My heart speeds up to an unhealthy rate, and I would normally assume I’m having a heart attack, but I know that this is all because of the man sitting in front of me. “You thought about kissing me?” I point at him and then myself.
“More times than is humanly possible,” he says with a sly smile. “I might have also thought of other things, but . . .”
I laugh now, throwing my head back. “Which is why I’m so torn. I don’t want to take advantage of you.” His voice goes low, and he looks down, then up again. “I never want you to think I’m using you.” The fear returns to his eyes. “That is not my intention.”
My hand flies up to his face. Whereas before, I would never cross the line, something in me just won’t stop it, and the words come out in almost a whisper. “I want to date you, too.”
Chapter 20
Ralph
I don’t know if it’s the words or the way her hand feels on my face, but the minute she lifted her hand to my face, all I wanted to do was turn my face and kiss the palm of her hand. Instead, I just watched her blue eyes light up. “But you said you don’t date your clients,” I repeat the words to her.
“You didn’t let me finish,” she says and then looks down. I know that she is going to let me down, and I brace myself for it. I also think I shouldn’t have said it, but I tried to stop it. I tried not to let it get to me, and I tried to sweep it under the rug, but the way she is with me and then the way she was with Ari, I knew that I couldn’t not say anything. “I can’t date you, but that doesn’t me I don’t want to.”
“Yeah,” I say, almost holding my breath. This is it, I think to myself. This is going to be the letdown.
“But,” she says softly. “There is something about you.” She shrugs, and now I see the tears in her eyes. “I’m petrified.” She swallows back the tears. “I’m petrified of getting hurt in all of this, and I’m petrified that if I don’t take this chance, I’ll regret it for the rest of my life.”
“Candace,” I say her name as I hear my heartbeat going louder and louder in my ears. She rubs her thumb on my cheek, and my hand comes up to push her hair away from her face, putting it over her shoulder.
“I’m going to kiss you now.” I lean in, and she doesn’t move. I don’t know if she’s okay with it or not, so I stop, not sure what to do.
“Ralph,” she says my name softly. “I don’t know if I’m going to be able to stop you.” Her voice trails off as I lean in and rub my nose under her jaw. “This is not a good idea,” she says as she moves her hands to my chest. “This is a very bad idea.”
I smile now. “Or a very good idea.” My hand comes up on its own, and I cup her face.
“We shouldn’t be doing this. I shouldn’t want you this much,” she says softly. I don’t wait for the rest before leaning in and kissing her lips softly. I move back a bit, seeing her eyes go dark, and then she moves her hands up my chest and grabs my face to pull me back to her. Her lips find mine, and she tilts her head to the side. When I open my mouth, and her tongue slides into my mouth, I swear the world stops. Her hand goes from my face to the back of my head, and if I thought it would be okay, I would push her back and make out with her on the couch like I was in high school. The way her tongue slides with mine or my stomach literally flips just a bit, it feels like we’ve been kissing like this forever. I’m about to pull her against me when I hear crying. She lets go of my lips softly. “You go get her, and I’ll try to salvage dinner.”
“Or,” I say, getting up with her at the same time. “I can put her back to sleep, we can order pizza, and then make out on the couch.”
“Go take care of Ari,” she says. “Then we can talk.”
“Fine, we can do fifteen, then ten,” I say. She just looks at me, and I swear her lips are just a touch plump from my kisses. “Okay, twenty-five, then five.” Ariella cries again, and I look over at her. “Twenty-five minutes making out, then five minutes talking.”
She laughs now, throwing her head back. “I’ll get her. You clean up and order pizza,” she says, walking back to the bedroom and then stopping. “Do I just give her the pacifier?”
“Yeah,” I say, and then I see her eyes flying down to my cock that is at full height.
“I see tentage.” She points at my pants. “Should I show boobage?”
“If you show me boobage, there might be an explosion. And that is not something I really want to admit to the girl I’m crushing on,” I say, and then she looks at me.
“You’re crushing on me?” she asks, and right before I’m about to answer, Ari lets out the biggest cry of her life. We both rush to her room and see that she is none too pleased as she sits up in her crib.
“What is all the fuss about?” Leaning down, Candace picks her up and holds her close as she cries, yet Ari lays her head on her shoulder and shudders from her crying. “There we go,” she says softly, rubbing Ari’s back, and this right here is one more reason she has worked her way into my heart. “Now, now.” She kisses her cheek. “No more tears.” She looks at me. “Will she go back down?”
“I don’t know. She’s never cried that loud before,” I say. “I can take her.”
“I have her.” She walks over to the rocking chair. “Why don’t you go clean the kitchen?”
“Okay,” I say, not sure I want to leave her but knowing that she couldn’t be in better hands. I walk out and go to the kitchen, cleaning up and putting the shrimp away while I order us food. After fifteen minutes when she doesn’t come back, I walk back to the bedroom and see that she is still rocking her, but Ari is not even close to going to bed. “She is not going to go to sleep,” I say from the doorway, and Ari turns her head to look at me and calls my name.
“I figured that out when she looked at me and babbled for a good three minutes,” she says and then looks down at my daughter in her arms. “I was telling her that she interrupted a very important moment.”
I laugh now. “Really, and what did she say?”
“Well, she said that you’re hers, so I have to back up a bit.” Ari turns now, squirming to get out of Candace’s arms.
“See, she wants her daddy,” she says, getting up and carrying her over to me. I take her into my arms, and she looks at Candace and says my name with a huge smile on her face. “See.” She points at Ari, and then we walk out into the living room.
I sit on the couch with Ari on my chest as she dims the lights. “This is romantic,” I say to her, laughing.
She sits on the couch next to us. “I haven’t seen anything sexier in my life.” She curls her feet under her and leans down on one hand on the couch. “So, what time do you leave in the morning?”
I look at her. “You can’t really be serious?” I lean back into the couch with Ari on my chest. She’s sucking on her pacifier as I tap her bum. I wish she would sit closer to me. “I can’t let you do that.”
She sits up now straight. “Well, one”—she puts up her finger—“you aren’t letting me do anything.” And then she brings up another finger. “And two, I’m offering to help, so let me help.”
“But you work.” I reach over and grab the hand she is holding up, linking our fingers. “Plus, we have to talk about how this is going to work.”
“Well, I was talking to Ariella about that when you interrupted me,” she says, leaning over. I think she’s going to kiss me, but instead, she rubs her nose on Ari’s cheek, then she looks up at me. “How about we take it day by day?” she says, and I move just a touch closer to her. “Let’s start with tomorrow, and we can work it as we go along.”
“I just don’t want you to think . . . ” I start to say, and she puts her fingers on my lips. “That I’m taking advantage of you,” I say with her finger across my lips.
“Jesus,” she huffs out. “What’s it going to take for you to shut up?”
“I can think of a couple of things,” I say when her hand falls from my lips. I want to lean over and kiss her, and she must see it all over my face.
She
gets up and starts to pace in front of me. “I don’t think this is a good idea,” she starts to say. “Actually, the more I think about it, the more I know it’s a bad, very bad idea.” Ari and I both watch her walking back and forth.
“Why?” I say, and she looks at me. “Explain to me why.”
“Well, we work together.” She holds her hand up with one finger. “And two, I don’t date my clients.”
“I told you I wanted to fire you,” I remind her. “Right before I told you.”
“I know, Ralph.” She crosses her arms over her chest. “I was there.”
“Yes, you were.” I smile at her. “Right before you kissed me.”
She opens her mouth. “I didn’t kiss you; you kissed me.”
“Potato, potahto,” I say. “Either way, it ended with my lips on you, so I don’t even care at this point.”
“That’s the whole point,” she says. “I don’t do that. I have never even wanted to.” She rubs her hands over her face.
“Good,” I say, and I’m already over this conversation. “Do you know what I want?” I ask, and she shakes her head. “I want to put my daughter to bed.” I look down at Ari whose eyes are getting heavier and heavier as she listens to this conversation. “Then I want to come and sit down with you and talk to you. For nine days, I wanted nothing more than to call you and talk to you. I wanted nothing more than to ask you to come over or to make an excuse to see you.”
“Ralph,” she says my name softly.
“I get you’re scared to date me, and I’m scared to date you. Heck, I don’t even know if I’m good at dating. If maybe I’ll just fuck it all up, but I know that I want to try it with you.”
“That’s just the point,” she says. “It’s making the lines all blurry.”
“What if we don’t label it then?” I counter. I’m willing to do and say whatever I need to right now to make sure that when she leaves here, she knows that she and I are going to happen.
“What do you mean?” she asks.
“I mean, what if we just do what we are doing and not say it’s dating?” She laughs and rubs her eyes. “What if it’s just two friends getting to know each other?”
“Would we be kissing?” she asks.
“Fuck yeah,” I answer, and I see she wants to say something. “What were you afraid of right there?”
“I wasn’t afraid to say anything.” She rolls her eyes at me. “I just didn’t know how to word it.”
“Well, someone once told me that the best way is to just say it, like ripping off a Band-Aid.” I wink at her, and she pushes my shoulder.
“That sounds like a smart person.” She winks at me. “What I wanted to say was we have to think about how Ariella would feel in all this.”
“What?” I ask, almost shocked.
“I don’t know if she’s ready for this. I mean, she hardly knows me, and I’ll be kissing her man all the time, and well, I don’t know how she’s going to feel about it.”
I sit up, holding Ari’s back as she sleeps on me. “She’s six months. The only thing she feels strongly about is having her milk when she wants it and not sitting in her poop for longer than two minutes.”
“Yeah, but it might be weird for her,” she says, and I stand now.
“You know that she likes you, right?” I say. “She smiles at you and goes to you. It took her four days to get used to Miranda.”
“Well, that’s because she had a sense that she was batshit crazy.” She folds her arms over her chest. “You need to change the locks on the house.”
“Fuck,” I say. “I didn’t even think of that. Do you really think that she’ll come back?” I look around as Ari softly snores on me.
“Oh my God.” She smacks her head. “The woman came here unannounced,” she starts, putting up her fingers, and I noticed that she does this often. “Dressed in her sluttiest clothes.” She puts up another finger. “And then she tried to make you stir-fry.” She holds up the fourth finger. “Batshit crazy.”
“You know what?” I say, walking over to her and bending down while I hold Ari. “You’re cute when you get all flustered and start using your fingers.” I kiss her lips, and she kisses me back. I shake my head and walk toward Ari’s room, leaving her lips lingering with my kiss.
Chapter 21
Candace
I park my car right next to his and get out, grabbing my bag with my laptop and my agenda. I look around, seeing that some of his neighbors are already up and getting the lawn work done before the heat of the day sets in. I feel like I just left here, but it’s been over ten hours. The only thing that keeps replaying in my head is that this is a bad idea. “Don’t go there.”
Between admitting to him that I actually wanted to date him and then having him kiss me, yesterday was a mix of emotions for me. But what a fucking kiss it was. They say some kisses rock your world. They say some kisses you’ll always remember. They say there is always that one kiss you’ll tell your grandkids about. Last night was that kiss. It’s a kiss I know I’ll never forget, and it’s a kiss I silently begged for. But just as fast as I told him I wanted to date him, I told him why I couldn’t. I repeated it over and over again, but each time, his lips would touch me, and I would be pulled to him. It was a force I’ve never felt before, and I have no idea what to do with it.
But the most shocking thing was that every single time he kissed me last night, it was like the first time. My heart would speed up just a touch, and I would give my last breath for just a taste of him. Last night when I finally got up to leave, he cornered me against the front door. His hands on either side of my head and my hands on his waist, he just kissed me, and I left there in a daze. My lips were swollen from his kisses, yet I wanted to go back for more.
I knock on the door in case Ariella is sleeping, and I hear the locks click right away. The door opens, and he stands there in black gym shorts with the team logo on the bottom cuff, a matching T-shirt, and a black baseball cap on his head backward. A smile fills his face, and his eyes turn a crystal blue.
“Good morning,” I say, walking into the house. In two moves, he has the door closed behind me and pressed me against it with his body flush with mine.
“Good morning,” he whispers right before his mouth claims mine. My hand drops my bag by my feet, and they both go to his waist, then work their way up his hard chest as I feel him. He buries his hand in my hair, making us both moan. His tongue slips into my mouth, and I realize that I was wrong before. This, this right here is the kiss I’m going to remember. Even when his lips leave mine, it takes me a second to open my eyes, and then all I see are his lips. I lean back in to take some more. I forget where I am, and I forget who I am. He kisses me softly, then lets go of my lips, and I just can’t get enough. “God, you are going to make leaving really fucking hard.”
My eyes flutter open, and I just look at him. “Is she up?” I look over his shoulder.
“She is,” he says, “which is why I kissed you at the door.” He winks at me, laughing, and I push him away.
“Shut up.” I walk past him, picking up my bag, and as he walks next to me, our hands graze each other. I walk into the living room and see Ari sitting there in the middle of the room with toys all around her. “Good morning, princess,” I say. She smiles at me, and I grab her, bringing her up and kissing her neck. “Did you sleep well?”
She babbles at me. “She did. She slept a full six hours,” Ralph says, and I look at him. “Are you sure about this?”
“Ralph.” When I say his name, he walks over and kisses me on the lips right in front of Ariella. “Why did you do that?”
“Because I can.” He winks at me. “And because I love when you say my name. Now, she’s just had a bottle,” he says to me. “She usually goes down for a nap or two.”
“We got this,” I say and then look at Ariella. “Don’t we?” She closes her eyes and scrunches up her nose. “Is there anything else you feel the need to tell me?”
“Well, she likes to
have cereal, but I should be back for that,” he says and then looks around. “Make yourself at home.”
“I will,” I say. “Don’t you have to go?”
“I do,” he says, kissing Ari on the cheek and then looking at me. “I’m going to kiss you so I hope Ari is looking the other way.”
I don’t even try to argue with him. I just kiss him back, and when he steps away from me, I look at Ari, who is too busy trying to get her hands to go into each other. “Be safe,” I say, and he just smiles.
“I’ll call you, and if there is anything . . .” he says nervously.
“Go.” Shaking my head, we walk him to the door and wave as he drives away. “Your father, I tell you, Ari. He’s too much.”
Walking back inside, I start setting up my day. I clean up the kitchen a bit, and when she starts to get a bit cranky, I grab a bottle and sit with her on the couch while I go over my emails on my phone. When she falls asleep, I put her down in her crib and then look around. This room is so bland, I think to myself. There is no color; it’s just cream and cream. I close the shades a touch, and my eyes avoid the picture of Cassie. When I walk back out, I grab my laptop and get ahead of my schedule, and when she wakes up from her nap, my work for the day is done.
“Do you want to go for a walk?” I ask as I carry her out, preparing her a bottle and then looking in the garage for a stroller. Cardboard boxes fill half the garage, and I’m shocked when I see his name on all of them. I’m still searching for the stroller when my phone rings. I don’t even check to see who it is before I answer. “Hello?” I say and then hear my brother’s voice, and then I realize that I’m on FaceTime. “Hello,” I say to the phone when I see Zoey sitting on top of Evan.
Only One Kiss (Only One Series) Page 13