answering smile spread his mouth and both arms and legs jerked in delight.
Katie laughed. “You’re such a sweet baby. I wish Suzy . . .”
She couldn’t finish the thought. What was the use? Susanna had problems she didn’t know how to deal with. Lord, help us find the way.
Children poured from the schoolhouse doors as she reached the path leading to it. Susanna didn’t seem to be among them. Oh, surely she didn’t get into trouble and have to stay in. She hesitated before pulling the door open and stepping inside.
Miss Watson sat at her desk busy with papers. She looked up. “Mrs. Barnett, how nice to see you. How is Susanna?”
Katie stared at her. “I didn’t see her with the other children. I thought maybe she was still inside with you.”
Miss Watson’s eyebrows drew together. “Mrs. Barnett, Susanna hasn’t been in school all day. I assumed she was ill.”
A chill passed through Katie’s body. “I don’t understand. My husband brought Susanna to school this morning. She hasn’t been home all day.”
The teacher rose from her desk and pushed a chair toward Katie. “Please, sit down.”
Katie sank onto the chair as her legs gave out. “Where is she?”
“Do you know of any reason why Susanna might run away? Perhaps you had to discipline her? Children sometimes become angry over seemingly nothing.”
Katie shook her head. “No, she’s been better behaved than usual. I’ve tried to be a mother to Suzy, but it isn’t easy. She resents my authority.”
Katie stood. “I don’t have time to talk. I’ve got to find her. What will happen to her if she’s still out after dark? Jason needs to know.”
Miss Watson opened the door for Katie. “Of course, I’ll alert some others to help us look. Don’t worry. I’m sure we’ll find her if she doesn’t show up on her own.”
~*~
Katie did worry, though.
Jason held her close and kissed her temple. “Worry is not of God, Katie. Trust Him to lead us to her.”
A deep sigh racked her body. “I’ll try.” She couldn’t help worrying. Susanna was so little. “Could it have been Indians? They could’ve grabbed her from the schoolyard.”
Jason rested his chin on her head. “No, that’s unlikely.” He pulled away. “I’ve got to go. The men are waiting. We’ll be combing the area. While we’re finding her, the best thing you can do is pray. Promise me you will?”
Katie nodded.
He looked deep into her eyes then lowered his head for a sweet kiss. “I love you, Katie. We’ll find her.”
Without waiting for her response, he turned and stepped out the door closing it behind him.
“Jason.” His name tore from her, and she reached then dropped her hand. “Lord, help them find her.”
Tears filled her eyes. She turned away and paced across the room and back. For two hours Katie walked the floor with no word. Already the light of day grew dim. How could Susanna survive alone in the dark? She was so small and vulnerable.
Katie blew her nose then lifted her head and listened. The pounding of horse hooves sounded outside. She ran to the door and threw it open.
Tommy met her on the porch.
“Tommy, Suzy’s gone.”
“No, Katie.” Tommy grabbed his sister’s arms, forcing her to listen to him. “She’s all right. She’s with Rachel’s parents.”
Katie’s head whirled. “What?”
Tommy led her to Susanna’s bed and sat beside her. “Suzy stowed away in my wagon this morning. I didn’t know she was there until I took the tarp off to unload.”
He told what happened and what Susanna wanted. “Mr. and Mrs. Morgan want her, too, Katie. She’s young and needs parents. I don’t think either of us will ever be able to fill that place because we’ll always be her brother and sister. What do you think? I suggested adoption. They won’t keep her from us. We’ll still be family.”
Katie stared at Tommy as he repeated, “What do you think?”
Laughter poured from her lips. She laughed until the tears rolled down her cheeks. She couldn’t stop and that frightened her. Tommy stared at her with wide eyes. She’d scared him. Gasping for breath, she buried her face in her hands on her knees until the laughter stopped. Then she started to cry.
Tommy got up and went into the kitchen. He came back with the water dipper. “Here, drink this and you’ll feel better.”
She drank and handed it back. “Thank you.”
He pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and held it out. “Can you tell me what you think or do you need more time?”
“We’ve got to get word to Jason. He’s out looking for her. Other men are, too.”
“All right.” Tommy stepped to the door. “I’ll find him and we’ll talk. I need an answer from you both.”
Katie nodded as he closed the door behind him. All at once her strength fled and she collapsed against the back of the sofa. Susanna was all right. She’d run away from home to find a new mother and father. The house seemed so quiet with her gone. How could she give her little sister away? Lord, thank you for protecting her. Help us know what to do. Katie lifted her eyes toward the ceiling and visualized her mother. “Mama, you said for Suzy to choose her own place to live. Is this what you had in mind? Is it all right with you?”
No answer came, but strength returned as she stood and looked in on Davy then headed toward the kitchen. Now she knew Susanna was okay, maybe she could concentrate on cooking.
By the time Jason and Tommy returned, Katie had supper on the table and Davy fed.
When they finished eating, Tommy pushed his chair back from the table. “We need to talk.”
“I don’t know, Tommy.” Katie began. “I’ve prayed and prayed, and I can’t decide what Mama would want.”
“I don’t t
hink Mama knew how much trouble Suzy could cause you.” He held up his hand when she opened her mouth. “Don’t tell me otherwise. I know she’s been giving you fits. I’ve seen it.”
Jason grinned and nodded. “But to be fair to Suzy, she’s been through a lot. She’s a good little girl inside. With the right conditions and a lot of love, she’ll come through this.”
Katie sighed. “I feel like I’m failing Mama.”
“Look, Katie.” Tommy leaned on the table. “Didn’t Mama say Suzy should choose where she wanted to live?”
“Yes, but I thought she meant with me or you.”
“She didn’t say that.”
Katie stared at the half-eaten food on her plate.
Tommy’s gaze locked with hers. “How can you fail Mama when you provide the best home possible for Suzy? She wants a mother and she wants you to be her sister just like you’ve always been. What’s wrong with that?”
Tears filled Katie’s eyes, and she brushed at them. “It isn’t just Suzy. It’s the organ, too.”
“The organ.” Tommy’s eyebrows lifted. He shook his head and exchanged a puzzled look with Jason.
“Yes, the organ. You keep pushing me to play and I can’t. I can’t practice. I can’t take care of Suzy. She won’t even listen to me. I’ve tried so hard. But the organ. It sounded loud and horrible. Mama tried to show me how and she went away.” Katie folded her arms on the table and let the tears flow. Her voice came out muffled. “Tommy, she disappeared. It was a dream—a nightmare—and I don’t know what it means.”
Tommy slipped from his chair and knelt beside her. His hand massaged her shoulder. “Why don’t you start at the beginning and tell us what you’re talking about. What dream?”
Katie lifted her head and wiped her eyes. “Ever since you asked me to play at church, I’ve had an unreasonable fear. It’s as if the organ is tied into losing Mama. I don’t know why. I just know if I try to play, I’ll fail just as I’ve failed with Suzy. I have dreams about it. About horrible noises coming from the organ when I try. Then Mama comes and she makes sweet music flow from the keys.”
She paused for breath. “I’ve gone to the church several times to practice, but I can’t. I stand outside for a while and leave.
Home's Promise (Oregon Trail) Page 9