by J. Sterling
“I’m not cheating on your sister,” I reiterated. “I ended things with her days ago—right after I met Elizabeth, actually.”
“You broke up with my sister for Elizabeth?”
“Ben, I know this won’t be easy for you to hear,” I paused, knowing that they had a close relationship, “but your sister was never my girlfriend. We were never exclusively dating.”
Ben growled as his hand balled into a fist. I dodged the punch and pinched between his neck and shoulder, bringing him down to the ground again.
“Stop fucking trying to hit me. Be pissed, but I never lied to Kate—ever. She knew what it was the whole time.”
“Which was what? Some sort of booty call that lasted two years?”
“Yes,” I answered honestly. “But she knew that. Damn it, Ben, I’m telling you the truth. She always knew. Right from the start.”
“You had to know that she was in love with you.” He moved to sit down on top of a knee-high brick wall, his hand palming his jaw.
I followed suit. “I swear to you that I didn’t. I would never have guessed it was anything more to her than it was to me.”
“She’s a girl, Daniel. Girls don’t hang around for that long for no reason.”
“So I’ve heard.” I shook my head.
“You strung her along. She thought she had a future with you. Hell, she wanted to marry you.”
Marry me? What the fuck?
I never alluded to marriage to Kate or any of the other women I’d slept with.
“I never promised her anything of the sort. I am telling you that I was nothing but upfront and honest with her at all times.”
“Who fucks a girl for two years without having feelings for her? Who does that?” he asked out loud, his irritation growing.
He truly wasn’t hearing a thing I’d said. I sucked in a breath and followed my gut.
“Who tells a girl no guy will ever want her because she’s too ambitious?” It was a wild guess, but I knew I was right.
The second Ben had laid eyes on Elizabeth, his face had lit up like a fucking Christmas tree while her face had dropped and then scowled. She hadn’t been happy to see Ben, I sensed that immediately.
“What the hell are you talking about?” He looked up at me, his jaw already bruising.
“Elizabeth,” I simply said her name—one word, one perfect word.
“Oh Christ, Daniel, that was eight years ago. Apparently, she completely got over that. She seems fine. She’s with you, isn’t she?” He waved his arm toward where Elizabeth had once stood.
“No, she’s clearly not with me, and she’s not fine. What did you say to her?”
“I told her that you were dating my sister. I didn’t know any different. I warned her to stay away from you.” He lowered his head and looked at his feet.
“You what? Motherfucker.” I pushed off from the wall and started pacing. “What did you show her on your phone?”
He made a face like he couldn’t remember, and I grabbed him by the collar.
“What did you show her?”
“A picture of you and Kate. Kate sent it to me yesterday after I texted and asked how she was. She said that you two were hanging out, having a great day, and then she sent me the photo.”
“Yesterday? I haven’t seen her in days. Show me.”
I had no idea what kind of game Kate was playing, but she was fucking with my life, and I wouldn’t have it. I watched as Ben pulled up the text from her, and I saw the picture of Kate and me, smiling. It was the day I’d ended things with her. She’d asked if we could take one last selfie together. I’d warned her that I didn’t think it was a good idea, but she’d insisted, and I couldn’t tell her no after her meltdown. My guilt was already eating me up inside. I’d figured there was no harm in one last photo with her?
“I should hit you again for not minding your own business.”
He raised his hands in surrender. “Sorry. I didn’t know. I honestly didn’t know. Kate’s been lying to us all for years when it came to the two of you.” He grabbed his head as if trying to process it all. “But it all makes sense, like why you didn’t do any holidays with the family. She always made up excuses for you, but now, I get it.”
“Holidays were not a part of the arrangement. That would only confuse things, and I didn’t want there to be any confusion. I wanted to avoid this exact scenario,” I confessed.
“I really screwed things up for you with Elizabeth, huh? Do you want me to call her and apologize?”
“I’m a grown man. I can handle my own shit with Elizabeth. Why don’t you go visit your little sister and make sure she’s okay since she’s obviously not?”
It wasn’t really a request to be honest. My tone demanded that he stay the hell away from Elizabeth and go where he was wanted. Which wasn’t anywhere near my girl.
He stood there, shaking his head like a lost dog. “You’re right. I should go talk to Kate. Sorry again, man.”
****
I dialed Elizabeth’s cell phone three times, but she sent me to voice mail before the third ring. Calling my driver, I had him take me to her apartment before I headed to the airport. Scanning the list posted next to the front of the door, I found her last name and pressed the small button next to it. The speaker beeped an unholy sound before crackling, and my heart actually fucking leaped into my throat at the idea of her voice coming through the speaker.
Only, it didn’t.
The speaker sounded again before clicking, a dial tone replacing the otherwise silent air around me. She had hung up on me before even giving me a chance to speak.
So fucking stubborn.
There had to be something I could do. I stood there, racking my brain, as an older woman exited the building with her tiny dog in tow. She smiled at me, and I grinned back.
“Stuck outside, dear?” she asked.
“My girlfriend is pissed at me and won’t let me in. I left my keys upstairs,” I half-lied.
She giggled and eyed the single white rose in my hand. I had picked it up from the ground where Elizabeth had dropped it. “Oh, well, you’d better go make it up to her then.”
She held the door open, and I bolted up the stairs. Thank God the list outside included the apartment number, otherwise I would have had no idea which direction to head.
I reached the fifth floor and pounded on her door. “Elizabeth! Open the door, and talk to me!”
There were no sounds coming from inside, but I knew she had to be in there. When her next-door neighbor opened his door and glared at me, I apologized for being so loud and promised to keep it down.
Knocking again, I lowered my body against her door and waited for a sign, a sound, anything. Thirty minutes passed before I admitted to myself that she wouldn’t see me tonight. Placing the rose in front of her door, I walked away, accepting my current defeat.
24.
ELIZABETH
Daniel called my cell phone three times before I finally turned it off, my heart unable to deal with whatever he needed to say to me tonight. I hopped in the shower and allowed my tears to fall.
How could I have been so stupid as to think someone like Daniel would ever be a one-woman kind of guy?
He’d told me that he ended things with those other women, and I’d simply believed him, no questions asked.
Why?
I knew the answer, but it made me feel stupid inside. I wanted to be special. When we’d talked the night we met about girls wanting to be different to a guy, that was exactly what Daniel had convinced me I was, and I’d bought into it completely. It hurt. I hurt. Before Daniel, I’d shut myself off from feeling vulnerable for so long that this seemed like it might crush me from the weight.
I sucked in a raspy breath and settled into bed before reaching for my iPod and noise-canceling headphones. Music always soothed me, and tonight, I needed it more than I ever had before.
When I woke up the next morning, I was reluctant to switch on my cell. For a minute, I wondered if I could exist an entir
e day without it. Deciding that probably wasn’t the best idea, I turned it on and watched as it powered up. A lengthy text message from Daniel appeared, telling me that Ben had it all wrong. Daniel wanted to explain things to me, and he begged me not to jump to conclusions.
Too late.
I had already jumped headfirst into that picture Ben had shown me and into the words he had said.
When I exited my apartment door, I almost stepped on the white rose lying across my blue doormat. He had been here? When?
Apparently, my headphones had helped drown out more than just my feelings.
****
Barbara’s long legs walked into my office, and then she plopped down on my couch with a thud.
“What’s the matter?” I asked, hoping for any conversation other than the kind that revolved around Daniel.
“I had a shitty date last night. Please tell me all about how fabulous yours was with Mr. Perfect, so I can be insanely jealous.”
Avoiding all things Daniel didn’t last long. I forced a smile. “Mr. Perfect? More like Mr. I’m Still Dating Other Women.”
Her eyes widened as she leaned forward. “Excuse me? He’s what?”
“We had the most amazing dinner. The conversation, the food—it was…” I struggled to find the right word without being cliché. “Perfect. It was perfect.”
“So, what happened?”
“We walked outside and ran into Ben.”
Her jaw dropped. “Ben, Ben? Like, your ex Ben?”
“Yeah.”
“Oh my God. Is that the first time you’ve seen him since college?”
Sucking in a quick breath, I moved my hand toward my upset stomach. “Yeah. Can you believe that? Anyway, he pulled me aside—”
“Ben pulled you aside?” she interrupted, clearly wanting to get all the facts straight.
I nodded. “So, he pulled me aside and asked me what I was doing there with Daniel.”
“What the fuck business is it of his? Wait—he knows Daniel? How does he know Daniel?” Her brows pulled together with her sudden confusion.
“If you’d let me finish, then you could stop giving yourself wrinkles.”
Her expression immediately softened as she rubbed a finger across the bridge of her nose like she could erase any creases that wanted to form there. “Finish.”
“So, Ben pulled me aside and asked me what I was doing there with Daniel. I told him it was none of his business, but he told me that Daniel was his business. I asked him why that was, and he said because Daniel was dating his sister!”
“No.” Her head started shaking with her disbelief. “Nope. I don’t believe it.”
“Ben showed me a picture of them together.”
“So what? Were they fucking in said picture?”
I choked out a breath. “No.”
“Were they kissing?” she continued, her tone completely unconvinced.
“No.”
“What were they doing then?”
“Just sitting there with their faces squished together. They looked cozy, friendly. Whatever. They looked like more than friends,” I all but shouted.
Barbara rose to her feet. “Have you talked to him? How did things end?”
“I left.”
“With or without Daniel?”
“Without.”
“And you haven’t talked to him since, have you?”
I shook my head. “I feel like an idiot. I was hurting. I believed Daniel when he said he called off his arrangements. I fell for his charm and his stupid hot face.”
“Elizabeth, you don’t need to feel stupid unless you don’t give him a chance to explain his side of things. I understand that this is all new to you, but you can’t run away from him like you’re a child. He isn’t Ben, and you’re not the same girl you were when Ben cheated on you.You’re a grown woman, so act like it.”
“Jeez, Barbara, easy on the tough love. I’m a little rusty.”
“Sorry. I just really like Daniel. I, for one, don’t think he’s lying to you. I know a bullshitter when I meet one. While I think he could bullshit with the best of them, I don’t think he does when it comes to you. But you’ll never know if you don’t talk to him like grown-ups do. Be a grown-up.”
“Being a grown-up is dumb,” I whined.
“Running away is dumber.”
25.
ELIZABETH
Barbara’s admonishment of me made me question my every action from last night. She was right though. I wasn’t the same girl who had once dated Ben. I had grown, and I shouldn’t even think about handling Daniel the same way I would have handled this sort of situation eight years ago. I needed to suck it up and give him a chance to explain.
If it turned out that he was nothing more than a lying sack of shit, then I could hang his nuts from my rearview mirror. But I wouldn’t do anything rash before knowing the facts.
Whatever the truth was needed to wait because of my busy schedule for the day, but it really couldn’t wait too long because of my pounding heart. I needed to get my head out of this crap and focus on my job, but dealing with Daniel would be the only way for me to do that. He had twisted me up since the day I met him, and I needed some clarity.
My legs shook under my desk as I reached for my phone, nervousness and anxiety screaming through me all at once. It would be one thing if Daniel were the one calling, but it was me calling him, and that very fact freaked me out. I scrolled through my contacts until I reached his name. Pressing Send, I held my breath and pressed my lips together as I waited for the call to connect.
“Elizabeth.” My name sounded so beautiful coming from his lips. “I’m so glad you called. Can you give me a second?”
“Sure,” I answered, my throat feeling instantly parched.
Daniel yelled in the background for someone to give him ten minutes, and I heard the distinct sound of a door shutting before he was back.
“You there?”
“I’m here,” I breathed out, wishing I had some water.
“So, about last night—” he started to explain before I cut him off.
“Me first. I’m sorry I ran away without even giving you the chance to talk to me about it. I know that was immature of me, but I was so upset, and I just honestly figured that you’d lied to me.”
His breath heaved through the phone as I waited for him to speak, yell, chastise me, or something.
“Listen to me, Elizabeth. I’m not going to pretend to be happy about the way things went down last night, but I realize that we both have our own issues when it comes to relationships.”
“You can say that again,” I said, mostly speaking for myself.
“I’m not done,” he snapped.
I immediately quieted.
“This is all new to me, too. Having a girlfriend isn’t something I’ve done in a long time. It’s not something I’ve ever wanted to do lately, but I want to—with you. You have to trust me though. I know that trust is earned, but I’m not a liar,” he emphasized, making his point crystal clear. “I’ve never lied to you, and I never will. You have to believe that in order for this to work.”
“You’re right. You’re so right, and I’m sorry. I just saw that picture of you and Kate, and I couldn’t breathe. The way I feel about you frightens me.”
“How do you feel about me?” he questioned, his tone lightening up.
“I like you.” I paused. “A lot.”
“I like you a lot, too,” he mimicked.
“I’m not done,” I pretend snapped. “Thinking that you were still dating someone or that you lied to me about calling off your other women was so hurtful. We’ve just started dating, but I feel things for you that I’ve never felt before. You have the power to wreck me, Daniel, completely fucking wreck me, and that absolutely terrifies me.”
“Welcome to the club.”
“Huh?” I questioned.
“You think you’re the only one risking getting hurt here?”
“I don’t know. I have no id
ea if you have the same feelings that I do.”
“I’m the one who’s been pursuing you. I’m the one chasing you down and making new rules because I can’t stand the thought of being without you.”
“I’m making new rules, too.” I added. Not too long ago, I’d sworn that I’d never date anyone, let alone him.
“Then, stop acting like you’re alone in this. We’re in this together.” His tone was more than reassuring.
As I listened to him, my heart swelled, the shriveling organ matter it had become last night slowly refilling again.
“Is there anything else?” he asked.
“What do you mean, anything else?”
“Do you have any other concerns?”
“Aside from you annihilating my very being?” I tried to tease, but I wasn’t kidding.
“Yes, Elizabeth, aside from that.” He huffed out a laugh.
I chewed on a pen cap, wondering if I should say the first thing that popped into my head.
“What are you afraid of? Tell me, so I can prove you wrong.”
“I’m scared of you, of losing myself in you and forgetting who I am,” I admitted, feeling weaker than I’d ever felt. It was one thing to be a strong businesswoman in an industry filled with men, but it was something entirely different when my heart was on the line, and emotions were involved.
“I’ll never let that happen, and you won’t either.”
“How do you know?”
“Because you’re too strong of a person to lose everything you’ve worked for, and I’ll never let you. I won’t allow you to fall or lose focus. I want you to be great. I want you to be successful.”
His words made me feel like I was floating on air. I swore, if I looked down, I’d see my desk and lamps below me and the ceiling at my fingertips.
“Is this how real relationships are supposed to work?”
“I think so. What are your thoughts so far?”
“Healthy communication, reassurance, building each other up instead of tearing each other down?” I paused. “I like it.”
“I love it. I’ll see you tonight.”
“What?”
“You think I’m staying up here after our first fight? How will we have make-up sex if I’m five hundred miles away?”