by Erin Trejo
“You think I’m not a good mother, Creed? Is that what it is?” Blowing out a breath, I look around the room, looking at anything but her.
“No, I never said that. She’s hot though. Maybe she’s gettin’ sick.” Jada storms toward me taking Heather out of my arms.
“Yeah, ok Creed. Thanks for that, doctor fucking Spock.” Jada turns and storms out of the room like the little tornado she is. Blowing out a breath, I grab my phone and dial.
“Hey doc. Baby’s sick. Think you can come take a look.” Listening to the old man’s instructions, he agrees to come.
I head out to the main room but I can still hear Heather crying. I know Jada’s nerves are worked up, but she needs to calm down.
“I tried to take her, but your girl went fuckin’ crazy on my ass.” Ryker slaps a hand on my shoulder as I walk toward her.
“She said she’s been cryin’ all day brother. Doc’s on his way.” Ryker passes me a beer when Jada’s eyes land on mine. She looks at the beer in my hand and back at my face before she turns on her heel and heads toward the room.
“Oh hell, Creed. I feel sorry for you.” Ryker chuckles next to me but this shit isn’t funny. I thought Jada was getting better, but she seems to be on edge still.
“Shit’s gettin’ out of control with her Ryker. I don’t know what the fuck to do.” Running my hand through my hair, he nods.
“It’s rough brother. It’ll get better. Ask Doc while he’s here.” Hell, I have thought about that also. I thought maybe she was a little depressed after Heather was born, but this shit is going too far.
“I might do that.” Passing him the beer back I head toward the room. I can hear Jada all the way out in the fucking hallway.
“Please Heather. Just stop fucking crying!” Jesus, this girl has lost it. I shove through to door to find Jada walking and crying. Heading straight for her, I take Heather when I hear a knock on the door.
“Yeah!” Tank steps in motioning for Heather. I look at Jada and back at him, but he just nods.
“She’s fine in here!” Jada snaps as I pass Heather off to Tank.
“Thanks, Tank.”
“Just hold your woman.” Nodding at Jada, he turns to leave the room. My attention snaps back to Jada as she cries harder in the corner.
My heart breaks for her. I don’t know what’s going on inside of that beautiful mind of hers.
Stepping up next to her, I wrap my arms around her.
“Everything’s ok Jada.” Whispering into her hair she tightens her grip around me.
“It’s not Creed. It’s not ok. I’m a horrible mother. I yelled at her.” Jada sobs harder into my chest. I want to lose it with her. She’s tired, worn out. I can’t blame her either.
“It is ok. I left you with more than you could handle. I’m sorry sweetheart. I need to be a better husband, a better man.” I feel like a piece of shit for not helping her more.
“You’re a good man Creed. I just get overwhelmed. I’m sorry.” Kissing her head, I need to ask. I just hope she doesn’t lose her shit on me.
“Doc’s comin’ to check Heather. You want to talk to him?” Jada tenses up in my arms as I wait for the storm. She wants to lose it; I can feel it in her.
“Yeah. I do.”
Chapter 14
Ryker
Holy hell, that clubhouse has turned into a shit storm of hormonal females. I never knew having that many in one place could set off so much craziness.
“What the fuck you hidin’ out here for?” Torch walks in smoking a cigarette. I thought working on the bikes would take my mind off things.
“You been inside?” He nods his head as he blows out a ring of smoke. “That’s what the fuck I’m hidin’ from.” Torch chuckles before he drops down on the stool next to me.
“Can I ask you somethin’ brother?” Torch never has asked for permission. The son of a bitch always spoke his mind. This shit is either important, or personal.
“You know you can.” Picking the wrench up I tighten a few bolts.
“You ever dream about your own death?” Stopping what I’m doing, I glance over at the crazy fuck. He looks dead serious which makes me change my whole attitude.
“I’ve dreamt a lot of shit. Death, life, all of it. What’s goin’ on Torch?” Pulling my own cigarette out and lighting it up, I sit back leaning against the wall.
“I’ve been dreamin’ about my sister. The one I told you about. She’s gone brother. I know she’s dead. It’s always dark and full of fuckin’ smoke. She always stands there telling me to come with her. Come be free, Travis. That’s all I hear.” Glancing over at him, I know how those dreams can haunt you. It’s scary as hell being lost inside yourself.
“Travis huh?” Torch chuckles before he smiles at me.
“Yeah. Haven’t been called that since I was a kid. She started callin’ me Torch when I would light shit up. That was my thing back then. The dreams just fuck with me; you know?” Nodding my head, I know all too well.
“I hear you brother. Lost inside your mind isn’t a place you want to be. I know that shit first hand.” Picking up my beer I take a pull from the bottle before he speaks again.
“Crazy thing is. I see myself die Ryker. I go in a fuckin’ blaze of gun fire. It’s like my subconscious is tryin’ to prepare me for that shit. I’m ready though. Is that some shit or what?” A slight chuckle escapes him before I look over shaking my head.
“Nope. I’ve had that too. Maybe it’s just the demons we fuckin’ hide from everyday makin’ it hard to sleep.” Torch nods before grabbing his own beer.
“Probably right. You ready to hit the lake?” Changing the subject is his thing. He doesn’t like to dwell on things too much, and I can’t blame him on this.
“Yeah brother! I just worry about the Dusts’ when we come back. I’m ready for that shit. Just waitin’ on the go ahead from Creed.” Torch laughs as he stands up.
“Not lettin’ that rest until you get them all, yeah?” He knows me. I’m my own worst enemy.
“Damn right. Rit thought he was doin’ somethin’ takin’ over that shit but he threw himself into somethin’ personal to me. He wants to ride that storm out with his boys, I’m all for it.” I hear Torch laugh as he walks out of the garage.
I hear the door close but I figured it was just from Torch going out so I don’t turn to look.
“Always in this damn garage. What is with you?” Bella drops down to take the spot Torch just left.
“You women make us fuckin’ crazy in there.” Bella slaps my arm before laying her head on my shoulder.
“You ever just get tired of life Ryker?” I know what she’s getting at, and I don’t really want to go there with her right now.
“I used to. Not since I’ve found somethin’ to live for though.” Kissing her forehead, I hear someone suck in a breath behind us. We both turn to see Jersey standing there.
“Come join the party.” Turning back to the bike I’ve been trying to fix for the last hour, she doesn’t come sit.
“Ryker.” Bella whispers before I turn to look at her. The startled look on her face has me following her gaze to Jersey.
“What the fuck are you doin’?” Jumping at the same time as Bella, I push her behind me. Jersey stands there with tears streaming down her face, and my gun in her hand.
“How long?” Her words mean nothing. I have no clue what the hell she’s talking about.
“How long what? What the hell is wrong with you?” Taking a step toward her, she shakes her head.
“How long have you been fucking her?” Screaming louder, I almost laugh. Looking over my shoulder, at Bella she looks amused. I shake my head as I turn back to Jersey.
“Have you lost your Goddamn mind woman? I’m not fuckin’ her!” Taking another step toward her, I watch as a new fire blazes in her eyes.
“Don’t you fucking come near me.”
“What are you goin’ to do? Shoot me?” Taking another step, the gun goes off. Bella screams as Jersey dro
ps the gun to the floor of the garage.
I rush in grabbing her around the waist, pressing her against the wall.
The side door flies open as the guys all file in with their guns drawn. I bet that little show scared the piss out of them!
“What the fuck?” Creed looks around before I nod at Bella.
“You ok?” She nods her head before she moves to wrap her arms around Creed.
“Take her inside. I got this.” Creed nods before he takes Bella from the garage. The rest of the guys look confused as they file out behind him.
My attention drifts back to the girl that just fucking shot me in the arm.
“What the hell was that shit, Jersey?” Taking a step back her eyes land on my arm before she loses it again. Sobs choke her from the inside out.
I look over at my arm before I look back at her.
“Flesh wound. It’s fine.” Shaking her head, she slides to the floor in a heap of tears. I don’t know what to do here. How the fuck do I respond to this shit?
“You’re always with her. She’s always hanging off you. I know I’ve changed since I’ve had Ansley. I don’t look like I did when we first met.” Jersey curls into a ball before I reach for her.
“She’s sick Jersey. She didn’t want anyone to know. She told me in fuckin’ confidence. She’s a good kid, but that’s all she is to me. She’s family for fucks sake!” Jersey’s head comes up as her eyes rest on mine.
“She’s sick? What’s wrong with her?” Shaking my head, I stand up and run my hand through my hair.
“She has cancer Jersey. She’s dyin’.” With that, I walk out of the garage leaving her to contemplate the news I just gave her.
Chapter 15
Tank
Doc’s checking Heather, and there seems to be a line of women that need his services tonight. I don’t think I’ve ever seen shit get as crazy around here as it is right now.
“You sure you’re ok?” Grabbing Bella one more time, I drag her against me.
“I’m fine dad. I just hope Jersey’s ok.” Nodding my head, I get why she lost it. Shooting at people though? I didn’t think the girl had it in her.
“She will be. Havin’ kids can mess with your hormones and shit. She’ll be alright.” Bella nods as I let her go. I watch as she wraps her arms around Joey’s waist.
“He isn’t so bad is he?” Cher startles me slightly. Looking down at her, I smile.
“Thank God you haven’t lost your damn mind too!” Cher laughs before she hugs me.
“I don’t think I could. There needs to be at least one sane person in this place.” Kissing the top her head, I have to agree.
“That’s true. Those girls will need you, if you’re up to it.” As if that was even a question, she nudges me.
“I love these girls. I’ll do anything for them.” She always brings a smile to my face. She never ceases to amaze me either.
“We’re taking that ride to the lake, yeah? Before we can go, there’s another run that I signed up for. We need to help out Griff’s boys.” Cher looks up at me not at all happy about it, but she understands.
“I wish I could have met him.” Sighing, I wish the same thing.
“Me too darlin’. I need to go get ready. “Cher pushes up on her toes to kiss me quickly.
“I’ll pack it. Go see Griff and Bella before you go.” Damn, how did I get so fucking lucky with her? I watch her walk down the hallway, my eyes traveling over her body. Cher amazes me every day that I have with her. She’s the best thing that’s happened to me aside from my kids.
“You on the run?” Torch walks up next to me with a shit eating grin on his face.
“Oh fuck. I’m stuck with you?” Glaring over at him he laughs and nods. Crazy fucker.
“Damn right. You know you gotta roll with the best brother.” Shaking my head, he’s lost his damn mind.
“You’re crazier than the fuckin’ devil. How the hell is that good?” Heading toward the bar he laughs behind me.
“Oh Tank. You know you love me brother!” I flip him my middle finger as I walk. He’s really one crazy shit.
“Hey Tank. Can I talk to you a minute?” Joey side steps me as I walk.
“If you have to.” As thankful as I am for Joey taking a bullet for Bella, I still don’t like this dating thing.
“Has she talked to you? I mean, she won’t talk to me. She looks like shit. She barely eats anything.” Scrubbing my hand over my face, I look over at him.
“She doesn’t say shit. I don’t know Joey. I see it too, but Cher thinks she’s just growin’ up.” Joey looks concerned which in turn makes me a little more uneasy. I don’t like the looks of Bella either, but if everyone else is noticing it there has to be something going on.
“I don’t know Tank. She hardly sleeps at night. I hear her in the bathroom. She’s always sick.” Cutting my eyes at him, that’s some information I didn’t need to hear coming from him.
“You get my daughter pregnant?” Hell, that’s the first thing that came to my mind.
“Hell no. We haven’t even.” Shaking my head, I throw my hand up. No need for him to go any further with that shit. I don’t need to know what him and Bella have, and have not done. Although, it is good to hear that she is being careful.
“Enough! Just see if you can get her to talk while we’re out.” With a nod, he walks away as I blow out a breath.
“What the hell was that?” Glancing over at Creed, I grunt.
“The boy was tellin’ me that he and Bella haven’t slept together.” Creed breaks into laughter before I elbow him.
“Wait till Heather grows up, you son of a bitch.” Creed laughs harder as I walk away to find Griff. Hell, I need some father son time, with all these damn females around here.
Chapter 16
Creed
“Joey! Let’s ride.” Yelling at the little shit to come on, just annoys me further. I don’t like the fact that I have to take him with me. I should have sent his ass with Tank.
“Why are you yellin’?” He walks over with a grin on his face. I can’t say that I hate the boy these days because I really don’t. He kind of grows on you. At first, he was a little punk, but now he seems somewhat valuable to the club.
“We need to take a ride over to the Spawn’s.” Joey looks at me confused, since Tank just left to go help them out.
“Clubhouse. Tank’s runnin’ with their northern chapter on some shit. We need to make sure that they have everything covered on their end at home. Shit’s been off over there since their Pres. died.” With a quick nod, he heads for the door.
“You leaving?” Jada wraps her arms around me before I kiss her head.
“I’ll be back soon. This won’t take long. Heather’s got her medicine for her ear; Doc said she’ll be feelin’ better soon.” Jada nods her head before nuzzling her face into my side. I feel bad for her, I really do.
“Yeah, Doc is getting me something too. I’m sorry Creed. I’ve just not felt like myself in a while, and I took it out on you. It was all kinds of wrong.” Holding her a little tighter, I savor this moment. We don’t always have to see eye to eye, but I hate the fighting. I hate being angry and not being able to reach her.
“It’s fine darlin’. I told you. We’re fine. We’ll get past this also, just like everything else. Hey, can you talk to Jersey while I’m gone? I don’t know what kind of shit she was on out there in that garage, but she almost took Ryker’s ass out.” Jada smirks that sweet little look of hers before she nods.
“Ryker’s a dick. He probably pissed her off really good.” Jada laughs as she pulls back to look up at me.
“He can be, but shootin’ the fucker in our own garage ain’t gonna fly. If she needs help she needs to get it.” Jada’s face changes. She understands more than anyone else could.
“I know. I’ll talk to her. Be careful.” I lean in and kiss my woman roughly. Even though this is a fairly routine run, you can never be too sure. Anything can happen at any time, and all of our live
s here are a picture of that.
“Go take care of my daughter.” Shivers roll over my body as the words leave my mouth. My daughter. I never thought I’d see the day that I’d have kids. I never thought I’d be alive that long.
Walking out of the clubhouse, the air has turned chilly. The wind blows and new day has begun. It’s sad to think that at any time, any of us could be gone from this world. This world that we have built still holds so much pain, and grief.
We’ve been through a lot in our time as Angel’s. Making things take a turn down a different road hasn’t been easy, but we’re slowly doing it. If we can pull ourselves away from the illegal shit that flows through our veins, we may have a fighting chance at setting the future up for our kids.
“You ok? You look lost.” Looking over at Joey, I take a deep breath. He’s the next generation. He’s young. He is one of the ones that we need to make this shit work for. When our kids grow up, he’s one of the one’s that will show them the way.
“Ain’t we all lost brother? I was just thinkin’ about this club, these guys. We’ve come a long way. We still have a long way to go, but for now we’re makin’ it. You boys are the future of this club, and I sure as shit don’t want my kid to have to live the way we did. I want more for them brother.” With a smile, Joey nods his head.
“Look Creed. I know we haven’t always seen eye to eye, mainly about Bella, but I want that brother. I want to be somethin’ those kids can look up to. I don’t want to be Sharp. If I can change anything for the better here, hell, I’m all for it.” Starring at him, I can see it in his eyes. He’s got to be one of the best guys we’ve brought in here.
“Let’s do it then brother.” Pulling my helmet on, I climb on my bike. Glad me and him had this little chat.
Now, we need to see that everything is good with Spawn’s.
Chapter 17
Ryker
My mind is a fucking mess. My old lady took a fucking shot at me! Hell, she did shoot me. How the hell does that play out?
Jersey and Ansley mean the world to me, but I can’t deal with some trigger happy woman all the time. Jealous of Bella? Hell, I almost laughed in her face. Thank God, I didn’t do that. She may have really aimed that shit better.