by Erin Trejo
Setting my fork back down, I stand and move towards her all eyes on me of course. Thank god, we’re out of earshot.
“Hey wait a second.” Cher looks up at me and her face is a blank mask. With her arms crossed over her chest, she stares me down.
“Just stay. There’s a lot of shit goin’ on and I don’t want to worry about you.” Cher rolls her eyes picking her bag up and flinging it over her shoulder. Well, that didn’t work like I thought it would.
I follow behind her as she makes her way towards the door before I step in front of her.
“God damn it! Would you fuckin’ listen to me for once?” Cher’s eyes dart to mine and hold there. There is so much fear and worry in her eyes that it rips at my heart. She’s been hurt before I can see it all over her.
“You aren’t my boss. Jada may like that kind of shit but I don’t. I don’t take orders from any man.” I watch her face as it burns bright red. She’s pissed but there is something more she isn’t telling me. She needs to get it out though and move past it.
“I’m not givin’ you orders. You are takin’ shit out of context. Fuck Cher. What the fuck do you want from me?” Throwing my hands out to the sides, I look her in the eyes.
“My ex controlled me. He took away everything I had. I lost my friends, my family. Jada was all I had but when I went to college, he took that too. Hell, Jada doesn’t even know about this shit. She thinks I was at college the whole time I didn’t see her but the fucking truth is he wouldn’t let me out of the apartment.” My heart slams in my chest. Some asshole held her against her will. What kind of fucking man was he?
“I’m not him Cher. I don’t hold you fuckin’ hostage!” She raises her eyebrows as she looks at me standing here blocking the door…...holding her hostage. FUCK! My blood runs cold as I think about what she just said. If I ever find out who did that shit to her, I will kill him.
I surprise myself with the thoughts that I have but I can’t stand the thought of some asshole hurting her.
“Cher you know that’s not what I’m doin’.” I watch her blow out a breath before she drops her arms defeated. I don’t think I like that look on her. My stomach rolls as I realize I’m the one making her feel like this.
“I know. I just can’t go back to that Tank. I’ve tried so damn hard to move away from that stuff.” This shit wasn’t about me at all. It’s about herself.
Scrubbing my hand across my face, I lean down so I’m in her face, eye level.
“The only place I want to control you is in the fuckin’ bed but you need to understand that this club is all I have of a family. We’ve been through hell and back and I won’t turn my back on them. If that’s somethin’ you don’t think you can handle I will away.” Her eyes tear up as she looks at me.
“Is that what you want?” Damn this girl. How can I make her understand that I want her? I don’t know how much damage that other fucker did to her but he has really made it hard for her to trust.
My hands come up to grip her face making her look into my eyes.
“I never said I didn’t want you Cher. You are runnin’ from my lifestyle not me. I can’t force you stay with me and I won’t even try but I can tell you that I don’t want you to go.” Watching the tears trail down her cheeks rips my heart apart. After all, she had to deal with before I can understand why she is so closed off but I’m not him.
The tears keep falling as I drag her into my chest and hold her there.
“I don’t think you understand how much you mean to me.” Whispering into her hair, I hope she gets it now.
I hold her sobbing shaking body in my arms. I have her plastered to my chest and I love every second of it. I don’t like the fact that she’s crying and afraid to let her guard down with me, but having her in my arms is like heaven.
Whether I like it or not this woman has a hold on me.
Chapter 14
Cher finally calmed down and came back to the room. I left her in the shower while I go to handle Bella for the night.
“Where’s Bella?” Walking out into the main room, I don’t see her anywhere. Creed looks around as if he thought she was there too.
“Fuck Tank. She was just in here.” Shaking my head, I know Joey was just in here too. Little shit had better not be with her. I swear that boy grates on my nerves for some reason. Maybe because he reminds me so much of myself when I was younger. No, fuck that.
“Where the fuck is Joey?” Creed chuckles but I don’t think this shit is funny. It actually pisses me off.
“Think he went down to the weight room.” Rolling my neck around I head towards the hallway and straight towards the weight room. My blood boils in my veins as I make my way down the hall. I swear I will kick his ass.
Before I get to the door, I hear Bella laughing and giggling. Beyond pissed I shove the door open and step inside.
“What the fuck you doin’ in here?” Looking dead at Bella I have to stop myself. She’s on the treadmill walking while looking at the TV. Glancing over Joey is lifting weights while looking at the TV too.
“I was just walking dad. Oh and I was showing Joey the movie me and Cher were watching.” Nodding towards the TV I shake my head. She better not be lying to me again.
Bella must notice the look on my face since she turns off the machine and stomps towards me.
“I know what you’re thinking and I didn’t do anything. You’re such an ass.” She starts to walk around me when I grab her arm pulling her back. Oh this girl tests my patience with that mouth of hers.
“I didn’t say anything. Yeah, I thought it but I didn’t say it. Big fuckin’ difference. I told you I didn’t want you around him. Get your ass in the room.” Growling at her she hurries out of the room as the prospect looks over at me. He seems a little a nervous. Good he should be. I think it’s about time me and him have a little chat about my daughter.
“I’m only gonna warn you once about my kid. Stay away from her.” I point at the little prick but he stands up. Is he going to challenge me? This is getting interesting.
Standing up straighter, I glare at him.
“Wanna say somethin’ prospect?” Joey looks like he might but then just shakes his head, That’s what I thought.
I turn to leave the room when he finally talks.
“We didn’t do anything that night man. We just went to a movie.” Clenching my hands at my sides, I need to stay calm.
“She wasn’t allowed out prospect. Don’t forget she’s only 16. I don’t think I need to keep remindin’ you of your place here do I? You want the god damn patch you will listen to what the fuck I say.” Kicking the door on my way out, I hope he gets it through that head of his.
I stalk down the hallway ready to explode when Bella steps out of my room with a pillow in hand. Oh hell here we go again
“Where the hell do you think you’re goin’?” Stopping in front of her, she rolls her eyes at me. Damn this girl is a whirlwind of emotions.
“I’m going to sleep in the spare room with Jada. She said we could watch a movie.” Just as I’m about to say something the other door opens and Jada comes out.
“You ready?” She smiles brightly as Bella nods.
“Where’s Creed?” Jada looks over at me with that smile on her face.
“He went to bed. I told Bella that we could hang out. Is that ok? I didn’t think to ask. I’m sorry Tank.” I shake my head as I move towards Bella. Jesus this is one hell of a night.
“No its fine.” Leaning down I kiss her forehead.
“Night baby girl.” Bella pulls away looking pissed as hell. Well that’s just too bad for her.
“Night dad.”
I watch the girls as they head into the room closing the door behind them. At least she answered me, that’s a start I guess.
Scrubbing my hand over my face, I head into my room. The last few days have been hell and I can’t wait until we get out of here and go to the lake.
My hearts heavy though at the loss of one of our guys. It�
�s always hard when it hits close to home.
“You ok?” Cher sits up on the bed when I just stand there not moving. Shaking my head, I snap myself out of it. After everything that has been going on I need to pull myself together.
“Yeah. You?” Cher shrugs her shoulders as I strip out of my clothes. I feel like a lead weight is sitting on my shoulders and I can’t get it off.
Walking over in just my boxers, I sit on the edge of the bed with my head in my hands. My hearts too heavy to deal with all of this but this is my life.
“I’m sorry about earlier.” I feel Cher’s hands on my shoulders, massaging them gently.
“Me too. I’m not used to havin’ a woman Cher. I’m not used to havin’ shit. You kind of fell into my lap darlin’ and I’m not sure how to handle these things.” The pressure she puts on my shoulders increases and I feel like I’m in heaven. I love having her hands on me. It relaxes me.
I groan slightly before she speaks again.
“I didn’t mean to be such a bitch to you. I know you’re not him.” Turning around, I look over at her. There’s a lot about her past that haunts that poor woman and I hate it for her.
“I don’t know all of your past darlin’ but I do know that I can’t be him. I can’t hold you against your will. You need to sort that shit out in your own head. I’ll still be here whatever you choose.” Cher leans in and kisses me softly.
“Thank you Tank. It’s been hard on me. I feel like he’s still out there you know? I hate that feeling.” Pulling her closer to me, I look her in the eyes.
“I get it. Trust me I do but I won’t let anythin’ happen to you.” I rest my forehead against hers. I need her to know and understand that I won’t let anyone hurt her again. She’s mine now.
“I know.” Kissing her again quickly I scoot back and lay down. I just want to get a good night’s sleep before dealing with hell again tomorrow.
“Get up here sweetheart. We need some rest.” Cher climbs up and snuggles into my side. I never thought I would like having someone in my bed and all over me but Cher changes that for me. I love having her snuggled into my side.
She fits me perfectly.
Chapter 15
Another day another hell. Creed and I have been out almost all day looking into all this shit. Nothing makes sense and nothing shows up either.
None of the other local clubs are having any kind of threats or problems. That usually means that this shit is directed at us. I don’t like the feeling I get knowing that. We have kept pretty well to ourselves other than the mishap with the Shadow’s over Kenny.
“I don’t know Creed. This shit is not lookin’ right. We haven’t had a beef with any other clubs brother. Surely the fuckin’ Shadows didn’t come up with a sharp shooter.” Creed shakes his head as confused as I am.
“You wouldn’t think. Shit Tank. I think we need to take a break and come back fresh brother. As of right now we don’t have a direct threat on the club.” My eyes cut to his when he says that. Dougie was a part of the club although out of a different chapter. That shit still doesn’t sit right with me.
“Don’t fuckin’ look at me like that brother. I didn’t mean it like that. I’m talkin’ about our clubhouse, our brothers here. You really think I would let Dougie’s death go?”
I know he wouldn’t. Shaking my head, I scrub my hand over my face, this is just all getting to be too much too fast.
“I just don’t like any of this shit. It all feels off brother.” Creed puts his hand on my shoulder, he knows the feelings I get aren’t for nothing.
“I know Tank. Trust me I know but we aren’t gettin’ anywhere with this shit and we need a break. This club has taken hit after hit.” I nod my head because I know all of this. I know how much this club has suffered and how much betrayal ran through its blood.
“You’re right. Let’s roll. Take a break, clear our heads.” Creed nods as we walk out of the office. I take a deep breath as I walk down the stairs trying to clear my head.
This may be exactly what we need. A time to reflect and get new insight.
I walk down the hallway towards my room where I left the girls this morning.
Heading in I see Bella but not Cher.
“What are you doin’?” Bella scribbles in a notebook before looking up at me.
“Homework. Piper gave me a damn list of stuff to do.” Rolling her eyes, I can’t help but smile. I’m glad Piper is pushing her into schoolwork. Bella isn’t a dumb girl. If she puts her mind to something, she can do it. I have a good feeling that Piper can see that in her too.
“That’s good. Can’t believe you haven’t run him off yet.” Lighting up a cigarette I sit in the chair next to the bed.
“Real nice dad. I can be nice sometimes you know?” I let out a soft chuckle before looking up at her.
“I know you can. Where’s Cher?” Bella looks back at her book before she speaks. I watch her as she focuses on what she’s doing. I hope this girl makes something out of herself. She deserves that much.
“Outside on the phone.”
“With who?” Bella makes a weird face at me.
“I don’t know dad. I didn’t know that I had to babysit your girlfriend. Oh, by the way how old is Cher? She looks almost my age.” With a grunt, I stand up with my cigarette in my mouth.
“Old enough.” Turning I head towards the door wondering who the hell she is talking to. As far as I know Jada is the only one she talked to and she’s here.
Pushing out the side door, I see Cher sitting out in the yard. Something about the way she sits there curled into herself doesn’t sit well with me. I’ll add that to the mental list of shit that doesn’t sit well with me these days. I seem to have a long list of shit.
I walk towards her when I hear the soft cries that almost choke me. I hate when a woman cries. It rips at something inside of me, something unfamiliar.
“Bad news?” Cher shakes her head without looking up at me. I can see her trying to wipe the tears from her eyes like I didn’t see them. Not likely sweetheart. I don’t miss much anymore especially when it comes to Cher.
“Just thinking.” She stands up now and turns towards me, her eyes red and puffy. My stomach rolls and I know something is wrong.
“Who were you talkin’ to?” Taking another step towards her I watch her face. If she says one wrong thing I will lose it.
“Oh that was just an old friend.” Cher tries to step around me but I reach out stopping her.
“An old friend made you cry like this?” Yanking her back in front of me, I want answers. I know a line of bullshit when I hear it. Hell, I’ve given enough of those lines myself.
“It’s nothing Tank.” Trying to pull away isn’t going to work so I don’t know why she tries. My grip tightens as her eyes come to mine.
“It’s somethin’ darlin’. I want a real answer. Who was it?” Growling between my teeth, I’m really getting annoyed with all this shit quick.
“What is your problem?” She snaps pulling her arm out of my grip. I stand there looking at her like she lost her mind, hell maybe she has. I’m not good at all this relationship stuff.
“I don’t play games Cher! You want to play then take a fuckin’ walk sweetheart. You said you wanted to do this, if that was true you will give me fuckin’ answers!” Stepping into her space, I can see the tension on her face. She doesn’t know how I will react to what she isn’t saying. I know I have been through this shit before under different circumstances.
“It was my ex. I don’t know how he found my number. I’ve changed it after I left him.” There we go. Now we are getting somewhere. Not where I wanted this to go but at least I got a real answer.
“What did he want?” I try to lower my voice but the rage that I feel inside is threatening to blow me away. She told me bits and pieces about that motherfucker and I don’t like a single one of them. In fact, I’d like to rip his fucking throat out with my bare hands.
“He said he knew what I’ve been doing. That he wa
nts me back.” My hands clench at my sides as Cher chews her bottom lip. That isn’t something I take lightly and I’m sure as hell not letting her go.
“What did you say?” Trying to keep myself calm isn’t working out so well. She isn’t leaving this place. Not a fucking chance.
“Are you kidding me? I told him to come pick me up Tank. What the fuck?” Screaming at me isn’t the answer I was waiting for.
“Let’s cut the shit Cher! I am in no fuckin’ mood for this. He said somethin’ else and I want to fuckin’ know what it was.” I’m damn near in her face right now but she will give me answers. There’s more I can feel it. I don’t like it but I feel it.
“He said he was coming back for me! He said he wouldn’t let me go! Does that make you happy? He said I was his and his only and he would do whatever he had to to get me back!” She screams in my face before she breaks down in tears. I grab her and pull her roughly against my chest. Son of a bitch! That’s one more thing I didn’t need on my plate right now but to keep Cher safe, I’ll gladly take it.
“There is no way in hell that I will let him anywhere near you. You know that right?” Talking softer now, I try to calm the rage that threatens to overtake me. I mean every bit of what I say though.
“He won’t stop Tank. If he gets near me, he will kill me this time. I know he will.” Her tears wet my shirt and rip my heart into pieces. I don’t know how to deal with all of this but I need to learn if I plan on keeping Cher.
Chapter 16
My heart hurts for Cher. I know she’s scared and I don’t think he was making empty threats either. I’ve known guys like that all my life. They very rarely make empty threats.
The ride out to the lake was really awkward. We brought my truck since I have Bella now. It’s kind of strange not being on my bike for this trip but it makes me extremely happy to have Bella and Cher here this time. I’m usually solo on these trips picking up an Angel chaser along the way.