by Diana Palmer
couldn't stop. Did she understand? Then, afterward, he'd wanted to make amends in the only way possible. He knew he'd given her pleasure,
but would it be enough to make up for what he'd taken?
She turned her face away with a faint sigh and he left her. There would be time enough in the morning for talking, for explanations and
apologies.
Jane was stiff and sore when she woke up. She opened her eyes and blinked from the brightness, and then she remembered. She sat up in bed,
flushing with memories that made her feel hot all over.
She moved the top sheet away and grimaced at the betraying faint stains on the bottom one. She got out of bed and stripped away the
sheet, throwing it on the floor, and her gown and briefs along with it. She went into the bathroom and showered herself from head to toe before
she dressed in jeans and a round-neck yellow T-shirt and sneakers. Then she bundled up the laundry and put it into the washing machine,
starting the load before Meg came in.
"Hey, that's my job," Meg complained gaily when she got home and found the drier running and another load of clothes going through
the spin cycle in the washer.
"I didn't have anything to do," Jane said with a poker face and a smile. "Everyone's gone for the weekend except Todd. He was late
getting in last night. He took Micki Lane
to a dance."
"She's pretty," Meg said, frowning. "I thought maybe you liked him."
She shrugged. "He's very nice. I think he's a great accountant."
Nice. Meg sighed mentally at her dashed dreams of a romance
between the two of them, and shooed her charge out of the kitchen while she saw to lunch.
But when Meg put it on the table, Todd still hadn't come to the house. Jane had been dreading it since dawn, uncertain of how she was going to
face him. She was ashamed and embarrassed and a little afraid of having him taunt her with her helplessness.
"Where's Todd?" Meg asked when she had the salad and bread on the table.
"I don't know. I haven't seen him today," Jane said.
"It isn't like him to miss lunch." She went to the window and looked out. "His car's gone."
"Maybe he had a date with Micki today," Jane ventured, not looking up.
"Wouldn't he have said?"
lane smiled. "He doesn't have to report to us."
"I guess not. Well, I'll call Tim and we'll eat."
It was a brief, pleasant lunch. Meg talked about their daughter and the distant cousin who'd come to visit. And if Jane was unusually silent,
it went unremarked if not unno-ticed.
Just before dark, Todd drove up with Cherry. Obviously, Jane thought, he'd gone up to Victoria to get her even though she'd said she was
going to take the bus. Perhaps he was as uncomfortable as Jane now, only wanting to forget what had happened and needful of putting some
space between them.
She was sitting on the sofa watching the news when they came in.
"How was your weekend?" Jane asked Cherry.
"Not very pleasant," Cherry said, without saying why. She smiled at Jane. "You look pale. Are you okay?"
She had to fight not to look at Todd. "I'm fine. I've had a lazy day."
"I need to check some figures. I'll take the books back
over to the house with the, if you don't mind," he said, addressing Jane for the first time, his tone formal and remote.
"Of course," she said to his chin and even smiled. "Have you both eaten?"
"We had supper on the way," Todd said shortly. He went to get the books and came back with them tucked under one arm. "Say good-night,
Cherry."
"Good night," the girl said obediently, aware of a new tension between the two adults in her life. She was too sensitive to mention it,
though. And anyway, her dad had been quiet and unapproachable. Probably, she thought sadly, there had been another argument. It saddened her
that her father and her new friend couldn't get along.
Jane called good-night and went back to her television program. She hadn't looked directly at Todd, or he at her. She wondered if things would
ever be the same again.
The builders worked diligently at the repairs and finished right on schedule. Inspecting the new barn, Jane was amazed at their progress. It was
a good job, too, not a slipshod effort.
The next step was to buy brood mares. Jane and Cherry went with Todd to an auction at a well-known horse ranch outside Corpus Christi.
Todd and Jane looked at the catalog, not at each other, and Cherry enthused over each horse as it was led into the rink.
Jane had an excellent eye for horseflesh. Before her father's death, even he had deferred to her on buying trips. Todd quickly realized her
ability, and he followed her father's example. They bought three good brood mares and a colt with excellent bloodlines. Todd arranged for
them to be transported to the ranch and rejoined Cherry and Jane.
"Can we stop and get an ice cream on the way back?" Cherry asked, wiping away sweat. "It's awfully hot!"
"If Jane isn't too tired," he said stiffly.
"I'm fine," she said carelessly, putting an affectionate arm
around Cherry. She was walking without her crutches now, although not as quickly as before. Two or three times, she'd had to fight the impulse
to get on her horse and ride like the wind. Perhaps that was a realizable dream, but not just yet.
"Then we'll stop down the road a bit," Todd replied.
There was a small ice cream shop in a stand of mesquite trees, just off the main road. Although it was a bit isolated, there were plenty of cars
surrounding it, and the small picnic area was full.
"We can sit under the trees," Cherry said. "Jane and I will grab the seats while you get the ice cream, Dad. I want a chocolate shake."
His head turned and he looked at Jane. "What would you like?" he asked politely.
"I'll have the same, thanks," she said, avoiding his eyes. She turned and walked away with Cherry.
Todd watched her hungrily. He'd handled the whole situation badly, and now he didn't know what to do. His con-science had tortured him
over the past few days. He didn't sleep at night for it. He hadn't exactly forced her to do something she didn't want to, but she'd wanted him to
stop and he couldn't. He'd taken away her right to give her chastity to a man she married. She might have loved him once, but he no longer
thought she cared at all. She wouldn't look at him. If he came into a room, she found an excuse to leave it. She was subdued and withdrawn
except when Cherry was around. And it was his fault. If only he hadn't touched her in the first place.
The man asked him again for his order and he snapped back to the present long enough to give it. He took the paper tray of milkshakes
when the man came back and paid for them.
Minutes later, the three of them were sitting under the tree with the breeze playing in Jane's hair, sipping the cold, refreshing shakes.
"Don't you love chocolate?" Cherry said enthusiastically.
Jane smiled at her. "Yes, but it doesn't love the. Sometimes it gives the migraines."
"Why the hell didn't you say so?" Todd demanded angrily.
She glanced at him, startled by the venom in his tone. "I love chocolate."
"Which is no reason to deliberately bring on a headache."
She glared back at him. "I'll eat what I like. You're not my keeper!"
"Uh, what do you think of the colt, Jane?" Cherry interrupted quickly.
"What?" She was staring into Todd's furious eyes and he was staring back. The anger slowly began to fade, to be replaced by something
equally violent, simmering, smoldering hot.
Cherry hid a smile. "I'll get some more napkins," she said
.
Neither of them seemed to notice her leaving. Jane's face was getting redder by the second, and Todd's eyes narrowed until they were gray
slits, full of heat and possession.
His hand reached out and caught hers hungrily. "Shall we stop pretending that nothing happened?" he asked roughly.
Chapter 7
Jane felt his fingers contracting, intimately interlacing them-selves with her own. She couldn't quite breathe normally, and her eyes were giving
her feelings away.
"We've been dancing around it for days," he said huskily. He held her eyes searchingly. "I still want you," he added heavily. "More than
ever."
She tore her gaze from his and looked down at their hands. "It shouldn't have happened."
"I know," he said surprisingly. "But it did. I've never had it that good, Jane. I think you and I could have a very satisfying
relationship.''
She looked up, but that wasn't love in his eyes. It was hunger, certainly. But it was an empty hunger. "You mean, we could have an
affair," she said quietly.
He nodded, dashing her faint hopes of something more. "I've tried marriage," he said bitterly. "I don't believe in it anymore. But you can't
deny that we go up like fireworks when we're together. There won't be any consequences, any repercussions."
"What about Cherry?" she asked stiffly. "Cherry's fourteen," he replied. "She knows that I'm no monk. She doesn't expect fairy-tale
endings."
Her sad eyes searched his. "Doesn't she? I'm afraid that I do." She withdrew her hands from his.
His eyebrows arched. "You aren't serious, surely? You don't expect to marry a man and stay married for life, do you?" he added with a
mocking laugh.
"Yes, I do, despite what...what happened the other night," she replied, her chin lifted proudly. "I'll be honest with him about it. But I
do believe in love and I think people can stay together if they have common interests and they're willing to work at it."
He sat up straight, his mouth tightened into a thin line "You don't think Marie and I worked at it?" he asked in a dangerously soft voice.
"It takes two people, committed..."
"Committed is the right word," he said on a harsh laugh. "People who get married should be committed!"
She saw then that his mind was closed on the subject, and all her hopes fell away. She smiled sadly. "I'm sorry. I don't have a bad marriage
behind the, and I still believe in fairy tales. I don't want to have an affair with you, Todd."
His eyes glittered narrowly. "You loved what I did to you."
She shrugged, although it took her last bit of courage, and she smiled. "Sure I did. It was wonderful. Thanks."
He looked positively outraged. His high cheekbones flushed angrily and he opened his mouth to speak as Cherry came back with a
handful of napkins.
"Here you go," she said, putting them down. "Isn't it nice here in the shade?"
Todd bit off what he was going to say. He finished his milkshake and got up. "We'd better get back," he said curtly. "I've got a lot of
paperwork to catch up."
"But, Dad..." Cherry protested. She grimaced at the look he shot her. "Okay, okay, sorry!" She finished her milkshake with a wistful smile at
Jane, and they all went back to the The next few days were strained. Jane watched Cherry work with Feather and she conferred with Micki
Lane about the plans for the advertising campaign.
"We'll need some publicity shots," Micki told her. "When can you come up to Victoria to do them?"
Jane picked a day and Micki offered to come and get her. "No, thanks," Jane said, "I'll have one of the hands run the up." She couldn't bear
to see Micki with Todd.
"Oh. Well, okay," Micki said sadly. "How's Todd? I haven't heard from him lately."
"He's fine. Working hard, of course," she added matter-of-factly. "They're just finished putting up our new barn and he's been working
closely with the contractor."
"I see," Micki said. She sounded happier. "I guess it lakes up a lot of time, hmm?"
"A lot." More than he gave any other project, she thought, and probably it was just an excuse to keep out of Jane's way. Even Cherry was
complaining about the fervor with which her father had approached the barn building and repairs.
"Then I'll see you Friday, yes?" Micki asked.
"Friday at nine," Jane agreed.
She didn't mention her trip to Todd or Cherry. She could ask Tim to drive her up, she was sure.
Meanwhile, she had to go to Dr. Coltrain for her checkup. He tested her reflexes, listened to her heart and lungs, checked her blood pressure
and asked a dozen questions before he pronounced her blooming.
"Except for those bags under your eyes," he added, his piercing blue eyes on her drawn face. "Burke getting you down?"
She glared at him. "Todd Burke is none of your business."
He grinned at her. "I'm not blind, even if you are."
"What do you mean?"
"Oh, you'll find out one day." He leaned back in his chair and swiveled around. "Don't take it too fast, but I think you could start walking
more."
"How about riding?"
He hesitated. "Slowly," he said. "For brief periods, and not on any of your usual mounts. That palomino gelding is gentle enough, I
suppose. But don't overdo it."
"Bracket is gentle," she assured him. "He'd never toss the.
"Any horse will toss you under the right circumstances, and you know it."
She'd forgotten that he practically grew up on horseback. He rode as well as she did—better. He'd done some rodeo to help put himself
through medical school.
"I'll be careful," she promised him.
"What's this I hear about you selling clothes?" he asked suddenly.
She grinned. "Meg told your mother, didn't she?" she asked. "I thought she would. I'm going to endorse a line of women's Western wear.
It's very well made and I'll be on television and in magazines promoting it. In fact," she added, "I'm going up to Victoria on Friday to do the
publicity photos for the magazines."
"How are you going to get there?"
"I thought I'd ask Tim..."
"Ask the," he said with a slash of a grin. "I'm driving up to confer on a leukemia case at the hospital there. The patient is one of mine
who moved away. You can ride with the.
"I may be mere all day," she warned.
He shrugged. "I'll find something to keep the busy."
She smiled broadly. "Then I'd love to. Thanks."
"I'll pick you up at the ranch about eight-thirty. We can stop lor coffee on the way."
"Okay. I'll look forward to it." How did you get here?"
'' Meg dropped the off on her way to the grocery store. She'll be waiting in the parking lot. She only had a few things to get."
"Why didn't Burke bring you?" he asked.
She flushed. "Because I didn't ask him to!"
He pursed his lips. "I see."
She stood up. "No, you don't. Thanks for the ride. I'll see you in the morning."
"Jane."
She paused at the doorway, turning to meet his level gaze.
ho you need to ask the anything?"
She went scarlet, because she knew exactly what he meant. "No," she whispered huskily, "I do not!"
"Okay. No need to color up," he said gently, and smiled with affection. "But I'm here if you need the, and I'm not judgmental."
She drew in a slow breath. "Oh, Copper, I know that," she said miserably. "I wish..." she said huskily.
"No, you don't," he mused, smiling. "I had a case on you a few years ago, but our time passed. A blind man could see how you feel
about Burke. Just be careful, will you? You're as green as spring
grass, and that man knows his way around women.''
"I'll be careful," she replied. "It's good to have a friend like you."
"That works both ways," he said.
There was a perfunctory knock on the door and Lou Blake-ly looked in. "Excuse the," she said with a glance at Jane, "Mr. Harris won't talk to
the about his hemorrhoids. Could you...?"
"I'll be with you in a minute," he said shortly.
She closed the door quickly.
"You're very rude to her, aren't you?" Jane remarked quietly. "She's a sweet woman. It hurts her when you snap, haven't you noticed?"
"Oh, yes," he said, and for a minute he didn't look like the man she knew. "I've noticed."
She let it drop, saying goodbye and pausing only to pay the receptionist before she went out to find Meg. Copper had been the kindest of boys
when they were young, even though he was five years her senior. But he was different with Lou. He seemed to dislike her. Odd that he'd
accepted her into his practice if he found her so irritating.
Meg drove Jane back to the ranch. She found Cherry waiting on the porch for her, beaming.
"I did it!" she told Jane excitedly. "I beat my old time! I wasn't even afraid! Oh, Jane, I've done it, I've overcome the fear! I can hardly
wait for the next rodeo."
"I'm happy for you," Jane said with soft affection. "You're a great little rider. You're going to go far."
"I'll settle for being half as good as you," she said with worshiping eyes.
Jane laughed. "That won't be hard these days."
"Don't be silly. You'll always be Jane Parker. You've made your mark in rodeo already. You're famous! And you're going to be even
more famous when you make those commercials."
"Well, we'll see. I'm not counting my chickens before they hatch!"
The photo session was the main topic of conversation at supper.
"I'll run you up to Victoria in the morning," Tim volunteered. "Or Todd might, if he can spare the time from that barn," he added, teasing
the younger man, who was taciturn over his chicken and mashed potatoes and beans.
Todd looked up at Jane without any emotion. "If she wants the to, I don't mind," he said.
Thank you both, but I have a ride," Jane said. She smiled "Copper's got to go up there on a case, so he said I could go with him."
Todd didn't say a word, but the hand holding his fork stiffened. "The good doctor gets around, doesn't he?" he