But not today.
He stirred his coffee and joined her at the table. “Babe, you okay?”
Paige looked up at him, shaking her head as if she was shaking away the fog that was so clear in her eyes. She then focused on him and a small smile spread across her lips. “Oh, hey. Morning, baby.” She looked down at her cereal and grabbed the spoon, ready to take a bite.
“Paige?” He reached across the table and grabbed her hand.
“Hmm?” Dropping her spoon back in the bowl, she mumbled as she looked up at him, confusion on her face.
“Babe, are you okay? You seem a little out of it this morning.”
Paige stared at him for a minute or two before answering. “Yeah. I’ve just got a lot going on.”
“You want to talk about it?” He glanced at his watch. “We have time before we have to be at work.”
Paige shook her head.
“Because you look like you’re a million miles away.”
“I’m just thinking.”
“Uh-oh,” Tyler teased, trying to coax a smile out of her. “How much is this going to cost me?”
Reluctantly a tiny smile pulled at her lips. “It’s nothing like that.”
Taking her hand, Tyler pushed her bowl aside. “That cereal looks unfit for human consumption at this point.” He nodded to the soggy bowl of mush. “Why don’t you let me take you for a bite before we go into work? We can talk over a power breakfast?”
“No thanks, I still have to do my hair.”
“You look perfect as is.” He placed a kiss on her fingers.
“No,” she shook her head. “I can make you an omelet.”
Tyler stopped her before she could move out of her seat. “Babe, I’m fine. I can make my own eggs.”
She sighed. “It’s just — it’s stupid really.”
“Paige, whatever it is has you rattled.”
Reluctantly, she continued. “Ty, I look around, and all I see is pregnant women! Rylee is ready to pop any day now, and Melanie is getting bigger each day.”
“Oh,” Tyler said so softly that he wasn’t sure she even heard him.
“Ty, when is it going to be my turn? Some days it just doesn’t seem fair.”
Tyler watched her as tears threatened to fall.
Many things ran through his head as he gripped his wife’s hand tight. He could almost feel her pain as he thought about the day that she miscarried their baby. It was a pain they carried together. But they were alone in their grief. No one else knew what they had been through.
As the team captain, he knew the team would rally around him, and the wives and girlfriends around Paige, but Tyler was also a very private person. This was between only him and Paige.
“You’re right. It’s not fair. But, it’ll happen, when it’s right.”
He knew his words were falling on deaf ears, because he would feel the exact same way if in her shoes. He watched her as she put her bowl in the sink. The light was missing from her eyes today, and it hurt his heart to see that.
“Hey,” he grabbed her before she left the kitchen. Lacing his fingers with her he asked, “How about we get away for lunch today? I’ll be done with practice by noon, I’ll drop by the office and grab you?”
She half smiled. “I wish I could. I have a meeting at twelve. Then my doctor’s appointment is at three.”
“Oh, right. Want me to come with you?” He asked. It wasn’t that he forgot she had an appointment today; he had been waiting on her to ask him to go with her.
Paige brushed him off as if it was no big deal. “No, it’s not necessary. You’ll just be sitting in the waiting room.”
“Which I will gladly do if it means you won’t be there alone.”
Paige tilted her head, her eyes said everything that she wasn’t. In them, he could see she was nervous. “I know. And I appreciate it. I really do, babe. But this is a small step in this journey. I don’t want to sound dramatic, but there’ll be plenty of doctor visits to be part of, and meetings or practices that you’ll have to get out of to be there. Take care of business today, and I’ll meet you at home around five. We don’t want you getting on Coach’s bad side just yet. Okay?”
Tyler hated letting her go to this outpatient appointment alone. But she was right. Coach Walker would let him do whatever he needed to do, but he didn’t want to take advantage when it came to time off.
“Okay. As usual, you’re right, babe. I’ll grab a pizza and bottle of wine on my way home. How does that sound?”
“That sounds perfect.” Her smile was pained. She placed a small kiss on his cheek before going upstairs to finish getting ready for her day.
Tyler had done his due diligence with research on today’s outpatient procedure, and he was confident she would be okay, but it didn’t make him feel any more okay about not being there for her.
Tyler sighed as he continued getting ready for work. His wife was as bull-headed about things as he was, which was one reason they worked so great, ironically. And he would give her this visit. He would be here for her when she got home. Being her constant support system was the one thing he could do.
TYLER HANDED HIS STICK to the equipment manager and hurried to the locker room. He was the last one off the ice, skating for an extra half-hour after practice ended. He had some time to kill before the afternoon team meeting with Coach Walker.
Tyler showered and changed, then attended the team meeting. When it was over, he still had an hour before he needed to head home. Sitting down in the team lounge Kris’s voice startled him.
“What are you still doing here?” Kris Lafleur, his good friend and teammate, asked.
He turned to look at his friend. “I should be asking you the same. Don’t you have a wife and child waiting for you at home?”
Maybe he imagined the concerned look on Kris’s face.
“You okay?” he sat down across from Tyler.
“Yeah.”
“You don’t sound like it. You were pretty quiet in the meeting.”
He was. But his mind was on Paige, and how things were going with the test she was having done. Admittedly he didn’t fully understand the procedure, even as much as he researched it, some of the details were still lost on him.
“Yeah, Paige is dealing with some stuff, and I just feel like I should be with her instead of here.”
“So why aren’t you?”
Tyler chuckled. “You’ve met my wife. She never wants anyone to think she’s weak. She can do it all on her own.”
He got up and walked across the room, trying to work things out in his own head. Tyler was never big on telling other people his problems, even Kris, one of his best friends.
“Yep, that’s Paige all right.” Kris joked. “Ty, you can talk to me. Is Paige okay? I’ve noticed she hasn’t been herself lately.”
“Yeah, she’s fine.” He grabbed a bottle of water from the refrigerator. “She’s got a lot going on. Rylee’s ready to pop, and now Mel is planning her maternity leave. Just a lot on her plate.”
Kris nodded as if he understood all the information that Tyler left out, and the few details he purposely included. “Yeah, I get it. But why are you still here?”
He knew what Kris was asking. Why was he still here instead of with Paige?
“I’m killing time.” He shrugged. “We’re meeting at home at five. To make her day a bit brighter, and work towards that ‘husband-of-the-year’ award, I’m stopping to grab pizza and wine.”
Kris smirked and nodded in agreement. “Maybe grab her favorite dessert or cheat food.”
“Woah, you are telling me to buy junk food. Who are you and what have you done with my friend?”
“Ha ha, very funny. But, yes. If she’s feeling down, she’ll appreciate it, I know Kat does.”
Tyler patted his friend on the shoulder. “Good idea. Speaking of Kat, you guys doing okay?”
“I like how you tried turning the conversation to me, but yes, we are doing just fine. Speaking of me and Kat, I
think we should plan a get-together real soon.”
Tyler nodded. “I like the way you think.”
“And Ty,” Kris added. “When you’re ready to talk about it, I’m here.”
“Thanks, Kris. It’s just not my thing to tell right now, you know Paige, she likes her privacy. But when I can talk about it, you’ll be the first person I call.”
As much as he wanted to talk about it, he didn’t want to undermine his wife by telling folks her private matters, even though they were his too.
The drive home felt like it took forever. Finally home he walked in the door with pizza, a bottle of wine, and Paige’s favorite guilty pleasure, chocolate covered pretzels.
“Babe, I’m home.” He called as he shut the door behind him.
“In the living room.” Her voice carried down the hall.
“Hey,” he said softly. He sat the food and wine on the counter, then proceeded to the couch.
The fire roared and the room was warm and cozy – a welcome comfort from the blustery weather outside.
Tyler sat down beside her, pulling her into a comforting hug. “How was your appointment? You okay?” he dropped a kiss on her head and ran his fingers through her hair as she snuggled in close.
“I’m fine. It didn’t take long, I’m just a little sore. The doctor said I would be.” She looked up at him, apprehension sat behind her baby blues. “That pizza smells wonderful.”
Tyler nodded his head towards the kitchen. “I’ll go grab us a slice.”
“Or, you could just bring the box over here so we can be lazy and not leave the couch.”
“Sounds like a plan to me. And the wine?”
“Most definitely the wine.” A smile filled her gorgeous face.
“Your wish is my command.” He kissed her soft lips. Tyler hated to see her sad, and her smiling face warmed his heart. He hurried to the kitchen, which luckily overlooked the living room. He grabbed the bottle of wine, two glasses, and the pizza, being sure to throw a couple napkins on top of the box. Balancing it all, he carefully brought it to the couch.
Sitting the pizza box on the coffee table, he opened the wine and poured two glasses. After handing Paige her glass, he set his down and cut them each a slice of pizza.
“Pepperoni.” Paige acknowledged happily.
Sitting down next to his wife, he couldn’t take his eyes off her. Her happiness meant the world to him. “Is there anything better?” Pepperoni was her favorite pizza.
“Are those chocolate covered pretzels I see over there on the counter?” she asked, straining her neck.
“Yes.”
“Wow. Wine, pepperoni pizza, and chocolate covered pretzels. You’re pulling out all the stops.” She eyed him sarcastically.
“I just wanted to make your day a little brighter.”
“And you knew one sure fire way was through my stomach.” Paige giggled after taking a bite.
“I would never say it like that though.” He kissed her in between bites.
She playfully rolled her eyes. “It’s okay since it’s true.”
Tyler gently ran his hand over her abdomen. His concern must’ve showed on his face because Paige covered his hand with hers.
“Babe, I’m fine. I just need rest, and some ibuprofen.”
“I know.” He scoffed, trying to play off his concern.
“My doctor is rushing the results. I think she realizes how impatient I am over this.”
“I’m sure she does.”
“Yeah, especially if there’s nothing of concern, no use me worrying. That won’t help anything. I’m going in first thing.”
“Let me come with you. If nothing else, I can hold your hand while we wait.” Tyler pushed down the worry that filled his gut.
“No,” she shook her head, a soft smile crossing her lips. “It’s fine. You have meetings and practice. You know I’ll ask you to be by my side when it counts. Right now this is all just–“
“Precautionary?”
“Yes. Precautionary. She said she’d give me a heads up if you should be there. If everything came back normal, it’ll be a waste of your time.”
“I wouldn’t say that. Nothing I ever do for you is a waste of time. But,” Tyler wasn’t going to push. Paige had a lot on her plate and she never hesitated to ask for his help before. He knew she’d ask him to be there when he needed to be. “You know that I’m here when you need me.”
“I know, babe. I know.” She wrapped her arms around his waist. “It’s hard enough to be going through this, but to sit there and be told what you already know...it’s just hard. And I like that you are here waiting for me, wanting to make me feel better. That’s all I really need right now. And pizza”
“And wine.” He added.
“Well, yeah.”
“You’re all I need.” Sitting his glass down, he kissed her. He deepened his kiss, she responded, but then pulled back.
“Babe, I’m sorry, but things are sore. I have cramping, and,” she shook her head apologetically. “I’m just not in the mood tonight.”
Tyler smiled, and kissed her head. “Who said I was expecting anything? Holding you in my arms and kissing you is all I need tonight.”
Paige laid her head on his shoulder and snuggled close to him. “You really are my knight in shining armor.”
“Nah, I’m just a guy. You make me a better man.” He pulled her close. “As long as you know I am always here for you, not matter what.”
Chapter Three
PAIGE
Paige sat in a chair in the exam room. She was here for her test results, including one to see if her fallopian tubes were blocked. Looking down at her watch, she wished Tyler could be with her. But he had prior commitments – early morning meetings.
Yes, if she had asked him to come with her, he would be here at her side. But she had a feeling it was going to be another no-news-is-good-news type visit. And that was not worth him missing team meetings for. She could just as easily fill him in at home.
And her doctor did say she would give Paige a heads up if she felt Tyler should be there. Of course, that also would’ve sent Paige into a panic attack.
Her stomach flopped as her nerves took over. There had to be some reason this pregnancy thing wasn’t happening for her. She was tired of the consolation answers of “you’re still young.” That wasn’t fixing the problem, because no one knew what the actual problem was. And no matter how hard she prayed, it sure didn’t seem to be fixing itself.
The exam room door opened, and the doctor entered.
“Good morning, Paige. Do you feel okay today? I hope the side effects weren’t too uncomfortable for you.”
“No,” Paige said. “Nothing a little ibuprofen couldn’t fix.”
“Good to hear. And I know you are anxious to know the results, so let’s get right to it. I’ve looked over the results, and everything looks good.” She glanced at the report. “Your fallopian tubes are healthy. There are no blockages. I do apologize, but I have no medical explanation yet. But please don’t fret, that’s a good thing.” She rushed to add.
“How is that a good thing, and please don’t say because I’m young there’s nothing to be concerned about.” Paige said, having to try hard to control her aggravation. She didn’t mean to sound harsh, but it certainly came out that way.
The doctor sat down and smiled. Calmly, she said, “No, I’m not going to say that. But I am going to tell you there’s a chance that there is nothing wrong with you. You have a high demand job. And you tend to put it before your health. Am I right?”
Paige shrugged, knowing damn well that the doctor was right. She seemed to always be on the go, and even their off-season was filled with events, promotions, and traveling. Then there was training. Tyler lived hockey. She wasn’t sure the word downtime was even in Tyler’s vocabulary.
“From the look on your face, I’m going to assume you know exactly what I am talking about. Is there any chance you can take a few days and get away from it all? Just a
breather?”
“A few days?” she shook her head. “No. Not during the season.”
There was no way to make that work.
The doctor looked down her nose at Paige. “Look Paige, I’m going to be straight with you. I truly believe that stress can be the culprit here.”
Her words were small consolation. Paige always put so much pressure on herself when it came to her job. She wanted to be the best at what she did. And now she felt like she couldn’t even accomplish something as natural as getting pregnant.
“And I feel nothing is going to change as long as you are letting the stress run your life.”
It was as if the doctor was reading her mind. Paige agreed with the doctor and nodded.
“But I’m not saying that I’m going to stop looking for answers. Just think about what I said.” The doctor stood up and smiled at Paige. “Sometimes the constant worrying about why things aren’t happening is the worst thing you can do. And the second you stop trying, or stop worrying, even if it’s just for one day, you’d be surprised. I’ve seen it happen.”
Paige put on a smile and answered with the words the doctor wanted to hear, even though she knew it was all for show. “Okay. I will see what I can do.”
“Meanwhile, I’ll have the front desk schedule your next test. We will keep plugging away until we find out what’s going on.” The doctor paused and looked at Paige. “And, it would be nice to see Tyler here at one of these appointments. I’m sure he has questions too.”
Paige nodded, “Right.”
She felt no need to defend why he wasn’t with her today. It was her decision. Her husband was a good man and would go to the hair salon to simply sit and wait for her if she asked him to. He’d be by her side when she deemed it necessary.
PAIGE LOOKED AT HER watch, eager for her husband to come home from the arena. He had afternoon meetings and would probably do one more workout before he was done for the day. Tyler was nothing if he wasn’t dedicated.
“Hey babe, I’m home.” Tyler’s voice filled the hallway before he appeared in the living room. His words eager. “How’d the doctor’s appointment go?”
Loving the Game Page 2