by Nalini Singh
It was about five minutes later that Sarah finally had a chance to go behind the privacy screens of the newly built pool cabana and change into her deep green tankini with its fun white-on-green polka-dotted bottoms. The tankini style was her number one swimsuit of choice--she just felt prettier in it, and she liked being able to swap the tops and bottoms around to make fun combinations.
Abe whistled from where he'd already changed into his boxer-brief-style swimming trunks. "Sexy doesn't do you justice," he said, so much appreciation in the eyes that shaped her body that she might've lost her breath there for a second or two. "You still have that red bikini?" Abe asked. "The one that was all teeny tiny triangles and string?"
Sarah blushed; she'd bought that scandalous bikini for their honeymoon but hadn't had the nerve to wear it on the white sand beaches of the tiny Fijian island where they'd spent a week. Instead, she'd only ever worn it beside their pool at home when it was just her and Abe. "No." She paused. "I didn't take it when I left. What did you do with my clothes?"
Scowling, Abe said, "First, I went in your wardrobe and sniffed your clothes like a pathetic fool."
Sarah almost melted where she stood at this further evidence that he'd missed her, really missed her. "Then you threw them in the pool?" she guessed, remembering his fury during their divorce.
"Something like that." A shamefaced shrug. "I was an asshole."
"Don't feel bad." She patted his cheek. "If I'd had access to your clothing, I'd probably have taken scissors to it. Especially your favorite suits that you got on Savile Row."
Horror on his face. "You have a mean streak."
Winking, she sauntered out, well aware he was watching her ass. It made her grin deepen. Once outside the cabana, she dropped her hat on a lounger, then slipped into the crystalline blue waters of the pool to swim lazily out and join Molly.
The glee hadn't quite faded from the other woman's features.
"How long have you known?" Sarah asked. "About how serious Abe and I had become?"
"Well"--Molly smiled that wide open smile of hers--"I kind of figured out he had it bad when he kept messaging to ask how you were after Zenith."
Sarah had seen one of those messages, hadn't quite known how to handle Abe's obvious concern when she'd convinced herself he didn't care about her. "That was a while ago."
"Yes, but then he started missing dinners with the rest of us and being unavailable when he usually wouldn't be..." An affectionate shoulder nudge. "It wasn't hard to connect the dots. Especially after David flat-out asked him."
"Oh." Sarah looked over to find Schoolboy Choir's drummer sitting on the edge of the pool with Abe, both their legs in the water. David was having a beer while Abe was sticking to a nonalcoholic version Noah had stocked for him. The two appeared to be chilling, talking about nothing in particular. "Abe said he'd spoken to David, but I wasn't sure how seriously anyone was taking it."
"Are you kidding?" Molly shook her head. "After seeing you two at Zenith, we all knew it was dead serious." The other woman danced in the water. "I'm so happy for you both. An adorable little Abra baby! I'm going to buy tons of tiny New Zealand branded infant clothes. So many that your baby's going to grow up thinking he or she is a Kiwi!"
The other woman's joy was infectious.
Wait. "Abra?"
"Like abracadabra. Abe and Sarah equals Abra, get it?" Molly collapsed into laughter at Sarah's no-doubt-dumbfounded expression, giggling when Sarah splashed her. "I didn't come up with it, I swear. The fans on the message boards did." She wiped her face. "You two have a small but devoted fan base that's been hanging on, waiting for a reunion. Right now they might be the happiest people on the Internet."
"Abra?" Sarah's shoulders began to shake. "Abe's going to love that."
That set the tone for the day. She had the best time at the party. She was still more comfortable with the women, but when Noah sat down in the lounger next to hers a while later and started up a conversation, it felt normal, everyday. Just a woman speaking with one of her man's closest friends.
"You and Kit look really happy together," she dared say five minutes into their conversation.
"I'm fucking crazy about her." Noah's eyes followed his lover as she dived into the water to retrieve a colored ring from the bottom of the pool, she and David currently tied for most retrievals. "Head over heels."
The blond male frowned without warning. "Give me a sec."
Disappearing into the house, he returned not long afterward with an acoustic guitar and a notepad with a pen snugged to its side. "Can you write this down for me?"
"Sure." Sarah put aside her pineapple juice, then listened as Noah began to play while quietly working out lyrics.
Abe wandered over a couple of minutes later, having just come from the pool. Grabbing a towel to wipe off his face, he took a seat on the end of Sarah's lounger and listened in.
She had trouble concentrating with him all but naked so close to her, droplets of water dripping over his body. Telling herself she could pounce on him later, she managed to get her hormones under some kind of control and continued to take notes for Noah.
"You need a different chorus," Abe said at one point.
Noah made a suggestion, Abe refined it, and the two of them kept going.
At some point, Abe took her foot and began to massage it absently while he and Noah worked on the song. Sarah had never felt as included in the group, in Abe's musical family. Fox and Molly's wedding had been a special event, but this was everyday life--and Sarah was very much a part of it.
Close to tears, she was glad Abe was focused on the music. It left her free to watch him and to enjoy this moment when she was truly Abe's lover.
CHAPTER 30
LATE THE NEXT NIGHT, as Sarah lay sated and lazy in Abe's arms, he said, "How about we make this permanent?"
"What?"
"Move in together."
Memories smashed into her of the last time they'd lived together, of how she'd watched helplessly as Abe tumbled deeper and deeper into the abyss. "No," she said on a crash of emotion, fear gripping her heart in a vise.
"Sarah, we're spending every night together anyway."
"So? Is it getting inconvenient to bring over a change of clothes?" She knew he'd forgotten today.
"That's not it and you know it." Abe leaned over her, glowered. "I hate not having you with me, not seeing your stuff all over the bathroom counter or your books on the nightstand."
Sarah's jaw set. "Too bad." She poked at his chest. "I'm not ready to take that risk yet."
Abe blew out a breath. His jaw worked. When he finally spoke, it was to say, "I'm pissed off." He got out of bed, began to dress. "I need to go work it off."
Blinking at the blunt statement, Sarah sat up in bed, pushing back her hair from her face. "What are you going to do?"
"Go hit the gym."
"At this hour?"
"I have a twenty-four-hour membership." Bending down, he curved his hand around her nape and smacked a hard kiss to her lips. "Since I only have workout gear in the car, I'll have to go to my place to shower and change afterward, but I'll be back later if you still want me to spend the night."
Sarah nodded. "I'll wait up."
She wanted to call him back when he walked out, but part of her remained wary of Abe's commitment to sobriety. She needed to know he could deal with it if they fought, that he wouldn't turn to alcohol and drugs.
So she let him go.
And she hoped he'd come back to her the same wonderful man with whom she was falling ever more desperately in love.
ABE HIT THE WEIGHTS AT THE GYM, his demons tearing at him with every fucking rep. "You bastards aren't going to win," he said and lifted.
The goddamn bloodthirsty creatures wouldn't shut up. That was when he remembered what David had said to him a few days after the near miss alcohol-poisoning incident. Don't be a proud shithead. Reach out when you need a friend.
Deciding tonight qualified, Abe made the call. A
nd though it was late, the drummer didn't hesitate. He just asked where Abe was, then joined him. They all used this gym, so Abe didn't have to let David in--the other man had his own pass key.
Having arrived in workout gear, David came straight to the weight room and began to warm up. "I think we're the only two in here" were his opening words.
"Good. I hate the posing grunters," Abe said with a scowl. "Why can't they just do their workout without sounding like a bunch of baboons on steroids?"
David grinned. "I like that--I'm going to use it." The drummer got to work.
He couldn't lift as much as Abe, but he could lift far more than he should've been able to given his weight and height. David was in hella good shape.
"Did I pull you away from Thea?" Abe asked after over ten minutes of companionable quiet.
"She was working in her home office." David didn't pause in his steady reps using some serious free weights. "I left her with a kiss and a promise that we wouldn't do anything to get our faces in the papers." A grin. "I do not want to piss her off, so let's not get into a fight."
"Damn it!" Abe muttered. "I called you over here specifically to beat your ass."
Giving him the finger, David said, "You get that e-mail from the label?"
"Yeah."
The two of them talked about the label, about music, about David's upcoming wedding. The one thing they didn't talk about was Abe's sobriety. They didn't need to. Having his friend here was enough.
Afterward, as they grabbed ice-cold bottles of water from the fridge in the little break area that featured a juice bar during the day, Abe leaned up against the nearest wall and said, "Sarah won't let me move in."
David swigged half his bottle before replying. "Can't blame her, man." He flipped a chair around, took a seat with his arms braced on the back. "You must've been hell to live with."
Abe thought again of the day he'd thrown Sarah's books in the pool, then the furniture. And that had been one of the tamer incidents. "Yeah." He pressed the cold bottle to his forehead. "I just want to be there for her... and I want the chance to show her I'm not the man I once was."
David ran his fingers through his sweat-damp hair. "I get it." After wiping his face on a towel, he rubbed at his jaw, eyebrows drawn together over the golden brown of his eyes. "I guess you have to court her."
"What?" Abe scowled at the man who'd been his friend since they were thirteen. "I can't write memos." No one but David and Thea knew what David had written in those magic memos, but they'd certainly worked. Which was why Abe was listening to advice that included the word "court"--because David was about to marry his girl, while Abe couldn't even get his to trust him enough to give him a key.
"Abe, you were married to Sarah." David raised an eyebrow. "If anyone knows what she likes and needs, it should be you."
Abe thought of the books he'd sent her; he'd seen them neatly placed on her bookshelf. All except one, which was on a side table with a bookmark in it. He'd done okay there. She'd also enjoyed their dessert date. "Like we're still dating?" The idea felt false to him. He and Sarah were far beyond anything superficial.
"Not dating--more like showing her that you pay attention to what's important to her." David finished off his water. "That doesn't end after you're in a relationship. It's always." A shit-eating smile. "I'm not admitting anything, but it's possible I may still write Thea memos."
Abe pointed at David, eyes narrowed. "You're a disgrace to rock stars everywhere."
"Do I look like I give a flying fuck?" Grinning, David put his drink bottle in the recycle bin, caught Abe's when Abe lobbed it over, and did the same. "You going to shower here?"
"Nah. I had workout clothes in the car but nothing else. I'm going to head home to change." Then he'd drive back over to Sarah's.
"I'll shower at home too." As they walked out, David said, "Look, man, I know this is none of my business, but seems to me that Sarah never got the romantic stuff women like. You two hooked up, got married, and that was it."
"Yeah, I know. I'm going to fix that." He'd made up his mind to give Sarah what she needed this time around. "Thanks for tonight." He held out his fist.
David bumped it and they went their separate ways.
HE WAS HALF EXPECTING SARAH'S HOME to be dark when he finally drove up, but the windows upstairs glowed with light and the gate opened seconds after he pushed the buzzer. The garage door began to lift up almost at the same time. He'd just finished parking beside her zippy red car when the internal access door opened, Sarah haloed by the light on the other side.
She was dressed in pajama shorts and a T-shirt, her hair loose and wild around her head. She looked all sleepy and soft.
Jogging up, he shut the door after nudging her inside and cupped her cheek. "You were asleep." He nuzzled her.
Yawning, she kind of cuddled into him, her hands folded up against his chest. "I nodded off while I was reading."
Abe loved holding her, wanted to do it all night. "Come on, let's get to bed."
She led him upstairs, crawling into bed and watching him with sleepy eyes as he stripped and dropped his clothes on top of his duffel.
"You want me to wear pj's?" It was the first time that had come up--they were usually naked when they tumbled into bed.
A slow smile. "Do you even own pj's?"
"No," he admitted. "But I brought a pair of sweats."
"I like you barefoot and bare to the skin."
Grinning at the cheeky response, he got into bed with her, then reached over to turn off the bedside lamp; it plunged the room into darkness but for a little diffuse light that came in through the curtains.
That was enough for him to see Sarah's face when he stretched out his arm so she could pillow her head on his shoulder. Turning to brush her hair off her sleepy-eyed face, his heart this huge, tight thing in his chest, he said, "Good night, sweetheart."
Sarah's lips curved. "Good night, gorgeous."
He pressed a soft kiss to her lips as her eyes closed, brushed his hand over her abdomen in an unspoken good night to their baby, then he held her close and they slept.
ABE WOKE UP WITH THAT HEAVINESS in his limbs that came from a long, deep sleep where he hadn't been chased by endless dark dreams. Stretching out, he reached for Sarah. She was gone, her space in the bed cool. "Sarah?" It came out a gritty rumble as he lay on his front, still not quite fully awake.
"Good morning, sleepyhead." Walking out from the bathroom dressed only in a thigh-length robe tied at the waist, Sarah leaned over to kiss the back of his shoulder. Her hair was dry but damp at the ends and around the edges, her scent of some feminine soap that made him want to tug her freshly showered body into bed and make her dirty all over again.
"You were sleeping so deeply I didn't want to wake you," she said with a smile.
Happy now that he knew she was all right and not suffering from morning sickness or something, he reached for her. "Come back to bed."
Avoiding his hand with a chuckle, she walked over to the vanity. "I'm starving."
Turning his head, he saw her pull her hair into a neat knot on top of her head, then stick a bobby pin through it to hold the curly mass in place. He loved watching her do stuff like that. Normal stuff. Everyday stuff a wife would do in front of her husband. He wanted to wake up to such sights every damn day for the rest of his life.
"Want to go out for breakfast?"
"You're as slow as a snail in the morning." Affectionate words, laughter in her expression when her eyes met his in the mirror. "I'll have pancakes and bacon ready by the time you make it down." Blowing him a kiss, she headed out. "Don't be late or I'll eat it all."
Forcing himself to move, Abe yawned again, stretched, then walked into the shower. His muscles ached slightly from last night's lifting session, but nothing unusual. Just the good soreness that came from a session where he'd pushed himself until things were no longer easy. The hot spray felt good on his body, the water pressure just right.
Making quick work of
it because he wanted to be with Sarah, he cleaned up, then dug out his toothbrush and brushed. He didn't want to give her any reason to hesitate to kiss him--a man had to cover his bases when he was trying to win back his wife. He thought about shaving, but right now he was still in stubble territory and Sarah didn't mind stubble.
Once dry, he emptied the duffel of a pair of fresh jeans and a shirt in dark gray with short, folded-back sleeves that made his arms look amazing.
Sarah liked his arms.
This was all about Sarah.
Dressed, he padded downstairs, following the sound of pumping music to the kitchen... to find Sarah dancing in front of the stove, her hands above her head and her body curving and swaying with the beat. The robe was thin, caressed her body like a lover. He leaned against the doorjamb and waited until she'd flipped out the pancakes currently on the griddle before walking over and tugging her into his arms.
"Dance with me."
She switched off the stove with a deep smile, and then the two of them danced barefoot in the kitchen. Abe spun her out, caught her and a kiss at the same time before moving with her in time to the beat, one of his hands low on her back, the other on her hip. Sarah had perfect timing. He'd always loved dancing with her. It felt like they were one body as they moved past the stove and around the island.
Her long legs brushed against his every so often, her hands locked around his neck, her hips and ass moving with a feminine fluidity that made him want to beg for mercy. And her face, it glowed with happiness.
"Enough," she said after three songs, her breath coming in pants and a delighted heat on her skin. "The pancakes will get cold." Rising on her toes, she pressed her lips to his. "Let's eat."
It turned out she'd already made the bacon as well. He went to the fridge, pulled out a carton of the fresh blueberries they'd bought together, put a small bowl by her plate--after washing them. Who knew what chemicals were on the fruit?
"I know." Sarah laughed. "Vitamins and shit."
The word "shit" sounded so incongruous coming from Sarah's lips. "Exactly." Popping a few blueberries into his mouth, Abe took his seat.
Then they had an ordinary, everyday breakfast together, neither one of them having anything major planned that day. Sarah was all caught up on her business paperwork, and since she was now successful enough not to have to cover absences herself, she could afford to take time off when she needed it. The only thing that might require her attention was if she got a call from a current or prospective client--she dealt with all those herself.